My wife doesn't 'do' subtleties very well which accounts for her two most endearing characteristics: she always says what's on her mind and because of that she can be highly unpredictable. Like now. She is cuddling into me as she always does after sex, with one leg over my hip, her arm across my chest and her face tucked into my neck. "I was thinking of you having sex with another woman."
When Janice prefaces a statement with 'I was thinking' what she really means is, 'I have decided' β I knew this after 24 years of marriage. When I turned to look at her, spilling her leg from me, she continued, "It occurred to me a few weeks ago and I've thought a lot about it ever since β I was thinking of mentioning it on the phone (I'd been away on business) but decided maybe a face-to-face would be better." Then she looked up at me and when she asked, "What do you think of our sex life?" I knew she wasn't changing the subject.
We've had this conversation before, many times, but never after such a shocking lead-in, which I chose for the moment to ignore, "Why don't you ever ask me about our sex life BEFORE we have sex?"
"I think we're in a rut, Frank."
"Our rutting has become ho-hum?" I tried to make light of something I knew had been true for awhile.
"We've only got a few years left to enjoy it. I think we both have a lot of untapped potential in us that we should be trying to get out ... while we still can."
"Is this more about you, than me?" I sensed it was.
"It's about both of us, Frank, it's about our partnership. I've thought this through and I think you should, too and to help you I've done a little of the heavy lifting." By 'heavy lifting' she explained that she had done some research, found a local adult on-line bulletin board, put an ad on it and had received several replies.
"What did you put in the ad?" I was trying to pretend to be a little blase about all this but really I was shocked, the idea of having sex with another woman was hardly a foreign thought, but my wife actually recommending it was.
She laughed, "'Loving middle age couple is interested in sharing a few intimate hours a month with another loving middle age couple. The operative word here is loving. No piercings, no tattoos and no taboos. Send your expectations to ...'"
"What have you got against tats?" I didn't want her to see my shock, I don't know why, maybe because she seemed so, I don't know, maybe 'cool' about it, certainly blasΓ©. Also, there was the slight matter of this not being about me having sex with another woman but us having sex with another couple, a whole different thing.
"I wanted to try to weed out the undesirables. At first, I excluded the fat and the ugly but then realized that if we liked them what would it matter. Besides, to exclude the fat and the ugly would leave a pretty small chance of finding anyone. But, as for the tattoos, I've never liked them and I don't like piercings, either. Anyone in our age group who has them ...," she shrugged.
While she was talking I was trying to process why she would have done all this without consulting me. I knew that because I was away so much it wasn't unusual for Janet to take the initiative in our domestic life and once she had done all the work she would usually just bring me in at the decision-making stage. But most of the time I was at least aware of her contemplations, this whole things was news to me, "God, are you sure about this, honey, I mean, have you really thought it through?"
She took my penis, which was wet with her juices and now fully erect again, "It could be fun, Frank, it could be exciting and it could take us to places we've never been to before, so, ya, sure I'm serious about this and ya, I've really thought it through, from a thousand different angles. It makes sense for us: we're still relatively young and alive and virile, it's way too early to let sex peter out on us, so, ya, I've thought about it a lot. What do you think?"
I know my penis had already given me away and I was thankful Janet didn't mentioned it, "You want me to have sex with another woman?"
"Yes, I've envisioned it, it really turns me on," she seemed impossibly matter-of-fact.
"And you'd have sex with another man."
"Only if you want me to."
"Do you want to?" I was looking down on her but could only see the top of her head β which seemed to me to be holding an entire trove of alarming, if exciting, thoughts.
"Only if it would turn you on."
"Does the thought of sex with another guy turn you on?"
"Ya, it really does because you'd be watching me and you'd be loving it."
Janet has always been highly-sexed and in bed always willing to give a lot more than she got, so for me we've always had a terrific sex life, but I've known for a year or more, ever since our last kid moved out, that we'd hit a bit of a brick wall. And I knew she thought so, too. "So you're entirely serious about this?"
She looked up at me and smiled with reassurance, "As I said, we've got a few replies. I 'interviewed' a woman yesterday, so, ya, I guess I'm entirely serious about it."
Janet is impatient, always has been. When things in her world start moving they tend to move very quickly, so it didn't surprise me that once she had dreamed up the idea, she would start work immediately on making it happen. "And?"
"As I said in the ad, what I wanted was a couple more or less like us. We love each other, we aren't threatened by anything, we've had a great time in bed in the past and we'd like to take it a little further while we can. That's what I told Sandra and that's what Sandra wants, too."
"Sandra?"
"She and her husband, Bill β he's a corporate pooh-bah, they're very up-scale, are about our age and they have more or less our mindset on this. Sandra said she was thinking of putting in an advertisement on the same bulletin board but didn't have the courage but when she saw ours she emailed right away. All the other responses we got seemed a little 'off' for one reason or another and a few were just down-right offensive, but Sandra and Bill sounded like they want exactly what we want, that's why I agreed to meet with her."
"And what is that, exactly?" I could see she didn't understand me, "What exactly do WE want?"
"To hang out with them for a few hours a month in a safe environment and see where it can go. Do I know where that's going to be? No. Do you? No. Do they? No, but I want to find out, they want to find out, so the question is, do you?"
"If I said no?"
"Than that will be the end of it, forever. I don't need this, Frank, we don't need this, I just think it might be exciting and, in a way, enriching, I mean by now we've pretty much plumbed the depths of each other but I know there's a lot more in you and I know there's a lot more in me, too, we just need a little external stimulation to get it out. The Jansen's want to provide that stimulation and they want us to provide the same for them. Sounds perfect to me."