My wife and I were married for four years when we discussed swinging. Actually, she was the first to bring it up. Initially I was a shocked, but also aroused at seeing a different side to her sexuality. We placed a few ads for couples, but nothing ever really came of it. We were young-- she in her mid 20s and I in my early 30s. Most couples seem to graduate to swinging a little later in life, or so it seemed.
Through this exploration, we decided that we would look for another man to join us in a threesome. This seemed logistically much more attainable. We also discussed at length the realities associated with marriage, that it was OK to have little crushes, to be flirtatious, and so on-- as long as there were no secrets. She went on to share that she had a crush on one of our coworkers (we both worked for the same company). His name was Ron, a smooth-talking, black, married man. It seemed harmless enough, since he was married. They had kissed once or twice in his car after a post-work happy hour outing that I skipped, but that was as far as anything had gone. He certainly had been pushing things to go further, but she kept fending him off, reveling in his attention. It made my wife feel and act sexier. We derived a lot of mileage from exploring the fantasy during sex. Of course, in our talks, the topic of cock size would come up periodically, and I discovered she was more into size than I had imagined. I asked if she though Ron would be quite large. She coyly answered that he might just be average, as she had already brought up the topic with him, and he answered that not all black men had huge cocks. Again, I was shocked that she had even had a discussion like that with him.
We still were seeking another man or a couple. It was turning into a huge fantasy for me, and I found myself pushing her more and more. Generally she was more reserved about this, feeling reluctant to have sex with a total stranger. Of course there were other issues to consider in inviting someone we knew-- like having to see them on an ongoing basis. Eventually this was turning into almost an obsession for me. I was at the point where I had given her permission to have sex with anyone she wanted-- as long as she told me about it. She said she would only follow through if I was present. It seemed like a fair enough situation, since the possibility of something occurring was just as intense as the reality-- or so it seemed.