Mom
I was attacked as soon as I walked into my mother's kitchen. "What kind of man are you," my mother demanded. "Jean said you left her last night without even trying or attempting to fight for her. We didn't raise you like that."
My mother stood with her hands on her hips, giving me the stink eye. I suppose that I should have expected that. She loved Jean like the daughter she never had. Of course, every time she says that, my sister Sheila gets up and leaves the room. She and my mother have been at odds since Sheila hit puberty and stopped letting her mother dress her like a baby doll. In the ensuing 16 years my lovely sister has tried every fashion that seemed designed to set my mother off: punk, goth and torn clothes fashions I don't even think have names.
"Did she tell you why I left?" I wondered what story Jean might have fed my mom.
"Yes, she did. She said she feels like life is passing her by, that she needs more experiences while she's young, before kids and life ties her down. I understand that -- I could have had a real career if your father hadn't swept me off my feet and kept me barefoot and pregnant." I could see mom starting to tear up.
"Mom, you've had two kids -- that's not exactly being kept barefoot and pregnant, especially since your youngest is 28 and has been out of the house for 10 years. You could have had a career more than two decades ago." I chastised my mother. She is one of those that always thinks she could have done great things, if only she had had the chance. Sheila and I used to joke that talent might have been handy to have, as well. But she was a great mother. "Besides, did she tell you the experiences she wanted was other men's cocks?"
My mother looked shocked, but apparently not at Jean's desires. "You don't have to be crude, Scott. Show some respect and civility."
Now I was shocked. "Mom, are you so desperate for grandkids that you don't care who Jean screws, as long as she gets pregnant?"
"No, of course not. But sometimes sex is just sex, and you don't throw away five years of a good marriage without fighting for it." That was accompanied by more stink eye from Mom.
I think at this point, my jaw hit the ground. I couldn't believe she had just said that. "So, if Dad needed more experiences, you'd be okay with that?"
"Oh, grow up Scott. Do you think your father has been faithful for 35 years? With being stationed overseas when he was in the service, and all the traveling he's done for the company since he retired from the military? Get real. And do you think I've always sat here on my hands, waiting for his return? Life's too short. Both he and I have tried to enjoy life as it came, and our marriage has been healthier for it."
I plopped down on a kitchen chair. I was flummoxed. These were my parents? I really didn't know them.
"You get back home and fight for your wife," my mother continued. "She loves you and you know it. You can work through this."
I sat quietly for a moment, processing my thoughts. Then I got up and put my arms around my mother, hugging her.
"No, mom, I can't. We're done. Whatever you and dad have may work for you, but to me having a wife slutting around isn't a marriage. Nor would it be a marriage if I were to run around with other women. That's not what I got married for."
I kissed her forehead. "I'll try not to judge you and Dad, your life and marriage is yours and seems to work for you. But I've got to tell you it saddens me to learn that your marriage vows are so flexible and open to situational ethics and convenience. But it's not for me."
My mother started weeping, either from frustration at my opposition or from sadness at the destruction of my marriage. Or maybe for the loss of my good opinion of my parents. "But you and Jean are so happy and perfect for one another, how can you let that die?"
"I haven't. Jean has. I had expectations of what marriage should be, which we talked about before getting hitched. Jean claimed the same expectations, but now claims that my expecting her faithfulness forced her into agreeing with me for fear of losing me. Now five years later she thinks I should be committed enough to accept her slutty desires? To save what? A marriage apparently built on lies, sustained by lies and with a future that looks to be full of more lies?"
"But she loves you, Scottie. This doesn't change that. You can make this work. Just give the girl a little leeway and things will go back to normal. You'll see." Mom patted my chest in emphasis.
"Mom, you and Jean think this is all about her love for me. You forget that she's killed my love for her. I have no desire or need to 'save' our marriage. It's done. If you want me in your life, you'll recognize that. If you keep pushing Jean on me, or have her around when I'm here, then we'll be done. Do you understand me? Done, Mom, like my marriage is done."
She looked at me wide eyed. "When did you become so rigid? You've always been so easygoing and good natured. Now you just sound angry and self-righteous."
"I am angry. Thank you for finally recognizing that. My wife has told me her desire is to be a slut and me a cuckold. Why shouldn't I be angry? And self-righteous? You think my belief in my vows and Jean's vows is an unfounded certainty? You think because they mean nothing to her, and apparently less to you and Dad, that I shouldn't believe that they have meaning to me?"
I could feel my mouth forming a sneer, although I didn't want to sneer at my mother. "And I'm damned easygoing with things that are inconsequential or have no meaning to me, but why the hell would I be easygoing about my life, my future and my happiness? I'll be damned if I'll be easy going about that!"
I realized that I was now shouting at the top of my voice. My anger had me screaming in my mother's face. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth as her eyes widened and showed real fear.
I stepped back and rubbed my face, then clasped my hands together, as if in prayer. "I've got to go, Mom. I'll call you. Don't call me."
As I drove away, tears poured down my face. I couldn't breathe, trying to wrap my head around it all. Jean's desired infidelity, my mom's revelations of my dad's faithlessness and her, what? Sluttiness? I couldn't easily think of my mother as a slut, but she admitted, practically bragged about sex outside of marriage. Who were these people? I thought I got my values from them? Obviously not.
Sheila:
Trying to wrap my head around the ever-expanding collapse of reality as I knew it, I headed over to my sister Sheila's. Although she was 3 years my junior, from childhood she had a natural cynicism and dry humor that always helped me figure out any emotional turmoil. Plus, she was close to Jean, although they hadn't been that close, lately. I was surprised that that fact was just dawning on me.
When she answered her door, Sheila took one look at me and asked who had pissed on my rainbow. I told her and she didn't look shocked at all. She just nodded her head and waved me into her house.
"It's that Monica bitch," she said. "I tried to warn Jean about her, but she wouldn't listen. She just shut me out."