Wife Wants a Hall Pass

After a minute I said, "The ducks are still out there. You and I are still here."

She looked up at me then shifted her gaze to the two ducks billing and cooing on the lake. She said, "They still love each other."

I answered, "We do too."

She moved closer to me, so I could put my arm around her. She almost whispered through her whimpers, "Luke, I know I'm not worth it but please love me and help me with this."

I said, "Listen, Little One, you are worth it. Remember, nothing bad has happened, and I will always love you. Your part of this is over, you have told me the story. Now you can rest. Let your mind shift the burden to me. You have been carrying it too long, alone. I will find the right solution, and we will get through this."

I was still angry and there was still some pain, but my mind was more settled. Rational thought had returned. All I had to do then was sift the data, select the proper solution, make a plan and execute the plan. Problem solved, game over. I will handle this, my confidence rose.

She whispered, "I will always love you." There was a long period of silence, then she said, very quietly, "You promised."

That didn't register. I knew I had heard her right, but I didn't know what she meant. "Promised what?" I asked.

She looked at me through teary eyes, and the little quiver in her lower lip was back. She said, "You promised, if I ever got in a situation like this, you would give me a hall pass."

To use an old aviator's term, my gyros tilted. Mentally, I made no sense of that at all. "I can't even imagine a scenario where I promised you I would let you have sex outside our marriage," I said. "Please help me remember."

Her sniffles disappeared. She had come completely back to the problem at hand. The problem as she saw it was she needed me to condone an illicit tryst with this dickhead she was running with. What I should do is take her into my den, give her a good spanking, tell her no and go kill the dip-shit. That seemed like the best solution so far. I put it at the top of the list.

She was about to argue her point. She'd had a lot of time to think about it. I've argued with her before. She is damn good at it. I'm sure she has a memorized speech already in her head. I should be making notes. I can't let her win this one. If she does I'll have to kill the bastard. That's what I want to do anyway. Maybe I should let her win.

She said, "Remember the night you asked me to marry you?"

I nodded.

She went on, "I told you that I had one serious reservation." The tremor, in her voice told me she was losing it. I had a chance. She said, "I told you it might not be good for me to marry the first man that I ever slept with. Most girls have several lovers, before they choose one to spend their life with. I would wonder what other men were like. We had given each other hall passes, while you were overseas. I did that because I knew you had had several girls older than me, before we started dating. I knew you wouldn't go two years without sex, and I didn't want you to have to cheat. While you were gone I know you nailed every one of those cute little slant eyed girls you could catch. I read about their mores and folk-ways. There were a lot of them, and they were easy to catch.

"I only used mine to date, so I could go to the proms and parties, in the last two years of high school." She continued, "I never had all-the-way sex with anyone else, before you or since."

"Okay Babe," I broke in, "I remember. I told you, I would give you a hall pass if the problem ever came up."

She nodded her head and said, "Yes, you did. You promised."

Her green eyes welled up, and she started pouting. That, of course, is a ploy she has been using since she was four years old. It always worked on her father, her Uncle Gus and me. In her mind it should work now. If this argument was about anything else this is where I would say, "You win Sweet Heart," kiss her on the cheek and write a check. I can't let her win this one.

"Little One," I said, "That was twenty years ago, and we were talking about something that I thought would never come up. In my mind, I thought those were just some words I had to say, to get you to wear my ring.

She answered, "We were talking about a real problem. Something I thought would come up. I had looked at other boys. It was a real problem, and you offered a good solution. It has come up. I want a hall pass, and you promised."

I thought, "I can't believe this shit. Killing the bastard might be the only answer. It's alright that's how I want to handle this anyway." Then I said out loud, "Baby, are you going to hold me to a promise like that?"

It seemed like a long time before she responded. Finally she answered, "No." She paused for a few seconds then said, "but I want a hall pass, and you promised."

She let that sink in then said, "I won't hold you to your promise. If you say no, it will never happen. I will never talk to him again. I could never cheat. If I could it would have already happened."

There was another pause, and she went on, "Before you decide, I have two more reasons that you should give it to me, if you love me."

I thought, "Now she is fighting dirty." I said, "You're fighting dirty now, but go ahead and shoot. I'm listening."

"Both of these things will show you how much and why, I need for this to happen. I'll try not to fight dirty any more, but I reserve the option in case I need it to win."

I thought, "Shit, she didn't have to say that. There is no way she can win. If need be I'll kill her sweet little perfect gentleman, shit-ass friend."

She said, "The first thing. Do you remember my first orgasm last night?"

I nodded and said, "Yes, it seems a lot longer ago than that, but it was the one you wouldn't let me have credit for. You said it was too easy."

She said, "Yes, we called it the easy one. Now listen very closely to what I say. It is very important for you to understand what I am telling you. This is not going to be pleasant for you. I am sorry, but you must know. You said you wanted the whole truth."

I said, "Go ahead, I think I can handle anything now. The things you have already said have been very hard for me to hear."

She went on, "The real reason I couldn't give you credit for the easy one was, because it wasn't yours. It was Ben's. It was heat for him I was carrying in my belly when I got home. It was he, who had made me so wet I had to carry my panties home in a baggie. I know that it was your hand that I was holding against my cunt, your hand that I was humping, your fingers in my G-spot.

"In my mind it was his body, I had my legs wrapped around. It was him I was humping. It was his magnificent cock thrusting through my rough spot. It was Ben who generated that powerful orgasm in me. In my mind, he filled me with his cum. He had such sexual energy. I gave him more pleasure than he had ever had. This all happened in twenty seconds. It made me so very happy when he smiled. I had to have this fun fuck with him. I had to pleasure myself and satiate him. I had to satisfy our animal lust before I could make love with you."

I remained silent.

"Do you think that was bad, Luke? Am I cheating? Is a deep, strong fantasy that satisfies a need a bad thing? Was I lying when I said nothing bad happened?"

I answered her, "No Linda, we all have fantasies. I have fantasies. You have had fantasies before, haven't you?

She said, "Yes, all my life. I had fantasies about you when I was a fourteen-year-old child and all the time you were separated from me. They served a need. I had fantasies of other men many times through the years. Sometimes they were fantasy men, but sometimes they were men I knew. None of them have ever been as powerful as the one I just described to you. I didn't have the words to describe how powerful it really was.

"I need to make my fantasy with Ben real. I am very afraid that you will hate me. If you can't find a way to help me through this, just tell me no. It will never happen behind you. Please don't tell me no, Luke. I need this young man at least once. If I can't have him my curiosity will never be satisfied."

"What the Hell am I going to do?" I thought. I said, "Enough of the fantasy story. I get the picture. What is the other thing you mentioned?"

She said, "Luke, I told you to listen closely. You missed the good part in the fantasy. I know you did, or you would have made a comment about it."

"Linda," I said, "truthfully, the whole thing was hard for me to listen to. I didn't see anything in it that was good. Damn girl, try to see this from my side. The only woman I have ever loved, is fantasizing about fucking another man and asking me to tell her it's all right to do it for real. I am trying hard to hide the pain I feel. I don't think there is anything remotely good about what you just described to me."

A tear escaped the corner of her left eye and ran down her face. She sniffled once and dragged herself back together. She said, "Did you hear me when I told you, that this was just a lustful fun fuck and I had to get it over with, so I could make love with you. You and I have our fun fucks all the time. He and I will never make love."

I didn't say anything.

"The next and last thing I want you to know is from an earlier similar experience I had," She said.

I said, "DAMN LINDA, I tell you now, I can't take much more of this. Are you going to tell me you wanted to fuck another guy? One I never heard about."

"Yes," She said, "I will give you the short version, so I can get it over quickly. If you need more detail, tell me."

"I won't," I said.

She started a whole new tale. "When I was in my late twenties, playing soccer mom for Mike, he had a most wonderful coach."

I said, "I remember him. You are talking about Bobby Wilkinson, right? That big, Scott with the accent."

"Yes," she answered, "He was the third alpha male in my life; Uncle Gus, you, and then Bobby. Of course Ben is number four. I thought Booby might have been the most beautiful man on the planet. He was about 6'4", around 230 pounds. He had muscles on his muscles, and the bulge in shorts held great promise. To ease your soul I never got to play with it. He moved so well. He radiated sex. I watched as he ran, jumped and handled the ball as he interacted with the boys. He was so good with the boys. He always maintained strict discipline, but always praised each of them for a good job when they came off the field.

"I could tell the boys all loved him. I think they would rather be beaten by him than be kissed by someone else. They were only eight. I would have rather been kissed. My attraction to him escalated every time I went to a game. I noticed dampness in myself after watching him one day and dreamed about him for the first time that night. The butterflies started whenever he spoke to me. To make a long story short, I came to know I wanted him."

"Enough of that, let me tell you what happened," she said. "We became very friendly and even flirted a little. I wanted to sleep with him more and more. That's not right. I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to try to fuck him to death. I lost it one day and had an orgasm. I was sitting in the stands watching him. It was a cool day, and I had a blanket around me. I felt a tingle in my twat and reached down to touch myself. When my fingers made contact my orgasm started. I helped it along a little bit. It wasn't very powerful. I did maintain my composure, and I didn't scream. It was, however, much more than the baby ones I have, and it was quite nice.

"I wanted to do it again ten minutes later, but I started feeling guilty, and it didn't happen. I knew in my heart that clearly that sweet orgasm had been a gift from Bobby. I accused myself of cheating, and the guilt overwhelmed me for a while.

"When I got home I was able to rationalize that I hadn't cheated. After all he never touched me that day. He had never touched me inappropriately. With my conscience eased I lay back on our bed, fantasized about spreading my legs to give him entry and masturbated. In my mind I could feel his cock pounding into me. I came hard, all over myself. I gave him credit for that one too. It was number two for him in one day. The guilt came back, but I beat it down again. It was easier that time."

I broke in, "Linda, that guy had to have been fifty years old, wasn't he?"

"Fifty-two," she said, "I checked; old enough to be my father. The grey hair at his temples turned me on. He was the proverbial silver-fox. I hope you look that good when you are fifty."

She continued, "I couldn't get him out of my mind. I wondered if he ever thought about me. I found myself alone with him a few days later. The boys were having a practice game, and they were all on the field. It was close to the end of the session, so Bobby and I were gathering up equipment getting ready to leave. I couldn't stand it anymore.

"We had been together for over two hours, most of that time alone. I came close to him and looked up into his beautiful blue eyes. He looked like a giant from my perspective. He was at more than a foot taller than me. His wonderfully muscled body had a slight sheen of perspiration on it, and I got a whiff of a most manly odor. It must have been chock full of pheromones. My pants got wet."

"I couldn't help myself, I spoke quietly and said, 'I had a really nice dream about you.' He looked right into my eyes, I know he could see my soul."

"He said, in that highly accented voice if his, 'Well, how complimentary.' He paused waiting for me to say something but soon realized I was frozen in my spot. He smiled down at me, and asked in that beautiful accent, 'And was it erotic?'"

"I managed to reply, 'Very.' Then I added, 'Would you sleep with me?'

"He answered, 'Linda, you are quite the looker and a terrible temptation. It is my policy however,' he went on, 'to never dally with a married woman. Thank you so much for asking but I cannot. People like your young son there might suffer, should we be found out.'

"I thought, 'I have never been turned down by a man in my life, it was always the other way around.' The kids came in, and the conversation was over. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case."

Linda said, "He sent the kids to the snack bar as he always did. He gave them each a treat on his tab. They seemed to never abuse the privilege.

"We started to carry the gear to his SUV and found ourselves alone again." I asked, "What if I got a hall pass?"

"He looked at me quizzically," and said, "Please define hall pass."

I said, "My husband's permission."

"He seemed a little stunned, but maintained his composure." He asked, "Is that done here?"

"I said, sometimes."

"He was still, but soon came back to life. His accent was driving me wild. He said, 'In a case like that Pretty Lady, I would most certainly reconsider my former position.'"

Linda went on, "He looked at the group of boys and none of them were close. To my wonderful surprise he reached out and drew me into his arms. His kiss was as lovely as his accent. Our tongues met and mated in the same moment. He gently massaged one of my breasts in one of his big hands. The other pulled my bottom closer to him. He allowed me to feel his erection nestle against my abdomen. Here I was, in Heaven again."

She continued, "I broke the kiss after a long time. I couldn't see what was going on around us. I felt we shouldn't be caught.

"On the drive home I started to try to devise my plan. I had to figure out the best way to ask you for the hall pass. I had to find a way. I knew I couldn't go any farther without one. I really wanted to have Bobby inside me. There didn't seem to be any good options. It finally came to my mind that this would hurt you. I not only felt guilty, I felt dirty and selfish."

Drawing to her close she said, "To end this bit, I never found a way to approach you. The truth is, I chickened out. A few days later when I encountered Bobby, I told him you had said no. He said that he was far from surprised and that if someone as beautiful belonged to him he wouldn't allow other men to look much less touch. Then he gathered me up and kissed me again. It was another trip to Heaven. This time it was gentler and sweeter. He held me close, but he didn't fondle me. He told me that it had been a happy thought for him, and he held great disappointment in his heart. I loved to hear him talk."

"I saw him at the games for the rest of the season. We were friendly and worked together when it was my turn to help. Neither of us ever mentioned our situation. I knew I couldn't trust myself, so I never allowed us to be alone together again. I carried much disappointment in my heart."

I had to ask, "Linda, why did you think you had to tell me about Bobby? It could have just been water under the bridge, no harm, no foul."

"I had to Luke," she answered. "I want you to know about the aftermath of this episode. This is as simply as I can tell you. All of our experiences in life are stored in our brains as memories. I keep my special memories of Bobby in a special box. He was such a wonderful man. The box is displayed in a prominent place, because I go there so often. I remember his looks, from his massive muscular build, the grey in his hair and the laugh wrinkles around his eyes. I remember the way he was with the kids, the way he moved and a thousand other special details. The most beautiful memory is the first time he kissed me. I was so excited and full of anticipation. All these details are what make him different from other men, better than most. He, like you Luke, was a true alpha."

"What is important for you to know about is the other box for Bobby. It is on the same shelf. It is full of awful, terrible, ugly regret. Regret that our relationship didn't go farther. I regret that I didn't have the courage to ask you to let me be with him. One night would have been enough to empty the box of regret. If I had had that one night there would only be beautiful memories on the shelf where I keep Bobby's boxes."

Linda continued. "We are approaching middle age Luke. We will be old someday. I don't want to search through my memories when I am old and find only ugly regret. I will remember Ben when I am old, I don't want his box to be full of regret. Please Luke allow me to have him for just one night. You and I have had thousands of nights together, and we will have thousands more. Let me have one night with Ben."

I sat and watched the ducks for a minute.

She spoke, "That's all I have, Luke. I am so tired. I'm not going to think about this again until you tell me what to do. Do you still love me?"

I said, "Yes."

I stood and took her hand. She let me pull to her feet, hooked her arm in mine and leaned on me some. We walked slowly toward the house.

Juan and his crew were gone by the time we got back. We were alone.

She said, "I know you have work. I'm going to put the sheets on our bed. Then take a nap. I'm spent. Please come and hold me when you are finished."

I pulled her close and held her for a few seconds. I kissed her on the forehead and said, "I will, Little One. It will only be a few minutes."

I went to my home office and closed the door. The closed door is the indicator that I don't want to be disturbed. If the house was on fire Linda might open that door.

I cranked up my telephone and called Lex Barns. Lex and I go way back. I met him in Da Nang when I was there. He is a big old gruff ex-Army Ranger. He was working security at the air base that was being built. Most security people are low-level soldiers that spend most of their time walking guard posts. Lex was in charge of a unit responsible for vetting personnel who worked for the civilian construction crews involved in the project. He was good at his job.