Wife Wants a Hall Pass

She started babbling again to the point, I think, she didn't know what she was saying. "Luke you are going to be so angry. I am afraid. I know you are going to be hurt. I am so sorry. Please don't stop loving me. Please don't send me away. I thought the problem would go away if I came home and made love with you yesterday. It didn't. I still want to sleep with him." She broke down into sobs.

My world collapsed around me.

My stomach turned upside down and jumped into my throat. A white-hot knot of pain formed in my gut. My vision blurred and then, I think, I closed my eyes. I was sure I was going to throw up, but I didn't. A picture formed in my head of Linda. She was lying on her back under some big dude I didn't know. He was between her legs, holding her ankles in the air and pounding hell out of her. I tried to stand up. I couldn't. I know I was in shock.

Thankfully, this state of total helplessness didn't last long. My mind restarted, and I could manage elementary thought. "My wife of twenty years, the center of my universe, the mother of my children, the only woman I have ever loved just told me she wanted to sleep with someone else. Suicide is an option. No, it's not. I could kill that big dude, I've killed men before. Not yet; need more intel. Why would she want to do that? I'll have to ask her sometime."

I didn't know I could hurt this much. I have seen some horrible things in my life, but I have never experienced this kind of emotional shock and pain. I hurt all over. I wanted to cry. I didn't. I pushed back the pain and felt an anger start to well up in me. Anger is good. Anger helps hold you together in combat.

My eyes opened. There was a woman sitting in the grass and leaning on the other side of the patio rail. I didn't know who she was. She was sobbing. She was in terrible pain like me. My mind went to work, "Maintain control Luke, this is not combat. Maybe her husband is fucking around. No, I am her husband. I couldn't do that. She didn't do that, she said that nothing bad happened. She didn't let it happen."

"Good girl," I thought. That was my first glimmer of hope.

A voice in my head said, "She needs you to hold her Luke. She was begging for help. She is your wife. She is scared and she is hurting."

I tried to stand and found I was wobbly but on my feet. I walked around the rail and came to stand beside her. She held her breath stifling her sobs and looked up at me. I was steadier by then. I reached down, took her hand and tugged her to her feet. I kissed her on the forehead and pulled her close. She nuzzled into my chest and started raggedly breathing again. She was still sniffling, but the sobbing had stopped.

I sang softly into her ear like Brian Wilson, "Don't worry Baby, everything will turn out all right." I then whispered, "I will always love you." She seemed to settle down quickly.

She finally asked, "Luke, are you angry with me? Nothing bad happened."

"Yes," I answered, "I am angry, because you didn't bring this to me before it got so out of hand. I know nothing bad happened. You told me you were strong and wouldn't let it happen. I will decide what to do like you asked, but you are going to have to give me a lot more information, so I can make the right decision."

O Luke," she said, "I don't want to talk about it anymore right now. Do I have to?"

I said, "No Baby, you don't have to tell me anything more. I'll just go kill the bastard, problem solved. Who is he?" She thought I was serious. I thought I might have been serious.

"No Luke, You can't do that," She replied. "Then I would lose you too. They would put you in jail." She didn't tell me who he was.

I told her, "I'm going to walk around the lake and let myself settle down. I want you to have a glass of wine to calm yourself. When I get back, we are going to hash this out calmly. No crying, no screaming. If I get angry, I will hide it from you. If you get angry you can take a cool down break, but understand this, you will answer my questions."

"No," she said, "don't go; stay here. You can settle down in your chair. I can sit in your lap, so you can hold me. I feel safe, when you hold me."

I walked her into the den and sat down in my recliner. She curled up in my lap, laying her head in the hollow of my shoulder. "This is better," she said. She was quiet for a couple minutes. "I'm sorry, Luke," she said. "It slipped out. I should have found a better way to tell you."

I didn't answer her.

In a minute she asked, "Do you remember when you took me home, after we made love the first time?"

I said, "Yeah, we had been gone for three days. I got you home about three in afternoon and was afraid I was going to run into Gus." Gus was the mean old bastard that was her uncle. I was scared to death of him. She lived with him her last two years of high school and up until the time we were married. He had told me on several occasions that if I brought her home pregnant, he would kill me. I believed he meant it. He was 101st Airborne from World War II. He was in his prime and mean as a snake. He was also the only man on this planet that loved this little girl as much as I love her now. In a different way of course. We had a small reception after our wedding. Gus came up to me while I was standing in a crowd of people, handed me a drink and said, "OK boy, you can knock her up now," and walked off. Nobody said a thing. I made it happen a couple months later.

She said, "Yeah, You drove up in front of the house, left the car running, helped me carry my suitcases to the porch, gave me a quick kiss and got the hell off the property. I knew you didn't want to talk to Uncle Gus. I went in the house, and he was in his recliner, watching a football game. I curled up with him, just like I am with you now. I was pretty much spent. We hadn't slept much in the last three days. I always felt so safe when he held me. I went to sleep and slept for four hours. I hadn't done that since I was eight years old. He never moved a muscle. He was afraid he would wake me. I didn't tell him what we had done, but I'm sure he knew. You are so lucky that he liked you. If he hadn't he would have ran you off, like all the other guys that came sniffin' round me, while you were overseas. That was the way he put it. I was lucky too. He helped me save myself for you."

"Several years later Linda," I told her. "He told me he picked me for you, because I was strong enough to handle you. The old fart actually took credit for our marriage. He said you would be a problem sooner or later. I think he might have been right."

I said to myself, "I hope I can be strong enough."

She said, "I'm so lucky. I have you and Uncle Gus. Two very powerful men that both love me."

We let this kind of talk go on for over an hour. We were reminding each other of good times in our life together. We were both relaxing. There was a lull in the conversation, and her breathing became shallow and regular. She was asleep. The morning's events had worn her out. I didn't move a muscle. I just held her. I didn't want to wake her.

I snapped awake. She was gone. I got up and moved into the kitchen. She was sitting at the island with a glass of wine in her hand.

She looked up at me and gestured with her glass. "You told me to," she said.

"It's five o'clock somewhere," I said. That's how we always justify having an early drink. Neither of us abused alcohol, but when an early drink was in order we would have it.

The washing machine was running in the utility room. I asked her what she was washing. She told me it was our sheets. She said our housekeeper, Maria, would be in the next day and she didn't want her to see them. They were a mess and would tell a story. Maria and her husband Juan, both work for us. Juan is our ranch foreman. They are both Texas born Hispanics. They have six kids. All of them live in a house that we own on the far edge of our property. They were friends long before they became employees. Our kids played ball together in school.

Linda's purse was on the island in front of me. I opened it and pulled out the baggie with her panties inside. I held it up and looked at them. They were a very small, yellow thong, matching the yellow in the dress she wore the day before. They had been sealed in the baggie and were obviously still saturated in nookie juice. I said, "You might want to wash these too." I opened the baggie, and sniffed of them. It was a familiar scent.

A look of concern came over her face. She didn't say anything. She just took them from me and pulled them out of the baggie. She put the baggie in a trashcan and threw the thong into the washing machine.

While she was doing that I made myself a drink. When she walked back into the kitchen I said, "OK, Little One, who is he?

She didn't answer me. She said, "Let me make us a sandwich. After we eat we can walk around the lake, and I will tell you the whole story. I think I can do it now."

I walked around the island and kissed her on the forehead. I said, "Okay, but I'm not going to let you put it off any longer."

We ate at the island and walked down to the lake.

I asked, "Who is he?"

She paused a second then replied, "I'm afraid to tell you. You might hurt each other. You said you would kill him.

I said, "Linda, sooner or later I'm going to find out who this guy is. I promise I won't kill him today, but I am going to hold that option in reserve. You might as well tell me now."

"Luke," she said, "it wouldn't be fair for you to hurt him. He is a good man. He has never forced anything on me. He has been a perfect gentleman and totally discreet. No one at the office knows anything. This has mostly been my fault not his. I could have stopped this any time, but I didn't."

I replied, "That's the first piece of information you have given me. He works at your office. There can't be too many suspects there. I'll just go down there tomorrow and look around. If I am there and you aren't, he'll give himself away. I'll have a talk with him and that will be the end of it. By the way, you aren't going back to work until this is over. I don't want you talking to him on the phone or any other way. Let me be clear, no communication."

"Please don't go to my office," She pleaded. "The two of you will fight, and everyone will know." As far as communication, he will call me if I don't go to work."

When he calls, tell him you can't talk, and he shouldn't call again." I instructed her. "You can tell him, you will call him as soon as you can."

"Who is he, Linda?" I demanded.

"It's Ben Johnstone," she answered after a pause. "Please don't do anything until you know the whole story. You'll see it's mostly my fault. If you hurt him that would be my fault to."

"Okay," I said. "He is temporarily off the hook. Start talking; I want the whole story. Do I know him?"

She answered, "You've met him twice that I know of. Once at my company Christmas Party Last year and then again at the Memorial Day Bar-B-Q, we had here at the ranch, this year."

"I bet I do remember him, from the Bar-B-Q," I said. "I'd bet, he was that well-built, young, dark-haired guy that was showing off for you at the pool."

"Yeah, that was him," she replied. "I didn't think you noticed.

"I also remember him dancing with you at both parties. I noticed that too," I said. "Were you two fooling around then?"

She answered, "He had been working at the agency for two or three months before the Christmas party. We weren't working closely together. I was just working two or three short days a week and spent most of my time in the field with clients. I did catch him looking at me a couple times, but as you know, most men look at me. Honestly, I had checked him out to. He is so beautiful. I think all the other women were looking too. I don't think he knew who I was or even that I worked for the company. I think we had our first flirt at the Christmas party. It was just an innocent flirt, like I give to a bunch of men that are nice to me. You know about that. You see me do it all the time. I think you like it, because you know they know you always get to take me home. We had become friends by Memorial Day. We were flirting in private more by then, but it was still innocent. It may have escalated a little that night."

"Okay, it started at the Christmas party. Tell me about it," I said.

She asked me, "Luke, do you want the short version or all the gory details."

I said, "I want the truth Linda. I mean the whole truth. I want enough detail to get a completely accurate idea of what is going on. Don't skip over anything and don't try to hide anything. When I've heard enough detail, I will tell you."

"Do you want me to use bad words?" She asked.

"Use the words good or bad that hold the most truth," I told her. "You don't know any words I haven't heard before. The words won't offend me, the content might. I love you now, and I will love you when this is over, but you must tell me the whole truth. I need that, so I can know what we have to do."

If you were close friends with Linda for twenty years, you would probably never hear her say a dirty word. She only uses them during sex or when talking about sex. Up until now that has only been with me, I hope. The sex talk has always been a private way to express intimate feelings between us. In public her speech reflects a Southern lady. She is the same way in her dress. She will dress like a slut for me if she thinks it will enhance our love-making. In public she dresses sexy sometimes, but never trashy. Her dress in public always presents the look of a lady.

"Luke," she said. "You understand that I am attracted to this young man to the point I want to have sex with him. I think he is a good friend. He wants me in his bed, and I want to be there with him."

The knot started forming in my gut again. I hid it from her. "Yes," I answered, "I heard you when you said you still wanted to sleep with him after we had just completed a night of the best sex I have to offer you. I also understand that you were really turned on at the office yesterday. Your wet panties showed that. You also told me that you were strong and didn't let it happen. I believe that. Further you brought the problem home to me and tried to make it go away by screwing my brains out. That didn't work.

So far you have done nothing wrong except letting this thing grow out of proportion, before you brought it to me. You would not be a woman, if you were not attracted to a strong, virile, handsome, young man. Especially at your age; you are thirty-eight in the prime of your sex drive. The hormones in your body are surging more than they ever have. I know you want this young man. It is a shock to me. I am very jealous. I'm upset about it, and I don't want it to go any further. I don't like the situation, but I do understand it. Answer me this. Do you love this young man?"

"Oh no Luke," she said. "I love you with my heart and soul. I don't really understand what I'm feeling, but it is not love. I don't want to give him that. I just want to go to his bed. I think it must be just pure animal lust. He is so beautiful. He has been so good to me, and he is so much fun to be around. My life seems to have a little more spark since I met him. I like him very much. I don't love him. I'm not going to run away with him."

"Good," I said. "If you truly love me, but not him I will win this fight. Young bulls have been challenging old bulls for millions of years. They don't win all the time."

"All right," she said. "Let's sit at the picnic table for a while, I want to get this over with now. I knew you would help me, Luke. I will always love you."

We sat at the table, and she looked out over the lake. "Look," she said, "the ducks are still together."

I said, "Didn't you know Linda, they are like me and you. They are mated for life, they love each other, and they will always be together."

She smiled. That was the first time since early this morning.

"I'm going to tell you the whole story now," she said. "If you have a question, stop me and I will answer it. If it is more than you want to hear, tell me, I will stop. Otherwise, just let me talk until I am finished. It's time for this to be over. I am trying hard Luke, but I hurt inside. I don't think I can go on much longer. Please don't hate me when I'm done. I feel so guilty."

"I could never hate you Little One," I told her. "Get it over with. Remember, nothing bad has happened, and you are strong."

She started her narrative. "Let me start with the, Christmas party. I had some wine, but that is not an excuse. I was not drunk. My inhibitions might have been lowered some, and I was having a good time. One of the other girls and I were sitting at a table having some girl talk. She pointed Ben out across the room, and said that he could eat crackers in her bed any time. I laughed. In a few minutes she told me that that good-looking son of a bitch was coming to ask me to dance. I asked how she knew. She said, "Shit girl, none of the rest of us have a chance when you're in the room." I laughed at that too.

He walked right up to me, flashed that awesome smile of his and asked me if I would like to dance. I said, "Yes, thank you." He took my hand, tugged me to my feet and we walked to the dance floor. It was a slow song, and he took me into his arms but was very proper. I could sense great strength in his body, but he didn't hold me too tight or draw me in too close. He was a wonderful dancer. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. He had a joyful banter and displayed confidence, explaining to me why he asked me to dance.

He said I was the prettiest girl at the party. He obviously didn't know how old I was. He talked about seeing me at the office and wondering who I was. He said he didn't ask anyone, because he wanted to ask me out and didn't want anyone there to know. I told him I appreciated the attention and had thoroughly enjoyed the dance. Then I told him I was married and showed him my ring.

He said, "Oh well, I should have known the most beautiful woman here wouldn't be single." He said he was happy that he at least got to dance with me. Just before the dance was over, he twirled me around. When he brought me back into his arms, I felt his erection brush against my belly. It was magnificent. It felt like iron. An electric shock wave shot through my body. It was a total accident. In fact he was trying hard to hide it from me. That was why he wasn't pulling me in close. I pretended that I hadn't felt it, but my panties became damp.

Most men get an erection when they hold me and dance slowly. I think it is totally involuntary and I'm not offended by it, unless of course, they become vulgar. Actually it is quite complementary. How would I feel if it didn't happen?

He deposited me back at the table and helped with my chair. He expressed his disappointment that I wasn't available. He actually bowed the slightest bit and said, "Thank you Ma'am, for a wonderful experience. He turned and walked away. Two or three songs later I saw him dancing with one of the other women. A butterfly fluttered in my stomach. I think I was jealous.

I kept hoping that he would ask me to dance again. The night wore on, and he never approached me. I wanted to find him and ask him, but I decided that would seem too brazen. I had better leave well enough alone.

The last dance like always was for you my darling Luke. You got hard. I danced close, and rubbed myself against your prick. It was so nice.

We got home, and I was still thinking about him. We made love, and I know you thought I was insatiable that night. I was turned on a little by him, but the actual sex was all you and me. It was so good, I didn't even think of him again. I think something at the party must have turned you on a little too."

"I remember that night Linda," I said. "I remember seeing you dance with him. All I saw was my wife enjoying herself."