Wife Maes Me Happy

Patricia and I were only married about two years. The six months or so before we got married and about the first nine months we were married were great times. Then things came crashing down, so to speak and we weren't together for very long after that.

But that stretch where we were really good friends was awesome.

She was eight years my junior - her nickname for me was "old man." We had met while I was in college and I thought she was the love of my life. Well, I've been wrong about other things as well.

Saturdays were often hectic days. We both worked and we both had a pretty normal schedule with Saturday and Sunday off. Shopping trips, grocery runs, laundry (we had to go to a laundromat), etc., all had to be crammed typically into Saturday. Then, on Sunday, until her mom died, we had to drive about 50 miles south to spend some time with her mother and stepfather.

One Saturday morning, not too long after we were married, Patricia announced a change of plans for Saturday. We had just finished breakfast, cleaned up the dishes and Patricia started drawing the blinds and drapes. I was a little perplexed.

I'm somewhat of an exhibitionist. I've streaked the beach (okay, it was the middle of the night) stark naked, I've fucked on the beach (okay, that's was the middle of the night as well) and I once got a blow-job at the top of a pool-slide. Okay, okay, okay. That also was in the middle of the night. Now that I think of it, all the above was that same night! Oh, times were fun then!

But, at any rate, I really enjoy being naked, particularly if it's likely that there's going to be any sex along with it. Patricia, not so much. Sometimes, away from work and mostly at home, she would go bra-less. Her breasts were not real big, but the nipples were perfect and her overall size made for a nice "presentation." Seeing her bra-less could quickly generate a hard-on.

So, when Patricia proceeded to move around the apartment, pulling drapes and closing the blinds, I thought it was pretty unusual that we were going to have sex first thing in the morning. Turns out, we weren't - sort of.

"Here's the rules for the day," she said. "You do everything and anything you want to do, but (1) you have to stay in the apartment; (2) you can't wear anything; (3) I get to play with you but you have to keep your hands off of me and (4) you have to keep your hands off your dick. Only I get to touch your dick." She smiled and moved closer. Her hand went to my crotch. She squeezed gently. "You like it better when I call it your cock, don't you?" she asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, pulled my t-shirt over my head, slipped my shorts off and presto, I was naked.

"No arguments, no further rules clarification?" she asked.

"No. What brought this on?"

She smiled. "I'm adhering to your philosophy about making each other happy. Last Sunday you made me happy." She grinned wider. "Very happy."

"You got some a few days ago, so you're probably horny again already. I want you to be horny all day. You're a lot more lovey-dovey when you're horny."

She put her hand around my dick. "And I'll be able to see your," she paused, "cock," another pause, "all day and know you're horny."

Sure enough, my dick sprang into action. Patricia just shook her head, then went to her knees and took me in her mouth. She sucked almost all of me into her mouth, then back out and repeated that two or three times. My dick wasn't standing straight up, but it was close!

Patricia disappeared into the hallway and returned with the laundry basket. "I'm going to the laundromat. Don't play with yourself while I'm gone!" she interjected.

She kissed me and out the door she went.

I wasn't sure what all I could really do naked, so I just started out normally. I grabbed some cleaning cloths and the Soft Scrub and proceeded to clean the bathroom.

Just a few minutes passed and I was on my knees, scrubbing the bathtub. I thought I heard the apartment door close, stopped and cocked an ear. Patricia suddenly appeared in the bathroom doorway, saw me on my knees cleaning the tub and kneeled down next to me.

Her hand went to my dick. She stroked it gently a couple of times, then fondled my balls. My dick came yet again to attention. There was a small bubble of pre-cum on the very tip. She reached out with her fingers and wiped across the end of my dick, transferring the pre-cum to her fingertips. She licked it off her fingers and smiled. "Maybe when I let you come tonight I'll let you shoot off in my mouth," she said softly.

She had tried that once before. I thought she was going to be sick. We had spent some time in bed one morning and apparently she was on her period. She took pity on me and was giving me a hand-job. When my balls started tightening up and my dick reached maximum hardness, signaling that I was about to come, she quickly bent over and took me in her mouth. She got about two good spurts, then sat up and held my dick while the rest of the cum oozed out. Then she got quickly off the bed and ran into the bathroom. I could hear her rinsing out her mouth. When she came back, she had a wet washrag and used it to wipe the rest of the cum off my dick. That had been the only time I could think of that she had tried to let me come in her mouth. I had never tasted cum, but I guess I could sympathize with her. A lot of women (and maybe a lot of men, who knows?) probably thought it was just too gross.

But the very thought of coming in her mouth was appealing enough to keep my mind working overtime for a good chunk of the day. And that kept me hard for a long time!

"You're back pretty early. Was the place full?" I asked her, referring to the laundromat.

She grinned. "I figured I had better things to do," she said. "So I left them for the laundromat."

Most of the time we felt we couldn't justify the expense of having the laundromat employees do our laundry. But since she came straight back to the apartment and was willing - at least on this day - to pay them to do it, it certainly seemed like she was intending to make it a fun day!

It partly felt funny. For the rest of the morning I wandered around the apartment naked. Every few minutes or so she would grab my dick and either stroke it or suck it a little bit. There seemed to be very few times when I wasn't hard. The thought of the whole thing was a real turn-on. I don't think I have ever been naked for so long, at least not while awake!

Lunch was weird. Patricia made some soup and egg-salad sandwiches. She told me lunch was ready. I was on the living room couch and I kind of hesitated. It just seemed downright strange to come to the kitchen table to eat - naked! Then she made it even more weird.

I pulled out my chair and sat down. Before I could slide my chair up to the table, she knelt by the chair and took me into her mouth for a couple of strokes. Then she stood up, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and turned to her own chair. I think through the majority of lunch we were both giggling.

After lunch - I did the dishes and got several dick sucks in the process - I went back to the couch and turned on the TV. As I tuned the TV to a baseball game, Patricia sat down on the couch beside me. She reached out and snared my dick in her hand and stroked me a couple of times. Then she stopped and looked at me. "You'll tell me if I get you too close won't you? I know sometimes you get too close to be able to stop."

I grinned. "Too much like that old dirty joke," I said. She frowned.

"What are the world's three biggest lies?" I asked. "Lie number one is 'the check is in the mail.' Lie number two is 'I'll get on it first thing in the morning.' And lie number three is 'I promise I won't shoot off in your mouth.'"

She slapped me playfully on the shoulder. Then I said, "Besides, you don't even like baseball."

She reached below my dick and cupped my balls. "I've got my own ball game to keep me company," she smiled.

We sat there on the couch for a while watching the baseball game. I honestly can't tell you who was playing, what the score was, what the commercials were. I think I spent the bulk of the time concentrating on both how strange this was and how much fun it was at the same time. And the whole time my dick was leaking like a sieve. There was literally a small slick of pre-cum on the couch between my legs. Patricia noticed it.

"Gee, I never thought about the fact that you'd drip cum all over the place!"

"Hey! This was your idea!" I responded.

"Maybe you should get a towel to sit on," she said. I got up from the couch and headed for the linen closet. Patricia stopped me. "Stroke yourself," she said. I obliged.

"What is it guy's call it when they masturbate?" she asked.

I thought about it for a moment. "Well, the first term I ever heard was 'jacking off'. There's also 'jerking off.' Another real common one when I was a teenager was 'beatin' your meat'. I've also heard 'flonging your dong', but I never liked that one. I read one once where it was referred to as 'beating the bishop' and I think I've heard 'choking the snake.' I'm not sure, but 'spanking the monkey' I think means masturbating as well." Then I added, "'playing with yourself' seems much too obvious." Then I remembered a bible quote. "There's something in the bible about 'Onan spilled his seed upon the ground.' I think that's where masturbation became referred to as Onanism."

Patricia shook her head as I retrieved a towel. "How many different ways can you do it? She asked. "Jack off."

"There's an old joke about a guy who was such a good jack-off artist that he could switch hands and gain a stroke! Realistically, only four ways come to mind. Well, maybe five."

I made a fist and showed her a stroking motion in one direction, then rotated my fist 180-degrees, stroking what most guys refer to as overhand. Then I switched from my right hand to my left hand and did the same thing. She just shook her head.

"When I was in the seventh grade, I was in the junior band, playing trumpet. I sat next to a guy named Paul. One day the band director was working with another group of the band and Paul and I were basically sitting there with nothing to do. I shoved my trumpet, bell-end down, between my legs. Then I would push the mouthpiece-end of the trumpet away from me. I did this in a back-and-forth motion a few times. Each time I did it, it would raise my hips up off the chair. Paul elbowed me and said 'quit it! You look like you're doin' it!'"

"Well, in those days, 'doin' it' equated with fucking. And, up to that point, I had never thought about it. I certainly didn't know much about sex up to that point. I was 12 years old and had not yet discovered masturbation or wet dreams."

Patricia just shook her head.

"Well, with Paul's comment, I got to thinking about it. Now keep in mind, even though I had not yet started jacking off, I got hard-ons all the time. It just never dawned on me what to do with it! It felt good and it felt really good to touch it, but I never stroked it. At least not to the point where I shot off."

"So, that night, lying in bed, I got a hard-on. A very common event at that time." I grinned. "Just think. I possibly wasted a couple of years of puberty cuz I didn't know how to beat off!"

"Anyway, I turned over onto my stomach and started making the same kind of motion. Obviously my hips weren't going up and down so much as back and forth. Regardless, the stimulation to my dick was pretty much the same. After a few minutes, I suddenly has this amazingly nice feeling, followed pretty quickly by the discovery of all this slimy crap that came out of my dick!"

"So, for the next year or so, anytime I masturbated (not yet knowing how to jack off!) I had to lay down on something - a couch, the floor, the bed - and make the same motion as if I were fucking someone. Boy was it addictive!"

"That following summer we were living in Gainesville. I had a cousin who lived up there that same summer. He was staying with his sister and her husband. His sister was about 10 years older than we were and apparently had quite the figure. Plus, she and her husband were apparently very sexually active. My cousin spied on them several times and would pass on to me what he saw. Made us both horny as hell. He hadn't discovered jacking off either, so I showed him what I did. I remember one time at his house where we each did it three times in a row."

"Sometime a few months after that summer I accidentally came across a friend of mine jacking off. There was a little patch of woods near where I used to live and part of it was a rather popular jack-off spot, as I discovered later. But I saw my friend in there late one afternoon. I couldn't figure out what he was actually doing until he came. When he shot off, it became obvious what he had been doing. Trust me, I think I would have been the laughing stock of my friends if they had known then that I didn't know how to jack off!"

I used the corner of the towel to wipe the pre-cum off the vinyl of the couch. Patricia laughed. "You're so smart. I can't believe you didn't know how to jack off."

"Well, in my defense, I was probably more naïve than stupid. Besides, I was a terrible student in high school. Most of the adults who knew me didn't think I was applying myself. Half the time, particularly with math, I didn't really know what was going on. I think if I didn't have a good memory I would probably never have passed anything in Algebra!"

"People who knew me in college just assumed teachers loved me in high school because I was so smart. If they only knew!"

As soon as I had the towel laid out on the couch and sat back down, Patricia's hand went back to my dick. Every once in a while she would stroke it, but mostly she just held it. I teased her once about it and she jokingly claimed she now owned it.

Sometime around 3 PM I told her she'd better let go. Maintaining such a state of arousal for so long a period was getting somewhat dangerous. I wanted to shoot off, but I wanted to keep playing her game. She reluctantly let go of my dick.

About half an hour later, she had another idea.

"Lay down on your back with your head in my lap," she said.

I turned around on the couch and complied with her request. I could no longer see the TV, but I certainly wasn't worried about that at the moment! She started gently tweaking my nipples. One of my favorites was to have her tweak both of them at the same time. Just pinching a single nipple sort of felt good, but it wasn't the same. By tweaking/pinching both of them at the same time, it was like a hot-line to my dick.

If I was flaccid and someone started playing with my nipples like that, it was virtually an instant hard-on. Over the years my sexual partners and I have talked about the possibility of playing with my nipples until the stimulation became enough for me to have an orgasm. But it's never happened.

After about half an hour of that, I felt like either my nipples were getting sore or the hot-line to my dick was not quite the right message. I was genuinely afraid she might make me cum accidentally. I told her that.

"Well," she said. "Let's modify the rules just a little bit. I'd like to go to the movie tonight and I don't want to keep you in agony for that long. Get up."

I sat up on the couch and she stood up. "Lay back down," she said.

"Can I offer you some advice?" I asked. Her eyebrows went up.

"If you let me shoot off in your mouth" - just saying it put me in danger of shooting off! - "don't swallow it. Just let it accumulate in your mouth. Then, either when I stop or you decide you can't take it any longer you can go spit it out or, after you have it all, you can just open your mouth and let all the cum drip onto my dick. That stuff is more slippery than saliva. It'll feel real gooey, but it'll feel good to me. If you can stand it."

"Why do guys like to come in your mouth?" Patricia asked.

"Well, unfortunately, it's probably because it's the genuine nasty, in capital letters. You're going to put your mouth where he goes to the bathroom and stuff's going to come out of it that tastes bad. But, from a man's perspective, it's probably the most satisfying sexual thing there is."

"When a man has intercourse, he essentially has full feeling and full control over what's going on. There aren't really any surprises. When you actually start to come, there's really only two choices: slow down the stroking and make it last a little longer or go fast and it's over too soon."

"By contrast, a blow-job has the element of surprise. From a technical perspective, so does a hand-job. The man receiving either one is absolutely not in control. The woman is. In a blow-job, the sensation is not controlled by the receiver, but by the giver. The head of my dick is so sensitive that during an orgasm, I can hardly stand to have it touched. When I jack off, it's hard to get the best sensation because I tend to protect myself from rubbing too fiercely on the head of my dick. It's just so sensitive. But, at the end of a blow-job, I have no control. It's essentially an explosive orgasm. The ecstasy of the action is unbelievable."

Then I added. "You know how it feels when I eat you and even when you start coming I refuse to slow down. I just keep licking away as hard as I can and sometimes you actually have to push me away?"

"That's pretty much what a blow-job feels like for the receiver. I don't say man or woman because a man sucking another man creates the same kind of feeling a woman produces. I've heard arguments that a man can give a better blow-job than a woman because he knows better what another man likes. I can't vouch for that myself as I've never blown anybody and no man has ever sucked my dick."

"But, the bottom line is that the sensation is like nothing else I've ever experienced. It literally is one of those situations where you're so engrossed in the enjoyment of it that the world could end and you might never notice."

I shrugged my shoulders and she reached for my dick. "I'll try, but I can't promise anything."

I grinned at her. "Even if you can't do it, I promise I won't call you a cocksucker!" She laughed and leaned forward, taking me in her mouth.

"Whatever," I added. "When I start coming, please don't go fast. Slow is preferable if you can stand it. I'm so keyed up I think my dick is going to explode."

She uttered what sounded like a muffled "ummmm hmmmm" and continued licking.

Her tongue swirled around the head briefly, then she took her mouth off me and licked up one side and down the other. She continued licking me up and down and cupped my balls in her hand. Her mouth went back over the crown and she took my cock all the way to the root. I think that was the first time she got the entire thing in her mouth. I wasn't all that big, maybe right at six inches in the best of circumstances, and she had all of that in her mouth. I was amazed that she didn't gag.

She came slowly up my dick with her hand gripping me near the base. Then she swirled and licked like before. I could feel the warning signs - the tingling in my thighs was almost electric. I started to warn her that I was going to come, but I thought maybe I had earned what I wanted.

She was licking in the downward direction when my cock fired. A stream of cock juice shot up what looked like a foot and then I felt the actual pulse from my cock. She suddenly realized I had started coming and her mouth went back over my dick just in time to catch the next blast.

My orgasm was almost explosive. Cum just came flowing out of my dick like it was a firehose. Patricia left her mouth pretty much right on the crown and I could feel her tongue swirling on it even as I was shooting yet another glob of cum into her warm mouth.

With her hand firmly holding the base of my dick, she opened her mouth wide. A huge glob of cum, mixed with saliva dripped onto my dick. It was deliciously nasty. With the super-slippery mix coating my dick, her hand felt incredibly smooth as she stroked upward and I saw yet another small spurt of cum ooze out of my piss-slit.