This is a continuation of the true story of what happened to me soon after I was married. I'm trying to get some of this off my chest because I clearly cannot talk to friends or family about this. I really enjoy reading your comments even if they are negative. All opinions on the subject of the story or my writing style are welcome. Thank you for taking the time to follow along.
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I picked up the phone and called Jessica at her sister's house in San Diego. I had more ammunition that I wanted from my talk with Chris.
"Hello, baby," she said when she answered the phone.
"Don't hello baby me! I just talked to Chris and he told me about all the stuff you did behind my back!" I yelled.
"Like what?" she asked.
"Like the time you made out with Josh at that Halloween party, and the time you kept flashing your tits at Chris in the pool when we went swimming at night," I said.
"I thought he might tell you about that. I didn't think those were important enough to tell you about. I wanted to tell you about the sex and get that out in the open but I didn't think those things were worthy of our emotions," she confessed.
"I told you I wanted to know everything! I think everyone knows about you going shit behind my back. I seem to be the last to know. Do you know they call you glitter girl?" I asked.
"Glitter girl! Why?" she asked.
"Supposedly, you had glitter all over your tits and Josh had glitter on his face the next day after you made out with him," I explained.
"Ohhh," she said sheepishly.
"Ohhh? So did that really happen?" I asked.
"Yes, but we didn't have sex. All that happened was that Josh took off my shirt and bra and...," she trailed off.
"And what?" I demanded.
"Well, we didn't even really kiss. He just played with my boobs," she said.
"What does that mean? Did it tit fuck you?" I asked.
"No! He just grabbed them and put his mouth on them," she said.
I was imagining her hanging those juicy tits in his face and letting him suck on them, squeeze them, and paw at them.
"He really didn't pay much attention to me. He just wanted my tits," she continued. "I guess he was a boob man like you. I felt kind of used afterward. We definitely weren't dating at the time. Seriously!"
"You know how I feel about your boobs! How could you just give something so awesome away?" I asked.
"I don't know, it just happened. We got caught up in the fun of the party and he was looking at my cleavage all night. I guess I knew he wanted them and I wanted to feel needed, so we hooked up," she said very frankly.
"Well, I didn't think you would do something like that with one of my old roommates! It seems like no one has any morals anymore," I said. "I'm not even going to call Josh about this. I don't ever want to talk to him again in my entire life. He's dead to me. What about you flashing your tits at Chris while we were swimming?"
"We had all been drinking and I was having fun with Chris. I knew I was going inside after swimming and going to fuck you. I know I shouldn't have done it. It was driving Chris crazy and it made me feel wanted to know that he wanted to see my boobs," she said.
"I once again cannot believe that all this was going on and that you were and are capable of this," I said.
"I was capable of this, but not anymore. I was so insecure about myself and us that I made bad decisions in order to get attention and affirmation that I was wanted," she said. "You were always hot and cold with me throughout college. I never knew if you really, no shit, wanted me."
"That is a terrible excuse for the things you did," I replied.
"I know, but that is how immature girls handle insecurity," she said.
"Well, the lies keep piling up and I don't know how this will end for us," I said.
"Just keep and open mind until I get back home. I'll only be out here for a few more days and then we can figure all of this out. I've got some ideas of how we can mend this," she pleaded.
"You are killing me! I'm barely making it through the days," I complained.
"I'll show you that I'm sincere and how much I love you when I get home. You have to believe me," she said.
"We'll see. I got to go," I said.
"Bye", she said and we hung up.
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There were still a few more days left until Jessica came home from visiting her sister in San Diego. I wanted to have a clear path forward in my mind before she walked through our door and my mind went cloudy again. I knew in my heart that I could not trust her and I knew in my mind that I had been cheated on and lied to. I also knew in my soul that I have promised my life to her in front of God and my friends and family. The vows did have the "for better or worse" part in them. I figured we were dealing with the worse part right now. It was sooner than I expected because we had only been married for about two years.
She was still the girl of my dreams. I couldn't imagine finding a girl as amazing as she was, and I still knew deep down in my heart that she was truly sorry for what she had done. Was it immaturity or insecurity that drove her to Chris and the hook ups with those other guys? Maybe she didn't want to move forward with our relationship without knowing what it was like to be with another man. Maybe she wanted to try things out before she committed to me. Maybe I was a stick in the mud and she just wanted some fun. I could sort of understand that position. I am a serious and logical person. I certainly didn't want to get married right out of college. I wanted us to be our own people before we got attached for life.
When the time came that she returned from vacation, I knew that I would once again be overcome by her beauty and the knowledge that deep down she was a good person. Forgiveness is something that I had to figure out. I just didn't know how I would ever get there now that I didn't trust her. I know that sounds crazy to think she is a good person and to not trust her. I was confused and I wanted to hold on to something that I could reconcile in my mind, but also not leave myself open to be hurt and taken advantage of again.
Each day, I replayed in my mind the encounters I now knew about. I remembered the girls in college that would hook up with random guys at parties. It was all good and fun for them. Some of my friends were on the receiving end of these random hookups. I just didn't know that one of the random girls would be my girlfriend and future wife. I didn't know she had it in her to be that promiscuous.
Jessica had told me a story about one of her girl friends hooking up with a guy at a party. Her friend was super hot and I remember several times replaying the story in my mind as I beat off. Jessica's friend was in great shape. She was a runner. She had long straight blonde hair that came down to the middle of her back. She was a little bit skinny for me, but she was still hot. She had fairly large tits for such a slim frame. Anyway, she talked like she was a prude, but she changed when she had a few drinks. I guess she found guys with similar ideals because I heard that she hooked up with a guy that wouldn't take her panties off.
Jessica told me that her friend had gotten in bed with this guy and she had stripped down to her panties and he was completely naked. I guess Jessica thought it was hot because she told me the story in more detail than she usually would. She said that her friend was wearing a black thong and the guy pulled her ankles up over his shoulders and ground his cock against her pussy, on top of her panties until he came. According to Jessica, his cum got all over her friends panties and she didn't have anything else to change into, so she just put back on her skirt and left with the cum all over her crotch.
I thought that was so damn hot. I could image Jessica's friend's athletic legs up in the air, spread in a V, and I could imagine the thick, white ropes of cum covering the thin, black panties pulled tight over her pussy. I hope the guy got as hard as I did thinking about her walking back downstairs into the party with her crotch wet with his seed.
Now that I knew that Jessica had more than one encounter with a random hook up, I had to wonder if she had a similar experience, or if she was actually the girl with the some guys semen soaking into her panties? Maybe that story was a sideways confession that she told to see how I would react.
Before these revelations, I only knew of three times when any other guy had seen her in any state of undress. The first was when her younger brother had hid under her bed and watched her get dressed after coming out of the shower. She noticed him only after she went to get her shoes out from under the bed. Believe it or not, we were dating way back then. I know her brother saw the tight young body of an eighteen year old with large, natural tits and a fairly hairy bush. She didn't trim her snatch back then like she does now.
The second time was when we were on spring break. We were on the beach in Panama City. We had been drinking all day long and I was pretty gone. I was passed out on my towel in the sun and Jessica had gone into the surf with some people we met from LSU to play catch with a Nerf football. I heard this story later from Jessica.
She told me that they were playing catch and she hadn't noticed that her right boob had slipped out of her bikini top. She didn't know how long it was out, but she was also feeling the effects of the all day drinking fest so it could have been quite a while. She was pretty sure that everyone she was throwing the ball with had seen her breast hanging out while she played catch with them. She only noticed it when one of the girls on the beach came out into the surf and whispered to her that, "Your tit is hanging out and you are giving all the boys on the beach boners." She was so embarrassed that we didn't hang out with those guys the rest of the week. I bet those guys got some good wanks off that memory. It's like something from a college T&A flick where the girl is on the beach playing volley ball and her boobs fall out and she just lets them bounce around. I have to admit that I beat off to that image, too. I didn't know the guys from LSU, would never see them again, and she didn't do it on purpose, so it really didn't bother me. How could I be upset. It was a very, hot accident.
The last time someone saw Jessica partially dressed happened at my college apartment. We had a ton of friends in town for a football game that weekend. Jessica was sleeping over at my apartment the entire weekend. She was in my room changing, and one of our guests walked in on her changing her bra. From what Jessica told me, it was very awkward because he just stood there like a dear in the headlights while she quickly hooked her bra. It was one of those bras that opened in the front so she was able to quickly cover up, but I'm sure he got a full view of her magnificent tits. I couldn't help myself and I wanked off to that image more than once. I'm sure he still does till today, too. It was an accident, so I really couldn't be upset. She didn't plan it. His bag was in my room and she had forgotten to lock the door. Usually, no one came into my room except me.
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The night before she was to return home, she called in the evening.
"I told my sister everything about what is going on," she said.
"What? Why would you do that? It is humiliating," I replied.