Why Would She Hide This

Hello, first time for me, so if my writing is off the wall, or not to your liking its cool, to each their own I suppose. Married forever and all has been well except for the bedroom. Sex was like most couples, at least for me hot and frequent. I guess after 20 years things can become a little routine. Guessing its always best to change the names to protect the real people out there not from the truth. But from the few that might see fit to use information against us. A little about us, run of the mill if you will white couple. Susan is 5'2 and really cute for being over 50, Nice B cups and tiny little ass. She is petite and I love petite ladies always have. Susan has never been adventurous in the bedroom really. Blow jobs and swallowing was always really hot, very hard to last very long with a lady like Susan. Anal once but she did not like it much, so that was it on anal.

I have never been the guy to force my wife into anything I did not think she wanted to do or especially anything that would hurt or give her pain. Not to sound too mushy but I loved her then and love her now. Hurting any lady just is not in my vocabulary. My name is John for this story that's true except the names. I'm 5'8 losing my hair, which I always thought that it stinks, I mean once I had it, now its gone on top.. lol my weight is 180 now, have a bit of a belly not from beer, just eating good food I suppose and not exercising as much as I should. Good provider and still do my best to give her all I can without hurting the budget. I'd like to say I'm hung like a horse, but not at all, right at 7" ok 6.5 to be exact.

Funny how the mail ego does that to us, how many guys with a silly wish would not like to ad maybe an inch or two. We would make love, all was good, foreplay kissing, loving going down on her pussy was always my favorite, so sweet, so wet so yummy. She does not talk much at all when we are making out. And at times I would lick around and rim her tiny ass, she would not say it, but moans tell the tale. She loved it, sometimes I would hand her the vibe and she would cum really hard and cover my face with her juices, better than any steak I ever tasted. So life was good, sure as most a little mundane, less often, used to be a thing once a week. After 15 years I was cool with that, but also looked forward to the weekends. Same old same old maybe for a lot of us.

Then it changed, I am the guy that always wanted her to cum first, get all the pleasure I could give her and then I could feel like I did my job, satisfied my wife and then could let loose and cum my brains out. One day I was doing the deed and working hard for it, she had almost always cum when I went down on her, and after would again at one point or another with intercourse. So the sex was good, and later in the day I get the we need to talk... I hate to hear those words. It's like at a job and the big review is coming and you know it. Will they think highly of me or give me a hard time about my performance, or worse are they letting me go. You tell me what guy is cool with those words, (We need to talk.)

So we set down on the couch and she to be simple tells me she has never cum while I was having intercourse with her... She did when I went down on her but never while my cock was driving into her. So the first 15 years she faked it... WTF... in my mind... And ladies that is a mind fuck if ever there was one. I cannot even really say how shitty it made me feel inside. The fact that I could not was one thing and bad enough, the other she faked it the whole 15 years or so was a mind blower. What she married me because I could provide well. Ok maybe that part is over the top. Hell we talked about everything, our wants wishes, what we wanted out of life, how we seen ourselves in 30 years. Ok so faking it is that some kind of a trap for the guys, give them a big head about how well we are doing in the bedroom. Lets all face things directly, in the being its maybe a friendship, attraction of the opposite sex. Making out and how good we were together, thinking the same way about life and things in general. Isn't that how most of us have started out?

So after well over 20 years of marriage, feeling pretty low in that department of satisfying my wife in the bedroom and the fact of no matter what and how hard I tried, making her cum with my dick was not or ever going to happen. After what I think was over 6 months of this fact now brought to light. I set out on thoughts and ways to maybe make her cum wanting to try any and everything to make it happen. Ok ladies I hear some of you have not and can't cum that way, its cool, never the less it still mind fucked me to no end. After very slowly getting over the idea I was mislead for years upon years, I now wanted that for her more than anything I could ever want for her.

I am not the guy that wants another lady in my life, so not going to cheat to get something different because I want a lady to cum with me. Nor do I ever think of starting over. Screw that I love my wife to no end.

But in my mind, as fucked up as it had become, I still never stopped wanting her organism to happen during intercourse. So I thought of a million things, buying an extender thing, thinking I just was not big enough. That was a joke, it seemed so fake, so odd I guess for both of us, plus I could not feel a darn thing. Then I bought her all kinds of Dildos, from my size to massive cocks if you can understand to a point of 12 inches... Some of them pink, skin color, brown and yes black ones.

Then started talking dirty to her, typical things like you read on this site, like how would she like a nice huge cock fucking her, touching all the places I never could and Cumming her little ass off. Then it came to watching her getting fucked while I jacked off. And watching videos about cuckolds, ladies on ladies YUM! I just was trying my best to open her mind up to dirty thoughts, thinking that might help excite her to a point of getting that orgasm she says anyway she has never had with anyone. Wait then there was, she hid her not Cuming with me for 15 plus years, how hard would it be to just flat out lie about some guy she dated in college or even high school about how hard she did in fact cum all over some other guys cock. Ok so all of this and more has brought me a point that for me sucks to no end.

So now its masturbation for me, it seems she is just not into sex at all anymore. I hint at having sex often, but it seems there is no real interest really at all. She might smile when I say nice ass, or she looks hot. We don't have to be 20 years old to think about hot sex, kinky things and wanting to explode in each other's arms right?

I have been buying all kinds of sex night clothing, ear rings, chokers, after watching 50 shades, even bought one of those kits, handcuffs, soft whips, tie downs etc. Really hot night wear, open panties, see thru hot badydolls. Those garter belts with hose, G spot vibes just anything that might spark her interest, its not the money at all, I would throw out all of that stuff, videos, toys, props etc. If I could just get her into it again. And don't think I have not done the roses, flowers just because it was Monday, taking her out for lobster etc. Wine and dine, like I said from the beginning, I love her with all my heart. Heck there used to be sex after I bought her flowers. That does not stop me from buying them, but not getting any after either.

Before it was making her cum with my cock somehow, now just looking for some hot passion from my wife, not a lot to ask I don't think really. Masturbating has become the norm for me, watching videos jerking off. Reading dirty stories, and watching videos about most anything, some turn me on others not so much. I guess ladies at times watch other ladies masturbate and they like that. Over time seen guys jerking off, the jerking off was hot with all the cum, heck it was the same thing I was doing. But I sure as hell could not handle see any guys face when they did that YUCK!! What a turn off. So some of the videos that only showed the guys cock Cumming was not as bad. What the fuck you ask, well ask my wife, all I really want is sex with my lady. Sure I have thought about other ladies I could have sex with, but ladies want more than that, I am cool with that and understand. But I am married to a women I love and would never hurt for any reason. So thoughts will be just that and only that.

Then I came across she males, Cross dressers etc. holly shit, that should be illegal how nice some of them look... Ok I am an older guy and all, but makeup, hair or wig I suppose in some cases make them look as hot as many ladies I have seen in real life. Again WTF... Now that turned me on big time, not dressing up but seeing a cock getting jerked off with a face and tits, nice ones at that. So it was my new adventure when masturbating. By the way I could no where near pull off looking like a lady, I am a guy 100 percent. You cannot make a pinto look like a mustang no matter how you might try ya know.

Once while looking at one of those cross dressers jerking off, being all turned on and home alone at the time. I grabbed one pair of my wife's panties and slipped them on while I jerked watching. It did turn me on a bit, plus dam the slickness of them felt sexy against my cock. After years of jerking off to the CD's I bought a few pair at Wal-Mart of my own, thank god for self checkout...lol... now after finding that, I have bought I guess over the years 40 pair of ladies panties and some male panties on ebay. Have come up with the idea that my regular men's underwear slips down to much, mine did for a fact while out working in the yard, but used it for my excuse. Told my wife, and now have a full drawer of panties etc. Some she says looks good on me. Yes has come to a point in life where sex might happen once every 4 or 5 months with my wife. But what sucks is I am getting used to masturbating once in morning and then at night. We both have our own offices if you will. Even thought retired and living well we do not work. I am sure she thinks it odd, but to be direct I do not give a shit what she thinks about me wearing my panties. They make me feel sexy knowing they are under my jeans, or my night shorts I wear to bed. At times my junk moves around in the nylon ones and feels nice at times. So sex enters my brain and at times I can almost get hard wearing the dam things. Getting hard is not a bad thing for guys or getting horny at my age. If a guy says hey I don't like feeling getting hard in just walking around they are lying.

Then I heard of massaging the prostate, so I got one of those things, holly shit, don't know if I was doing it right but dam felt intense to say the least. So I tried one of the dildos I bought my wife, how the hell does anyone take a cock in the ass, yikes that shit hurt if you ask me. So I tried a little one that had a smooth round head but was small. Only moved it in a few inches and it felt like it was doing something to my prostate, suppose to be healthy to milk that sucker. Ok just keep thinking that way, bullshit it feels dam intense when they dildo is in my ass a little bit. Never was able to milk the thing, but feels pretty good.

So this is my sex life now, jerking off most times to videos sometimes the ladies, and ladies with ladies, but like the Cross dresser the most, makes me wonder what it might be like to suck one of the Cross dressers cock, I think I would like to swallow the hot cum from one of them, maybe or submit to one of them wearing my panties. With some of the faces and seeing how they dress, it would not take much for them to have their way with me. They look to much like the real thing to not think that sometimes

Pretty fucked up how things can change sometimes in life. So ladies if you don't cum, when your man is inside you, be upfront, life sucks when he finds out after years of loving you so much it hurts to know he cannot do it for you or never did. By the way it does not matter how many this is true for, I here you all loud and clear. Don't lie to us what else would you call it, when we all know the first time we lie to you about the dumbest things all hell breaks loose. You can try to have it both ways, but take it from a guy that would never in a million years thought of sucking cum out of a Cross dresser cock or even someone wearing panties and being feminine a little with just panties on, and wanting badly to feel the hot cum coat my throat, knowing for fact I made them cum, well at least while I am masturbating.

Drop a note, have you had anything like this happen in your life? Want to dog me its cool, go for it. But I love my wife till death do us part, all I ever really wanted was her.