This is a truly New Zealand story, with as much local content and as many idioms as I can think of. Most of them you will work out for yourself, but some I will explain.
My thanks to VMKC for her editing and I do appreciate her help.
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Kathy was tired. She was always tired. As a 40 year old stay at home mother of two she should not be this constantly tired. The kids, 9 year old Andrea and 11 year old Jack, were no problem, doing well at school, and moderately well at sport. Peter, her husband, was safe and happy in a secure job as a qualified mechanic for Masters Motors Ltd. The mortgage on their four bedroom home on a garden section was almost paid off, so why was she unhappy?
The kids had finished their homework and were watching something in the TV room. Dinner was well on the way so all should have been well in their world.
She heard Peter's truck pull into the drive, then his step on the verandah, and the drop of his boots at the door. He came into the kitchen and went straight to the fridge, grabbed a can of beer, and slapped her on the bottom.
"Hi wife. Dinner nearly ready? I'm starving!" and he took off into the TV room to join the kids.
Kathy finished preparing the meal and set it all on the table, then rang the little bell kept specially for the occasion. This had been a family tradition since the children were little, to call them back from outside. Sure enough, all hands came to the table and into their meal.
When he was finished, Peter stood up and said, "You kids help your mother with the dishes. The six o'clock news is starting on TV and I want to see it. Bring me in a coffee will you doll." And off he went back to the TV room.
Next day Kathy finished all the inside housework and went out to her beloved garden. It was a glorious spring morning and the growth was starting to show. The blossom trees were in full bloom and the kowhai tree was a picture of yellow flowers. Unfortunately, the grass was starting to grow too high, so Kathy went to the tool shed and pulled out the mower.
"I hope this stupid thing will go for me," she sighed.
Peter kept the two cars and the boat in top notch condition. They were his darling toys, but the mower was not of his interest.
Kathy checked the spark plug was in properly, the petrol was turned on, and the ignition was clear. Then she pulled the starter cord as hard as she could, and the mower went "glug" and stayed silent. She pulled again, and then a third time, nothing happened; it refused to start.
She was just about to kick the stupid machine when she heard a quiet voice behind her.
"Could you use some help there? Hi I'm John. My son David and I have just moved in next door. It looks to me as if some brute strength is needed here."
Kathy wiped her perspiring face with her hand and smiled gratefully.
"Oh thank you. It goes sometimes but I just don't have the knack today."
John put his foot on the top of the mower, pulled the starter cord, and the machine leapt into life and purred quietly.
"A man's touch," said John. "Now it is going I will run over the lawns for you. You go and take the weight off your feet for a while." And away he went with the mower.
Kathy went inside and put a pretty cloth on the table and pulled out two mugs. She was a very keen cook and always had the cake tins full, so she had a nice plate of cake to offer when she heard the mower stop.
John came in and sat at the kitchen table with her and was awestruck with the spread offered. They spent a happy hour chatting. It appeared John was a widower, worked from home as an IT designer, and had one son David who was 13. John said he was sure David would mow Kathy's lawns for her for a feed of cake. That sounded great to Kathy.
As it was Friday night, Peter was a bit late coming in after work as all the blokes had enjoyed a "Happy Hour" at work which was almost mandatory. They all knocked off an hour early but it was still acknowledged as the boss' time, so the beers came out and they mostly stayed on yarning for another hour. It made for good relationships in the workplace.
Peter's greeting, as he came in the door and went to the fridge for a beer, was slightly different this night.
"Hi Babe. Bill and I are going fishing tomorrow. Make us up some kai (food) to take will you? Make sure to put plenty of cake and biscuits in. Bill loves your cake. His wife Betty has a great pair of tits, and is a tiger in the sack, but she is a hopeless cook."
"Don't you think it is a bit early in the year to go fishing? I know it feels like Spring, and those awful equinoxial gales seem to be over, but it is still only early October. Two boats tipped over on the bar at the harbour entrance last weekend."
"Nah! We know how to handle a boat. We will be OK." With that he went off into the TV room to wait for dinner.
"Well," thought Kathy, "my tits obviously run second best, and I am not much in the sack, so my value is obviously as a supplier of food. Good job I am good for something."