Why I Have a Third Wife

I had written part 4 already, but after reading the comments, I decided to so a re-write and skip to the end of the story, to make the readers happy. This was originally going to be a 12 part story delving into the psychology of cheating behavior, and in Lisa's case, Multiple Personality Disorder. Maybe I will return to these parts later, but for the moment, in an effort to keep the readers happy, I will move on. For those of you who are looking for the happy ending, it doesn't happen. The best we can do is make our own happy ending

So, I will be jumping straight to the divorce, and recap the remaining years. This portion is 100% factual, so please understand that divorce rarely ends well for men. This is my real life so please be aware that negative comments are not appreciated. I have opened myself up in an attempt to heal from the past 30 years worth of wounds.

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I found myself sitting in the lobby of our county courthouse. We had been married for six years. Six long, hard, years. I struggled with my conscious about what I was about to do. I had always been raised to love and respect my wife. Divorce was always the very last option. I gulped, as I saw my lawyer pass through the hallway. She had been trying to work out a last minute agreement with Lisa's lawyer. So far, it has been unsuccessful.

I lost myself in thought as I thought about how I got here. A year and a half ago, we were living in Chicago. We had some struggles, in the beginning, but eventually we found our rhythm and found ourselves happily married. Our son was born, premature, but healthy, and became the center of our world. I loved them both with all my heart, but then, that fateful evening occurred.

I was working second shift as a low level engineer in a massive technology company. I pulled into the parking lot of our apartment building, and found a parking spot in the back. I got out, and shut the car door, I was approached by three men, asking for a smoke. I didn't smoke, and I said so. At this point, two of them grabbed me, slammed me against my car, and the third began to punch me.

Now let me tell a little about myself, for those who don't know me. I am 6 foot tall, and heavily muscled. Although I live in Chicago now, I grew up on an Indiana dairy farm. I spent my summers bailing hay, chopping wood, and shoveling manure. Another important point to make, as I was being punched, is a little about my step dad.

My parents divorced when I was three, and the man my mother was cheating on him with, immediately moved in. He was an amateur boxer, who had earned the chance to go pro. He had a huge reputation and was believed to be world champion material. Unfortunately, he was also an alcoholic and drug addict. Long story short, he failed a drug test, and was banned from fighting. He lost his shot, but vowed to stay in fighting condition and one day get his chance to return.

I grew up as his sparring partner. That might sound exciting, but in reality, it was just a nice way of saying that he got drunk every night and beat me. Of course, yes I learned how to fight too. But a young kid against a drunk adult, was never a fair fight. This came to a head, when I was in fourth grade. Another boy was trying to act cool, and decided to pick a fight with me. It ended with him going to the hospital and I was sent to the principal to get beat. The boy ended up with a broken jaw, several broken ribs, and a serious concussion. He had to stay in the hospital for several nights, for observation and possible brain damage. He did recover, but he never looked me in the eyes ever again.

Obviously this incident caused a lot of drama, and there was many repercussions directed towards me. Ultimately, it was determined that I needed to learn how to control my temper. I was enrolled in a local Karate class, where I learned not only how to fight, but also how "not" to fight. This training has persisted to the present day, where 41 years later, I own a school and currently teach.

So, back to this moment. I was shoved up against my car, held in place by two men, and a third punched me in the abs. As can be guessed, this didn't last long. I kicked the guy in front of me away, broke the grip of the two holding me, and I commenced to breaking them into pieces. Within moments, they were both on the ground bleeding and the third man, stood up, and reached into his jacket. He ran towards me, and I saw a glint of metal. I grabbed him and slammed his head through the glass window, in my car door. I walked back to my apartment and called the police.

Once they arrived, the three men were transported to the hospital, and I was taken to jail. My wife, Lisa, refused to pay my bail, so I had to sit there for two weeks, while the doctors, at the hospital, were busy trying to save one of the attacker's life. As it turned out, slamming his head through the window, caused the jagged glass to slice his throat. The police were waiting to determine if I would be charged with assault or manslaughter.

To my surprise, after the investigation was completed, and the attacker was stabilized, I was released with all charges dropped. I was soon informed that the attack was caused due to marital infidelity. The man who nearly died, had been having an affair with my wife, and when she refused to leave me, to be with him, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

I obviously immediately moved out and filed for divorce. Due to separation laws, in Illinois, we were required to be legally separated for six months prior to scheduling a court date. During this time, it was also recommended that we attended a marriage counselor to try to work through our issues, prior to destroying the life of our child.

I played the game, and over the six months of counseling she admitted to being unfaithful multiple times. Not only did I learn that she had cheated prior to our marriage, but several more times afterwards. This latest was a guy she met at work. She begged for forgiveness, and I also learned that she had been diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder, while we were dating. The counselor put forth a huge amount of effort to explain that us staying married could actually help her condition, and I spent a great deal of the time learning about her inability to control some of her actions. But, with care, I could be her knight in shining armor and help her keep one or two of these "personalities" hidden.

It was later suggested that we move away and find a place to start a new life together. I made the mistake of deciding to try to save the marriage, and we moved about four hours away and transferred to a different university to finish her degree. This worked out great for another year, before I found some pictures on our computer. I moved out again, and filed for a court date.

.....

We never came to an agreement, so we had entered the courtroom to allow the judge to decide on how to split our assets. I filed that due to her mental condition and infidelity, she was an unfit mother and I deserved custody of our son. She claimed that I was an aggressive, dangerous, criminal who held her in our marriage, against her will. In the end, I won the case, and was given custody. She was to pay me a small amount in child support. We would split the assets down the middle.

This is when everything went sideways, and fast... After the verdict, she jumped up screaming that I couldn't have custody, because I wasn't the father. I was floored, and couldn't even speak. My lawyer requested a paternity test, and we immediately started that process. In the end, I found that I wasn't the father. My lawyer was also on vacation at that reading and told me that they would schedule a separate date to determine the divorce. This did not happen and I was in court without a lawyer. Since she was uncertain of the true father's identity, and I had raised him since birth, everything flipped into her favor. I lost everything. She got all of our assets. She won custody, and instead of child support, I was required to pay her alimony, to support the child.

I had left my high paying job, in Chicago, to save my marriage. This was used against me in court. My violent behavior, although it was deemed as self-defense, and dropped, was used against me. Her mental condition, which I had previously known nothing about, was used against me. Even my questioning her fidelity, which I later found out, was correct, was used against me. I had considered suicide, but decided to move away and restart my life.

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Today, I sit with my third wife, and look back at my life. I struggled after my first marriage, and took a huge amount of care before marrying again. My second wife and I were married for seven very happy and perfect years. There was never a reason for me to ever doubt her love. Until, again, I found she had forgotten to log off our computer. She had left a chat window open. I would never have read it, except that there was a picture of her breasts visible in the window. Once she was confronted, I found she had been having an affair with my brother. She also confessed there was several other guys that I worked with.

Our divorce was handled very quietly, and I never had to go to court. She did made a huge scene at work which got me fired. Nut, in the end, I was given custody of our daughter, and I kept our house. All other assets were split. My second wife dropped off the face of the Earth for several years as I soon found she had gotten into drugs. I raised our daughter alone, until one day, my little elementary school aged daughter, set me up on a blind date.

I had no intention of re-marrying, but life happens and I again fell hopelessly in love. We had another daughter and we felt like a perfect family. My older daughter began to show some odd symptoms, which was later diagnosed as Cerebral Palsy. CP is a recessive, sex linked gene carried on the Y-Chromosome. For those who don't understand genetics, it means that it can only be dominant if the father has the disease. After a quick genetic test, It was proven that I was not her father either.

The third child was born with a disability and passed away unexpectedly at age 9. My current wife is unable to have more children and we are now old enough to no longer care. Due to my previous two cheating wives, my genetic line will end with me. But, at least, I finally found my soulmate, and hopefully fate will allow us many future years of happiness.

.....

As for the fate of my previous wives. My first wife, failed to get property insurance on our house. The home was hit by a tornado, and deposited all along the next mile of its trek. Her next boyfriend was everything she accused me of being, and she went into hiding and lived out of a homeless shelter for a year. Today, she is an unemployed housewife to a husband who rules her life with an iron grip. He knows of her cheating behavior and doesn't allow her out of his sight. Our "son" works as an English Professor at the University that I graduated. He is married, has two kids, and no longer even remembers I existed.

My second wife eventually married her drug dealer. He is now the perfect definition of a cuckold. She contacts me regularly, hoping that I will sneak over and sleep with her, while he is away. Obviously, that will never happen. He is fully knowledgeable about her behavior, but apparently enjoys it. He has since bragged to me that she has slept with hundreds of men, since I left her. Our "daughter" does not know anything about her genetics and still thinks I am her father. She is now married, and works as an engineering contractor for the US Air Force.

Not every story has a happy ending. We just have to learn how to put one foot in front of the other and continue to make the best of it. As stated earlier. I am now approaching my 11th wedding anniversary with my soul mate. We have built a thriving business and I spend my evenings teaching kids how to defend themselves. Sure, I made mistakes in my life. Yes, I trusted the wrong people. But ultimately, we need to learn from our mistakes. Although it is easy to pass judgment on people, I teach my students that it is more important to try to understand why actions occur, rather than to make a harsh reaction. A little effort from either of my previous wives could have saved us years of hurt. And I can look back and acknowledge that I did everything, in my power, to help us succeed.