"I swear he was the first and was going to be the last. Renee realized what she had with you was special and wasn't going to jeopardize that again. That was the last time they were going to be together and Dr. Rogers was going to accept it or lose a whole lot more than Renee would have if it came out."
"Why did he want her?"
"She told me he was always complaining about his wife not being good in bed. He overheard me and Renee talking one day at lunch. Renee and I told each other everything and she had blurted out how much she enjoyed sex with you. Dr. Rogers began coming onto her after that."
I had been wrong about knowing the truth about that day not hurting any worse than Renee's death had hurt. Instead of a big empty hole in my heart where Renee had been, I now had a heart that was torn in two. I stumbled away from Lori as the tears ran anew down my cheeks. My love, my life's purpose, and the one person I had trusted completely had cheated on me and I couldn't even do anything about it because she was gone.
For the next three months I was like a zombie. I went to work, went home, sat in my recliner with the TV on and didn't feel anything, not even pain. I didn't think about the past or the future; I merely existed. On the weekends I didn't leave the house and only left my recliner to go to the bathroom. I was clinically depressed and if my family hadn't stepped up and helped me I would have been sharing the double sized urn Renee and I had picked out so that our ashes would be together forever just as our spirits had been until my learning of her affair.
My brother Ray as my next of kin had me committed to the mental health facility that was located in our county. It was fourteen days before the doctor and nurses could get me to say anything more than yes or no. It was another fourteen days before I was speaking coherently and another ten before the doctor felt it was safe to let me go home. While I had been in the mental health facility, my in-laws had gone through the double wide trailer that Renee and I had been paying for and removed all of her clothes, toiletries, and all but one of the pictures that I had of Renee. The only one they left was our wedding picture. My family began forcing me to go out with them to get me out of the house.
It was six months after Renee's death before I awoke with the first erection I'd had since the night before the accident. (Renee had been extremely affection that evening when I got home from work and had given me the most pleasurable blowjob minutes after my entering our home. I had given her an orgasm with my mouth and then two more with my second hard on of the evening.) It was a Friday so I decided at that moment that after work I was going to try and get laid.
I went to a local nightclub that was geared to people in my age group. I drank club soda because I had almost drunk myself to death after Martin Jr.'s death; but Renee had kicked my ass, literally, and made me promise not to drink again. I danced with some of the women that none of the other men went near. Most of them were overweight, but that didn't bother me. Renee had never been thin and I wasn't an Adonis myself. Wanda was the one woman who seemed to warm up to me while we were dancing so I invited her to my table. I bought her several drinks and we danced a couple of more times. She knew I was aroused when she felt my erection against her during one of the slow dances we danced together. When she had finished the last drink I had bought her before that last dance, I invited her to go home with me. The pain and embarrassment she gave me when she laughed in my face was almost enough to drive me back into my former depressed state.
I left the club and went home. When I got there, I opened up the closet that had the full length mirror that Renee had me install when we first moved in and that my in-laws had missed. I removed my clothes and looked at myself. 5'8" tall, barrel chested and broad shouldered like my father had been, big belly from forty extra pounds overhanging my flaccid dick, a full head of brown hair with a touch of gray starting to show even though I was only 44, unlike my dad who was bald except for a strip that started above the ears and went all the way around the back of his head when he was my age, muscular arms from physical labor, small butt compared to the rest of my body, muscular thighs but thin calves, permanently swollen ankles from numerous sprains over the years; no wonder an overweight, half-drunk woman had laughed at me. If I'd been a woman, I wouldn't have wanted to fuck me either. I decided I was going to get into shape starting the next day.
I went to the local 24-hour fitness center the next day. When Ashley, the pert twenty something receptionist, informed me that a nutritional consultation and a personal trainer would cost seventy five dollars a month; I almost choked. I was struggling with the bills now and couldn't afford that. I also knew I wouldn't succeed on my own. Renee and I had both tried to lose weight many times on our own and together and had failed. I was determined to lose the weight this time so I asked to speak to the manager.
"Hello sir, I'm Martin and I would like to talk to you about maybe trading some services for a membership. I have to lose some weight and need help doing it. I've tried in the past and failed. I'm an electrician by trade and could help fix and maintain some of your equipment. I'll sweep up, mop, clean the pool, and every other menial job no one else wants. I'll do almost anything, sir."
"My name is Dennis and I'm not just the manager but part owner. What did you want in a membership and why can't you pay the monthly rate?"
"I need nutritional guidance and a personal trainer. I know myself and without someone pushing me, I'll quit. My wife was killed in a car wreck six months ago and I'm barely paying my existing bills without adding to them."
"I have an idea for a promotional for the gym, but haven't found anyone to agree to do it. The idea is for the gym to take a before picture and then an after of someone obese who loses weight and keeps it off for five years. The picture would be of the whole body with the person wearing a pair of trunks or gym shorts only. Would you be willing to do that?"
"For a full membership with the other things I mentioned, yes I would."
"Okay, let's get started then."
I followed Dennis into the men's locker room where he gave me a pair of gym shorts with the fitness center's name on them. I posed in the poses Dennis directed me to take as he took pictures of my flabby body. We then went into his office and I signed the special membership papers he had gotten made for his promotion. I didn't have to pay anything unless I quit working out in the center. I had to pay two months fees plus a $500.00 penalty if I did quit. The before picture would be life sized and hang over the reception area starting the next week. Dennis took me out to the center and began working me out. He could tell how bad out of shape I was in after only five minutes. Strength wise I was above average for a man of my age, but cardio wise I was equal to a man twice my age. Dennis had mercy on me that first day and let me stop after only twenty minutes. He gave me a meal plan and ordered me to start it that day. I stopped at the supermarket and got a fresh salmon steak and the vegetables the meal plan called for to go with it plus the food I'd need for breakfast and lunch. I went home and threw all the junk food and sweets away like Dennis had told me to do.
I had a new trainer the next day and we began after I had met with the nutritionist and gotten a more detailed and varied meal plan than the one Dennis had given me. Mike, my new trainer, didn't show me any mercy and I ended up vomiting in a plastic bucket after only thirty minutes doing the exercises Mike put me through. He allowed me to rest and re-hydrate before starting me out again. I managed not to puke again and dragged myself to the showers thirty five minutes later. I worked out with Mike every day except for Sunday when I was on my own. It took me two weeks before the soreness left me and another three months before I could do the full routine without a break. One year after starting, I had lost thirty of the forty extra pounds I had been carrying. I did take some ribbing from the other members when my before picture was first posted, but ignored them.
I had gotten the pay out from the two life insurance policies that were on Renee. I paid off her car, then sold it, and paid off the loan on the double wide; putting the rest in the bank. I had hired my friend, McDonald Hood, a Harvard law school grad, old scouting buddy who had told me his wife, who he dated all through high school and college, was the reason he had came back to our hometown; to sue Dr. Rogers' estate and auto insurance company for his causing Renee's death. He asked for $5 million at my insistence and he was in final negotiations with $3 million or a little less appearing to be the final number. Besides Lori I had Janet Blankenship, another of Renee's fellow nurses, who would testify to the doctor's affair with Renee. Mac was using that information as leverage to get the settlement we wanted.
