White Lies

(There is almost no sex in this story so be warned.

Some of you asked for an ending, my thought was that the story already was finished. I love to leave thoughts in a reader's mind, yet this story has received the most responses to my poor attempts at writing.

So I actually found myself forced to think, the truth is that when I write I seldom do think.

Yes, some of you may have noticed that, also..:).

+++

So we have a man completely in love, content, whose world is suddenly shattered by a discovery. His woman he believes continues an affair, oddly for no real defined reason other than the other male was her first. Perhaps an attempt to recapture a moment in a past time, who knows?

It should be clear that it was not due to love.

Even she does not realize the evil that is inside her sometimes illicit mate, some males take great care to hide their inner truths.

The first reaction in the faithful husband is rage, the second a plan to create mayhem. Because physically he is not a match for his tormentor, his plan entails an equalizer.

Insane? Yes. Does it happen? Yes. Are his thoughts misdirected? Yes, again.

And then the daughter, not his blood but his nonetheless? Walker would go to any lengths to protect her above all else.

+++

So I had to think. I know what some might do, but all I could think of was what I might do.

Then I had to decide what actually could happen?}

+++

Walker knew the moment his daughter Sara stepped out of the taxicab that something was wrong.

He had somehow missed the tension in her voice when she called to say she was coming home. Normally noting that would have been instant.

His wife Carla was from all signs he could see, carrying on a long term relationship with a former lover.

This created distractions, upsets in what was a good and happy, even peaceful life. Not knowing the real truth, suspicious of her denials, his mind whirled with torment even as he somehow managed to keep the outward appearance of normalcy.

Like some, Walker had a tendency to keep upsets bottled up inside, hidden.

Now glancing out past the curtain as Sara stepped from the cab, Walker knew she was unhappy.

A man does not lovingly raise a child from birth all the way to becoming a beautiful young woman without having that intimate bond that is difficult to explain.

From the very moment her shock of red hair appeared impossibly between the outstretched legs of his slender wife, his life became complete. There no longer was that underlying uncertainty about his future, about what tomorrow might bring.

That moment was the most intense in his entire life, and like Walker nearly always did in times of stress, he cracked a joke.

"That's impossible! I almost can't get my...." He blurted out without thinking. Carla lay there with her legs splayed widely, naked to the waist and surrounded by people, her vagina open hugely.

All of them knew instantly what he nearly said.

The entire room cracked up, even Carla burst out laughing, causing his little Sara to come popping right out of there.

"We should put this guy on the payroll!" One older nurse wisecracked right back, causing even more peals of laughter.

When the nurses handed the bundle to him and he looked down at her shiny red face, that private bond was total. He would have kept her there forever in his arms, but one of the nurses finally came and took her, having to pry a tiny hand loose from one of his fingers.

From that moment on, Walker always knew what she needed without words. Somehow they spoke to each other with motions, body language, a mental thing.

+++

Now a tall and beyond belief beautiful young woman, he felt that flash of pride he always felt in her. His daughter was dressed simply in a light green blouse and tan slacks with a matching businesslike vest, her long flowing red hair a color that so many women try to achieve yet fail. The look was that of a conservative young lady.

Yet Walker also saw her body speak, it showed clearly that she was upset about something.

He stepped out onto the porch concerned, actually grateful that his wife Carla was still at her work at the hospital.

Carla certainly loved their daughter, that much was completely obvious, but Sara had always come to Walker first instead of her Mother when anything bothered her.

For some reason, speaking to her Mother about very personal concerns was more difficult. Carla had even come to accept that, Sara was always hesitant with her about personal issues.

Sara had no such difficulty at all with her Daddy.

It was always that way, long before she had come to him at age 11 and asked him to check here "there" because she was bleeding. Even Walker was mildly surprised at that, partly due to the ease with which she discussed it, and partly because she was barely 11.

There was no fever, no signs of illness or even real discomfort, so he knew what was happening.

He gently explained that to her, he had already mentioned some of it in passing, but really had expected it to be another couple of years.

He did go get Carla, asked her to show Sara what to do to care for herself. Then he went and sat in his chair, shaking out his newspaper, grinning to himself.

"We are seeing that more and more at the hospital, girls becoming women at an early age." Was all Carla said when he spoke to her later that night.

"I wanted her to stay a little girl forever." Walker answered, holding her close.

"I know, honey. Believe me, I know."

By age 12 Sara had obvious breasts and was totally concerned about it, doing everything she could to hide that.

By age 13 she was simply spectacular and a totally relaxed young lady. She retained the basic sense of modesty Walker had instilled in her, yet there was no way at all to hide what she developed into.

The transition was so fast it was almost startling. One day he was busy removing everything that had a sharp or hard edge in the entire house, anything small enough that it might fit into her mouth.

He carefully cut the loops that hung down for drawing the curtains, then tied them up high so there was no chance Sara could reach them.

Everything that could possibly harm his treasure got changed or removed.

It seemed that the next day he was worried as she rode off on a bike, after insisting that he remove the training wheels. He did that with reluctance, then she smiled and hopped on, flying though the air over the curb and off down the street she went.

Next she took the wheel of the car, so he sat and looked out the window that first time until he saw the machine turn the corner and come up their driveway. He was also careful to make sure she did not see him watching for her, that did no good because she just grinned at him knowingly when she walked in the door.

Walker had taken great pains in explaining to his little girl all about boys and what they wanted, what their drive was like. He told her firmly that he wanted her to be pure for the man she chose, and that if she was, it was a magic thing.

She smiled and promised. Her Daddy was always right.

+++

The day he watched as she went down the long walkway towards the airplane was like something was torn loose from him.

Life took another change. His wife Carla became more distant, moody. At first his thinking was that she was missing Sara since he certainly was, but finally he realized that it was more than that.

Then came the day Carla sprang that surprise on him.

Her earlier lover, from over two decades ago, back in town? Working with her on a nearly daily basis, asking her out, even knowing she was married? Pestering her for dates?

It was bad enough that any man would pursue her, knowing she was spoken for, but a past lover?

Then she told Walker she would like to?

His easy and relaxed life suddenly became one of pain, of suspicion. Bitter that she could even suggest such a thing, he stormed out.

Walker's usual mild and calm manner vanished in an instant. Even his wife Carla was surprised at his reaction. Walker left, moved out. She would never have dreamed he would, no matter what.

The final confrontation at the hospital where she worked had been ugly. He had made threats, terrible ones from a moment of rage.

Even her promises that nothing would happen did not completely solve the problem, Walker now was reasonably sure that something had been going on, and for a very long time.

Finally after sitting down and having a long talk, he relented and returned home to a somewhat uneasy peace.

Those words, once spoken, remained.

+++

Sara leaned over and paid the driver, then looked up and saw Walker. She ran all the way up the concrete walkway and hugged him, then instantly broke down into sobs.

He reached around her waist, steered her inside the house and sat down with her on the couch. It took several long minutes before she could compose herself enough to talk.

"I caught him cheating on me!" She managed finally, then broke down in more tears.

"Oh, God. I am so sorry, honey." He held her snugly for another few moments.

"I loved him, I was going to marry him! Then he was...having sex with that Marilyn from down the hall...I caught them!" The words came in a torrent, between sobs.

"It's better to find out now than find out too late, honey." Walker said, his mind flashing to his own problems with his wife Carla.

"He wanted to have sex with me but I wanted to wait, to be married like you always told me was so important! I don't know, maybe..maybe I should have? Then he wouldn't have...?" She was beginning to calm down enough to speak.

"No. It's best to wait, honey. To be sure, sex is important in life but if the guy really does love you, then he will wait also. If he could go to another woman at all, then he was going to do it anyway." He told her.

"I did it for him, Daddy. You know? With my hands? Why wasn't that enough?" She asked him bluntly.

That part Walker didn't want to know about.

"Some men just don't have it in them to be faithful, sweetie. Those kind are the wrong choice for you." Was the best he could manage.

"I guess you are right, Daddy. But I bet I am the only 22 year old virgin in the entire College!"

"That is probably true, honey!" He laughed at that, getting a rewarding giggle from Sara.

He also felt a small trace of pride at her admission.

"So what am I going to do?" She asked.

"Well, you are here and he isn't, so I guess you already did do what you needed to."

"I dropped out of school, Daddy. Can I live here with you guys?" She asked.

"Yes, of course. As long as you want to, but school? That is so important. Maybe you can finish your schooling at the local State college? Your room is just like you left it, the school is close, it will be easy." He encouraged.

Walker was completely delighted at the prospect.

"Good, thank you Daddy." She smiled, the only feature Sara had that was exactly like her Mother was that smile. It started at the corners of her mouth, then spread until all of her face was smiling. Her brilliant green eyes took on the same round shape that Carla's blue eyes did.

For just an instant, he saw his wife's features in her face, the slight differences enough to make Sara a raving beauty rather than the more average appearance of Carla.

So many times Walker had noted how similar they were, yet so different. Carla had an outward appearance and manner that made men look and not be quite sure why at first, Sara was classic in her beauty.

Still, in certain moments, it was clear they were Mother and Daughter.

For an instant, a feeling of sadness passed over him. "0.00% chance" The DNA report had read.

That quickly passed, Sara was his. His from the instant she slid out into his world. The nurse had even handed her to him first, knowing wisely from a glance that he needed desperately to hold her, touch her.

+++

The phone rang, Walker got up to answer. It was a male voice, asking for Sara. Walker instantly knew that this was the boyfriend.

"It's for you, honey." He told her.

"Who is it?" She asked. Walker just shrugged.

Some things his daughter needed to handle on her own.

"Hello." She said, after taking the phone. Then she listened for quite a long time, not saying a word.

"You can just go stick it in that Marilyn, you bastard, because you will never stick it in me, you little SHIT! You can just go FUCK yourself!" She slammed the receiver down.

Walker blinked. Those were the first words of profanity he had ever heard his daughter speak.

Sara looked at him, then realizing, she blushed.

"Good lord!" He said.

"I'm sorry, Daddy." She said, but she had a smile on her face.

Walker broke out laughing, then Sara started giggling too. They were still hugging when Carla walked in the door.

"What's going on?" She asked.

They sat down and explained to Carla what had happened, that the marriage was off and Sara was moving back home.

"A man that will cheat on his woman isn't much of a man." Walker told Carla, looking directly at her.

He knew what she was thinking, she flushed slightly at his comment. Her comment about wanting to date her old lover, that still hung in the air.

"You don't own me!" Were her exact words when he had thrown a complete fit at the idea.

Walker knew that "Johnny" was still there, still in the background. He had made plans for that, evil ones in anger, but now Sara was home.

He had wanted revenge, he had made those terrible plans. But there was Sara to consider.

He already felt deep guilt at having kept that terrible secret from her, telling her the opposite of what the DNA tests showed.

Murder, mayhem? That had swept across his mind, he even had gone so far as to prepare for that. Yet would he, could he do something like that?

In the heat of that rage, Walker knew he likely could, but once that had passed? Once his normal calmness had returned, it gave him pause.

Sara gave him an odd look, so Walker quickly blanked his mind and relaxed. She had picked up on his moment of tension at his own thoughts, she always did.

The two women went into the kitchen, Walker got his newspaper and sat down in the living room.

Carla, the woman he loved for over two decades, the mother of his little girl? She had lied, she had probably even cheated, although he still did not know for sure about that.

Not knowing the real truth was the most painful part.

He now had no idea at all what he was going to do about it.

+++

The fat man sat on the other side of his desk. He was nearly bald, a big black cigar was half smoked but now out, clamped securely in his teeth.

He looked just like something out of the movies.

"It's been thirty days, we got nothing. She goes to work and then she goes home, sometimes she goes shopping. If she is doing anything at all with that Doctor Hansen asshole, it would have to be in the lunch room or bathrooms at work because we covered everything else. We see them talk, and there ain't no doubt at all that they are friendly but that's it."

"What about the nights she gets home late?" He asked.

"Every time that happens there are cops and ambulances all over the place. Best as we can tell, yer wife ain't cheating. Don't mean she ain't done it, she just didn't do anything in the last month."

Walker looked at the photos. Carla talking to the man, then Carla getting into a taxi. Carla at the store, Carla going into the hair salon. Nothing, except for one that stuck in his mind.

The man's arms were up, an angry expression on his face. In that one she was just turning away from him, she looked to be tense.

Then the fat man shoved a bill across the desk. Walker wrote him a check, thanked him and left.

So Carla had apparently told the truth, she said she was not going to have the affair and she seemed to have meant it.

Yet he was also sure that something had been going on, and for a very long time. It had to be rare, those out of town trips were usually a couple of years apart.

The other part that he just could not understand was if she had been cheating all this time, getting away with it, then why suddenly ask him for permission? That made no sense at all, was it guilt, perhaps?

Or did she think so little of him that she thought he would simply go along with that, allow it? Allow another man to touch her, take her body? That was something he simply could not allow, not and stay sane.

Walker forced his mind to think of other things, it was all too unsettling to ponder. That long ago incident, a girlfriend that to him had been a moment in time popped into his mind.

To her, it had not been a moment in time.

He still bore the long scar she left him with in a instant of insane rage. Now he finally understood that, he knew the emotion that could cause such an act.

+++

Jonathan was still there, still at the hospital. Carla was still working side by side with him every single day, and Walker now knew that they had been lovers.

Hiring the detective agency was not something that would ever have crossed his mind before, but that was then and this was now.

He was thinking of just sitting down and having it out, make her tell him the truth and all of it.

But Sara was home, he just could not, not in front of her. So he went to work, then came home, keeping life normal. He waited for the opportunity to present itself, the words carefully chosen in his mind.

Carla got home one night right on time.

"Hi, honey!" She said brightly when she walked in the door. It was like she didn't have a clue as to the torment she had caused in his mind.

Their brief breakup, the terrible argument had ended. Carla acted like that had never happened.

He went in and sat down with his newspaper, shuffling it but not seeing it once again.

Sara had enrolled in the local College, she was taking some evening mixed with some day time classes.

Walker had pointedly not brought up the subject of Carla and Jonathan, he simply did not want any upsets while Sara was around.

That wasn't easy to do. Now he had a couple of hours, so with the words formed he went into the kitchen and sat down.

"Want some juice, honey?" Carla asked.

"Sure." Was all he managed. In his mind he was yelling at her, demanding to know how many times she had been with that man, how long all of this had been going on?

All of those receipts, her week long trips out of town to different conventions, to meetings every two years or so told a sordid tale.

How does a woman spend a week out of town and not be billed for a hotel room? Just two of her trips had billings for the stay, out of nearly a dozen.

Now the man was here. She actually told him what she wanted to do, had they already began an affair?

He just did not know, and that was the worst part.

Walker tried to open his mouth to speak, watching Carla as she busied herself preparing dinner.

Nothing came out. Walker sighed, went back into the living room. His real fear was that she would lie.

He could accept that Sara was not his blood, that did not matter one bit because she really was his daughter no matter what.

Even an affair, a moment of weakness? Perhaps in time that could even heal, of that he was unsure.

The lies he just could not accept.

+++

Walker began avoiding intimacy, several times Carla had asked him if he was coming to bed and he would tell her he would be in as soon as his TV show was finished. He would wait until he was sure she was sound asleep before going in.

A couple of times she had rolled over and reached for him, but he made the excuse of needing to use the bathroom, each time spending so long in there that she was asleep when he came back out.

Finally after a few weeks she simply went to bed quietly, no longer asking.

The idea of sex with Carla now always brought the vision of Jonathan with it, and he couldn't let his mind dwell on that for long without feeling rage build up inside. Then that would turn into a feeling of illness. That feeling was even worse.