I couldn't believe all of the nervous energy that I was feeling. Honestly, I couldn't believe a time when I was ever more nervous. Here I was walking with my wife through the airline terminal knowing what her ultimate destination was. She had wanted some time to herself for a while now, so I did my best to accommodate. We found her a place in Miami where she could go and just get away. I knew some wild things might happen, after all, this is Miami, and she had three nights all to herself. I just didn't expect things to go the way they did.
We hugged, and off she went, down the airline terminal. It was an exciting feeling watching her go, but also a bit lonely and scary as well. We had talked about the possibilities, and I knew she was well versed on what we felt comfortable doing and not doing in our lifestyle.
When she arrived in Miami, she checked into her hotel, and gave me a call. She said she had arrived safely, but the room was not as advertised. I thought that could be a good thing . . . as it might keep her out of it more often.
The first day was pretty uneventful. She just went out to restaurants and hung out at the beach. I asked her if she was going to go out that night, and she just said she would see how she felt. She wound up shopping till her feet hurt, so she never went out that evening or the next. By the third night, the suspense was killing me. That day, she went out shopping for another new outfit.
All day, she would call me and let me know what she was doing. She said she had found a real cute outfit, just in case she felt like going out. She tried explaining it to me, but I just couldn't picture it. It was a black ruffly top, almost see through, with a nice form fitting white shirt that went overtop. She had found a real cute black skirt with small white dots. Like I said, it was hard for me to picture, but I was sure it was cute.
At about 9:00, she phoned to say that she was going to go out. She said the locals had said to check out Nikki Beach, so that is where she was headed.
I don't know what it was, but shortly after she left, all of the anticipation and desire for her to be with other people vanished. It wasn't nerves, as we had swapped before. It was just my complete desire for her to experience others was gone. I tried calling all throughout the night. But as luck would have it, the phone reception was terrible so I couldn't reach her. All I could do was to leave a voice message. When I first left a message it was about eleven o'clock in the evening. My only hope was that she would check her voicemail. After another panicky hour, or so, I figured that if she did decide to get lucky it would take a little bit for them to get to either of their hotel rooms. I know it sounds like stalking, but I figured if I tried calling every 20 minutes, then I might have an opportunity to tell her my feelings. The more time that passed, the more fearful I became that I was too late.
She finally called at 2:00 in the morning, and I could barely hear her. The phone still had terrible reception and sounded like it could cut out at any second. In addition, I could tell she was still at the club, as the noise was deafening.
The fact that she was still at the club did make my stomach and nerves settle down. I thought to myself, "At least I know that I'm going to get to explain my feelings before anything goes down."
We made small talk for a few seconds. I asked her how her night was. She said it was fun, and she sounded like she was wired. I couldn't stand not telling her any longer, so I asked, "You haven't done anything, yet, have you?"
The voice at the other end went silent for a moment, and then I heard, "I just did".
My heart sank. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to feel. After a few tense minutes, she decided to bypass her original plans of going back to the dance floor, and return to her hotel where we could talk more.
A few minutes later, my phone rang. She was back at her room. I asked her why she didn't return my phone calls.