When Is Revenge Too Much?

Author's note: Not many people requested a Part 3, but soon after I submitted Part 2, I realized I hadn't 'finished the damn story.' So, this finishes the damn story. As always, I hope you enjoy this short ending.

*****

Life with the Vinson family in Costa Rica was good, but not great. Chris from Grecia Real Estate had been able to find a home that met with Oscar's approval. It was a three bedroom, two bath house with a small, one bedroom one bathroom, guest house on the grounds. Oscar wanted the flexibility to get away from his wife and daughter when he felt the need.

It took a while to get the homes furnished and pantries stocked. They ate out a lot at first and the women found out that Oscar was well known and very popular. It took a few weeks before either Jean or Carol would go out without Oscar. First, they could get lost easily, and secondly, their Spanish was minimal. They quickly found that Grecia was easy to navigate with the metallic church as the visible, central point in town. Most people in service positions knew enough English, so Spanish fluency was not really needed. Oscar understood their apprehension and didn't mind their initial dependency. In fact, he kind of enjoyed having that degree of control over their lives.

Jeremy was put in a bilingual preschool and started fitting in almost immediately. Carol was scared at first but seeing Jeremy's attitude each day after she picked him up from school reduced her fear. Carol set about finding a tutor for Spanish and hoped she could work with some people on teaching them some English. She spent a lot of time talking to her mother about how to make things up with Oscar. They had no new ideas other than loving him for as long as it took. He had asked them to stop apologizing.

Oscar did not initiate contact with anyone other than Jeremy. He was still not comfortable being loved by anyone. His hate for their betrayal always lurked beneath the surface. Being with Jeremy, however, began to unlock the loving part of his heart. He actually got jealous when Jeremy started wanting to play with friends from school instead of playing with him. Still, Jeremy filled most of Oscar's time after school was over each day.

Jeremy and Carol seemed to adjust to life in Costa Rica much better than Jean. Her daily attitude seemed to depend on whatever perception she had from her most recent interaction with Oscar. She seemed to be walking on egg shells with combat boots, fearful of saying something that would upset Oscar. Likewise, Oscar was always careful in what he said because of Jean's proclivity in putting a negative twist on neutral statements he made. Finally, Oscar asked Jean to have a talk.

Oscar and Jean were early risers. Their best time of the day was the morning coffee and pastry time on the big house patio. Oscar broached the 'walking on egg shells' issue. He asked Jean what she thought they could do to have some sort of non-adversarial relationship without her always being afraid.

Jean confessed she had wanted to have this talk too. Her appraisal matched Oscar's. She did, however, offer a suggestion. "You talked about getting help from a therapist before. Could we go together and see if she could help us?"

Oscar agreed. "That is a good idea. Just understand that I am primarily trying to make our time in Costa Rica as mutually beneficial as possible. I am still trying to figure out what, if any, relationship we might have. I will go if you understand, I am not trying to reclaim our marriage."

"I understand that. You should understand that I will be satisfied with ANY relationship where we are with each other. Of course, I want to be as close to a wife as I can. I love you and I have a tremendous debt to repay to you. Thank you for all you have done for us. This place is wonderful."

Oscar and Jean met with Dr. Perez. Rebecca was pleased to meet Jean after all the stories she had heard from Oscar. Her initial impression is that Jean was truly sorry for what she did and seemed genuinely trying to make it up to Oscar. After initial discussions, Dr. Perez began to wonder, however, if Jean fully understood the pain she had caused Oscar. She took an approach she thought was risky.

"Jean, what is the extent of your knowledge of Oscar's time in prison?"

That was not a question Jean was expecting. "Well, Oscar doesn't like to talk about it. I have seen the carving on his chest and stab wounds. Worst of all is his burnt hands. I can't imagine how horrible that time in prison was for him."

"That may be part of the problem. I wonder if you truly understand what he suffered in prison. The intense hate he developed for Bryan, you and Carol while in prison increased by each new torture he suffered.

"Oscar, I think you need to tell Jean about your tortures. She needs to know."

"I don't agree. I get enough pity as it is."

"I think part of her problem is that she doesn't understand why, when she makes loving overtures to you, that you don't respond positively. Her judgment is at least partially based on what she thinks your suffering was. She needs to know the height of the mountain she has to climb."

Oscar stewed in his chair for a while. This was not something he wanted to do. "I will agree to tell as long as you realize that this is the last time I ever want to talk about this. I have adjusted somewhat to tolerate the memories and I am afraid this will prompt the return of my nightmares."

"I understand." Rebecca looked at Jean who was already crying in anticipation.

Oscar then went into great detail of the stabbings, beatings, carving, frying, and the sodomy and other sexual abuse. He talked about surviving mostly to get his revenge, especially Bryan but Jean and Carol also. In his mind, the emotional torture he suffered because of their betrayal was just about as bad as his physical torture. He was frank about his not being able to survive in this situation if it had not been for Jeremy and Dr. Perez's help.

Jean had been crying louder and louder. Several times she had to interrupt Oscar's story to go to the bathroom for a break. She forced herself to return to the room. After a while she gathered herself enough to respond. "I had no idea of the level of horror you had to endure and how much my lack of faith in you has caused you tremendous pain. My gut reaction is that there is no way that I can ever make up enough for you forgive me and be willing to be anything close to husband and wife again. What I have to say, I have been thinking about for some time. This session has helped me to this decision. Oscar, I love you so much I believe I have to leave and give you the opportunity to meet someone new who doesn't refresh the unspeakable terror you faced or a wife who did not have faith in you. I have plenty of money left from my mother's estate to make a new start without your financial assistance. I will keep in touch with Carol. Goodbye." Jean left the office.

Oscar remained seated. Both were silent for a while. He finally spoke. "So, do you consider that a loss or a win?"

Rebecca replied, "You know, you can really be an 'hijo de punta' can't you? I try not to see the work I do as wins or losses. I think Jean finally understands what she is facing if she tries to have a life with you. Today's session pushed her to make the decision now for what she probably would have done later after more and more time of stagnation, stress and worry on both your parts. So, if I had to score it, I consider it a win. What about you?"

Oscar pondered before speaking, "To be honest, I'm kind of disappointed she gave up. On the other hand, I am glad that the tension in our relationship is now gone. I felt it the second she left. I really, really hope she finds happiness. Except for one huge mistake in judgment, she probably is a wonderful woman. I am also glad she is gone because I was getting really horny and was afraid I would give in to her. She certainly made it plain she was willing."

Rebecca smiled. "Do you see a need for us to meet anymore?"

"Not unless Carol wants to. For some reason I seem to have a lot less animosity against her. Probably because she was only 12 and was naïve when she lied about my molesting. Being the mother of Jeremy certainly has helped her cause. If I could ever classify a time when I am actually happy, it's when I'm around him. For a while, I was not sure I could be happy ever again."

"I'll wait for you to call then, if you need me."

Oscar went to one of his favorite local restaurants to give Jean time to say her goodbyes to Carol and Jeremy. He was afraid that Carol might try to go with her, but he doubted it. She seemed to really like it here and Jeremy definitely did. Still he had to be prepared for what he would find back at the house.

Carol and Jeremy's faces were showing the signs of crying, but there was no evidence they were packing. "Mom told us her conclusion about what she needed to do. Although I know how much she wanted to make things right with you, I understand how that could be considered impossible. I just hope you don't decide later you should have made it easier on her to be forgiven. I also know you wouldn't be as nice to me as you are if it wasn't for Jeremy. I'm okay with that. If you wondered what we were going to do, we would like to stay here with you. We love it here and I still plan to continue to build that bridge back to your heart that I destroyed. So, as Jeremy would say, 'I'm stuck to you.'"

Jeremy spoke up, "I want to stay here with you Grandpa. By the way, Mom has a boyfriend."

"Jeremy! Well, the little bugger is somewhat correct. I have a date with my Spanish tutor. He is also the Youth Minister at Sol de Justicia Methodist Church and is finishing his law degree. I'm not sure how serious it is, but I feel good when I am with him."

As the months went by, Oscar came to enjoy life more and more. He continued his close relationship to Jeremy and enjoyed morning coffees with Carol now instead of Jean. He did have to be careful because Carol was not a human being until she had at least one cup of coffee in her. She said she had no idea mornings could start this early.

Oscar kept his routine of morning coffee with the gringos at Café Delicias. Membership varied from day to day. Temporary members included vacationers, missionaries, and people looking for a house to buy. One day, Roger remarked that Oscar seemed to be in better physical shape and mellower in attitude. He assumed Oscar was getting laid on a regular basis again. Oscar said it was just something about living in Costa Rica could do that to a person, but the getting laid idea was not bad.

Oscar had opportunities to date some of the unattached gringas who lived in Grecia and even some of the ticas (female Costa Ricans). Of course, he always had the opportunity to renew his use of local prostitutes. Despite the physical urges to relieve himself, he hesitated to make the effort for a relationship. He did go back to prostitutes occasionally for 'professional help.' He didn't need the stress all the relationship building could cause. Maybe later.

Things were looking up, in the daytime. Oscar's nightmares increased. His method of dealing with them before was not working now. Back to Dr. Perez. He brought her up-to-date on his life since their last session.

Rebecca asked, "Did you enjoy your torture in prison?"

Oscar was taken aback, so he attacked. "Is this some type of psycho-babble gimmick? Some trick to get me to have insight into my problem and convert me into a human being?"

"Yes. It is a gimmick. It doesn't matter if you know it is IF it helps you. Now answer the question."

"No, I did not enjoy the torture."

"You're lying. You must enjoy torture because you keep torturing yourself. I think you created some defense technique to survive the new torture you could expect would greet you each day in prison. You are so used to being tortured, you provide the torture if someone else doesn't. You don't know how to live without torture. Oscar, you have to forgive your torturers. You have to quit letting them continue to torture you."

"How the hell can I do that after what they did to me.?"

"They can't torture you in the future unless you let them. I understand there is an American saying, 'the best revenge is a life well lived.' You cannot live life well unless you forgive. You have a lot to live for Oscar, a lot to live well for."

Oscar grinned, "Can I still be satisfied with the revenge on Bryan?"

Rebecca laughed, "Yes. I think he is the truly evil one."

Oscar, "I'll try, I guess."

When he reached deep down in his soul, Oscar already had known this was what he had to do. He needed regular, daily help though to be able to forgive. He turned to the church. Sol de Justicia had both an English and a Spanish service. Oscar attended both. He noted that church here was different than what he had grown up with. There was no 'hellfire and damnation' sermons. It was more 'hate the sin but love the sinner.' He was impressed with the church's missionary work with indigenous tribes. The other thing that struck Oscar was that whereas he had seen people in churches in the U.S. would be 'glad' to come to church, the people at Sol de Justicia were 'happy' to be there. Perhaps a subtle difference, but it was a noticeable difference. He began to feel a similar difference in his thought patterns.

It was almost a year when the bell at the front gate rang. Oscar went to the gate, noting it was a woman. Many Costa Ricans had a side business to supplement the family's income, so door-to-door solicitations were common. Something about this woman was familiar to Oscar. It was Jean. It was a Jean with a complete makeover. She had different hair color and style, different (more revealing) clothes, her teeth had been whitened, her cup size enlarged, and probably had a face lift. She looked fantastic. He wanted to play it cool, but he had to smile at what he was seeing.

"Hola, senor."

"Hola, senora."

"Senorita, por favor."

"What can I do for you?"

"Months ago, I heard this heart-wrenching story from a woman named 'Jean' that touched my soul. She told me of this wonderful man who had suffered unjustly and was betrayed by her, his wife. She said her betrayal was so bad that she had to leave. She said that he needed a new woman who would love him above anyone else, including herself. She hoped that I would never make the mistakes she did. Please, Senor, if that job is still open, I would like to apply."

At that exact moment, Oscar knew it was the right time to forgive. "I don't know. Would your services include awesome, mind-blowing sex?"

Jean relaxed and smiled, "Only if we could do it every day."

"I think that could be arranged. How much would you like in pay?"

"Just to be here and be allowed to occupy a tiny bit of your heart."

"Come in and let me introduce you to my family."

They went into the big house and saw Jeremy and Carol. His daughter shook her head and exclaimed, "Mother? Is that you? What have you done to yourself?"

"Carol, Jeremy, this is Lolita. She has come to give me a new woman to re-start my life with. She will be living in the guest house with me. Please welcome her into our family."

Carol hugged her mother and they both were crying profusely. Jeremy was puzzled. "Grandpa, isn't that Grandma Jean?"

"Yes. We're doing a little pretending. Can you play along?"

"I guess, but grown-ups around here are really weird."