What the Fuc Now

Author's note: One of the newest authors on the site posted a story for Halloween that intrigued me. mikothebaby, my esteemed, legendary and noteworthy editor, posted her first story called "Is it really cheating if it is with a Ghost." I liked it. She asked at the end what people thought happened next. Here's my take. If you haven't read her story yet, you should do that before reading this one to get a better grasp of the story. SS06

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Pete stood up and yawned. He smiled a bit, as he looked at his wife, Ashleigh. They'd just had a long conversation about what he'd come home to. Pete had come home to find his wife of ten years fucking...she called it making love, but then they always do, with a college boy.

Pete's heart had broken. He'd loved Ashleigh from the day they met. The past ten years of his life had been dedicated to building a life with her.

Seeing the slight smile on Pete's face made Ashleigh feel better. She'd been wracked with guilt as she'd told her husband the entire sad story. But what she'd done with Howie had really been more like closure, than cheating. There was no way for her to express this to Pete. In her mind, this wasn't some cheap, nasty affair that she'd had in a sleazy motel room. There was more to it than that.

In some ways, though she could never expect Pete to understand it. She'd done this for both of them. There were many levels to tonight's incident. On one hand having sex with Howie had helped Howie, by allowing him to move on. Howie's spirit had never been able to cross over, because like many ghosts, he had left unfinished business on this plane of existence. That unfinished business was so important that it compelled him to resist the call to move on. Now Howie's spirit could go to its rest.

What she'd done had also allowed her to put closure on her high-school romance with Howie as well. She could now look back on what they'd shared simply as fond memories, not as an overwhelming sadness or a source of frustration over what she could have had.

And lastly, it was a good thing for Pete. It might not have seemed like it, but it was. As good a wife as she'd been to him for the past ten years, she could now give him her whole heart instead of just a piece of it. Maybe now they could even have kids. There are very few situations that result in a win for both sides. Ashleigh, deep in her heart, knew that this was a case of an even less common win, win, win situation. Pete's smile told Ashleigh that he, though initially surprised, might be willing to accept the situation as she'd explained it. She was sure that he'd forgive her.

"God, Ash," said Pete smiling even more. "I wish Howie could have stayed a little longer."

Ashleigh was overwhelmed. Her husband did understand, she thought. He fully understood what had happened, the reasons for it and how it fulfilled her needs.

"He was here for as long as we needed," she said. "Now he can move on for good. I'm surprised though. Why would you have wanted him to stay longer? You're not turning into one of those guys who like to watch their woman with another man are you?"

"Fuck no, Ash," snapped Pete. Ashleigh had been with Pete for over ten years. She knew his moods, his patterns and came very close to knowing his thoughts. She could feel a darkness in his mood that his expression wasn't showing. She had the feeling that people living near a volcano got just before it suddenly blew.

"I was just thinking," continued Pete. "If poor old Howie had stayed a few minutes longer, he could have taken your cheating ass back with him. Fuck him and fuck you, too."

"But Pete, I love you, Honey," cried Ashleigh. As she watched Pete had pulled out his keys and flicked the automatic starter on his Mustang. He was planning on going somewhere. She had to stop him. He was probably going to go somewhere and get drunk. She'd never intended to hurt Pete. This was all going wrong.

"Pete, I love you," she repeated. "You can't get angry over a one-time, never to be repeated liaison with a dead man."

Pete was throwing some of his clothing and personal items into a garbage bag and Ashleigh realized that this was far more serious than she'd ever dreamed. It really looked like he was going to leave her. She threw herself at him and tried to stop him from packing.

"Pete, stop," she whined. "Talk to me, please. I already told you; even Howie told you it's over. It can't ever happen again. I love you, Petey."

That pissed Pete off even more. He hated to be called fucking Petey. He'd allowed Ashleigh to do it over the years, even though he never let anyone including his parents call him "Petey."

He'd put up with a lot of shit over ten years just for this.

"What the fuck, Ashleigh," he yelled. "I'm not upset over you fucking..."

"Making love..." she interrupted.

"Whatever..." he re-interrupted. "I'm not upset about you FUCKING Howie. I should probably be thanking Howie for allowing me to have sex with HIS woman for the past ten years."

Pete stopped what he was doing and yelled, "Howie come back so I can thank you."

Pete started looking through the drawers in their desk. He was pulling out all kinds of cards and slips of paper and carelessly throwing them all over the floor.

"Pete, Honey. What are you looking for?" asked Ashleigh curiously.

Pete stopped what he was doing and turned to look at Ashleigh. "Don't ever call me Honey again, Morticia," he spat.

"Why are you calling me Morticia?" asked Ashleigh quietly. She hoped that by keeping her voice down and using low tones she could calm her husband down.

"Okay, maybe I got the wrong name," spat Pete. "You should have probably been in that other movie, the seventh sense."

"Pete, there was no movie called the seventh sense. We went to see it together. It was called the sixth sense," said Ashleigh.

"No, Bitch," said Pete. "You got that wrong just like everything else. The seventh sense is the sequel. It's about a whore who cheats on her husband. He looks all over town to find the guys she's cheating with but he can't find them. Then he discovers that they're all ghosts. At the end of the movie she kicks out that classic line, "I fuck dead people."

Pete went back to throwing things all over Ashleigh's clean floor. "What are you looking for Pete?" she asked again. "Maybe I can help you."

"I'm looking for the phone number," Pete spat out viciously.

"Who are you going to call?" asked Ashleigh.

Pete turned to her and in the coldest voice Ashleigh had ever heard said, "Ghost Busters."

Ashleigh was sure she could hear the theme song in the background.

"Baby, I told you it only happened one time. For the past ten years I've been totally faithful to you. This was just overwhelming. It was a compulsion. It was something I just couldn't resist. If I hadn't done it, Howie would never have been able to rest. And maybe that was what was wrong with me too."

"Fuck Howie," snapped Pete. "Oh, Shit. You already did. That's why our marriage is over isn't it? Sorry I forgot. Being heartbroken does cause you to lose your focus."

"Pete, you can't be serious," said Ashleigh. "Our marriage can't end over this. You just don't get it. I love you now. I totally love you and only you now."

"Yeah Ashleigh, I get it," said Pete. "I'm sorry Honey, but you don't get it." He sat down in front of the desk he'd just ransacked. It got quiet. The only thing they heard was the droning just outside of his Mustang's powerful engine, waiting for its master to join it.

"Ash, I'm not leaving you because you fucked Howie," said Pete sadly. "I truly have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. I gave you my love with all of my heart and 100% of my attention. I married you because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted a wife, a lover, a best friend, a confidante and a mother to any children we'd be lucky enough to have. But that isn't what I got. What I got was to spend time with a woman who never really loved me the way I deserved. I got a woman who mentally blocked us from having the children we both wanted. I got a woman who basically wasted my time and a big part of my life being with me when she wasn't fully vested in our relationship. I didn't have a wife, I had a roommate."

"For the past ten years I gave you all of my love without restriction. You gave me only the little bits that you didn't hold onto for Howie. I think even you know that it wasn't a fair trade," said Pete.

Ashleigh with big tears streaming down her face began to speak, but Pete silenced her as he stood up.

"Don't bother saying it Ashleigh," he said. "I know what you're going to say. You've already said it. You love me, NOW. But after ten years of taking care of Howie's woman, I think I deserve to find someone who really loves ME. You can keep the house and everything I'm not taking. Fortunately, it won't be hard to get a divorce, because we don't have any kids. Maybe that was a good thing. I wouldn't have wanted my kids to be neglected by a woman who wished for most of their lives that they were someone else's children. Anyway, you can keep all of the money in the accounts. I can always make more. Don't try to find me. I don't ever want to see you again. If you try to fight the divorce, I'll just disappear. Shit, I won't be able to do that as well as fucking Howie does, either. But I'll give it a hell of a try."

Pete stood up and dragged his garbage bag towards the door. It would have been easier but Ashleigh was holding onto his legs trying to prevent him from leaving.

He opened the door and dropped the bag of his belongings onto their porch, then turned back to look at his wife one last time.

"Ashleigh, I really did love you and in a way I understand why you did what you did. It doesn't mean that I hurt any less for what you cheated me out of. But I understand it. You for most of your life were, "torn between two lovers." (God damn it, these song references won't stop coming.) You've spent the past 10 years with me, wishing that you were with Howie. I'm not a psychic or a witch or any of that shit. But as my passing gift to you, I do have a way that you can go to spend some time with Howie. Maybe that way you can figure out once and for all which one of us you belong with."

Ashleigh looked at Pete strangely. "I want to be with you, Pete," she cried. "I know that now."

"Well bitch, you can't be," spat Pete. "So give Howie a chance."

"But the psychic said it was a one-time thing," said Ashleigh. "He can't come back again."

"Nope, but I know two psychics who can help you go to him," said Pete. He closed the door to his car and revved his engine as he put it into gear.

Then he lowered the window and addressed Ashleigh. "Who are your psychics, Pete," she asked. "I have to go and see Howie. Not for what you think though. I need to curse him out for basically ruining my life, by staying in my memories. This was all his fault Pete. That's why he didn't have to move on. He was alive in my memories. Him being there didn't allow me to get over him either. I see now that I gave up a very real life for a childhood fantasy. "

"They're in the house," said Pete. "They're in the drawer of the bedside table. Their names are Smith and Wesson. They can arrange for you to be with Howie pretty fucking easily."

Pete drove off, with a heavy heart, tears running down both cheeks and a desire to move on. His senses seemed to be playing tricks on him though. He could have sworn he smelled the scent of sulphur that they always talk about that is present when ghosts are around.

He thought saw a ghostly image of Howie in front of him waving his hands frantically at him. He drove right through Howie's ethereal form and felt nothing. That left only his ears to betray him. Then he might have heard it. It was faint but Pete was sure that he heard the sound of a gunshot.

Happy Halloween. SS06

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Okay, that was the original ending to the story, but we're not done yet. Lets go back to that last paragraph. in fact let's just forget about the last three sentences. Ending number 2 picks up from there.

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Pete drove to a motel that wasn't very far away from his house. Almost as soon as he got into his room, his cellphone rang. He answered it, thinking that talking to anyone would be better than the despair he felt over losing the woman he loved more than life itself.

A part of his mind realized that like Ashleigh said it was a one-time thing that she had been compelled to do. But his ego told him that it was cheating all the same. The thing that hurt most was the fact that for all of the years that they'd been together, he'd always put her first in his life. Many times Pete had sacrificed his own wants to provide hers.

Knowing that he'd never truly been first in Ashleigh's life hurt him far more than the sex had. His entire marriage and a large chunk of his life was a lie. How exactly do you get over that?

"Hello," said Pete into the phone. His voice was hoarse and choked with emotion.

"Pete, please come home," cried Ashleigh. "We can work this out. I'm sorry. I love..." Pete hung up the phone without saying another word. He had neither the time nor the will to listen to Ashleigh's lies. Just listening to her made him sick. "We can work this out," she'd said. How? He wondered. Exactly how could they work this out? Did she have another psychic or maybe a witch doctor that could make Pete forget what he'd seen and maybe even make him forget Ashleigh's pathetic excuses and even more damning explanation? Who knew, maybe she did. It is Halloween he thought.

But that would be like Pete had simply surrendered his balls to her so he could go back to being shit on. Pete would continue to take care of Ashleigh's needs, while she truly longed for Howie. It was time for Pete to step up and be a man.

She'd also said that she was sorry. She was only sorry that she'd gotten caught, thought Pete. But Ashleigh wasn't half as sorry as she was going to be. She'd lived a comfy and pleasant life with Pete during their marriage. That was about to change. Pete wasn't going to divorce Ashleigh. Why should he pay money to lawyers, just so they and the courts could tell him he had to give that cheating bitch half of his shit? She had everything she was going to get from Pete. She wouldn't ever get another dime.

Tomorrow, when the banks opened Pete would withdraw most of the money out of his checking and savings accounts. He'd start new accounts in his name only. He wouldn't be totally cruel though. He would leave Ashleigh SOME money. The amounts that he'd leave her would be commensurate with her service to him as a wife. In each account he'd leave her a dollar for every year that they'd been married.

He'd leave her ten dollars in checking and ten dollars in savings. Just think about what she could do with all of that money. Well, she couldn't pay the mortgage, so she'd soon be out on her ass. Maybe Howie's relatives might take her in when she told them about her long lasting love for poor old Howie.

A better thing to do might be to invest the money in the lottery. She might get lucky and win. If she did, Pete would file for divorce and take half of it. And the best possible option might be for her to use the money for another session with the psychic. Maybe Ashleigh could find out how to get her head out of her ass, or even find her next sucker because Pete was gone.

And as far as her loving Pete; if, she loved him so God damned much why had she cheated on him? Even if as she claimed she loved both of them but in different ways, why not give Pete the facts and let him make a choice on how he wanted to spend his last ten years.

Why not ask Pete before she arranged her tryst with Howie? There were simply too many question marks attached to her concept of love. Pete could do without it.

The phone rang again. This time Pete looked at the screen and let the call go to voice mail. He grabbed his jacket off of the chair and left his motel room. Pete needed to stop thinking about that cheating bitch and clear his head.

Pete drove to a neighborhood bar that he'd seen on his way to the motel. On the way there he saw lots of ghosts and witches and goblins walking the streets carrying bags for people to put candy into. He had to admit that the kids' costumes were really great this year. They were a lot better than when he was a kid and he'd just take an old bed sheet and cut eye holes in it.

Some of the costumes, like Obama and Wolverine really were kind of realistic looking. He saw one little girl in an Octomom costume that had eight little baby dolls tied to it.

Pete pulled into the bar and went in. He grabbed his jacket out of the Mustang since it would probably be cold when he came out. Plus if things went the way he was planning he might be walking back to the motel. Pete didn't believe in drinking and driving.

Inside the bar, the lights were dim. Pete picked a table near the back so he could drink in private. There were very few people there, but a few of them were in costumes. Apparently the bar was having its own Halloween celebration. Supposedly there were going to be a few strippers too. That got Pete's attention.

Pete had been there for about 15 minutes when a tall thin Blond woman approached him. She looked at him and smiled and then tilted her head and looked at him again.

She must be a hooker, thought Pete. In his present mood and with all of the money he'd have in the morning, Pete decided that if she wasn't too expensive, she might be just the ticket to help him get over Ashleigh.

Even if he did go back to that cheating cow, she owed him one. She'd fucked Howie the ghost so he should get a free pass as well.

"Pete," said the woman. "Is that you?"

"Uh yeah," said Pete, wondering who the hell she was.

"I almost didn't recognize you," she said. "You've filled out. But it looks good on you. You always were a little too thin when we were dating."

Then it came back to him. "Janice?" he said. "Janice Miller?"

"In the flesh," she said. "I'm in town visiting relatives. May I sit down?"

"Sure," said Pete. "Please do." Janice had been the woman Pete was dating before he met Ashleigh and had been smitten by her. Pete and Janice had never been exclusive, so when he met and married Ashleigh there'd been no hard feelings. In fact Janice had wished him well.

"So how's uhm...your wife?" asked Janice.

"We're no longer together," said Pete sadly. It was all he could do to avoid breaking into tears. It still hurt so much. Pete's feelings still alternated between choking the shit out of Ashleigh and running back to her.

"That's sad. I'm so sorry," said Janice. But it really didn't look as if she was sad at all to Pete. Another thing that was weird was that Janice didn't appear to have aged a day since they used to date. It was probably just good genetics thought Pete.

"So are you married Jan?" asked Pete.

"I was," she said smiling. "He, uhm, died. He was killed actually. It was rather gruesome I'm afraid. He was killed in some sort of animal attack."

"God, that must've been awful for you," said Pete.

"No really," said Janice. "It happened only a few days after I discovered that the bastard was cheating on me. I was going to divorce him anyway. He was the second man to break my heart."

"Who was the first?" asked Pete trying to change the subject. He really didn't want to talk about cheaters anymore. It just seemed like the world has going through an epidemic of infidelity lately.

Janice looked at Pete and smiled. There was something about the way her eyes glistened that made Pete unsure of whether he wanted to bend her over the table and fuck her right there in the bar or run away from her as quickly as he could.

"The first one to break my heart was you, Pete," she said. Pete was surprised.