I followed Debbie down the hall in a zombie-like state. I felt numb, no, not even that. I just felt empty. I vaguely heard the claps and catcalls from my colleagues as if from a distance. I stopped for a moment, shaking my head, feeling a rough push behind me. I stumbled on.
We got to the car park and I simply stood there in front of my car. "Give me your keys, honey," I heard Debbie say. I did nothing. With an exasperated sigh, she reached into my pocket and I flinched, giving a strangled cry. I was not in any sort of command here. I am not ashamed of this now, although I have been when hearing about it afterwards in vivid detail. She tutted loudly and grabbed the keys from my pocket. She handed them over to Peter and said "You drive."
"No way" Peter grinned. "I am riding in the back with you." Debbie just shook her head and said no. Reluctantly, Peter took the keys and opened the car. Debbie bundled me into the back seat, aided by a less gentle Kevin. She walked around the car, climbing in beside me and Kevin got into the passenger seat. We headed off.
I cried again. I could do nothing to stop it. Debbie cradled me, making shushing sounds all the way. I saw Kevin's hand sneak round at one point, trying to slip up inside her coat and she slapped it away. "Wait!" she hissed. I cried and I moaned and I whined all the way home, drawing disgusted sneers from the two men. We finally got there.
I was dragged from the car, bundled through the door and pushed down onto a chair.
"Someone go fix him a drink," Debbie was all businesslike now. "I am taking a shower." She left the room. A glass was pushed into my unresisting hand. I looked up, saw the two faces in front of me, blurred and unclear. I said nothing. I couldn't.
"She is the hottest piece of ass I ever saw" said Peter, conversationally. "You were a very lucky man. I say were. Not so sure now. " They both grinned evil grins. "I almost want to say sorry but your wife can suck cock like a pro."
I still did not respond. It all washed over me. It's almost like I wasn't there.
"And that ass!" exclaimed Kevin. "Man she is tight and ready to roll. I will never get tired of fucking that sweet ass!"
Still nothing. They continued to goad me and I let it wash over me. My mind was in a terrible state. I would love to tell you the thoughts crashing around in my head but really, there were none. Time had no meaning. Nothing had any meaning. I was vaguely aware of the cold touch of glass on my lips. My head was tilted back and I choked as fiery liquid hit my throat. It woke me from the trance-like state slightly and my vision swam into focus, a freshly showered Debbie looking concernedly into my eyes. "That's it" she cooed. "Sip slowly now. It's alright. Everything is alright." I just looked at her, incredulous and confused. She stepped away from me, sitting on the sofa, Peter and Kevin on either side of her.
"John?" she said. "Can you hear me John?"
I nodded.
"I am truly sorry for this. But you have to know, that was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced. I have never felt so alive, so ...so...I am buzzing, John. I am just totally fucking buzzing. That was fantastic. I have no idea how many men were there....."
"Twenty two" said Kevin, still grinning.
"No," Peter corrected. "Twenty one. You can't call the mailboy a man!" They both laughed again. Debbie frowned at them.
"You two be quiet. This is too important." But I saw her blush at the memory of the mailboy.
"Listen, John. I know this is hurting you so bad and I hope you believe me when I say I am sorry. The thing is, I totally loved what I just did and I already want to do it again. It was so hot. Are you listening, honey?"
Every word was like a dagger in my heart. "Yes" I croaked.
"But I really don't want to lose you. I do love you, even though you probably don't believe a word of it. But I do. With all my heart. I hate seeing you like this and when this buzz wears off, I think I will hate myself for making you feel like this. You have to understand though, even if I do hate myself in the morning, I will still need to do this again. It's too wonderful to give up. So we need to work things out here and now."
I tried to respond. I tried to speak. My mouth was dry, my throat too tight to force out the words. Debbie came over to me, raising the glass to my lips, stroking my head as I drank.
"You can't do....my wife....love you" I whispered the words. "They....they.....not love ...you." Actually, if I am honest, I was probably not as coherent as that but she got my meaning.
"Oh honey!" she smiled. "This has nothing to do with love. What was it Peter called me? A fucktoy. That's all I am to them and do you know what? I love being a fucktoy. It's certainly not love from me, I know that. Its pure lust and I love that, not them. All I want from them is their cocks." She chuckled.
Once again, all she got from me was a moan. She went and sat back between them.
"But this changes our marriage in a huge way. You are probably going to want to leave me and that would break my heart. The boys say if you do leave me, they will make sure you go to prison for it. I have no idea how and I don't want to know. I know this is selfish but I refuse to lose you. I love you."
She leaned forward. "These guys might get my pussy or my ass, honey, and I know they will, often, but you are the only one who ever gets my heart. That's a promise."
Somehow, that snapped me out of it. The pure ludicrous nature of that sentiment brought me closer to reality and I looked up at her properly for the first time since returning home. Another dagger sliced its way into my already ravaged heart.
"How can you say that?" I demanded. "How can you say that after fucking all of those men right in front of me? How can you say you love me after doing what you just did? Are you joking?"
"Honey!" she replied, calmly. "I do love you and I hope, in time, when you get used to the new arrangements, you will understand that."