What Ind of Man I Am

Love the feedback folks. It is amazing to hear so many different thoughts on chapter 1 and what you think of Chip.

BTW- I see Paul Rudd as Matty in my head.

I'll try to flesh out the rest of the cast as we go!

We pickup the story outside of Matty's house on Saturday night. Chip has just found out 24 hours ago that his wife Joan has been plotting for a year to divorce him and is going to ambush him in 3 weeks.

Chapter 2

We ended up standing there for awhile. Hey! Wait a minute.

"Hey! You didn't say anything to Monica did you?"

"I may have mentioned you could use a hug."

"Fucker! I'm still married."

"Hey. Was it a nice hug? She said you were hunky! Or was that chunky?"

Matty attempts to look like he was really thinking about it. Hard to believe I have known this guy for 20 years.

"That's not the point. Chill on being my wingman. Umm, for now."

"Man, I'm sorry. I was pretty buzzed when I said it. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Awkward silence. We both stare off into the night.

"Let me see how this week goes man. I need to get back into her phone. My memory on the messages is shaky. I'm just so fucking mad!"

Settle down. Breathe. Unclench jaw.

"I really appreciate the offer for the house. The kids have a lot of say when it comes to where they're going to live."

Sigh.

"I better head out. Let me go say bye to Jacy."

"I'll touch base with my friend Brad tomorrow and we'll set something up."

I look at him. Matty claps me on the back as we head back into the house.

"She smells good doesn't she?"

"Fucker."

I drove home and was emotionally drained. I imagined I was at the top of a great big cyclone water slide with the family. Joan went to the edge.

"You go first Chip."

Whoops, I gave her push.

"Nope you first!"

Weird day dream. Music brought me out of my funk.

A killer song. I turn this one way up and even take a longer way home. Is this the Foo Fighters?

"There goes my hero Watch him as he goes."

Love the intro to this song. I might have to watch Varsity Blues this weekend.

I walked in the door around 11:30 pm and most the lights were out. I checked on the kids and they were both on their computers in bed. We gave each other a smile and a wave. Joan seemed asleep. I really wasn't up to sleuthing her phone tonight.

I walked back to the TV room and turned on ESPN. I sat there numb for awhile with really no cohesive thought going on.

Shit! It has only been 24 hours. Fuck! You don't love me? Fine! Not fucking cool to do it like this. To plan months out what day to tell your husband to fuck off.

My little voice was trying to get my attention. Something was nagging me about why she picked Thursday. Why not Friday or Saturday? We would have the weekend. Why plan it on the night I play ball?

Then it dawned on me. Fucking genius of her actually. To hit me with it after the basketball game. I play in a serious b-ball league with refs and scorekeepers. Most of the guys had played high school or college ball. I would be physically exhausted and then she would t-bone me emotionally. I probably would have just sat there in shock. I'm sure Joan would go to work the next day with no issue, How am I ever going to keep my shit together for 20 more days?

I'll try to get the messages tomorrow night and hold off on any more big moves until I read them all the way through.

My gut says it was already time for Evil Chip. There is so much smoke, guaranteed to be a fire. Oh. Who wants some? Who wants to have a little? You? You want some Joan? Huh? Do yah?

I slipped into bed. I was tired, but couldn't sleep. I day dreamed about what Monica would look like naked. Mmmm. The hug. She did smell wonderful.

Sunday August 13, 2017

Sunday morning came and like clockwork I woke up and bailed out the house before 8 am. I figured I would go workout first, then grab a coffee. Maybe some grocery shopping as well to give me time to think and visualize how I want today to go.

Hell. This is some serious cotton mouth. I only had 3 beers last night but I didn't have any water since yesterday at lunch. Water and Coffee first!

I arrived at the Y and did the elliptical for 30 minutes. Moving on to the free weights, I benched some 45lb dumbbells flat and inclined. Stepped it up to 50's and found I was struggling a little. Next time eat dummy. I switched to doing some curls with the 45's. My plan today was to do shoulders and the neck as well. Oh lord it has been too long. One workout completed!

I had to take a piss bad. Drinking 40 ounces of liquids in 30 minutes will do it. So I headed for the locker room. Have you ever been in the men's locker room of the Y? There always seems to be an old guy bare ass naked scratching his balls? Taking a leak and skipping the shower seems like a wise decision every time.

Things looked a little better at the grocery store. Shopping for food and getting treated to the occasional yoga pants honey. Love the yoga pants! Especially if they have some see through spots on the outer thigh and calf. Why does that turn me on so much?

Oh yeah. Cause your not getting any!

Stupid fucker.

With the shopping completed, I went home and unloaded. 10 am and nobody was out of their room yet. Chel came out first around 10:15 looking for some water. Kixx and Joan arrived a little later. I cooked some turkey bacon and eggs for everyone as they settled in around the table.

Straight forward. Here we go baby!

"Oh. Honey? Saturday I traded in the Highlander for a Jeep."

Kixx perked up and smiled. Chel looked up to look at her mom. Joan looked like I shot my load of you know what into her face! Which I have never done and do not want to! Okay, I'm waffling now. But it's just because I'm pissed at her. Kixx spoke up then.

"Mom! It's so cool. It's like a convertible. Your going to love it."

Now she was coming out of it and the color was going back to her cheeks.

"You bought a Jeep? Chip Jameson! We always discuss car purchases."

"Honey, you wanted a Subaru and we got you Subaru. There wasn't much of a discussion."

Let see how she handles that? She hesitated. The kids were present. She wants to lay down the law and verbally bitch slap me. Nope, didn't work. INCOMING!

"Mom. How about you drive it to Becky's for the pool party?"

Saved by the Chel!

We both talked at the same time.

"What pool party?"

She reminded us that she told us weeks ago and it was on the house calendar.

Summer has thrown us off. I had not been looking at the calendar at all. Yep, there it is. Jackson's pool party 3pm.

Joan was getting ready to say something. I wonder what excuse she will use?

So many easy choices. I'm too tired? Catch up on work? Or kids, you know my ass will burst into flames in direct sunlight.

"Honey. I don't think I can go. I still have some work to do and I told Laura I would stop by in the afternoon."

That was interesting. She was just there last night. Maybe just a little poke.

"Is everything okay with Laura? You guys overdo the girls night in last night?"

Real big smirk. The kids giggled. She gave me the look that meant your being a child.

"No we didn't overdo anything Chip. She just needs some help with some uh gardening."

Uh, Gardening? I call uh bull shit. That earned her another poke.

"Do you guys need help? I could take the kids to the party and swing by to help a little with digging. You know I've been working out at the Y. I could take my shirt off and you guys could rub lotion on me."

I puff my chest out. More giggling. I nailed it with my target audience.

"No. I think we can handle it Chip. When exactly did you start working out?"

Followed by the stink eye! Whatever.

"This morning. I just want to get into better shape. Kixx. I can show you some lifting and get you a membership too."

"Oh cool. Jimmy has one. We can play hoops."

Joan was frazzled. Jeep and the gym! I'm sure she is thinking midlife crisis. Suck on that sour pussy. Maybe she thinks I'm banging someone? I had to smile. On the inside of course.

Well, Another day out the house and away from The Kraken. Pool, BBQ, and horseplay. I may make it through this weekend yet!

I made my escape from the kitchen and started doing some lawn work and investigating the Jeep's sound system. As I came into wash up, I passed Joan on her computer. Saving up her strength for gardening?

I should just go over there and dick slap her with the Captain. Headline! Man slaps wife with penis! Can you be arrested for that? Probably assault.

We all got our own snacks around 1 pm. 2 pm rolled around and I told the kids we would leave in an hour. Mostly for Chel to get ready on time. I jumped in the shower and shaved. I figure I'd bust out the periwinkle V-neck that Joan says goes with my blue eyes. Shorts? I'll go with the swim trunks. Those rotten children will try to push me in the pool!

Everyone was ready on time and we did the shout from the front door.

"Bye Mom!"

"Have fun!"

We piled into the Jeep and jammed to a little music on the way over. Great song was on. At least to me. I love satellite radio!

"This time will be the last time that we will fight like this."

How is it some songs just hit you with how your feeling in that moment.

"I've been caught stealing once when I was five."

That perked me up.

We roll up on the Jackson house and jump out of the Jeep with our towels. The kids will go bananas and I'll have to drag them out to get them home. Wait a minute. It's Summer! We can stay later. Hooray for me! But school is right after Labor day. Crap! Back to school shopping. But it does get me out of the house. Lots of women at the mall. Glass half full Chip!

"Hey guys. We need to get your back to school shopping done soon."

My bobble head gang nods in response.

We made our way to the backyard. Now where are the beers? I spot the coolers and make a bee line for them.

I'm a friendly guy, so I made the rounds once I grabbed my first beer. Being a light weight I needed to be careful. But If I pounded 2 beers quickly, I can ride the buzz. Drinking three days straight was not something I planned on doing. I usually only have a drink once a week.

With the mingling done, I settled in to a chaise lounge with the second beer and just tried to enjoy the sun. My mind wouldn't relax though. My eyes wandered onto some attractive curves. No sex in 3 weeks is not going to help the situation. The Captain started whispering to me about getting some pussy.

"Chip! Look at the ass in the white shorts."

I love white shorts on women!

Her name was Theresa Porter. Her daughter Jessie is pretty close friends with Chel and Becky.

You could see her panty lines through the shorts. The Captain decides to add some mood music to my head.

Fucker.

"Stacy's mom has got it going on!"

The panties were the smaller bikini cut. Or was it a bikini bottom? Stop looking Chip!

She had to be only 105 pounds and not much taller than 5' 2". Her tits made my mouth water and on her frame, they looked impressive! You could see her puffy nipples poking through her tank top. She has long blond hair that you could wrap around your cock. Where the hell did that come from?

Stay down Cappy! Swim trunks, hard ons and neighborhood gatherings. Which one doesn't belong with the others?

I ending up retreating to the bathroom. I walked in and closed the door. I was looking at way too many titties. I'm gonna have to take matters into my own hand tonight.

I checked myself out in the mirror.

I look pretty good for 40. A little over six feet tall and last week weighed in at 195 lbs.

The Captain is solid and above average.. Ranking myself against the dads here? Complete package? I got be a contender right?

Then Joan crept back in my head. She might try to give me a good-bye fuck sometime between now and labor day.

You know what! If it goes down? I'll give her a fuck so hard she will never forgot it. I'll throw her legs up and pound that cervix like a jack hammer. Then spray her ass when I cum. Damn straight!

Fuck! I gotta take a piss and get rid of this hard on.

The bathroom door opened while I was trying to point my still hard dick down. Shit! I forgot to lock it. I tried to turn away.

"Oops!"

Fuck! Of course it was Theresa! Well that certainly shrunk me quickly.

I finally pissed and washed my hands. I reached for the door bracing myself for an embarrassing moment. I stepped out into the hallway and it was empty. Phew!

The first 20 minutes after that I avoided her. Then I said fuck it. So she saw my dick. I wasn't really paying attention and that is a mistake with my kids. In the pool I went!

Everyone thought it was so funny when my kids pushed me in with my shirt on. To be fair, I usually launch my kids into the pool first. After that, I devoted the rest of the afternoon playing volleyball and basketball in the pool.

"Alright everyone the food is ready!"

The food was great! There were ribs! I love ribs! I sat and ate with the adults, trying really hard not to perv for nipples and camel toes. Most of the parents I knew and we had interesting enough conversations. I thought I handled the question of where Joan was well.

It was after 6 pm and I had consumed 2 beers and 2 waters. So I decided I would have 2 more beers in rapid succession.

I was making my way back to the pool and saw Theresa. Her lovely hair. Those nipples again! Can she feel the pull from my dick? My tractor cock beam. Or is that cock tractor beam? I'm walking by the pool edge as she is coming the other way smiling at me. She's like an angel. Me? Bad Chip wants to fuck her on the steps of the pool and maul her tits. I'm such a Fucker!

As I got closer, I started to tighten up remembering the bathroom incident. What? That little minx hip checked me into the pool. She is walking off laughing. I'm all smiles too. Okay, things are cool with us at least. But, she is going to get it tonight when I'm in the shower!

I finally dragged the kids home after 9 pm. We had stayed to help clean up the outside.

On the way into the house, I checked my phone. Matty had fired off a text to me that we would meet up Monday at 5:30 PM with his friend Brad.

I sure do hope Joan took a pill and went to bed. She does have to get up at 5:30 am.

The kids went straight to there rooms and did their thing. I took a peak in on the dragon. She is asleep!

I went to the kitchen to check for her phone. Jackpot! Okay. So the only way I know how to get the messages without leaving a trail is to take a picture of them screen by screen in order. Going back as far as I needed. What a fucking pain. But at least the pictures I take will show that it is her phone. Maybe I should do a video before I start?

I tip toe to the toilet off the TV room and lock it! Always lock the door if your snooping or your doing anything with your junk. I just learned that today.

So, I did record a little video of me saying I had Joan's phone and that I was going to check her Facebook messenger and take some pictures of the messages. I pulled up the "I don't love him" message and read it out loud.

After that, I snapped the pictures but was going to wait till Monday to read the rest of them in my office. With that done, I headed for the shower.

In the shower, I just relaxed and let the warm water rain down on my back. I don't know how long I was just standing there.

Then I started to fantasize about Theresa's breasts and started stroking my cock. How would we hookup for a quickie at a pool party?

"Oops."

Theresa walked in on me in the bathroom while I was taking a leak.

"Oh. Chip I'm sorry"

She giggles. Someone is feeling good.

"Close the door woman!"

She does and comes over to me.

"I really have to go bad Chip."

"Hey! We can't cross our streams. It would bad!"

"Huh? Your so funny Chip."

I start shaking the Captain so everything was out. She's waiting but then drops her shorts and puts the seat down. She wiggles in and sits down grabbing my trunks before I can pull them up.

"Chip. Let me make sure you got it all out."

She's peeing and starts stroking me. Bamm! I'm and full length. She finishes peeing and drops her straps of her tank top while still stroking me. No bra in the dream sequence!

Then she starts licking my shaft and sucking my knob. I started a low moan and had a thought.

"Theresa did you lock the door?"

"Mmph hmmph"

Oh fuck. She starts slowing taking me a couple of inches at time. Pretty soon she is bobbing at 3 inches deep. Those lovely cherry red lips wrapping around my girth.

She's starts arching her back and has her breasts thrusting out. One hand on the Captain and one squeezing my ass. She is so fucking hot.

She takes a break and looks at her work. My cock looks as if baby oil is all over it. She rubs the glistening Captain on her lips like chapstick.

"Theresa you look so sexy."

She gets back to business by playfully nibbling at my shaft. Then she powers it down her throat as much as she can. She settles back in, bobbing down 5 inches at a time. She moves her other hand to my ass going hands free. Its the law in this state.

"Theresa. I'm going to cum soon."

She pulls off for second.

"I always swallow for the Captain, Chip"

She mounts those red lips right back on, grabbing my cock with one hand and my balls with the other.

Oh shit! I grab her hair with my right hand and wrap it around. I can feel I'm so close to blasting off.

When I started to cum, I grabbed her head with my left and my right was still holding her hair. I just pumped slowly in and out so we could both feel my cock spasming. She had her eyes closed and I could hear her swallowing.

Once I was done, I let go of her head. She pulls her mouth off and lets my cum dribble off her lips on to her breasts. She stroked me some more while looking up at me with her mouth partially open. She was going to say something?

I was close to cumming for real in the shower. Fuck yeah! The first shot was a long spidery fluid blast. I directed my load all over the far wall of the shower. That was a tremendous amount of buildup.

Evil Chip had an idea! I rubbed my hand on the wall with cum and put it on all over her conditioner bottle. That bottle is always kind of slick from the conditioner. Heh heh.

I'm leaving the cum on the wall too!

I'm felt tired enough to try and sleep. I crept into bed and fell asleep quickly.

Monday August 14, 2017

I woke up when Joan's alarm went off but kept my eyes closed. I normally didn't get out of bed till 6:45.

By the time I'm done in the shower, Joan is usually gone. It used to be she would say good-bye and give me a kiss. maybe even a fondle. When did that stop? I fell back to sleep smiling about the conditioner bottle. Enjoy my magical jojoba!

I arrived at work with an energy drink and a water. Man I was tired from all that sun and beer. I postponed looking at the messages until about 10 am when I had some time.

When 10 am rolled around I went to the first picture and reread the "I'm not in love with him."

Most of the other messages had comments about me being clueless, happy and stupid, asshole, etc etc.

She actually told Laura in October that she started siphoning cash by direct deposit. Well that is handy.

Then some of the messages were a little harder to swallow. This one was from the end of July.

"Last night was the last time. It was just sex. It's best to cut him off so it's not so difficult. I have my boyfriend in the drawer to get me through. LOL"

Then the next couple of messages from early August I read stopped me cold. They were said in jest. I didn't think they were funny at all.

"What I would give to travel the world. But the only way that is going to happen is if I win the lottery or Chips dies. A girl can dream. JK!"