What If ...

Contents: British English spelling and grammar throughout. The end is perfect - live with it.

I'm always fascinated with how husbands find out about the cheating. And I think you'll agree that coming home early / strange car / bedroom door ajar / have been done to death. So I wondered if a man could uncover the truth in 750 words!

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What if ...

"What if I said I've been getting suspicious lately, and think you're having an affair?"

"I'd say you're paranoid."

"And if I said I may be paranoid, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong?"

"I'd say you're wrong."

"It's late, where did you go tonight?"

"Luigi's wine bar, we girls always go there."

"What if I said I don't believe you?"

"Then you're paranoid and wrong."

"But what if I told you I actually went to Luigi's wine bar tonight, and I couldn't see you, or the girls, anywhere?"

A pause.

"I'd say we were in a private room; for ladies only. You wouldn't have been allowed in there, even if you did know where it was."

"I don't believe you."

"Then you have a problem. I don't."

I leaned forward and raised my voice.

"What if I told you Luigi's had a power cut while I was there? Everybody left over two hours ago!"

A longer pause.

"OK. We usually go to Luigi's but not tonight; we went to the Royal Albert Hotel."

"And why did you lie?"

"Because the hotel is very expensive, and we're supposed to be saving money."

"Well, what if I told you I only found out about the power cut on my way home? I actually followed you first. You did not go to the Albert, you went somewhere else. And none of the girls went with you!"

She started to cry.

"And what if I now tell you, the truth is your only way out of this. I may forgive an affair, but I will not forgive more lies. This is your last chance. I want the truth. Who is he? How long have you been fucking him? Don't leave out any details, because you don't know how much I already know. One lie and we're through."

She brought her crying under control.

"I'm so sorry. It's just been a crazy fling. Luigi's had a band about three weeks ago, and he asked me to dance. A group of lads did - they danced with all of us. We were all feeling horny and most of the girls went home with them. I went to my guy's car and gave him a blowjob."

"Just a blowjob?"

"The first time, yes."

"The following week?"

"The other lads weren't there, only him. He came to our table and bought us all drinks. Then sat next to me. You know what the girls are like; most are single and they egged me on. We went to his car again."

"And fucked?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"He sat on the back seat and I sucked him till he was hard. Then I took my panties off, so they wouldn't get soiled, and sat on him. He can't come in that position so I finished him with my mouth."

"Details. Did you come?"

"Yes. He wasn't as good as you, nor as big, but it was exciting; just being naughty. I put my panties back on, and went back into the bar and finished my wine. I didn't want you to know of course, so made sure there was nothing in my undies or in my mouth."

"How many more times, and where?"

"Only once more. Tonight I didn't go out with the girls at all, as you know. I went to his apartment."

"Anal?"

"No! That's just for you! This last time with him, I was there for two hours. But we only did it the once, and it wasn't exciting at all. He spent most of the time talking about his ex. When I left, I told him that was our last time. He didn't seem bothered. Can you please forgive me?"

"I warned you that if you didn't tell me the truth, it's over."

"That was the truth!"

"What I did not say is - it's over anyway."

She covered her face and wept.

"And I notice you haven't asked after your girlfriends. What if they moved on somewhere else without you?"

"Did they?"

"I have no idea. They probably stayed drinking at the wine bar, as usual."

"What about the power cut?"

"As far as I know there wasn't a power cut."

"What do you mean? You said there was!"

"Big deal, I lied. Like you've been lying to me. So, what if you just go upstairs, pack your stuff, and fuck off. Now! And while you're up there, ask yourself this: What if I've actually spent the whole night here, just watching tv?"