It's a ghost town inside Waverley station, I search the departure board to locate the platform where I board the 23.25 Edinburgh to London Caledonian sleeper. I'm exhausted as I been awake since 6am and now regret the decision of not booking a private cabin so I could sleep and not be disturbed.
Platform 2, I decide to go to the bathroom to freshen up! Looking in the mirror I caught my reflection as water trickled down my face. I hardly recognise myself these days, I see a shadow of the woman I once was, full of life and hope for the future, instead I'm now questioning my life choices and at which part did it all start to go wrong. Fuck, there is no way I can get onto the train looking pale, tired and despondent. I reapplied make up hoping it would make me look less ......... I don't know.....less something.
I boarded the train, bag in one hand and hot chocolate in the other and navigated my way to my seat. I removed my book of choice from my bag as I needed to fill the time on the 6 hour 50 minute journey, stowed my luggage in the overhead storage compartment. I settled in my seat and observed other passengers board the train, so far the seat across from me was empty and I hoped it would stay that way. The train doors closed and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Sorry can I get in there please" the voice of a male insisted. I rolled my eyes, FUCK, just my luck. It's going to be a very long 6 hour 50 minute journey trying to make small talk with a complete stranger. I open my book and start to read so I don't have to make eye contact with him! Immediately I regret my choice of book, fifty shades of grey. I'd have been less inconspicuous if I had a sign around my neck in bold letters, middle aged woman, sexually deprived......what the fuck was I thinking when I decided on this novel knowing I would have strangers glance at my reading material and make judgment of the woman behind the book.
"Interesting choice of book, have you seen the movie?" the stranger asked. I daren't look up, I hope to god he wasn't speaking to me, I could feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment. "I don't bite... promise" he said playfully. I looked up from my book with the intention of replying courteously, I opened my mouth but no sound escaped "Cat got your tongue" he teased. Infront of me was the most attractive man I have ever laid eyes on. His striking silver hair gleamed, his eyes were almost hypnotic and a smile that could melt the Antarctica.
All I could manage was a slight smile to acknowledge him and reverted my eyes to my book. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm a total idiot, I've literally reverted back to my teenage years and how I used to be with my high school crush.
"Hi, I'm Sam, nice to meet you!" the stranger pronounced as he held out his hand to shake mine.
Very gingerly I replied "Hi I'm Emily" as my hand touched his a thunderbolt pulsated through my entire body, I've never felt anything like that in my entire life.
"So have you seen the movie?" He reiterated.
"Erm yes actually I have" I managed to stutter.
"So what's better, the movie or the book?"
My brain was trying to figure out a response but unfortunately I began to blurt "I prefer the book as Christian Grey is so much sexier in my head." Awwwww fuck Emily, I reprimanded myself, did you actually just say that out loud.
Sam gazed at me intently, "Is that so, do you want to enlighten me?"
"What I should have said is I perceived Christian to be more attractive than the character that plays him in the movie" I rectified.
"So what's your idea of attractive, Emily?" The beautiful stranger purred.
All I wanted to say was "You" however I managed to compose myself before answering. "I don't have a type as such" I said nonchalantly. His gaze literally set me on fire, I've never experienced sexual tension like this. My heart raced, butterflies had taken residency in my tummy, I imagined his bare skin touching mine, how it would feel to kiss him all over his body and have him hold me in his arms.