Wendy Confesses Ch 05

I am back, dear reader and still excited by my secret lifestyle and still happy to share my "confessions" with you. There has been a lot going on for me lately and I feel as if it does me good to share that with you.

As you can see, I've already shared a lot of thoughts and my experiences. Some of those things still make me feel shame. But I truly feel as if I know myself now and I can no longer escape the seriousness of my situation.

For more than two years I have let myself behave in a most slutty and wicked way. I would say even "evil". I have enjoyed it all and I let myself think of it as "a little bit of fun" or a phase in my life. Yet, in the end I am faced with the truth of what I am.

I am a cheating wife, a slut and a whore. I crave sex with other men, even strangers. I lust after men with big muscles and big penises. When I lust after them enough I go looking for them to screw me. I masturbate far too much and I even enjoy watching porn on-line. I am at the top of my sexual peak. Most of the world thinks of me as a typical woman in her early forties - a sweet wife and mother. Yet, I sometimes I imagine I am the type of woman who will go straight to hell.

At the time I last revealed my doings, the details of my secret life, I mentioned that perhaps I had run my race. I was asking myself whether I'd had enough of my lifestyle and was ready to return to more "proper" ways that a woman in my position should adopt. Part of me wanted to try "going straight". Now I see that it was more a kind of wishful thinking.

Instead, my lust and my dirty needs got the better of me. What happened is that I went back to Michael. Yes, Michael - my first fling and the man who helped to unlock the greedy sexual slut inside me. Part of me feels ashamed and weak about going back to Michael for more sex. I had thought about leaving him behind, banishing him from my thoughts, as an attempt to ignore how far I have travelled down this road to become a low creature, an unfaithful woman. But I have been fucking him again. I must admit it has been wonderful, just as it was the first time.

I suppose I should say that I didn't go straight from Joe to Michael. I did end things with Joe as I had predicted. Young Joe made me feel so alive and so exhilarated. He taught me many new things, sexually, and I discovered that even when I was being "nasty" or slutty I could feel so wonderful and satisfied.

He also had a great mouth that he used so well on my pussy. I still miss that sometimes. And of course he was the first man to introduce his cock into my bottom. Looking back it seems like such disgraceful behaviour for me to receive anal sex from a younger man. But I did - that is the truth. And I actually enjoyed it, which surprised me.

Anal fucking was exciting because it was so "wrong". And the sensations I received were wonderful. Going that far with Joe made it easier for me to let him do other things as well. He was a strong-willed young man who liked to take charge in bed. When he wanted to cum on my face I felt so weak and dirty and yet, for him, I was glad to consent and allow him that pleasure.

Because I am a whore I started seeing a new man even before I ended things with Joe. So, for a short time, I had two lovers "on the side". I felt that was too risky, however, and so I decided it was a good time to stop seeing Joe.

The other guy had made his move with me on-line. I did my usual checking. I have become more careful after a couple of disappointments. He was about my age and he had the required attributes - he had a fit, athletic body and a nice-sized penis.

As I have admitted before, those are my minimum requirements for a lover. At home, in my marital bed, I get love and loving from my husband. From other men I demand a big cock and a physical screwing.

As for my husband, I am quite sure that he suspects me now. Perhaps it was always going to happen. After all, I have been having a lot of sex with other men. Twice now he has made a small comment or asked me a question and I am sure he has some inkling of what I do. On the other hand, these days I have more sexual energy than ever so hubby has been getting lots of requests for sex from me. I am sure its all to do with my sexual peak and, honestly, he has never complained about that!

This new lover turned out to be not up to my standards. He had a lean and fit body. I also will admit he had a good-looking penis. The trouble was that he wasn't especially good at using it. And he wasn't all that keen to use his mouth on me.

He did like to fuck me long and hard and that was always a pleasure. Most times he wanted to take me from behind and I was only too happy for him to do that. Missionary position is a fine way to make love to my husband, When I am "out", however, it is exhilarating to feel like animals when I am on hands and knees with a hunky man banging into me, filling me up and going deep into me. In between, this man loved to have me fondle his big penis and many times I took him into my mouth. He claimed his wife rarely did that and she never had permitted him to cum in her mouth. You know, before I even say it, that I milked him with my mouth a number of times and always was rewarded with him thrusting his hips up to me, straining until he released his seed into my mouth for me to drink him all down.

But this one could not last, I am sad to say. I know how that makes me look. The cheating, unfaithful woman who dares to be critical of the men I choose to let fuck me in secret. But if you think about it maybe you will understand. Yes, I have chosen to behave like this and to enjoy my secret lifestyle. But I take risks, more than most men, and I do that only because I have needs to fulfill. After a short time it was clear that this guy was not able to really pleasure me in the way I wanted.

But around that time I was starting to see more of Michael at work. It had been a long time since I'd really thought of him sexually. It was clear, though, that he still thought of me in that way. I admit that it occurred to me that he assumed I was an "easy" slut who would fall for his charms again. On the other hand, the coincidence was too good to ignore. I knew I was still looking for more illicit sex, I knew I had a desire for more of my secret pleasures. With Michael I was assured of a great body and a fantastic penis. He wanted to use me for sex and I remembered how good it had been the first time.

Oh my - I think that Michael has the best physical attributes of any man I've been with apart from young Rob. Certainly his muscles are bigger and harder than any other man I've had sex with. His penis is not the largest (that honour rests with Robert) but there is no question he is big and, what is more, knows how to use it.

The first time he "caught" me after work. It was a rare occasion where I'd stayed back to complete some paperwork. I was wearing a skirt and Michael was in his shorts. I don't recall exactly how it started. I knew he'd been flirting with me and making it obvious he wanted me still. Somehow we began kissing and then he was pulling me closer. His big muscles were having the same old effect on me and I could not find a way to resist. I did nothing to stop Michael when he slid a hand under my skirt. When he pulled aside my underpants to expose my pussy I just panted harder and, the slut I am, allowed my legs to part for him.

It was quick and rough. He made me cum on his fingers. Then, before I'd even finished, he turned me and bent me over the desk. I have never ever had sex in an office before! I was a little afraid we'd be discovered. It seemed so public. But when I felt Michael lifting my skirt I knew I wouldn't fight him. Maybe he was as desperate as me because on this occasion I didn't even get the chance to go to my knees and suck his fine cock into my mouth.

When I felt him take out his cock I shivered with anticipation. Michael still had the same power and control over me. The kind of strength I used to fantasise about before I started fucking other men. I knew from experience that his cock would feel amazing inside me.

He gripped me with one hand. "Your arse is really something," he growled to me. I flushed with pride and sexual heat.

"Thank you," I said with a grin, though I felt a little silly saying that. Then I gasped aloud as I felt the first touch of his penis against my pussy lips. He was spreading me with the tip of his shaft and I almost couldn't wait. I was getting more and more wet as he pressed into me. I just relaxed against the desk and waited eagerly for what was about to come.

Michael groaned as he entered me and I did the same! I suppose its true to say I had missed Michael and his fabulous cock. Oh yes, going back to those first times we screwed, in truth I knew that he was just using me. But there was no denying how good it always made me feel. Now I had this big, muscly man with his gorgeous cock fucking me again after such a long time.

He started slowly and I was grateful for that. I had to adjust to his size again. It wasn't long, though, before I was pushing back, trying to take all of his size inside me. Michael might have noticed, though I cannot be sure, but soon he was really going hard. I could sense the desk moving under the force of his pumping into my slutty pussy. He was really filling me up - a sensation all women love I am sure. It was only a couple of minutes and I was cumming, hard, unleashing my juices all over his bare cock as it banged into me.

Michael came soon after me and I was thrilled to hear his noise as he reached his climax and released his semen. "Oh fuck Wendy, you're good." was about all he said. I grinned because I know its true.

I was still nervous about getting caught. So we both dressed and left quickly and I didn't get to play with his cock that night.

However, we repeated our little game a few nights later. I'd made an excuse to stay at the office late. Michael made me cum with his fingers and then he sat me on a chair while he filled me with his cock. After I had cum several times, trying desperately to contain my moaning, he positioned me over the desk once more. "I want to see that arse again," he told me and I simply complied with his demand. He slammed into me just as hard as that first night, as if he was really hungry or deprived of sex. It felt so raw and so exciting to be taken like that.

This time, after he had finished cumming, I was determined to have some fun with Michael's cock. So as soon as he pulled out, before he could clean himself or hide it away, I took hold of his shaft and gave him a big smile. He was still quite hard and he felt warm as well. Of course he was all wet and slick with my juices and his cum. The head was as big as ever and his veins still looked thick and dark against the wet skin.

Slowly, trying to keep it sexy for him, I went down to my knees and very carefully took him into my mouth. I am sure Michael was shocked by me doing such a thing. I was worried about letting him know I'd been sleeping with other men. But I couldn't resist him. I made sure not to do too much as I know the head of his cock gets sensitive after his climax. But let me say it was exhilarating to taste him again and to taste his penis with a thick coating of our juices.

Later, when Michael asked me about that little show of mine, I just laughed it off and told him that I had missed his penis very much. And I'd loved the feeling of him in my mouth as he slowly got softer after his orgasm. He was satisfied by that answer which was good.

Something in my head was telling me it was a mistake to go back to Michael. Part of it was about risk. I suppose you might say I had "gotten away with it" the first time as we'd not been caught and I was certain that our co-workers suspected nothing.

The other part was that I did feel like a slut going back to him. Now he knew I loved sex with him and that I am "easy" when it comes to his desire for me. No woman likes to be thought of in that way, even a cheating wife like me. I guess it was foolish of me to trust Michael. But we both wanted the same thing and, after all, I'd found it impossible to resist him the first time. He still wanted me, sexually, and that gave me the same, familiar thrill.

Eventually I repeated my past behaviour and one afternoon I took him home and we fucked in my bed. This time I was really nervous that we'd be caught out. Surely even one of my neighbours would wonder about me coming home with a different man. It was dangerous but I wanted him and I didn't want to keep having sex in the office.

Well you can assume that I was on my knees almost as soon as the door was shut. I know it makes me a cheap whore. I am a little ashamed at myself for acting like that but there is no point pretending I don't adore men's cocks. Besides, I'd done it for Michael many times before so what did it matter? I like my men to be big and powerful and whenever I am with a guy like that it just feels right to go to my knees so I can feel his hardness in my mouth.

On top of that, Michael still has his great body. I got to lick and suck his big, thick penis while at the same time I could touch his muscles. I rubbed his legs and his butt and Michael still has something of a washboard stomach so I made sure to enjoy that as well. I know Michael noticed that I was much more confident at giving him pleasure with my mouth. He didn't comment and he did not complain!

Michael is somewhat "meat and potatoes" as a lover so we used the same old positions for our screwing. I didn't care at all. I just wanted him inside me. I wanted to feel his strength and his weight as he took me. It was a thrill to be able once again to feel his rippling muscles and his impressive strength. We went at it for a long time, him still displaying the same stamina that had turned me on so much the first time.

For a long time we were using the missionary position. I reveled in his power as Michael took charge, thrusting deep and hard. I even wrapped my legs around his waist, trying to signal how much I was enjoying his prowess as a lover and a man. He made my boobs jiggle and shake and that made it feel even better.

I was so excited to discover that Michael still lusted after me, that he still enjoyed my body. As I have said before, the truth about me is that I have a need for sex with different men. But I also need them to enjoy me and be excited by me.

I wasn't sure if I could match his stamina. It even felt a little like he was punishing my "dirty" vagina. That thought turned me on, I have to be honest.

After a long time Michael didn't want to wait any longer. We were in the doggy position by then and I had climaxed so many times I'd lost count. Suddenly Michael withdrew from me and the next thing I heard the unmistakeable sounds of his orgasm. Then I felt something on my back! Yes, Michael was shooting his orgasm onto my skin and over my back. It was so different and so wonderful to have his warm fluid splashing onto my skin. Maybe the fact I was more confident now gave him the idea to give me such a treat. It was the first time I'd ever experienced something like that, although I did let Joe cum on my face many times. Oh my, it was such an erotic act for Michael to do that.

When he was done I rolled over and gave him a big smile. "Did you like that?" I asked him in sexy voice, still aroused from the sensations of his cum landing on my back. He just grinned at me. I remember stroking his balls and his cock while he softened and the rest of his semen oozed from his tip. I am not sure if its because I give men more oral these days, but I have found that I really enjoy their cum and playing with it under my fingertips. Its just part of the new woman I have become.

That night, in the same bed, I made love to my husband. Making love - its so different to be intimate with my husband compared to the way I behave with my "other men". I imagine you want to know if I felt guilt right then. Well, the honest truth is that I did feel a little of that but, as I say, when I'm making love to my husband its just so different. It's still very enjoyable and satisfying in that special way. I wanted my husband right then and I wanted to give myself to him in that most intimate way. It had nothing to do with guilt although, being honest, fucking two men in one day does make me a slut officially.

And the fact is that I was still feeling very sexy after screwing with Michael earlier that day. He had left me sore but that only made it feel better take my husband's penis inside me. I rubbed my breasts all over my husband's shaft till he was hard enough to explode and then I begged him to really make love to me. "Show me I can still get you excited," I said to him. That night hubby, too, gave me an extra long session. After he had flooded my cunt with his own seed I lay there, panting and feeling like a real woman. I know - I am an awful creature.

After another week of sex like that with Michael I knew I had to do something. I was definitely taking too many risks. So I made sure it was harder for Michael to tempt me, leaving work earlier on certain nights and so on. Soon things settled down to sex once every two weeks, which was much better than twice each week.

Well, another confession - not one you'll be surprised at. It wasn't "better" at all in the sense that I had to go without that beautiful cock. Yes, I say that word now. I even say it in front of Michael who was a little surprised at first. He was also a little shocked to see my shaved pussy - my cunt! Luckily he has never actually asked me about it.

My brain said to be careful and not be caught. I resorted to masturbating more frequently, at least once every day and using my toys to fill myself up. But my body, well if you must then my cunt, was telling me I needed more of Michael and his big member. For some reason these days, I just need something large and hard like that to fill up my married pussy on a regular basis.

But there is no question my confidence is up now. I still like it when Michael takes control of me. Oh my - some nights in the office he doesn't even ask me. He doesn't bother to give me any foreplay. He either puts his hand on my bottom or he grabs me and kisses me, pressing his hard thing against me. The next thing I know I am sucking him or being fucked. Its so thrilling to feel that passion from him and to know that he is going to lose control and spurt his cum inside me.

If I think about it, I guess I realise that part of not being in control is about feeling less guilty. Its silly, I know, but I don't have to admit to being a slut if Michael is "forcing" himself on me. With that powerful body of his I don't think I'd be able to resist him even if I wanted to.

Mind you, I did start wondering about the "other half" - those people who prefer to be the one taking the lead. I liked those people, those men, and they always made me feel very sexually excited.

These thoughts were only made stronger by Lauren. I spend a lot of time these days reading blogs and looking at emails from people on those dating sites. That's where I met Lauren and that's when I started to think about sex in a different way.

I've never met her in person. Although I realised early on that Lauren was keen to have sex with me its just not something that I want. I am not made that way, I am afraid. That will disappoint a few readers! I have nothing against women who are bi-sexual or lesbian. I have even found myself watching a bit of porn that I've stumbled across on-line showing women making love to each other or involved in threesomes. Some of it is quite enjoyable. So it was a little flattering that Lauren wanted me to get intimate with her.

Lauren was keen on me more for the fact I am a little bit "submissive". I've never used that word on-line but Lauren told me she could "read the signs". That intrigued me. What got my interest even more was that I wanted to know "how she did it". How did Lauren go about taking charge and being "dominant"?