Thanks to everyone who has offered constructive criticism and supportive feedback. This story can be read on its own. However, people interested in what brought me to this point should start with “WG – Day One” and read about the previous two days.
I know that I’ve told you that I sleep really well when I am near the ocean, but as I fell asleep that Saturday night I was essentially passing out from physical and mental exhaustion. The images of that night – the images of my Jim and one of his best friends, Sam, touching me and cumming because of me – were difficult to forget and I fell into a fitful sleep that I knew would mean awakening again in the middle of the night. So it was not a surprise when I jolted out of a dream around 4 am and looked around the bedroom that we had taken over for the weekend. Jim seemed to be sound asleep at my side so I made it a point to remain still as my mind began to race again.
I suppose one might think that I was ashamed of my activities. I had bounced back and forth between the bedrooms of these two men is search of pleasure, both given and received. But I felt no shame. I felt pride. And that deep sense of satisfaction and pride drove my thoughts forward. After all, I wasn’t a teenager who might choose to do things on a whim or because of an extra glass of wine. I had chosen to help Sam on Friday night and I had been with both men sexually on Saturday (but not together, one at a time) because of MY decision. I had pleased them (of that I was sure) and they had pleased me so there was no sense of shame or regret as I lay there in the dark. On the contrary, my thoughts were riveted on replaying the scenes in my head and inevitably my thoughts also turned to the future.
Sunday lay ahead of us and I could take the weekend as far as I wanted. The one nagging thought I had, though, was Jim’s reaction to my escapades. It is one thing to say that it is okay for your girlfriend to be with another man and another to see her returning to your bed with his seed running into her eyes. I knew that there was the potential for major regret on Jim’s part after the fact, despite his consoling words of the day before. I had to know what he was thinking so I turned and buried my body against his in hopes of awakening him.
It didn’t take long before my movements and caresses brought him out of his sleep. I particularly loved it when he woke up next to me and came back to reality at the sight of me. I could usually tell how much he loved me by the way he reacted subconsciously to the awareness that this was his life and that I was his girl. I watched him closely that night to see if his initial, uncontrolled reaction to the sight of me would change. Thankfully it did not as he smiled sweetly and reached his right arm around me. “Hey, baby, are you having trouble sleeping?” he asked.
“I was just thinking about things. It’s been kind of a crazy weekend, huh?” I watched Jim closely. As his consciousness cleared and he conjured up the images from the night before he grinned broadly and pulled me to him. “I know that you said that you accepted my actions and everything, Jim, but I really love you – maybe now a lot more than I did two days ago – and I need to hear you say it again.”
There was a silence that I hadn’t expected and with my face resting against his chest I couldn’t see the expression on his face. I remember hearing my heartbeat and thinking it was getting louder in the dark silence. I caught my breath as he began to speak.
“Candi, will you marry me? That’s how accepting I am of everything you did, everything that you do and everything that you are going to do. I don’t want a wife or a lover who is soft and gentle and predictable. I want my life to be full of fun and change and experiences. I want to wake up every day and wonder what exciting thing will happen to me by the time I go to bed. I want to feel like I did when I was ten years old and it was the first day of summer. I want my life, I want OUR life, to be a series of endless possibilities. I need a strong, loving woman and I thank the heavens that I have found her. I am not going to let you go, unless you decide you must and even then it will be a fight to the death.”
I knew that this was not a for-real, down-on-one-knee, ring-in-hand proposal from Jim, but rather a statement of commitment and acknowledgement that the other type of question would be popped at some appropriate time in the future. However, being a woman, I had to make sure. “Oh no you don’t, buddy. Where’s the wine? Where’s the fancy jewelry box? Where’s the seven-course meal?” We both laughed. “You’re going to have to do a lot better than that to get me to the altar, you loser.”
I lifted my head and kissed Jim passionately. I could feel his erection below me and I lifted one leg over him so that he could slide into me. Our act had none of the frenzy of the previous nights but it somehow underlined the commitment that we had just discussed and the direction that we both knew our love was rapidly heading towards. It was the kind of lovemaking that you can only have with a serious partner – steady, comfortable, with an accent on the love and a disregard for the making. After a few minutes I felt Jim stiffen slightly beneath me but his orgasm lacked the intensity of the previous evening for obvious reasons. We settled back into a hug and shared the silence for a while.
“Candi, I talked to Sam yesterday and he mentioned your concern about his saying anything about this weekend. He assured me that it would remain confidential.”
Now, I am not naïve enough to know this was true. At some point, in about twenty years, I would hope that Sam would regale a group of strangers about the events of the weekend. I hoped that he would mention me obliquely and remember me fondly as he detailed his thoughts, feelings, and actions. I hoped that he would treat the memory of me kindly. But I wanted him to keep the story for sometime down the road. I wanted his silence for the time being so that Jim and I could continue our life’s journey together without the interference of others, well-intentioned or not. The sincerity of Sam’s words, as related by Jim, rang true.
Jim continued as if he were reading my mind. “I mean I am sure that he will have to say something about it to someone down the road. It’s a great story. But I know he will keep our confidence and our anonymity. He promised me and I trust him.” The odd thing was that I trusted Sam as well. When I was with him last night he was scoring very high on my personal sincerity meter and that is a tough lie detector test to beat. As our bodies touched the previous night, I felt that in some way Sam actually loved me – not in the way that Jim did with lifelong commitments on the horizon, but in a way that made me know he was pleased not just sexually but emotionally. I trusted Sam and in that trust I began to form an idea for what the third day of our weekend getaway would bring. My questions had been answered by Jim and my consciousness began to slip away, to be replaced by sweet dreams of the future, both near and far.