People who think that your first name does not help determine your fate are invariably named Bill or John or Mary. They are safely anonymous behind their plain vanilla name and never have the world prejudge them or pigeon hole them based on their parent's whim alone. But take it from me, Candi - a name can dictate how others first perceive you and sway their ultimate treatment of you.
I would like to think that my parents had some fascination with Voltaire and shortened the outdated Candide for my sake – but I know better. It was the early 70s in America and my parents were rebellious (let us say with a wink), so they functioned within the barely socially acceptable boundaries of that freer time. "Candy" was a euphemism for any number of now heavily illegal substances that constituted their realm of pleasure and undoubtedly I was the result of one such night of intense pleasure. I'm sure they thought it cute to name me Candi. They thought of it as the ultimate inside joke (which proves how wasted they must have been at the time). Don't get me wrong. I love my parents and appreciate all that they have done for me. But the name they placed upon my head in 1972 has moved my life in ways that they could never have predicted.
I suppose it didn't help any that I also inherited my mother's beautiful features and (eventually) her somewhat intriguing figure. The world looked at me, heard the name Candi and immediately wrote me off as an air-head, an object, a thing. The jokes began early and never stopped through grammar school and high school. I was "sweet to look at", I would "melt in your mouth", and I gave wonderful "Hershey kisses". Even when I couldn't hear the particular comment made by a group of leering guys, I knew from their raucous laughter what they were talking about.
Even boyfriends couldn't resist the temptation of wooing me with their puns and commercial take-offs. Each of them would use the same tired lines and look at me as if I should marvel at their unique wit and intelligence. I learned to smile weakly lest they be crushed but their lack of novelty always weighed heavily against them. I learned to appreciate anyone who would get past my name on first being introduced which is why I became so attracted to my future husband, Jim, when we were introduced. Somehow without talking about it, he knew how my name had dictated so much of my life. He never mentioned it (and god, that was refreshing because even people who didn't make fun of it, ALWAYS wanted to talk about my name). It wasn't until much later – after I was totally in love with him and I think he was in love with me – that he finally verbalized any recognition of the burden I had to bear. One night he started calling me his "Joy" and it stuck as a pet name. He used it in passing and he occasionally used it while making love to me. I came to love it as well – and much later he ventured the origins of the name. He said I reminded him of an Almond Joy because I was "indescribably delicious". It was his first candy reference but it was very subtle and, yes, it was very sweet – pun intended.
Jim and I have had many exciting sexual adventures in our lives both before and after the one that I am about to relate. I have chosen to tell you this one because it was my first mature awakening to all that sex should and could be. It was a slow awakening as you will see. I am not one of those wives who suddenly decided to take on a barroom full of studs, but I hope you will enjoy the story just the same.
It happened when I was 21 and Jim and I were recently engaged. My sister and her husband had a house near the Rhode Island beaches and they were traveling abroad so they offered us the use of their home for a long weekend getaway. We jumped at the chance and when Jim's friend, Sam, heard about it he asked if he could tag along since he was an avid windsurfer and the area was perfect for that sport. I guess we sort of assumed that Sam's on-again off-again girlfriend Jane would be joining us but she had to work that weekend so it turned out to be just the three of us. I have always enjoyed Sam's company so there was no problem.
It was an early June weekend – clear and sunny – when the summer was just beginning and it seemed like it would never end. I packed a few things for the trip and at the last minute I threw on a new outfit that I had just made, a short skirt with a matching top made out of a white cotton with small blue stripes. I hadn't really thought much about it but when I got into the car, it was clear that it was having some effect on the boys. Jim kept mentioning how great it looked on me and Sam agreed both verbally and silently as I noticed he continued to steal looks at my legs in his rearview mirror on the drive down from Boston. I am a little older now and coming to grips with all that that entails, but as I reflect back that must have been the time when I was most in my prime physically. I am a tall brunette (5'10") and I have very long legs to compliment my fairly pronounced figure. I am not a stick by any means but I have managed to keep my figure if for no other reason than that I want to keep my man. I totally appreciated the attention that I was receiving that night. My sewing efforts were partly a result of my interest in that hobby and partly a result of my financial situation at that time, so I was relieved that my efforts looked professional. The conversation was pleasant on the trip down and when we got into Rhode Island we stopped at a liquor store and food store and loaded up for the weekend. I was truly looking forward to the getaway.
For most of that early Friday evening, we were content to have a few drinks and prepare our meal but after dining we all became a little anxious to go down and roam around on the beach. It was about a mile drive down from the house and we grabbed another bottle of wine and headed off. I can still remember that twilight – the air fresh with that hint of salt and fish that can immediately conjure up memories of a beach. The night was still warm but comfortable. The boys kidded me a little about being a tease as my skirt blew a little in the breeze but it was all harmless fun. We started to head back up to the house but when we got close, Jim asked me if I wanted to get out of Sam's car and walk the rest of the way. I quickly agreed because as much as I like Sam, I thought it would be nice to be alone with Jim for awhile.
As the car pulled away, I suddenly realized how much Jim wanted to be with me. Without a word he pulled me to him and began to ravage my body. We had been sleeping together for some time so we were over that initial crazy lust time but Jim began to act as if it were our first time together. He was as hard as I have ever felt him – he made sure I realized that right away – and were it not for some other cars driving down the road we may have made love right there. Cooler heads prevailed, however, and we began to walk towards the house.
"What's gotten into you?" I asked. "You're a wild man!"
"I don't know, honey. There's just something about you tonight. I started when you walked out of your apartment in that outfit. You just looked so hot. And then I guess I started to notice that way that Sam was looking at you. Sometimes I forget how gorgeous you are and when I see someone else look at you with that awed expression on his face it makes me realize how great you are. I just love you totally right now and I want to have you."
"Well, we're almost home, big boy, and you can have me then. Hold on."
"No," Jim said. "I don't want to go inside because we'll have to talk to Sam for awhile before heading to bed. I want you now – outside – under the stars."
So that is what we did. As we neared my sister's house, we cut through the small hedge and entered the back yard. We went under the large sprawling shade tree that was planted near the back porch and Jim began to kiss and fondle me. I reached down and undid his belt buckle and the obvious heat that he had for me was once again obvious. I still had on my miniskirt outfit and I didn't feel like getting it dirty by laying down in the grass so I went to me knees and used my mouth to play with Jim's erection. I could tell that he was consumed with desire by this point so I didn't suck too hard. As I stood up, I turned around and put my hands against the tree. I leaned down so that there was no doubt about what position I favored. Jim reached up and removed my panties and began sliding his cock up and down my wet pussy. With one mighty thrust he was in and he immediately pressed forward to totally bury himself in my slit. It was heavenly. It was a continuation of the outdoor theme that had begun earlier with our trip to the beach. I gasped as he began to furiously pound me from behind. I caught my breath and my knees wavered as his passion drove forward again and again. I don't know how long we were in that position and I certainly don't remember if I made much noise but I remember his short cry as he pumped his load into me. My hands were shaking against the tree as I steadied myself for a moment before turning around and hugging Jim gently. Our hearts pounded against each other as we struggled to regain normal breathing. The slightly salty taste of his sweat entered my mouth as I kissed his neck.
"O, Joy…" was all he could say and it reflected my feelings perfectly. As I regained an awareness of place and time, I looked up at the house and noticed some movement behind the family room curtain. It didn't startle me or scare me but I realized that Sam must have wondered about our whereabouts and looked out the window. I wondered how long he had been there and I wondered how much he had seen from his vantage point.
"Jim, I think that Sam might have been watching us just now. I think I just saw him duck back from the window."
Jim just laughed. His sense of elation after our lovemaking prohibited him from being too serious about anything. "Don't worry about it, Candi. I'm sure it was your imagination. Besides, can you blame him from wanting to look at you. I have always told you how beautiful you are….especially during the act."
His attitude was contagious and I felt relieved. Sam had seen whatever he had seen and it didn't bother me. I adjusted my clothes, stepped back into my panties, and took Jim's hand as we headed back towards the house.
