It starts so very randomly and unexpectedly. I am sitting in a cafe during lunch time in a mall not too far from my Los Angeles suburbs house. And I call my wife Archana. She does not answer. I get a text message instead.
- Sorry Ninad, in a very important meeting at office. Will call later. Anything urgent?
I stare at the message for a few seconds. With quivering fingers I type a response.
- nothing urgent. ttyl.
And then I get up from the table and walk to a spot behind a pillar where I can be hidden but still have a view of the main lobby of the mall one floor below me. Where I can see Archana looking her phone.
I have just caught my wife in a lie and I am confused about the reason.
I have not planned to be at the mall. The client meeting was supposed to happen in my office several miles. But the client called at the last minute citing some conflicts and requested that I meet him at the mall.
I finish the meeting, the client leaves, and I am about to finish my coffee and walk out when I see my wife walk into the mall. I know her office is just a couple of blocks away. She is probably here to have lunch at the food court. What a coincidence! I am too far to yell out at her and get her attention. Which is why I call her.
I can see her look at the phone, see I am calling, sigh in annoyance, and decline the call. And then she sends that text.
She is not in a meeting at office. She is here in the mall right in front of me! Why has she lied?
I get my answer soon. A young strapping white guy, maybe just out of college, walks up to her. She sees him and beams with glee, a smile she has not flashed me in over a decade. Archana has a thousand watt radiant smile that is her most noticeable feature. Well, the smile and her curvy hot body.
They hug. It is not a polite hug between friends or acquaintances. It is a tight intimate hug. I can see her big tits mashing into his chest and I see him cup her butt over her skirt.
They exchange a few words and then holding hands, walk into a bar on that floor.
Interesting, I think. I have known Archana since kindergarten. We were classmates and neighbors and childhood friends growing up in India. At the age of 16, we officially became a couple. Textbook high school sweethearts. At the age of 24, we got married. And now in our late 30s, we are, I think, happily married with a 12 year old daughter.
Are we happily married though? Why is she walking into this bar in middle of the day in the embrace of a young man obviously a decade or so younger than her? I am curious.
I sprint down the escalator, my first instinct being to confront her. But I suppress that instinct. I need more information before jumping to conclusions, I delude myself. I sidle up to the bar, which has glass walls. I peek in from behind another pillar.
I see them sitting in a small booth. She is laughing, looking gorgeous and happy and excited. The young white guy looks happy too and he has his hand on her thigh. They lean in and kiss.
I feel sick. I run to the restroom and vomit. Then I sit in the stall with my head in my hands for a while. Takes me several minutes of rinsing my mouth and then washing my face with cold water to stop hyperventilating.
I walk out of the restroom and back to the bar. I enter it, intent on confronting Archana and the guy. But the booth is now empty! How long was I in the restroom?
I call her cellphone again. Goes unanswered again. This time, no immediate text. The text comes fifteen minutes later.
- Ninad I told you I am busy in the office. Unless this is urgent, please don't keep calling.
I stare at it. I compose a long angry text telling her how I have seen her and I know she is not in the office. But then I delete it. And reply,
- sorry. butt dial.
Where is she? Where did she go with the fratboy looking dude? They are having an affair, surely. I first seethe with anger.
Then another part of me pipes. Well, what did you expect? When was the last time you had sex with her?
I genuinely have to jog my memory for a while before remembering that it was four months ago on our anniversary. And that too was a drunken quickie.
Maybe if you are also in a stable happy marriage in your late thirties, you will understand it when I say that I still think my wife is very hot, but sex with her just doesn't excite me anymore. Is it because we have been together for over two decades?
I think about our marriage. It is still a happy marriage. We don't really fight. At least not serious fights. We both love each other. We have a good life. We were a happy textbook couple in high school and then college and then grad school and then in Southern California too. We have a brilliant lovely daughter who is the center of our existence. We both have good well-paying careers. We have a great house. We take lots of vacations and have fun with each other.
The sex part is kind of the exception if you look at it objectively. It just is not as hot and heavy as it once was.
It's not that my libido has gone down or anything. I still jack off at least 4 times a day, often in the bathroom stall at my office. It's just that sex with Archana no longer excites me as much as porn and my fantasies.
One of those fantasies is of Archana with other men. I have never told it to her. It's my dirty little secret. I have never thought of acting on it. But it is a recurring fantasy.
And now it turns out that it might actually be happening. No. It is definitely happening! I picture that kiss. I feel at once disgusted and aroused. And I have to run back to the restroom.
--
"Dad, are you okay?"
That evening.
It is my turn to pick up our daughter from her friend's place where she has gone after school. Usually, like all pre-teens, she just stays buried in her phone. But today, clearly I seem shaken enough that she actually notices me.
"Yeah, just a long day at work, sweetie."
Which is true. As shaken as I am by what I have discovered, I do have a full load of things at work. I drive back to the office from the mall and dunk myself into work. I try to postpone the inevitable but can't stop thinking about it either.
And that is when the self-doubt and self-loathing sets in. Can you blame her, I again ask myself. Look at Archana! She is still super hot! And charming and funny and charismatic and captivating! I lucked out that she picked me in high school and then stuck with me. But of course other men will pursue her. Other men have always pursued her.
I have never been insecure about that because, not to boast, but I am a catch myself. Approaching 40, I'm still the fit, lean, athletic, with a full head of hair. Young women still flirt with me. I have just never been interested in anyone. Seems like too much work to go through the whole dating and courting and seducing process. Leave me with my thoughts and my porn and I am good with that. And sex with Archana every few months.
But clearly she wants more. And she is getting more. Is she? With that fratboy guy, was it just kissing or much more? Is my wife naked with him and he is naked and putting his dick inside...urggg...stop thinking about this, I tell myself, or you will puke in the car in front of your daughter.
--
"Sorry if my text earlier seemed rude, Ninad."
She says while sliding into bed. I have been looking at her with renewed appreciation tonight. She has done this for years and years every night. She closes the bedroom door. Then she takes off whatever top she is wearing. Then she unhooks her bra, always with a happy sigh, because her tits are so big. Ten she puts on a thin cotton t-shirt. Then she strips down to her panties and gets into bed. She looks so much more hot and sexy to me tonight than she did last night.
"No problem, Archu." I smile and kiss her.
Then I kiss her again and slide on top of her.
"Oooh, horny?" she flashes that smile to me.
"Yeah. You in the mood?" I ask.
"Always!" she says.
That's what she says. Always!
The sex that night is magical and electric and amazing, More memorable than anything I can remember in a long time. Archana rides me with an intensity and passion I have not experienced since our early 20s. I then bend her over and pound her doggy style feeling harder than I have been since our early 20s. We cum together, hard. I have been thinking about that young fratboy being inside her all along.
"Phew...wow! That was...wow!" Archana says, her naked tits heaving and her nipples still erect. I lean over for a kiss and then slide down to tongue her clit to two more orgasms. Best sex we have had since forever.
--
It is three weeks later. It has been an interesting three weeks.
Archana is my soulmate, my best friend, the main reason for my happiness. She is still always the amazing woman she was, even after I caught her in a lie and realized she was cheating on me. I know that theoretically, I should be angry. But I can't muster up the anger. I love her. She loves me. Things are otherwise the same as they were before that chance instance in the mall when I saw her with the fratboy.
We have been together since we were 14. I have been thinking about other women throughout that time. Just that I have never acted on any opportunities. For me, it is all about fantasies and porn and masturbation. For her, it might be about flings. Is her actual infidelity really worse than my mental infidelity? I can't answer that. So I don't confront her.
"Sir, are you sure you want me to drop you off here?", the Uber driver asks.
I look up from my phone. He repeats the question.
"Yes, yes, this is good." I say, opening the car door.
"It's just...in the middle of nowhere sir!" he says, genuinely confused.
"I am meeting a friend." I distractedly say, my eyes still on my phone screen.
On the phone is the location of Archana's phone. The morning after THAT night, when she was in the shower, I took her phone and enabled location tracking. I was expecting something of a bombshell on the basis of what I did. But for a couple of weeks, there was nothing out of the ordinary. She went to work, and then came home, only stopping by to pick up our daughter when it was her turn.
I have been paying special attention towards the location during lunch time, because lunch time is when I first saw her kissing the guy. But even in lunch time, she is in her office.She could be hooking up with him in her office. But there is no justifiable way for me to verify it.
