Mary sat in the waiting room at the doctors office. Her husband Steve had just gone back for his colonoscopy. The nurse told Mary she would call her to come sit by her husband's side in about twenty minutes, upon completion of the procedure.
Mary thought about the events of that morning, being confronted by Steve about her secret visit to Tommy Robbins apartment two days earlier. She was feeling anxious.
"What was I thinking?" She thought, "And why wasn't I more careful?"
She was worried about Steve's angry reaction, and felt terrible about the hurt look on his face. However, Mary had reason to believe that her indiscretion would not lead Steve to do anything rash.
Still, the whole situation bothered her and she knew she had herself to blame. She loved Steve, even though they had had their problems, and their personalities were so different.
She had loved Tommy thirty years ago. Since they reconnected on social media several years ago they had kept in touch, speaking or texting from time to time. Last fall they began chatting during a time when she and Steve were barely speaking and she was still processing the loss she was feeling by the death of Phil, the old vet.
Mary was not in love with Tommy now, at least, not in the sense that she would want to dump Steve for him. She knew that she would need to fight for Steve.
"I need to show Steve how much I love him," she thought. "I'll forget about Tommy for now. And if never seeing Tommy again is the price I have to pay to keep Steve, then so be it."
When Steve's procedure was completed, she was called back to sit with him. As Steve awoke, he was groggy. The doctor stopped by and informed them that everything had gone as hoped. Steve had a clean bill of health.
Mary was elated by the good news. "That's a relief! Thank you so much Doctor."
Steve, regaining his senses, seemed content, but said little. Mary, knowing how much Steve hated doctors offices, took the discharge papers from the staff person and began filling them out, directing Steve where to sign and initial.
Soon they were home. Mary made eggs, bacon and toast for Steve, who was starving after fasting for the previous 36 hours.
"I am going to go upstairs to nap," Steve told Mary, wearily and with little emotion. "Thank you for taking me to the doctor today and for feeding me."
"Of course, Steve." Mary replied. I will be upstairs soon to check on you. Let me know if you need anything at all."
"Thank you." Steve said as he got up from the table and headed for the stairs.
"Wait." Mary said, as she walked over to Steve. She wrapped her arms around him and looked into his tired eyes.
"I love you."
"I love you too." Steve replied, kissing her gently on the lips before turning and walking up the stairs.
Mary stood for a moment before cleaning the dirty dishes. When she finished, she climbed the stairs to the bedroom. Steve was already asleep.
Mary went back downstairs and out the back door. Mary and Steve lived in a twin. Their back door leads to a deck, which leads to a long, somewhat narrow back yard with a tool shed at the very back of their fenced in property. Mary and Steve's attached neighbors, a new to the neighborhood young couple, Justin and Audrey, with a three month old baby, had an almost identical set up.
There was a gate built into the wood fence back near the sheds that enabled passage between the two properties. The previous neighbor, a union carpenter married to a school teacher, had built the gate so that the couples could easily borrow lawn equipment from each others sheds.
Mary suspected the real reason the chatty carpenter built the gate was to lure her over one night for a secret tryst in his shed. Mary thought her older neighbor was amusing, but she had no interest in him, nor in stirring up trouble with his moody wife. Steve was confident his neighbor built the gate for that reason, though he did not mention this to Mary. They never borrowed each others tools.
Out on the deck, Mary pulled out her cell phone and called her friend, Jill. Jill was Mary's closest friend. They used to work together before both were laid off from the big company at the same time.
They had mostly kept in touch through the phone and social media. Jill picked up some afternoon hours tending bar in a small neighborhood joint, twenty minutes from Mary's house. Since being laid off, Mary had not seen Jill in the flesh until visiting her in the bar one day, on an impulse decision, just over two and a half years ago.
"Hi Mary, What have you been up to?" Jill said as she answered her phone.
"Jill. Hi. I'm doing, we're doing, really well. Steve had his routine colonoscopy today and everything came out well. Since he had to be put under, I drove him there and home. It was weird. The whole thing lasted, like, 45 minutes."
"I am glad to hear that Mary," Jill replied. "I'm off today. Brian is supposed to come over this afternoon. Do you want to stop by?"
"I can't." Mary replied. "I need to stay here to take care of Steve."
"Take care of Steve?" Jill asked skeptically. "Is there a problem? Is he ok?"
"Well." Mary replied slowly. "I called you because I fucked up. And you're my friend who tells me like it is. I need your advice."
Jill was a couple years older than Mary. She had short brown hair, a larger frame and was more curvy. Long divorced, with two grown children, Jill prided herself on her knowledge of men and their motives. She often offered Mary advice, solicited or not.
"What is it Mary? I am here for you. You know that right?"
"I know you are Jill. Here's my problem. Steve found out that I secretly visited an old boyfriend on Tuesday.
"He confronted me about it this morning. He was really hurt. But then we had to go to his appointment.
"When we got home, he was hungry and tired. I made him eggs, bacon and buttered toast. Now he's sleeping."
"Wow!" replied Jill. "So did you fool around with him?"
"Well yes." Mary responded, sounding agitated.
"So what made you decide to do this on Tuesday with...?"
"Tommy Robbins." Mary answered, "He and I chat occasionally. I have no good excuse. He listens to me, makes me laugh. I can relax with him. He reminds me of the good old days.
"I feel guilty though. Steve and I are getting along really well, but I feel like we're walking on eggshells, afraid to really tell each other how we are feeling. We're so focused on kindness."
"So how are you feeling about Steve?"
"I love Steve. I didn't want things to happen this way. He is trying harder, but he rarely touches me when its not sexual. He and I don't connect on an intimate level the way I think a couple should.
"Steve can be kind of a blowhard sometimes, too. He can be arrogant and condescending. But on the other hand, he is very responsible. He takes care of me and I know he loves me."
"So do you want to run off with Tommy?"
"Oh no! Tommy has his own baggage. I don't see myself with him. Steve and I raised our kids together after we both had tumultuous first marriages. I think we both like the stable lives we've built together. We still love each other!"
"Yes," Jill responded. "Which brings us back to what you were thinking last Tuesday?"
"I've just been lonely lately. The kids are hardly ever around anymore. Steve is working and travelling all the time.
"Tommy and I chatted on the phone Tuesday morning. I just started to long for his touch. Plus, he told me he scored a bottle of Bella Glas, which certainly worked to lure me over for lunch."
"Very funny, Mary. But based on what you told me before, you think Steve gets off on you having secretive sex with other guys." Jill responded.
"I still think that's true!" Mary confirmed.
"He said he put all of the available evidence of my infidelity together last night before he came up to bed. But he came up to bed after midnight. I woke up at one point, and could have sworn he was jerking off!
"I am thinking that the best thing for me to do is to wait until he wakes up and tell him the truth about everything, apologize, and hope he forgives me."
"Well." Jill responded thoughtfully, "Let's think about this for a minute. You already said you were sorry didn't you?"
"Yes. Of course. But I just apologized for telling him I was having lunch with Connie, but instead going to Tommy's apartment. I didn't admit to fooling around with him, though Steve seems pretty certain of it."
"Well then you have already apologized." Jill told her. "If he wants the details, you need to make him ask you specifically for them.
"For now you should just treat him like a king. Do all the things to him that you know drive him wild. Make him think about how lucky he is to have a desirable woman like yourself for his wife.
"As the weekend goes on, he'll think about the sexy moves you've just used on him. He will think about you having done those same things, and maybe other things, with Tommy. He will be consumed by what you haven't told him.
"By Saturday afternoon, he'll come to you, practically on his knees, to declare his devotion, absolve you of any thought of having been untrue to him and give you a permanent hall pass!
"When he does this, be gracious, but avoid that thing you do with the endless apologizing. This is when you have the opportunity to make him into the lover you need and want him to be. Show him how you want him to touch you and make love to you. Do this well, and by Sunday night, he will be putty in your hand. And you will be free to fuck Tommy, or anyone you like."
"That is an interesting plan Jill! What if he blows it up and wakes up demanding answers?"
"If he does, resort to your plan and beg forgiveness. It can't hurt at that point."
Monday arrived, after quite an eventful prior week and weekend. Steve left for work early, Mary slept in. Before getting up to go to the art studio for one of two art classes she had scheduled during the week, she laid in bed thinking about the weekend that just passed. She sipped from her cold coffee, which Steve had made her. He had added a teaspoon of sugar and robust dollop of milk, as Mary liked it. He brought it up to her two hours earlier before softly kissing her forehead and departing.
Mary's cell phone lit up. It was Jill calling.
"Hi Jill!" Mary answered her phone, suddenly anxious to talk to her girlfriend.
