Wanna Bet?

The tall, lanky man walked into the bar and immediately started scanning the patrons. He was ruggedly handsome and was wearing a plaid shirt, jeans and cowboy boots. No hat to hide his wavy grey speckled hair. Standard attire for this Country and Western bar. Even though he saw the woman he was looking for, he waited off to the side of the bar where he could watch her without it appearing too obvious.

He was waiting for her to get a couple of drinks in her before he made his move. She was with another woman at the bar and both got up at times to dance with one or more of the men that approached them. In every case, they resisted the opportunity to join the dance partners at their table. They appeared to be here to have a good time, not to pick up any guys.

When she ordered her third drink, she did not realize that the stranger had told the bartender to give her doubles and he would pay the difference. As she got ready to pay for her third drink, he intervened. "I'll pay for the lady's drink, if she has no objection."

The woman looked him over a while and finally said, "Just because I say 'yes' to the drink, doesn't mean I will say 'yes' to you."

He smiled and told her that was fine with him. Her left hand went up to make her wedding ring more obvious.

"I get it, you're married. Although you are quite an attractive lady, I have another motive for talking to you."

She turned on the bar stool, and she faced him. "Oh, and what might that be."

Extending his right hand, he said, "My name is Brandon Knight, I write short stories."

The woman looked skeptical but shook his hand. "I admit that's a novel line. This might be fun to hear."

Her friend broke in, "I'm going to go dance. Is that okay?"

"That's fine. I'll be right here." After she watched her friend go to the dance floor, she continued. "Now, you were saying?"

"The short stories I write are about cheating."

"Cheating? That's why you are talking to me? Do I look like a slut to you?" She was becoming angry.

"Whoa, hold on now. I'm not accusing you of anything. I go around and ask people to talk to me if they have been cheated on or have cheated. If they have, I pay them for answering some questions. I do not ask for any information that would identify any of the persons in the story. If the individual does not want to answer any of the questions, I go on unless, of course, most of the questions are not being answered. The person can quit at any time. If you have not cheated or been cheated on, I'll quickly go on my way with an apology and you'll have a free drink."

Skepticism turned to puzzlement on the face of the woman. "So, Mr. Knight if someone tells you a story about cheating, what happens to the story?"

"If it's okay, please call me Brandon. I will not ask your name. If the story is good enough, it gets published and I get paid. If it doesn't get published, I lose the money I paid the person and all the expenses in getting the story."

"And how much money do you pay people for their stories?"

"Once the person tells me that they have cheated or been cheated on and want to talk about it, I give them $200, non-refundable. If the questions are completed, I give the person another $300. So, $500 total is possible. As an added bonus, you get to read your story in print knowing only you are aware of who all the people really are."

The wheels were really turning in her head at this point. "Let me see the $200."

"Not until you tell me you are someone who has cheated or been cheated on and are willing to answer my questions."

She sighed a huge sigh, "Okay, I have cheated, and I may be willing to talk, IF we can keep from saying anything that could identify me, my husband, or my former lover."

"Deal. Can we go talk somewhere more private since we want to keep this confidential?"

"I need to go tell Agnes first, we're not supposed to go to a table, booth, or outside with a man unless the other goes with her." The lady went and talked to her friend to explain that she was going to a table but was not going outside with the man.

They wound up at the booth the greatest distance from the other customers. Sitting across from each other, they settled into their respective seats. Brandon took out a note pad and reviewed the confidentiality guidelines. He emphasized the ability for her to stop at any time she felt too uncomfortable. That seemed to calm her nervousness a bit.

"Okay, you said you were the one who cheated?"

She nodded her head affirmatively but then halted. "Wait, how do I know I'm not being recorded?"

"I'm writing your answers down, so I guess you are being recorded. It's up to you not to give me anything that would identify you." He smiled, "By the way, you need to speak into the microphone in my Bolo tie. Your husband is outside listening in." Both of them laughed and then he put two one hundred dollar bills on the table in front of her.

"If you're ready? Okay, here we go. Question 1: Are you currently cheating?"

"No. I broke it off a couple of weeks ago."

"Which one of these time frames best describe when you started your affair: one month ago or less, three months ago or less, six months ago or less, or more than six months ago?"

"Are we just talking about the last affair?"

"Yes, it gets too complicated if we talk about multiple affairs."

"Then it would be six months ago or less. God, I can't believe I'm talking about this to a stranger."

"If this is too much for you, we can stop." He reached for the money, but she quickly put her hand on the bills.

"No, I'm fine. Go on."

"Good. Is the person you had an affair with male or female?"

"What? You think I'm a lesbian?"

"Hey, I can't predict what a lesbian looks like. You would be surprised how many people I've interviewed that have had homosexual AND heterosexual affairs. Surely, you realize that homosexuality is almost a badge of pride these days. Personally, I don't care if the story is good. Actually, I don't care as long as the story is accepted for publication."

"Sorry, it just struck me wrong. I guess I'm still too old fashioned. But in case you are wondering, I don't swing that way."

"Okay. Next question: Is the man you most recently had an affair with of the same racial/ethnic identity as you?"

The woman got a more worried look on her face. "I'm kind of scared to answer that one."

"To tell you the truth, interracial affairs are more likely to be published. So, if it is true in your case, please tell me. I guess by your hesitation, he is of a different race."

"Do I have to say what race?"

"Preferably but that's not required."

"Okay, I'll just say he's of a different race."

"That's probably a good idea since it might be a giveaway if you have a small group of acquaintances. Next, did you and this person meet in your workplace, neighborhood, social/religious organizations, or social media? If you don't want to answer about the workplace, I will assume you work in a setting with very few people where it might be able to figure out who the person is."

"I work in a large company. I met him there."

"Okay, how did you first meet him?"

Before she could answer, the waitress brought the woman her fourth drink of the night. A double of course.

As soon as the waitress left, the lady answered. "He was introduced to the workers on my floor by the human resources people when he was first hired. After that, he would stop by my desk to talk."

"And flirt?"

"Yes. We flirted but that is not unusual at our workplace. We kid each other a lot except when the boss is around."

"Now, when was the first time you were sure that there might be more than flirting going on?"

"This is kind of embarrassing. We were on an elevator going to our respective floors. It got real crowded and I was forced to stand in the back right in front of him. It was so crowded my rear end touched his front. As the elevator rose, I could feel something cylindrical between my butt crack through my clothes. I tried to move forward, but he put his hands on my hips and pulled me back. He got bigger and I got wetter. By the time the elevator stopped on my floor, I could feel moisture running down my leg. He stayed on the elevator and I headed for the restroom to, uh, 'relieve' myself. Oh my God, I've never told anyone about that before."

"Are you okay to go on?"

"I think I need a breather. I actually got aroused retelling that story."

"When you're ready."

After a couple of minutes, she told him to continue.

"When and where did your first actual sex act occur?"

"The elevator again. We tried to go to the elevator at the same time, so we might be alone. Usually there was someone else there, so we did nothing. At times when we were alone, he would press the stop button and we would either masturbate each other or I would give him a blow job. If you asking about actual intercourse, it was in the vacant office behind the mail room. I was the only one who had a key to it. We used the desk."

"For which of these reasons did the affair end: guilt, he lost interest, you lost interest, you got caught, not able to find a safe place, other?"

"Other. I ended it because I have found that if an affair with the same person goes on very long, you tend to get careless and the chance of getting caught increases. When you go so long, the excitement factor wears off too. Sex with your lover can get as boring as having sex with your husband. I couldn't believe it, but I actually yawned during sex one time with my last lover." She blushed and giggled at the memory.

Brandon offered, "I realize that these questions get very personal. I appreciate you being so candid. Let me know, however, if they become too uncomfortable. I will assure you again, that your answers are totally confidential. Do you want to continue?"

"Would I get the other $300?"

"No. Not yet."

"Okay, go on then. I've already spilled most of the beans."

"During sex, did you have a preferred position?"

"All positions were good, but I think I like cowboy and reverse cowboy best. Doggie was good also."

"What about the types of sex you prefer: oral, anal, regular?"

"Favorite? Is there an 'all of the above' answer? She chuckled and finished her fourth drink of the night.

"Do you think you will have another affair?"

"If you mean, 'Will I go after someone on purpose?' then the answer is 'No.' Will I take advantage of a good opportunity if it is presented to me, then the answer is 'Yes.'"

"This is not on the questionnaire, but how do you define a 'good opportunity'?"

"Well, if the guy is hot and the time and place for our meetings make it unlikely we would be caught."

"Does whether of not he is married make a difference?"

"Not if it doesn't matter to him, why should it to me? It would be hypocritical for it to matter when I am cheating on my husband."

"That brings us to the next questions. What do you think was the main reason or reasons that made it acceptable for you to cheat on your husband: 1) He was inadequate in bed? That includes him being too small, too fast in ejaculating, and/or too little foreplay. 2) You wanted sex more often than he wanted? 3) The excitement of having a secret affair? 4) You drank too much alcohol and got carried away? 5) You fell in love with someone else? 6) Other?"

"I don't consider my husband inadequate. I wish he was larger, would take more time with foreplay, would bathe more often before sex, and would spend more time licking me, you know, down there. He usually comes quickly the first time but is able to perform again and make it last longer. Really, now I think of it, I probably have sex with another man because my husband is only one man. Having more than one choice for sex is the biggest reason I do it. And the excitement of keeping it hidden. That takes a lot of work and planning, you know."

Brandon and the woman were interrupted by her friend Agnes who said, "I'm going to a table with Fred here. I figure it's okay since you've done it. Don't worry, we're not going outside." Hearing no objection, she and Fred went to another booth out of hearing range.

"Are we about over? My friend has a habit of getting in trouble and I promised to look out after her tonight."

"Yes, almost done. How do you think your husband would react if he were to find out? Would he hit you, kick you out, walk out, threaten divorce, get a divorce, get revenge, or forgive you and beg you to stay with him? If he wanted you to stay, would he agree to you keeping your lover or would you have to give your lover up?"

"Whew! That's a heavy one to think about. Of course, I've wondered. Getting caught is part of the excitement which probably is a major reason I continue to have affairs. My conclusion is that, first, I need to do the absolute most I can to keep him from finding out. If he did, he would probably threaten divorce, but I think he would back down once I begged him not to and promised never to do it again. I do love him, and he's been an okay husband, father and he's even an adequate lover. Sex on the side is just something I want and doesn't really hurt our marriage.

He knows that he would come out badly with the financial split divorces usually result in. As long as he doesn't have pictures, videos, or audio tapes; he wouldn't have grounds to get more than a 50/50 split. I really don't want to talk about this. It's too depressing."

"This has been very interesting. I think this will make a story I can easily sell. All that is left is . . ."

The woman caught a glimpse of a man coming toward their booth. It was her husband.

"Honey, it's good to see you. Uh, this is, uh, Mr. Knight. He's a writer. He's interviewing me for an article he's writing about happy marriages. He says that there are too many stories about cheating spouses and he wants to even the score.

"Hey Brandon."

"Hey Lester."

A look of dread and shock took over the woman's face. "You, you two know each other?"

The husband spoke quite calmly. "Sure, I hired him. Brandon is a Private Investigator."

She felt like she was treading water with concrete shoes on. "Sweetheart I just made up this crazy story, so I could get some money. He was foolish enough to think I was telling the truth. See, I have $200 and he owes me another $300." Her face, however, revealed she knew she had been busted.

"Nice try. You always could think quickly on your feet. Too bad you couldn't stay off your back. Excuse me, I forgot. You said you preferred being on top."

"Lester, how did you know what I said?"

Brandon spoke, "I was lying about the story being confidential. I wasn't lying about a microphone in my Bolo tie." The woman began to cry.

Lester announced, "Well Brandon, I guess I owe you $100."

Still sobbing, she asked, "You only paid a Private Investigator $100 to spy on me?

"No, my dear, I paid a lot more than that. You were very good in hiding your affair. When he could not come up with hard proof through regular surveillance, Brandon proposed this scam to trap you. I bet him $100 that you were too smart to fall for it. Guess I was wrong. By the way, the correct answer to what your husband would do if he found out is: divorce."

"No, you wouldn't divorce me over a harmless fling, would you?"

"Wanna bet?"