It can often be said that there is a thin line between love and hate. Many of us walk this line every day. Friends, family and co-workers, "I can't believe I once liked that guy". "Shit dude" you're a fucking asshole. My personal favorite is" I fucking hate the bitch".
Then there are those that are always telling you about the human condition or how you need to stop being so hateful. They are the ones that talk about, showing your humanity. Me, I just worry about my condition and that of my family.
It's good to have friends but be realistic. Friends you can only be trust so far. And in my case, not all family or friends had my back. This was a hard lesson that I learned firsthand. The good thing in all this was, I found out who my real family and friends are.
My name is Pace Jensen. I'm 29 years old, ex football play and an avid runner. I am married to Amy. She is a hot little momma with the attitude to match. But the best thing in my life is that I'm a father of three little boys.
Amy and I had been married for about seven years at the time of our downfall. The reason we had kids so fast and often was I couldn't get enough of my wife. I lived and breathed Amy. That's where I believe was my downfall begun. We took our vows it was the day after our college graduation. We both graduated from UMASS. Amy majored in secondary education and I majored in management information systems.
Amy landed a job at one of the elite private schools in Dallas and I worked for Empire Funding. We had a pretty good start out in life.
During our marriage, there were ups and downs like most marriage but nothing major. I think our first fight was when I wanted to buy a 1968 Shelby Cobra GT 500. It was a two door fastback with a 302 cu in (4.9 L) V8 (GT350). To top it off, was candy apple red with two white stripes down the middle.
Unlike some people I know, I could afford a $100,000 dollar car, but I do love classic ones.
Anyway, like I said Amy and I had a great life. We lived pretty close to my family, which I thought was a good thing. My mom and dad were in their 50's and I also had a younger brother named Rob. Rob was 17 and attended the same high school that Amy taught in. In fact, she taught one of his classes.
I think Rob was an "opps" baby because he was 12 years younger than me. Rob and I were as close as you can be to a little brother that is 12 years younger than you. When anything happened or when Rob needed something, I was the one expected to make the sacrifice. That was how my family lived. It was our motto, "you need to need to man up and deal with it". Be the hero son, just let your little brother have it, you'll come out better in the long run. My father said that so much, it got to the point where I would just walk away.
Another good thing in my life was my best friend, Jeffery Parks. He was the brother that I wish I had. We had been best buds since the third grade. And if anyone knew how I felt, he did. Jeff was an attorney and I expected him to cover my back in all legal matters.
anyway, last Monday, when I got home Amy told me she had taken the boys over to her sister's house. It was four doors down. When she told me that, I figured that she wanted some alone time if you know what I mean. But she said she wanted to tell me something.
I didn't think life could get any better, but then Amy said she was pregnant. I wanted to know when the baby was due so we could start buying thing before the baby got here. I think I was as happy as a man could be. "Hell", I just hoped this one would be a little girl so I could spoil her to death. But for some reason Amy was a little out of it and had this far away look on her face. I asked her what was wrong.
Pace, it's not your child. Amy said it so softly I didn't catch it.
"What going on Hon", why are you so down.
Pace, I love you, but I'm not having any more of your kids said Amy.
I was a little taken back and asked her why.
Amy you always said you wanted a big family, so why the sudden change?
Pace, hummmm, Lord this is going to be hard. Then Amy started walking around like whatever she going to say would be life changing.
Amy, I love you no matter what, so just tell me how you feel right now, just say it.
Then she stopped pulled out her phone, hit speed dial. "Can you come over here please?" Whomever she was talking, it sounded like they knew more about this than I did.
"Amy", who was that and what in the hell is going on!
Amy said, "just hold on Pace", I need help in getting my words through to you. I don't want to mess up what I have to say. I asked her who was coming over and what it was that she just couldn't tell me without help. Hell, if you can't tell your husband who else in the hell else could you tell.
All kinds of things went through my head, none of them good but what was coming next blew me away.
Two minutes later, The doorbell rang.
Amy answered it and when She came back; she was being followed by my mom, my dad and my 17-year brother Rob.
Okay Amy, what the fuck is going on?
Pace, ummmmm Pace, shit how I can say this without hurting you said Amy.
Rob just interjected. "Look Pace, Amy is love with me, that's what she wants to say, mom and dad are here to back us up said Rob. Look bro, shit happens. We didn't mean to fall in love but we did, the kid she is carrying is mine and we need you to get on board with this. Amy and I are going to be a family whether you like it or not."
I started laughing like this is some kind joke, right, it had to be.
I said look Amy, what is that you want to tell me. No one was laughing. I looked back at Amy she was looking at her feet.
Amy, please look at me and tell me this is not true?
Tell me you're not this fucking stupid.
My dad said "Son I know this is hard but what's done is done. I know you're hurting right now but Rob is your brother and so how we have to find a way to pull through this. We know it asking a lot but sacrifices have to be made."
I asked my mom was she a part of this? She said, "Son, I love both of my boys. I don't want this to tear our family apart. You have to find a way to live with this. We're all family; you have to be the hero in this. You need to find it in your heart to not be angry and do the right thing."