As I sat at a restaurant table in the bar area the Friday night that was the date of my second anniversary waiting for my husband John Tipton to arrive I had lots to think about. I also had lots to be anxious about, and lots to wonder about. At twenty four years old I had won the gene lottery when it came to looks but I was mired in mediocrity when it came to brain power, logic abilities, and common sense. My life was definitely not turning out the way that I envisioned it.
I was born Ashley Soverow to a middle class couple in a rural Midwestern town. My mother was beautiful and full-chested -- leading to my gene lottery win when it came to looks -- but neither she nor my father was very bright, and always struggled to make ends meet for our family of five (I had a brother and sister, both younger than me). I was shy as a child, mostly because I had no self-confidence when it came to school work, and also constantly on guard because of stories my mother told me about boys only looking to get in your pants and get you pregnant -- which neither I nor my family could afford emotionally or financially.
I managed to remain a virgin until my wedding night to John Tipton, although that wasn't easy since after High School (I did graduate, surprising all in my family) when I moved to Minneapolis to get a job as a receptionist because I was constantly hit on. It was only because the receptionist job was at a law firm that handled sex discrimination and sexual harassment cases that I was able to keep the wolves at bay. When I emphatically emphasized that I worked at Wintson, Bailey, and Kent anyone with half a brain knew not to mess with me.
I met John Tipton shortly after moving to Minneapolis. He was a low level paralegal working at another law firm in the high-rise building housing the offices of Winston et al. The firm he worked for had a good relationship with Winston et al -- in fact they even partnered on some cases. John was a good looking guy but apparently had as stunted a sex life as I had had, and never really complained about me wanting to be a virgin when we got married. Unfortunately his brain power wasn't any better than mine. Only looking back on it did I realize that I probably never loved John. He was a nice guy, I felt the need to get married (including because I wanted sex), and he never pressured me.
Although I was a virgin when I married like most teens and young adults in America I bought in to the "sex is the greatest thing" mantra that seems to permeate American culture as evidenced by movies, TV ads, and media in general. I was grossly disappointed the first times that John and I had sex. It wasn't anything like that advertised. I didn't have a real orgasm until about the twentieth time that we did it, and very infrequently after that. I didn't know that realistically (not media portrayals) that it could be different, and even if I did know that I wouldn't know how to talk about it with John.
Not only was my married sex life not up to snuff, but life in general wasn't. I knew that I would never advance in my job and had little ambition, I doubted seriously that John ever would either, and neither of us was good at handling money. We had an apartment with rent higher than we could realistically afford, car payments that were absurd especially since in the city we didn't even use the car that much, and seemed to get dunning letters all of the time. We were probably going to spend our last disposable $100+ dollars on our anniversary dinner hoping that for one night we could forget about our $5,000+ credit card debt that we were unlikely ever going to be able to pay off.
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As I sat drinking a club soda (I don't drink alcohol -- I wish that John didn't either) at the table in the restaurant bar area as usual I got hit on three times in the twenty minutes that John was initially late. I was perturbed that he wasn't answering his cell phone, but it was going directly to voicemail. All three hitters were quickly dissuaded when I flashed my tiny engagement and wedding rings and said that I worked directly for bad-ass lawyer Marjory Kent (she is as famous in our community as Gloria Allred is nationally).
The fourth guy was not dissuaded. He was a big, very handsome, guy in an expensive suit and carrying a briefcase that looked like it cost as much as all the furniture in our apartment. "Hi," he smiled as he sat down without being asked, "I'm leaving town tomorrow morning after a lonely two week trip and I hope that you don't mind a little conversation while you're waiting for your husband."
"How do you know that I'm waiting for my husband?" I inquired.
"I saw you flashing your rings to the two guys I saw try and hit on you and was surprised that they gave up so easily."
"I also told them that I work directly for Marjory Kent," I snickered.
"Who's she?"
"The biggest bad-ass sexual harassment attorney in Minnesota -- maybe the entire Midwest," I shot back.
"Glad I'm leaving town and in the meantime won't be sexually harassing you," he grinned. "By the way my pseudonym is Mac Jones," he smiled, extending his hand, "what's your pseudonym?"
I had seen a sign while walking to the restaurant for a strip club that was probably a couple of blocks away whose headliner was "Kitty Kat" so that's how I introduced myself when shaking his hand. His grip was strong and intimate -- I didn't like the way that it made me feel.
We chatted for more minutes than I would have liked, but he was charming and looked me in the eye, not at my prominent chest. I kept looking at my watch. John was now more than forty five minutes late and I was getting a little pissed off. Then several things happened in quick succession.
#1 Mac said "I don't think that your husband is coming. Why don't we get a hotel room and spend the night -- there's $1000 in it for you."
#2 I threw the last couple of ounces of my club soda in his face -- he barely flinched.
#3 Before I could go verbally off on Mac my cellphone rang, caller ID indicating that it was John. "Where the hell are you?" was the pleasant way I answered the phone.
With slurred words (I won't try to mimic them) John replied "Sorry, Ash, but...uh...well I got a DWI and am at the police station on Nicollet Avenue and they're keeping me over night. Can you come tomorrow morning and bail me out?"
"Bail you out with what? Our credit cards are maxed out and I've only got cash for what was to be our anniversary dinner tonight, you bastard. Why in the hell did you get a DWI?"
"Well, I lost my job today and I was feeling real bad...."
"HOLY SHIT" I thought to myself. Here we are in dire financial straits and he lost his job! "Don't be mad, Ash -- I feel horrible."
I took a few deep breaths to calm down then said "I'll try to get there by ten o'clock tomorrow morning and see if I can beg to get you out."
"Thanks hon," he responded. "Got to go now, a cop's pulling on my arm," and then the line went dead.
As I stared out into space, having temporarily forgotten that Mac was even there let alone that he had propositioned me and I threw my drink in his face, he piped up. "Sorry, but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation -- actually both sides of it since I'm told that I have excellent hearing. I'm also sorry that I insulted you with such a low offer. Someone with your beauty and class would easily be worth $5,000 for a night of fun."
I stared at him blankly -- too many things, most filled with dread, were racing through my mind. Mac apparently thought that I was holding out for more so he continued, "OK, $7,500." When I was still in a trance after passage of some more time he said "$10,000 is my final offer. You could use the money Ash -- I mean Kitty Kat."
When he said that I suddenly realized that I could in fact use the money. I knew that that would make me a whore, but given my bleak present -- and likely even bleaker future -- and certainly not hurt by how good looking and muscular Mac was, I snapped out of my stupor. My mouth had a mind of its own when I replied "How do I know that I can trust you. You might take advantage of me and never pay up."
"That's a reasonable concern, however one that is easily solved. I give you the $10,000 in cash, we walk across the street to the Four Seasons, you get a room -- I'll give you the cash for it -- that you sign in for, you give the desk clerk your bundle of cash to put in the safe for you -- and you alone -- and you get it out the next morning when you check out."
"You have $10,000 in cash?" I asked, shocked!
Mac looked around -- he called the waitress over, gave her $100 and said "This is to close out our tab" (which was less than $20 at that point) "we need some privacy for a few minutes."
She smiled at the $100 bill, and said "The far back table just opened up -- you can sit there and not be disturbed for five minutes before we need to clear it off."
With my right hand in his left hand, and his expensive briefcase in his right hand, he led me over to the isolated back table. Blocking anyone's view with his massive back he opened up the case which was full of money -- I was certain that I had never had that much money in my entire life, let alone in one place. He deliberately and calmly counted out one hundred $100 bills while I watched. Then he pulled a small cloth bag out of the bottom of his briefcase brief case, put the $10,000 in it and handed it to me.
I don't know what the expression on my face was at that time but my mind was blown.