JAN
Once again, I'm waiting in the motel for my lover and our weekly session of sex. I have to admit, I'm not particularly looking forward to it. Why do I have a lover anyway? Benjamin is a great husband, provider, and father. When we first got married, the excitement of sex with him helped make me happy to start each day. Kids, work, and routine boredom helped make me take him for granted. A shag on the side seemed the best way to add spark to my life. Just sex. Secret sex.
Now, I realize that sex with my lover has become boring too. What's even worse, my lover is now starting to talk about divorcing and marrying me. I've tried laughing it off and saying we shouldn't spoil a good thing. For the last month, I've been trying to figure out how to tell him. I don't want to make him mad. He might tell my husband.
I've just about decided finally to tell him I want to get pregnant by my husband and can't take the chance his sperm gets in the way. What's stopping me is that he probably will find it exciting and he might get me pregnant. That would lead me to divorce my husband and marry my lover. This might seem weird, but I would not want to marry a man that I know would cheat on his wife. Hypocritical much?
No, I just need to tell him straight out. I don't think he will tell my husband for revenge when that would lead to me telling his wife. One night in bed, we were asking each other how we thought our spouses might act if either found out about the cheating. Among the options he thought she might consider included threatening suicide if he left her. That scared the shit out of me. I think that statement was what started my desire to break up with him.
I was startled by the knock on the door. Of course, I was expecting that, but I was not looking forward to telling him and was his reaction might be. I tried to act normally. Fumbling with the chain lock, I peeked through the peep hole to make sure it was him. There he was with a shit-eating grim on his face. Maybe I should give him one last blowjob to send him off with a good feeling.
"Come in, Mike."