I took Emma to an early lunch at Bertucci's -- a chain of Italian restaurants. Again, we were quiet in the car. My mind was racing, trying to recall every conversation with Emma that might have been overheard. I couldn't very well be angry with Megan -- we'd both done something controversial and debatable.
My mind raced even further at the prospect of telling Eleanor and Sarah. We'd raised them to be open thinkers and to avoid snap judgments. I can remember many times thinking of how I interacted with them, teaching them some lesson, to leave room for this eventuality without knowing it. Not that I wanted to make it easy for myself, but rather that I wanted them to have this option in their lives.
After Emma and I ordered, she turned to me, "Matthew, I love you. I also love Megan. You know that through you I always have loved your children too." She reached over and took my hands in hers, "Now, we have one of many challenges we'll face this year, telling Eleanor and Sarah."
I nodded.
Em went on, "The same principles we thought about with Megan need to apply. We're honest, we answer all questions as best we can, and we accept whatever results. We always said we'd be open and honest about 'us' if and when we were discovered." After a minute she asked, "How do you think they'll take the news -- the news that their father has had a thirty-five year love affair, and that their mother knew about it."
"You have a way of being succinct," I told her with a slight chuckle. I added, "There's one more part to what we want to tell them."
Emma tilted her head in the cute way she always did when she had a question.
I said, "We need to tell them we want to spend the rest of our lives together." I changed our touching so that I embraced Emma's hands in mine. We smiled lovingly at each other.
* * * * *
I called Eleanor and Sarah that afternoon and suggested they come visit their mother and a 'special guest' Saturday. Eleanor said she'd fly up that morning for an overnight, and Sarah pledged her Saturday afternoon to us, promising to pick her sister up at the airport and bring her to the house.
I tried to think of all the possible ways to layout our situation to them. I kept coming back to a rather blunt 'here are the facts' approach, and then letting them ask questions. Em agreed, and later when we explained our plan to Megan she concurred.
Megan actually told me to get lost -- to go to work -- so that she and Emma could have some girl talk. Since Emma didn't look the least bit worried by that invitation, I decided to put in an appearance at work.
When I returned to the house about six o'clock, the two appeared to be the best of friends. Megan, however, did look tired.
I hadn't thought much about where Emma would sleep. With the girls gone, we had plenty of sleeping space. The night nurse usually dozed in a sleeper chair in what had been the dining room, and now served as a sitting room and nurse's station.
Megan pulled me close to her while Emma was out of the room for a minute. She said, "Tonight, I want you two to be together upstairs. I know you'd think you had to be apart, but you belong together -- particularly given this situation, and how long you've been apart because of my illness. It'll make me happy to know there's some love -- physical love -- going on in this house."
"Are you sure? I'd been thinking of the Newton Marriott."
"Don't be silly. I may have upset the entire downstairs of this household, but I don't want to upset the relationships any more than I already have. Now kiss me." I did.
* * * * *
Eleanor and Sarah arrived at the house just before lunch. Emma and I had prepared a luncheon of sorts that we could share with them and Megan as we started our talk.
I introduced Emma to them as a long-time friend and colleague, just to get the ball rolling and while they took off their coats. I explained about the luncheon, an event that was to be followed by their mother's afternoon nap, and they concurred.
We'd moved a couple of the chairs and a larger table into the living room around Megan's hospital bed. We made sandwiches in the kitchen, got our drinks, and carried trays in so we could sit and eat with Megan.
The girls kept a steady stream of questions to Megan about how she was feeling, and if they could do anything to ease her situation. Megan, in return, pestered them for information about their fiancé and new husband, respectively.
Megan eventually winked at me as most of our lunches had disappeared. I noted she'd again barely eaten anything -- a bad sign. She had again, however, applied makeup and used the wig to improve her appearance. I took the wink as a signal that the conversation was about to shift to the main agenda.
Megan said in her best commanding voice, "We asked you here because there are some things we wanted you to know about this family and what it will be like after I'm gone." I reached over and held her hand. Our daughters still reeled slightly as the open talk of death.
I said, "There's some history to this family that you have not known about and that it is now time for you to know and understand." I think the girls wondered what Emma's role in this was; so far, she'd been a friendly but neutral presence, willing to listen and visibly appreciate the more recent stories about what their lives had been like. I had watched with fascination as Emma had studied our two daughters.
I went on, "I met Emma shortly after I met your mother and before we became 'serious' about each other. In fact, I became serious about Emma before your mother, yet it was because of her encouragement that I became engaged to and married her."
I could see the furrowed brow on both daughters as they tried to figure out what I was trying to tell them.
I went on, "What I'm trying to say, is that Emma and I have been an event for thirty-five years. We love each other -- have always loved each other. I have also loved and been devoted to your mother during the same time period."
Eleanor started sputtering, "You ... you ... you mean ... for thirty-five YEARS!" She looked wildly between Megan and Emma and me.
Megan stepped in, "Calm down, El. You should know that I knew about the relationship almost from the beginning. I suppose I could have stopped it, but I didn't. In fact, I preferred the way things worked out, particularly as I got into my career."
Now, Sarah spoke, "You mean you KNEW about Daddy and Emma?" She looked daggers at Emma. Em, to her credit, managed to hold her ground with a sanguine look.
"Yes, and I find she is one of the nicest people I've ever known -- or perhaps I should say, known about. We are telling you because I want you to accept Emma as a friend and a family member."
