Two-Dollar Whore

Before I get into the story, I have to make it clear that my sister Clarisa is a cunt. A complete and utter selfish cunt.

I won't waste too much of your reading time highlighting examples of her cuntliness. I will however tell you that she fucked up my wedding, as my maid of honor, by showing up 2 hours late and stoned.

This story begins with my bitch-sibling (or "Bitchling" as I will now call her) flaking out on me. When we were in our twenties and single my sister and I lived near a small bar called Sofie's. We used to go there quite often. Now we both live a little over an hour away from Sofie's. The bitchling wanted to go there for her birthday and whatever the bitchling wants...the bitchling always gets.

So my wonderful husband agreed to give me a hallpass for the night. I got my self ready in a sexy little dress and some tall relatively uncomfortable but extremely cute heels. I did my makeup with some long lashes and my favorite color of lipstick. And finally I curled my long dark hair so it was nice and wavy and loaded with a pound or so of hairspray.

I thought I looked hot and my husband agreed! I kissed my two kids goodnight and fought off a flurry of my husband's gropes for my tits and ass before leaving to pick up the bitchling at her house.

I shouldn't have been surprised when the bitchling was not at her house. I called her to find out why not and got a long ass story about how her and her loser boyfriend where having some trouble with some bullshit problem that she started by being such a bitch and yada...yada...yada...

"Just head that way and I'll drive separate," she said. "I'll be there soon. This shouldn't take more than another 15 minutes."

I begrudgingly agreed to continue with her stupid plan and got on the freeway headed for Sofie's.

Traffic wasn't too bad and I got there fairly quick. The bar is small and only 3-4 other people were in there quietly sipping their own drinks and giving me nothing but the cursory glances when I entered. I don't drink much but what else am I going to do in a bar alone? So I ordered a strawberry margarita and started mentally kicking myself for trusting the bitchling again. The drink was a bit on the strong side but tasted pretty good so I sipped and waited...and waited...

I started to see the bottom of my margarita so I called the bitchling. Again I shouldn't have been surprised to get no answer. I left a voicemail sounding bitchy as I could. Looking around the bar a bit I thought to myself how different an empty well-lit bar is from a full dark one. The afternoon sunlight pouring in the windows highlighted the thick layer of waxy gunk built up on the tables, chairs and especially the floor tiles.

"You'd never see any of that nasty shit in the dark when the party was going," I thought to myself.

I turned back to the bar to find the bartender had already made me a second drink without even asking me. I was feeling a pretty strong buzz already but shrugged it off thinking that I would probably be waiting here all fucking night anyway for the bitchling.

The sun seemed to lower in unison with the level of the pink booze in my second drink. Sofie's was getting dark and a few strays were starting to come in for drinks. I always seem to get warm when I drink. My face was starting to flush so I checked my phone. No texts. I called her again and got no answer. I put my phone back in my clutch and decided to start the long process of sobering up to drive.

I tried to wave down the bartender at the other end of the bar for a water but he was on the phone and just gave me a smile and a thumbs up when he saw me. Before I could try and get his attention again two men surprised me by sitting down on either side of me.

I looked back and forth between them. They were both younger guys in slacks and dress shirts.

"So this is where the party is?" the one on my left asked with a cute half smile at me.

"It is now," I smiled back and giggled nervously a bit. I was trying to be polite but still a bit wary.

"I'm Dan." the guy on my right introduced himself. He pointed to the guy on my left, "And this hideous beast is Joe."

I giggled again, "He doesn't look all that hideous." I smiled at Joe.

During our introductions the bartender dropped a third margarita in front of me and turned away for the other end of Sofie's again.

"Dammit," I mumbled. "I didn't really want another drink..."

"Yeah sorry about that...that's Earl." Joe pointed at the bartender's back. "He does that on purpose to sell more booze."

"Hey Earl! She didn't want this!" Dan yelled across me holding up my drink.

Earl turned and covered the phone's mouthpiece and yelled back, "Oh sorry honey, it's on the house." He was back to his phone call before I could protest.

"Earl knows its a gamble but you'd be surprised how many people don't protest and then pay for the extra drink." Dan leaned in and placed his hand on the backrest of my barstool.

I sucked down the last boozey bit of my second drink and pushed the third one back toward the working side of the bar.

"Both of these guys were pretty damn good looking." I thought to myself. Both of them were clean-cut with strong jawlines. Dan had piercing blue eyes.

I was definitely feeling a strong buzz. I'd gone from a little warm to outright hot and could feel my face flushing again. The place had gotten much darker and louder.

"So you guys come here a lot then?" I asked for the sake of polite conversation.

They were both leaning in toward me now so they could hear me and I could hear them. Between their smooth demeanor and my drunkenness, I didn't mind it.

"Yeah we're here like stink on shit." Joe colorfully explained.

I giggled again.

"We've never seen you here before though." he added.

"Yeah we'd definitely notice a beautiful girl like you in here." Dan chimed in. These guys were so smooth and I could feel my self blushing.

"I used to come here a lot back when I was younger." I half yelled so they could hear me.

"When you were younger?" Dan asked looking playfully critical. "What are you in your mid twenties?"

I rolled my eyes and added a sarcastic, "Ha-ha." I could tell he was trying to flatter me. Don't get me wrong I did appreciate it but being 36 I know how much my two kids have aged me.

"What?! We're serious! You're a hottie with a body." Joe argued.

The wrong guy saying a phrase like "hottie with a body" would definitely fall flat with most women but these guys were so confident and funny that they managed to pull it off. Despite my sister's stupid plan I was starting to have fun.

"Come on you guys probably say that to any piece of ass that gets lost and ends up in this dump." I chided with a laugh.

Dan got a bit serious as his piercing eyes locked with mine and he said, "I'd go to great expense to have a beautiful woman like you." His words and those incredible eyes put butterflies in my stomach, the kind of butterflies that seem to tickle your sex organs from the inside.

I blushed again and after what seemed like an eternity of the intoxicating eye contact I replied, "You'd be surprised how affordable I am." I giggled again.

At the time I didn't really think about what Dan had said or how my reply might be perceived. I was just trying to be funny and show a little humility but it came out sounding a lot more sultry than I realized.

Dan was about to say something but right then my phone went off with a text message. It was from the bitchling,

I excused my self and read, "Sorry, I'm coming. Just order a drink."

That was so typical of her. She seems to have no concept of time and she had no understanding that I'd already been there for over an hour.

I stared at my phone debating telling her to fuck off. Those types of arguments never go well with her though. And Dan and Joe were doing a pretty good job of entertaining me.

I texted her back an unenthusiastic, "K".

Then I texted my husband, "Grrr! Fucking bitch isn't even here yet!"

I set my phone down and looked up at the third margarita that Earl had brought. It looked so good...

I caved and slid it back across the bar to me. The first slug I sucked through the straw was right off the bottom and loaded with booze. Stirring the drink, my throat burned a bit as I swallowed.

My phone rang. It was my husband. It was too loud inside the bar so I excused myself from Dan and Joe again but this time slid down off the barstool.

The second my feet hit the ground I knew I was in trouble. I was way more buzzed than I thought. I steadied myself and went out the door onto the street answering the phone just before it went to voicemail.

"Hey baby." I answered.

"Clarisa's not even there?!" My husband sounded pissed. Not at me, he just really didn't tolerate the bitchling's bullshit.

"No she just texted saying she's on her way." I replied.

"That fucking bitch."

"Yeah" I agreed. "How's are the girls?" referring to my kids.

"They're good. It's just about bedtime. So you've been sitting in a bar alone all this time?" He asked sounding annoyed again.

I laughed and told him I was feeling pretty drunk. I took on a teasing tone and told him I had two hot younger guys hitting on me.

My husband immediately got interested and blurted out a couple questions.

I told him briefly about Dan and Joe.

"Baby that is so fuckin hot..." He cooed.

I giggled in reply. My husband and I have played around a bit with other guys (straight threesomes and watching me type stuff) and he always really seems to like it.

"Are you going to fuck either of them?" He asked outright.

I giggled, "I wish but Clarisa is still coming." I said only half joking.

"What? Fuck that. You should blow that bitch off and have some fun for yourself."

I giggled again.

"Seriously just make up some excuse that you have to go and do it baby...and take some pics for me." He continued.

"Yeah we'll see." I replied.

"Seriously baby you should have some fun. And don't drive home until you're sobered up." He added that last part as an order.

We had to wrap up the call as the kids were getting into trouble. My stomach turned a bit as I thought of how a big part of me really wanted to fuck one of those guys.

"But I'm not ditching Clarisa. She'd bitch about that for months." I thought.

I returned to the bar taking my place between the guys. Both of them were drinking beers.

I had this nervous feeling like they knew I was just talking about them so I took another long swig off my drink.

We talked and joked. The time passed relatively easily with them as I asked them about themselves. They told me about their jobs at some kind of accounting firm and before I knew it my drink was gone and another 45 minites had passed.

I pulled out my phone again and checked it. No sign of the bitchling.

"You're not getting ready to leave us are you?" Joe asked looking at my phone and my empty drink.

"No way!" I joked with another laugh. "You guys are where the party's at tonight!"

They liked that and I slipped off a quick text, "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" before putting my phone back.

"But I do have to use the little girls room." I slid down off the bar stool this time falling enough that Dan had to catch me. One of his hands caught me right under my left arm and his forearm pulled upward on my left tit as he helped me regain my balance.

"Easy beautiful." He said as I felt Joe stand up behind me. His whole body pressed against my backside as I over corrected backwards from Dan. I knew with 100% certainty that I had just pressed up against an extremely hard cock in Joe's pants. It had practically drilled a hole in my left ass cheek.

It was so brief a second but so incredibly hot that I felt my stomach turn a bit and my pussy dampen.

"You good?" Joe asked as I stepped away, his hands still steadying my waist.

I couldn't reply. Embarassed I bit my lower lip, giggled and nodded as I stumbled toward the bathroom.

It was the longest trip of my life! I was so wasted!

I took the longest pee of my life the whole time thinking about that cock I'd nearly been speared with.

"Did I do that to Joe?" I thought to myself. I caught myself trying to imagine what his cock looked like and how big it was. I had this micro-fantasy of Dan's blue eyes staring into mine as he squeezed my tits.

I stopped myself from thinking about it. I checked the mirror in the bathroom and adjusted my tits for maximum cleavage. I must admit I was feeling a bit proud of being able do that to Joe. I looked at myself one last time. "I do look pretty hot tonight" I giggled aloud in the bathroom. "I'm pretty damn drunk."

When I approached my barstool Joe turned to me and said, "I knew you'd come back for it."

I was shocked and befuddled as he sat looking at my face expectantly. Did he know I had thinking about his cock the whole time I was in there?

What seemed like an eternity passed before Dan grabbed my clutch and held it up. "Your purse." He said with a half smile. "You always trust strangers with your purse?"

They had to have heard the sigh of relief I let out. I regained my composure quickly. "Why did you guys steal my money?" I quipped.

He set the purse down and I ran my hand lightly up his arm as I continued, "You boys both look very honest to me."

They chuckled and Joe gestured at my bag, "I think your phone went off while you were in there."

I grabbed at it and sat half my ass on the seat as I read. "Sorry not coming after all. Yada...yada...yada..." It went on to explain some stupid Clarisa boyfriend drama bullshit that I won't bore you with.

I dropped the phone hard back on the bar. My head was spinning from the walk and the booze and being pissed and the two aroused guys on either side of me and the husband's commands and the decisions before me. It all swirled in my alcohol-fogged tunnel vision and seemed overwhelming.

"Is everything alright?" Dan asked.

"Yeah..." I sighed "well no but yes. It will be. Just a cancellation." I fumbled for words as my mind spun.

"We can be your date's tonight." Dan offered with that sexy half smile. "You want another drink on us?" Dan asked.

"I probably shouldn't." I said with another sigh.

We all three sat quite for a minute while my head continued to spin.

Finally Dan broke the silence. "I'm just going to come out and ask, How much would it be for us?"

I went from spinning to reeling inside. "What the fuck was he asking?"

I must have looked mildly retarded when I turned to look at him with a "Huh...?" and my mouth wide open.

Dan looked a whole lot more serious and asked in a slow methodical tone, "How much would it be for us to be your dates tonight?"

A million questions flooded the fog in my mind and started slowly answering themselves. The realization came along slowly.

These guys really thought I was a prostitute...

I started recalling a flurry of things I had said that may give them that indication. I started thinking of the typical black dressed, high-heeled escort sitting in a seedy bar looking for a 'John'. I was dressed close enough the part I suppose.

Part of me was feeling indignant like I should scream out, "I'm not a fucking hooker you asshole." But another part of me thought this was all too funny. I'd played right into this confusion by not thinking about how I was phrasing things.

Being heavily doped on icy strawberry booze, the humor in it won. I burst out laughing. Both Joe and Dan wriggled nervously in their seats not sure what to think of my reaction.

Their faces flushed and looked extremely embarassed when I choked out through my laughter, "You guys think I'm a hooker?!"

"Oh my God!" Dan exclaimed. "I'm so fucking sorry! When you said..."

I stopped Dan putting my hand over his mouth while I continued laughing.

"Oh fuck." Joe said exasperated burying his face in his hands.

Dan pulled away from my hand and said again, "I am so fucking sorry. I am such an idiot." He withdrew looking down at the bar.

"It's okay." I said still laughing. "Just get me another drink." I needed one.

Joe jumped on it, "I'm so sorry." He stood up and yelled out. "Earl one more for her."

As he sat he apologized again, "Fuck. I am so fucking sorry."

The concerned looks on their faces killed me and I started laughing all over again. Dan turned away looking pissed and took a big swig of his beer. I started feeling a bit bad for him.

I slapped a hand on his shoulder and was able to get the hint of a smile out of him by asking, "It's the dress and the heels right?" I burst out laughing again.

This went far to lighten both of their moods but still they kept apologizing.

I settled down a bit as my drink arrived and reassured them on more time that I understood that I had said a few things that might make them believe that I was a hooker.

I took a big swig and calmed down from my laughing fit. Without really thinking I asked a question meaning for it to sound hypothetical, "I hope I look like some kind of upscale escort at least...I'm not dressed like some kind of cheap skank hooker am I...?"

Dan took a hold of my hand and pulled it close in to his chest almost hugging it. He looked hard at me with his piercing blue eyes and wearing the most sincere look on his face that I have ever seen said, "You definitely are no piece of street trash. My friend and I were prepared to pay any amount we could afford for you tonight specifically because you look far to beautiful to be a hooker. I am so sorry for the misunderstanding."

It was the oddest and also somehow the most touching compliment any man had ever given me. I think if I had to pinpoint a specific time that night where I made the decision to do whatever these men wanted, I would have to give it to that exact moment.

The mood changed to an almost somber silence between the three of us as I took my hand back from him and drank a bit more. They both took swig off their beers looking strain silently forward into nothing in particular.

I leaned back in my barstool and paused a long second before stammering out the question that had popped into my mind.

"You mean...like when you say 'WE would have paid anything...' you mean 'we' as in...both of you...at the same time...?" It came out sounding more sheepish at the end of the question than I would have liked. I sounded like I was some kind of innocent schoolgirl.

"Yeah...we've uh...done that type of thing before." Joe answered slowly and warily as if waiting for any sign of negative judgement from me.

"Of course...Yeah...I mean..." I tried to correct my tone. "So have I..." I trailed off after overcorrecting. It wasn't a lie. I really had been in threesomes with my husband. I just don't share that with every stranger I meet.

"You have..?" Joe asked trying to mask his surprise.

"I had to tell them about it now..." I thought biting my lip.

"Yeah...my husband is uh...pretty open-minded about stuff like that."

They both looked on with peaked interest.

I offered no more and just sucked at the straw on my drink greedily.

"Are you guys uh...bi then...? Like...bisexual...?" I gestured back and forth between them.

They both denied right away.

"We keep things pretty hetero." Joe explained.

Another long silence. I sipped my drink again feeling pretty woozy.

Dan finally broke in. "Is your husband...? Bi...?"

I told them no and explained that he kept things pretty hetero and he also liked to watch me or have me tell him stories about my encounters afterwards.

We chatted some more and drank some more and as the mood lightened we started joking more. After that my memory of the night's events starts to get really spotty.

I remember us doing shots. I don't remember how many I did though. I remember laughing a lot and trading some touches with them, both playful touches and erotic ones.