After my last few stories, I felt it was time for a little burn the bitch and why not a Christmas one.
You can probably see where this is going, enjoy the journey. It is supposed to be a bit of fun.
How to ruin a perfectly good Sherry trifle
I heard the cat flap close and I guessed it was Twinkle, our calico cat. She loves it when I work from home. I heard her mew. I recognised the sound, despite telling her repeatedly not to talk with her mouth full she often did. She was standing in front of the fridge. She knows where we store our food so she brings us what she has caught and wants to swap it for her food and treats. As I walked up to her, I swear she smiled as she dropped what she caught. I saw it was a shrew as it disappeared out of the kitchen into the lounge. Bugger, we had played this game before. I chased the shrew, behind the bookcase, around the bay window past the log basket and under the television cabinet. The creatures Twinkle brought in rarely made it past the bay window, often we would catch them as they left the relative safety of the bookcase. We kept a seaside shrimp net for the purpose, it was just a small loop of wire with a net looped around it on a bamboo stick. The net was ideal for catching the live presents Twinkle brought us.
I reversed the stick and swept it under the cabinet. Out shot the shrew straight into my waiting hand. But I felt a resistance on the stick, but first the shrew that I was trying to save the life of was biting my hand. Never mind a quick trip down the garden and set the little creature free. I had to hurry as it was cold and I would have had problems putting a coat on with one hand. I wondered what was stuck under the cabinet, another sweep with the shrimp net and out popped a mobile phone. Why would there be a mobile phone under the television cabinet?
I pushed the on button and it lit up straight into the welcome screen, it wasn't locked. I wondered whose it could be there was only my wife Alice and me in the house, how long had it been there? It was fully charged, so not a long time.
I could see messages coming in, I opened Messenger and my life started falling apart.
'Miss your touch.'
'you will have to wait.'
'next week, one afternoon before Christmas.'
'OK see what I can do.' That was dated yesterday.
All from someone called 'R'. I had a bad feeling.
I opened the contacts and there was only one contact. 'Ralph.'
Ralph was Alice's boss at work. Shit. She was having an affair with her boss.
I went and sat at my desk and went through the phone. It was damming, times, places, messages. It had been going on for about six weeks. There were no messages of love.
Alice went on about the excitement of it all, the planning, the expectations even on my shortfalls, that hurt. She was the one that was not adventurous, not me. I was always wanting to try new stuff. She did not until recently, was that Ralph?
Then I looked at the photos. There were pictures of them together in restaurants, what looked like hotel room beds together and three pictures of them in a personal bedroom, you could see what looked like dressing tables with pictures on the wall. It was not our bedroom. I suspect it was Ralph and his wife's bedroom. Was she involved?
I sat at my desk and downloaded all the messages, emails and pictures. There was not a lot, but what there was, was damning.
Twinkle could see I was upset and came onto my lap to give me some love.
I thought that strange because there had been no slacking in our love life, in fact over the last month it seems to have picked up. Alice had started initiating sex and had been a bit more receptive to my suggestions. We even did it in the back of our car on the way back from my work's Christmas dinner last week because she was feeling randy.
That did not change a thing about how I currently felt. She had cheated on me, she was going down and he was going with her.
I deleted all my doings, turned the phone off and put it back.
The nanny cam, well, cat cam in our case. We had a camera set up in the lounge to watch Twinkle when we were both at work to see what she was doing, sleeping mostly, or climbing the curtains. It was normally turned off when we were at home. I would leave it on permanently now and there was one in the kitchen too.
It was Tuesday now and Christmas Day was a week Thursday. A plan crept into my head. But he would not have her, she was my wife. He could have her after the divorce.
Alice came in at the usual time, nothing seemed any different from every other day for the last five years we had been married.
I met her at a friend's party seven years ago, we had both just graduated from university. I was an architect and Alice was in physics. We got married and were both employed. I often worked from home on small projects but attended the office at least once a week or on larger projects where I needed more computing power. Alice worked for a local explosive manufacturer making micro explosives and mobile phones were not allowed on site. All mobile phones at her work were left in lockers at the entrance when booking into the site. Alice car shared with two other colleagues.
I suspect she would leave the phone at home when she was car sharing. I could check that was the case, as it was her turn to take her car tomorrow.
After dinner, I started my plan. I did consider warning her about my thoughts on infidelity, but it was too late as she had committed the act.
"Alice, we need to talk." I said after we had put the dishes in the dishwasher. A worried look crossed her face, but I just smiled at her.
I sat her on the settee and took both of her hands in mine. "I think we should start a family."
Her hands flew to her mouth and tears appeared in her eyes. I fleetingly wondered what those tears were for.
I continued. "I know we said we would wait till I got promoted so we could afford it, then it will wait until you get promoted and it will go on forever, and I feel now is the right time."
"Yes, yes. Yes." She said tears were flooding down now.
"There is more, I think we should invite the parents down for Christmas dinner and tell them our plan. You should stop taking the pill now and on Saturday we flush your pills down the toilet to celebrate."
She threw herself at me.
We went to bed early and we were both very tired in the morning. Alice could barely walk. Ralph would not be getting anything today if that was his plan.
The cat cam revealed her popping into the lounge and retrieving her phone before she left for work. She opened and texted something, she appeared to turn it off and dropped it into her handbag. I guess she could leave it in her car at work.
Thursday morning, I checked under the television cabinet, nothing there. That was worrying. After looking at the cat cam I saw she hid it under the settee this time. Did she suspect something?
I opened the phone and from the messages it was obvious she did not suspect anything. She told Ralph the affair was off as we were planning a family. He pleaded with her to carry on. She declined. Then he suggested they start up again after the baby was born. She kicked that into touch as well. Then he suggested one last meeting, he could arrange a course for her at the end of January and he would take a few days' holiday and they would spend two evenings together to finish the affair. She reluctantly agreed but said he would have to wear a condom; this time it was him that reluctantly agreed. She also warned him no shenanigans to get her pregnant, when she got pregnant, she would get a DNA test and if it was his she would ruin his life as well as harm him physically and permanently.
For a brief second, I was proud of her. It did not last. I visited a divorce solicitor and got the ball rolling.
One more thing before the Christmas dinner. That Friday was Alice's company Christmas party evening. I had not been invited. However!
Late Friday afternoon found me dressed all in black in the corner of Alice's works car park. Most people had left early to get ready for the party. Ralph's Audi Q7 E-Tron was there parked in a corner.
It was not difficult for me to slide underneath, remove the gearbox oil drain plug and drain the oil into a container, I took the drain plug with me. I put the oil in a container for two reasons, I did not want the oil to leak out from under the car and be seen before he drove away and I was going to leave the container behind the car so it could be seen. Along with the missing drain plug, it would be obvious it was sabotage.
As I suspected Ralph ignored the dashboard warning and drove off. The thing about explosive manufacturing sites is that they tend to be in remote areas. So, when the car stopped he was all alone. I had followed him on my black bicycle. I watched him get out of the car and walk around it; he had his phone in his hand. He did not hear me coming and jumped when I tapped him on his shoulder. He turned and saw me in black clothing with a black balaclava and even tinted glasses so he could not see my eyes.
"Give me your phone, watch and wallet."
"But..."
A tap with my black baseball bat on his left knee convinced him it was a good idea.
"Give me your laptop bag"
He opened the passenger door and got it from the seat.
"Open it."
He did and showed me inside. There were two laptops and some paperwork.
"Write down the Pin numbers for your credit cards and passwords for your laptops and phone."
He scrambled to comply.
Before he handed me the paper. I swung the bat and smashed the headlight. Jagged glass and plastic went everywhere.
