Gail had never been the wild girl, she knew that even her best friends would describe her as safe, reliable and sensible! While this had bothered her on the odd occasion she had during her 39 years managed to get good grades at school, graduate with a first in University and land a great graduate position that had really set her on her career path to be a defence lawyer.
She knew that being a lawyer also didn't help, the hours of research, the sensible clothes and the public scrutiny all played a part in reinforcing that perception of her as safe and sensible.
But in her mid 30's something had changed she wasn't sure exactly what it was and when she had brought up these vague feelings with her girlfriends they all dismissed them as just her worrying about getting older. Still from 35 to now 39 these feelings had only gotten stronger not disappeared or gone away.
Of course being a sensible, career minded woman Gail was married to her husband Tom and they had a daughter who was turning 10. Gail had seldom if ever thought that there was anything wrong with her marriage and hadn't for a second considered that her feelings of disquiet were in anyway related to her domestic situation.
All she knew about how she felt was that she felt at times like something was missing that somehow she had missed something important. She had no idea what this thing was and given her heavy work schedule and domestic jobs as well she seldom had spare time to sit and think about these things deeply. The feelings just came to her sometimes and often at the most unexpected times.
The most recent of these times had been when she was in the local mall with her daughter. Approaching 10 her daughter was always happy to sit in the mall while Gail had a coffee and watch the older teenage girls strolling around, giggling and flirting with boys. Her daughter had asked her a question along the lines of, "Did you come to the mall with friend when you were younger mum?"
Gail replied "of course I did, honey."
As she said this she had become aware of the sensation that her experience was not like these girls. These gaggles of girls were dressed up, sexually precocious and seemed to have no problem flirting with boys. Gail had always been so serious and focussed at their age that if a boy had spoken to her she would have fled in the opposite direction at worst and at best have managed a weak smile and a quick reply. In fact, she recalled with embarrassment that when she was 15 she had often not come to the mall at all preferring to study for exams. She sat there finishing her coffee pondering why she felt embarrassed by this fact now? It hadn't bothered her at the time.
One of the recent developments that had not helped Gail feel any better was that she had joined a new firm as a partner recently. Most people that she worked with on a daily basis were eager graduates looking to make their mark and kick-off their careers or people in their first real legal job. Her firm had a great reputation as being a good name to have on your CV and always attracted great talent and she was glad that her reputation had helped in attracting some of the brightest young female lawyers in the area. She had joined 18 months ago, and had made a real impact in the firm's recruitment.
The thing that caused her disquiet though was that this firm was based right in the heart of London, convenient for work with the proximity of the courts but of course having a reputation as a great place for launching your career meant that it had a much younger ethos than her previous firm. People were always going out and organising things and Gail was conscious that she seldom went and if she did it was as a senior manager only to buy a round and then leave relatively early. She felt that she never went to these events, Gail the Partner did!
It was when her husband mentioned her approaching 40th and throwing her a special party that things started to really change for Gail. The details of the party got bigger and bigger, the location he wanted to book was quite extravagant and a lot of friends, colleagues and associates from various organisations would be invited and this was still most of a year away from her actual birthday.
The more the details were discussed the more Gail felt less like it was about her and more that it was a big party for the sake of being seen to have a big party! but she knew with both their careers that it was always likely to end up like this. So, dresses were being discussed, along with decorations and themes including other things like that which simply took more of her time. That and her growing sense of uncertainty and the fact that she was really starting to dread turning 40 or was it the party?
None of this was helping her growing sense of something being not quite right!
In February Gail and Tom were invited to a friend's 40th Birthday party, which sounded like the polar opposite of the massive thing Tom was organising for Gail. Her friend Debbie who she had known for about 15 years, since they had worked together early in their careers, was a really down to earth woman. She was 5 foot 4, wore jeans all the time, loved rock music and had always thrown herself into the party lifestyle of a young graduate in London. On many of these occasions she had pulled Gail along with her and while Gail didn't have many drunken escapade stories the ones she did have all seemed to involve Debbie.
In fact Gail's one and only one night stand had happened after a particularly wild night out followed by everyone going back to Debbie's flat to keep the party going through the night. A quick fumble on the sofa turning into a frantic fuck on top of her friends bed and piles of coats.
They had remained good friends all this time and regularly met up in London for a coffee and a catch-up and tried not to talk shop so Gail was really looking forward to the party.
"What are you wearing tomorrow?" Tom asked her as they settled down in front of the TV on Friday night.
"OH I don't know a dress probably but more casual than dressy, you know Debbie she will probably be in jeans," Gail replied.
"Hmmmmm the invitation just says come as you are," Tom said.
Gail sighed she could tell Tom just wanted to go in a casual shirt and jeans but that if she was going to be smarter he would feel he had to be smarter as well.
"Yeah I know you can wear jeans and a shirt if you like," she sighed
"Great," he replied "as long as you don't make me look too much like a slob with your outfit."
Gail laughed "I am sure we will be fine whatever we wear it's a party with a rock band followed by a DJ playing."
Still Tom felt the need to say "Yeah but don't wear to smart a dress I want to have fun and dance and you get so protective of some of your clothes."
"OK Tom I get it casual is good I'll look at some options in the morning," Gail replied, "I might have to go shopping!"
After sending Tom off to drop their daughter off with his parents for the night Gail started to have a look at clothes. She knew what Tom meant her wardrobe was predominantly full of work clothes which were way too boring for a party, or casual clothes which were probably too much on the casual side. Tom would be wearing jeans and a shirt but the shirt she knew would be quality and the jeans he wore were quite expensive.
Gail called one of her friends and asked her for advice/what she was wearing. Turns out jeans and a top seemed to be the standard combination for most of their friends. It had actually been a while since Gail had bought a decent pair of jeans so she headed out.
As she browsed through the jeans an assistant came over and after a quick discussion Gail was heading into the fitting room with several pair of jeans that the assistant had described as skinny jeans. Despite approaching her 40th year Gail had a good figure and was a nice size 10 she was still pleased that the jeans were called skinny even though she really knew that was the style name. At 5 foot 6 Gail needed a regular or long fit on her jeans so she had to try a few pairs on to get something that absolutely worked. Then it was down to style preference. She went for a pair of jeans that were quite expensive a brand she had never heard of but which the assistant assured her was quite a hit brand right now. She had a good look at herself wearing them and couldn't believe how little they left to the imagination. "it's like a second skin," she said to herself.
Now she needed a top and new underwear.
Before she walked away from the young assistant who had helped her pick the jeans she approached her again and said "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"No of course not that's my job really," she replied
"What age are you? sorry I know that's personal but I am going to a party and it's a 40th but I want to surprise people by wearing something a bit less me, a bit younger not my usual old thing," Gail spluttered out, the words seeming to come on top of each other. She realised she was nervous asking the question. No not the question, nervous to be doing something she hadn't thought through, to be acting on impulse and to be doing something no-one who knew her well would expect. Gail wondered what had come over her recently?
"Sure that's OK I'm 21, still a student so I see a lot of different clothes girls my age wear. Also working here, I get to see a lot of really cool clothes that I could never afford, but if you are asking me what I would wear with those jeans for a party? then I definitely have a recommendation for you," she smiled.
"Really that's great can you show me?" Gail asked.
"Follow me," she replied.
The assistant led Gail to another section of the shop.
"I love this top," she said pulling out a silver top which shimmered and moved really nicely. It would sit just slightly above the waistband of the jeans showing a little bit of flesh and was largely backless.
"it's so fun, gorgeous and sexy," she said "and if I could afford to buy a £100 top this is the one I would buy. It's just perfect for a party with those jeans. The way it will move when you dance is great"
