Trying to Measure up to Saint Greg

Living Up To Saint Greg

Since I'd walked away, there had been no phone calls, e-mail, or even a text messages between Lisa and I. Faith called once, but I hung up on her. She and Robert showed up on my doorstep a month after the wedding to apologize and plead her mother's case. I told her to go home and ask for her mother's forgiveness because mine wasn't up for sale. Not any longer.

When I was told I'd be speaking at this year's annual meeting I tried to get out of it. It is being held in Miami Beach and although I wouldn't mind going there, I heard Lisa was also attending.

When my boss handed me the pairings for this years team challenges I saw that Lisa and I had been paired up like we had been all those years ago. I stared at him.

"Why don't you take a couple of extra days and the two of you figure this out. Neither one of you are worth a damn anymore, and I'd sure as hell hate to demote the two of you. I want my old employees back, one way or another."

The sales meetings ended late Saturday afternoon and all that was left was the awards dinner later that night. Lisa and I'd been civil to one another, though we could both feel the underlying tension between us. Lisa texted me and said she wanted to talk after dinner and to meet her in the club across the street. Seven years ago we did that in the Disney Village. We drank too much, and ended up in bed. As I said before, I have a soft spot in my heart for tequila and maybe still Lisa—after all, she still is technically my wife. Question is: Will she still be when we leave Tuesday?

Our team didn't even come close to winning anything this year. Of the ten teams, ours came in eighth. The other couple that was competing with us were pissed at the two of us.

"You guys didn't even fucking try." They were right. My heart just wasn't in it. I'd spent two days looking at all the changes in Lisa. Her hair was a lot shorter and she had dyed it a dark brown. It was cute, but I liked her old color and style a lot more.

The last challenge was a four-lap race in the hotel pool. Each one of us was to swim one lap. When Lisa dropped her robe I finally saw the full transformation. She was cut! She'd lost any fat that had been on her and replaced it with muscle.

"Steve, you're swimming the first lap," my teammates yelled at me breaking me out of my stupor. Okay. Like every other contest we bombed that one also. I finished dead last in my heat, which set the stage for the rest of the group. Lisa was anchor and caught two others but it was all in vain. Thank God the contests were finally over, I thought to myself.

The rest of the afternoon we all sat around the pool and the outside restaurant, drinking and or getting ready for the evenings activities. I watched Lisa from a far as she mingled with the others, both men and women. She never once looked my way.

I love public speaking and am pretty damn good at it; that's why I have the job I have. Tonight's speech had already been written but I spent the next two hours making minor revisions. I wanted it to hit home for everyone especially Lisa.

The dinner was pretty good. The chicken wasn't dry, the steak was tender and even the salmon wasn't overcooked and flakey. I'd had only one glass of wine, there was no way in hell I wanted to make a fool of myself, especially since it was being taped for the corporate office.

I started off with a couple of jokes making sure they were no stronger than a PG rating, didn't need a sexual harassment suit on a training seminar. I thanked everyone for their hard work for the past year and singled out a couple for achievement awards. After giving out the checks to the top three in each division I came to the end of my speech.

"We had a good year. It wasn't great and there were more than a few obstacles but we all survived." I was looking straight at Lisa. "The only reason this company is as successful as it is, is because of the people in this room. Everyday you go into work and give it your all. And, if someone needs help, you're right there to lend a hand. We're a team and a team watches out for the others of the team. You see, if one member of the team doesn't support the other members, what you have is not a team but a dictatorship. It may work for a while, but in the end, there will be nothing left. So, support your other employees and make them better team members, because like I said, if you don't, all you'll have left is memories of what you could have had."

I got a standing ovation.

I worked the room, told my other team members I'd do better next year and left the room. I went back upstairs and took off my suit and put on a pair of casual pants and one of my favorite dress tee shirts. My night wasn't over just yet.

The club was packed, and why wouldn't it, it was a Saturday night. There wasn't a table to be had so I found an open spot at the bar and ordered two shots of tequila straight up. I was a bit early but figured I'd rather be early than late for our little meeting.

Lisa had beaten me there and was on the dance floor kicking up her heels with one of the guys from the corporate office. I watched and debated whether to leave but decided to stay, at least for a little while; I still have half a drink to finish. After she started on her third dance I was done. I threw the drink to the back of my throat, left a tip and started for the door. I never made it.

"Steve, when did you get here?" Lisa asked wiping the sweat from her brow.

"About a half hour ago."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"You looked a little busy and I didn't want to interrupt your good time."

"I told you to meet me here, I was just waiting for you."

"Well, I'm here, what do you want to talk about?"

"Not here Steve, I thought we could find a quiet spot but that's not going to happen. How about your room?"

"How about the bar at the hotel?" I replied. She gave me a look and said that would work.

With drinks delivered we sat there in silence just staring at one another. "Your dime sweetheart," I said sipping on my drink.

"You know, that was really rotten what you did."

"I beg to differ. I think I was pretty decent about it. I could have cancelled the dinner also but I didn't. And besides, it was my money."

"Our money. I also worked and my money went into OUR checking and savings accounts. And WE lost a ton of money on that reception."

"Not really, we saved a ton...I or we didn't have to pay the bill for an open bar. That in itself would have been well over a grand. But, I don't think you went through all this trouble to rehash a wedding that put the final nail in our coffin. By the way, they still together? Knowing Daddy's little girl I'll bet not."

"Believe it or not, they still are. They had a few tough months but Robert laid down the law after what happened at the rehearsal dinner and the reception. It seems he got tired of Faith's attitude real quick and moved out for a couple days after an ugly fight. I think she finally got it through her head that the Earth and Sun didn't revolve around her. And, since she's now pregnant life isn't like what it used to be. I told her that I hoped that she has a girl just like her. She said she wouldn't wish that on her worst enemy. My little girl is growing up."

"Too bad it didn't happen about two years earlier."

"If it means anything, Faith said she's sorry for what she put you through. And, Debra and Tim are sorry too. They were going to call but figured they'd stay out of it but did write you letters." She took two out of her purse, handing them to me. I put them in my pocket.

"Okay, we've talked about the kids, your kids, what's left? Our jobs? Mine is going well, except my boss wants me to get my head out of my ass and settle things with you. Seems I'm not as good as I used to be. I'm told you're not worth a shit either but I figured you would have found someone else by now. Especially the way you look. How much weight did you lose anyway?"

"None. I weigh exactly the same as when you left. I got rid of a lot of fat and put on a lot of muscle. Muscle weights more than fat. And, thanks for noticing and there isn't anyone else. I spend five days at the gym and two nights with a therapist. Seems I've got a few problems to work out." We ordered another round of drinks.

"How about you? Anyone special in your life?"

"Not really. I'm a two time loser and not about to go there again."

"You're not a two time loser, we're still technically married." That brought a smile to my face.

"That I'm kind of shocked at. After three months I kept looking over my shoulder waiting to get served."

"Why didn't you file Steve? You were the one that decided to walked away."

"I figured that I'd save the money and let you file. The house was in your name, same with the furniture except the new bedroom set we bought together. I took what I wanted that night and rest you can have."

"You don't want any pictures?"

"Took a few weeks before I left. I guess you didn't notice the ones from our honeymoon missing. So with it being a 50/50 state, there wasn't anything left to argue about."

"So, that it? You just want to crawl, I mean walk away?"

"I didn't walk away from a viable marriage. There wasn't anything left worth saving."

"We could have talked about it before you went nuts on everyone."

"Lisa, I tried for months, you just weren't listening. You were in mommy mode giving your little girl everything she wanted. I think that Keith fiasco was the last straw."

"You know Keith didn't walk Faith down the aisle. After the everything came to light at the rehearsal dinner he said that no way in hell was he getting in the middle of it. He left that night and didn't even attend the wedding. Tim walked her down the aisle. He held off until the last minute hoping that you'd change your mind and show up."

"He always was a good kid and I think he actually liked me."

"He did and still does. He raked Faith, Debra, and even me over the coals for driving you away. I didn't see it at first, but after six months of therapy, I do now. So, where do we go from here? You want to file? You want me to file? You want to try again? What the hell do you want?"

That was the question of the night. What the hell did I want? At that moment I didn't even know myself. So I did what every good executive does, he delegated.

"What do you want Lisa?"

"I'd like to try again, just the two of us."

"Why do you think it would work this time? We'll still have Faith, Debra and Tim still in the picture."

"And they always will be. Steve, when you married me, you married my family; we're a package deal. It took me six months of hard work to realize my mistakes You and I were the coaches and the kids were the players. Players don't dictate to the coaches what they want. I forgot that. I was trying to please everyone and in the end I pleased no one and drove you away. I'm sorry but I can't go make and unmake those mistakes. All I can do is tell you that if we try again, it will have to be only the two of us. I can't live for my kids and Greg any longer."

"Lisa I can't go back there. I can't go back to Greg's and your house; not going to happen."

"Steve, the house is gone. I sold it four months ago. Even if we don't end up back together I had to finally bury Greg and move on with my life. It's just that I'd like it to be with you if at all possible."

We sat in that bar until it closed and the lights were turned off. I wanted the happy ending but still had a lot of questions banging around in my head. My brain was fried.

"Lisa, I'm all talked out for one night. Why don't we get a good nights rest and talk tomorrow?"

"I agree with you but, I'm not going to sleep with you tonight. I love you, but if you don't want me, I won't be used because you're horny and need a little relief."

I was going to suggest sleeping together and just cuddling because I missed her closeness but I saw her point. I walked her to her room and gave her a kiss goodnight and then another, and then another before finally breaking away. I was rock hard.

I slipped under the covers at two forty-five and at four o'clock I was still awake. I played out every scenario in my head and at four thirty I got up and made notes so I wouldn't forget them. Would I look like a wimp if I took her back? A five o'clock I didn't care what anyone thought anymore. The last thing I remembered was seeing five fifty-five on the bedside clock.

The next thing I remember was someone was banging on my door. The noise sounded so far away and for a minute I almost fell back to sleep. I dragged my tired body over to the door and opened it without even bothering to look through the peephole. As I stood there in my briefs I was confronted with hotel security and Lisa.

"I thought you died!" her eyes were red and she was shouting. "Do you know it's almost noon? We were supposed to get together this morning to talk. When I couldn't reach you by phone I went to the desk to see if by chance you checked out." She waited for a response at that statement. I gave her none. "When they could reach you either we came upstairs to your room. We've been pounding on your door for the last couple of minutes. He was seconds away from using his pass card. Don't you ever scare me like that again!"

I said nothing. I was still in shock. I motioned for Lisa to come in and thanked security.

"Lisa, I didn't fall asleep until sometime after six, no wonder I slept through everything. I'm sorry I put you to all this trouble."

"Steve, you have no idea what was going through my head. I'm sorry to say most were not good things."

"Here," I said handing her the pad I'd made notes on last night. "Read through this while I take a shower and wake up. Why don't you order us breakfast and a large pot of coffee, I'm going to need it." With that said I headed to the bathroom. The shower helped but I was still drained. I didn't shave, I wasn't out to impress anyone and the way my hand was shaking I felt safety wise it was a good move. With jeans and a tee shirt I made my second appearance.

"I'm sorry I over reacted but, I just wasn't sure."

"Lisa, I wasn't going to off myself for you or anyone else." I think she took offence at that statement.

Minutes later there was a knock on the door. Breakfast was here. Okay, it wasn't what I was expecting. No pancakes, waffles, or buttered toast. I saw yogurt, oatmeal, fresh fruit, juice and coffee. She didn't even wait for me to open my mouth.

"I didn't get in the shape I'm in eating junk. If we're going to get back together, food could be a major issue. Steve, I eat healthy." I started with coffee adding in cream and sugar.

I ate in silence while I listened to Lisa talk; she'd studied what I'd written. "I agree that we need to see a councilor together but why does it have to be a man? I'm seeing a woman and she's helped to tremendously."

"I need to have someone see it from my point of view and not as the bastard man that walked out on you. There are two sides to every story, I just want my side heard and taken into account." We decided to see a man and women together if that was even possible.

We next talked about if we got together where we would live. "Lisa is it possible that you could transfer to the corporate offices? I relocated last time and we both know how that worked out."

"Steve, my whole family is back there. You expect me to drop everything and move four hours away from them?"

"You said yourself, that one of the big problems was that you couldn't break your bonds from them. Lisa, it's only four hours by car. I'm not asking you to move across the country from them. We need space if we've got any chance of making it." I stopped and looked at her. "That is if we decide to try again." Another Freidan slip. She smiled.

For hours we hammered at one another. The what if's and how would you handle this situation or that one were all asked. Finally I was done. I was tired; I had a headache and needed sleep.

"Lisa, come with me," I said, more as an order than a request. I led her into the unmade up bedroom and started taking off my clothes.

"Steve, I'm not ready to sleep with you yet," she was digging in her heels.

"Lisa, sleep is the key word. I'm dead on my feet and need at least a couple hours of sleep. You can join me, or leave, but if you do, please don't call security when I don't answer the door." I kissed her, turned off the light and climbed under the covers. My brain was mush.

It was dark when I woke up. The drapes were still open and I could see the nightlights from the street below. It took all of twenty seconds to realize I wasn't alone in bed. For once I was thankful for that fact. Her arm was draped over my chest and I could hear the sounds of her sleeping. The fuzziness of five hours ago was gone.

My brain replayed what we'd discussed. We'd talked, and talked laying it all out on the table. We'd gone into it with lust filled eyes and without a real plan of action. We'd both made a ton of bad decisions and had paid the price. Now what? Lisa stirred and rolled over on her back. In the dim light I looked at her outline and face. Okay, I was still in love with her whatever that meant. Now came the hard question, what to do next.

No, I didn't roll over, wake her up and have great sex and live happily ever after. It would have probably been better than nice but in real life that's not what happens. I ordered breakfast, two separate ones; healthy for her and not so healthy for me. I did kiss her awake and when she quickly sat up, I saw the body I'd lusted over before falling in love with her.

We had breakfast and talked like two mature adults. There were issues to overcome, hurts to heal, but there was still love there; how much we both weren't sure. We spent the day doing tourist things and I even talked her into going topless on Miami Beach along with twenty or so other women. "If anyone asks, just say we're walking the beach while our 50 meter sailboat is being serviced." She laughed at that. We did a lot of laughing that afternoon and evening.

Over dinner we made plans that weren't set in concrete. We both promised to discuss before reacting, her eyes not accusing me of anything. We went across the street to the club but after one dance left. Too many people and we both had other things on our mind. As we walked on the boardwalk we listened to the waves crash on the shore, stopping every once in a while for a kiss. How the night would end I could tell was on both of our minds.

She picked her room. It was slow and unrushed. It had been a long time and I didn't want to do anything stupid tonight. We didn't rip each other's clothes off but slowly undressed one another. It was nice. It wasn't mind-blowing sex but tender lovemaking; we were still in the healing stage. We only did it once and fell asleep me spooning her backside. I woke her up the following morning when my little head wanted to go again and rose to the occasion.

"I haven't been woken up like that in almost two years," she laughed and rolled over to face me. "You smell like me and after six hours it's not all that pleasant. Come on, let's shower," she yelled pulling me out of bed.

There was a lot of foreplay in that dam shower. We washed each other with tiny bars of soap that we kept dropping. When we finished I chased Lisa back into bed still dripping wet. This morning session was a lot wilder, trying more than a few positions.

"We okay?' Lisa asked when we finished.

"Not totally yet but we're on our way." I kissed her again.

We spent the day in and out of bed, had a great dinner and a quiet night on a rooftop balcony. We hadn't made any firm plans outside of trying to make it work again.

Over the next two months we solidified where we'd live and she settled into her new job as the liaison between marketing and sales at the corporate offices. Two weeks after returning we were in counseling, we were going to give it our best shot. All three of her kids were overjoyed and gave us a wide berth.