So yeah, the big fuck scene, the one I just spent 10 weeks editing and watching and editing and watching over and over again as a salve for my broken heart. What they'd watched so far, me seducing Dale, him then finally letting me have his dick? That wasn't it.
No, the big fuck scene in store for them was the finale. It was them fucking me up by leaving me heart broken. The same sequence over and over again from all the angles available. That's the story of my adult life though. I mentioned before that I do webcam shows, right? I've monetized my exhibitionist kink.
I'll bet you think it's fucked up right? That I should have multiple cameras recording events in my townhouse, 24-7, every room. I've told Dale and Kat also, and it doesn't look as if they've put two and two together yet.
I queued it up while in a bitchy mood. Now that I'm sitting on the toilet cleaning up my bloody puss, it's apparent my bitchy mood is due to my period. Two days early. Dammit, Katrina and Dale still owe me some fucks. Ah well, guess I'll wait 'til later to collect what they owe me. I'm not in the mood for fuck like this.
I open up my A/V app on my phone and dequeue the video, don't want them watching it without being able to see their faces. Instead, I queue up my Bitch In Torment playlist, it's a mix of Bloodrock, Coldplay and Bad Company tracks. It's on low now 'cause I'm not yet to the full on self loathing stage.
Katrina opens the bathroom door, looks in and says, "Are you okay Jessa? You've been in here a while. The video went away also."
"No, I'm not okay. My bloody little red bitch decided to visit two days early. The only thing I'm in the mood for is a shower and then slithering into bed to sleep the rest of the weekend. You and Dale can go fuck yourselves silly otherwise."
Katrina walked over to the shower stall and turned the water on. Made me feel guilty for being a grump. She asks, "You sure you don't want me to scrub your back?"
"I don't want anyone touching me right now," I grouse, "just stay out of my way while I feel sorry for myself."
"Okay grump, I'll go get your bed ready for you then," she tells me as she leaves without giving me a chance to complain.
Don't you hate that? People being nice to you when you want to grump and grouse and be miserable? It drives me nuts sometimes. But the water in the shower is hot and soothing. It almost makes up for the massive headache threatening. Didn't quite keep me from envisioning having to make the bed all over again to my satisfaction before I could go to sleep.
I get to my room with my sleep bed and inspect the job Kitty Kat had done getting it ready. Surprisingly enough, clean white sheets, thick blanket and a body pillow were waiting almost exactly like I wanted. I pull on my underpants, sweats and slide into bed with the light out.
Aside from a couple of trips to the toilet, I sleep until late afternoon. I check my phone and see that Saturday disappeared already and it's Sunday. Nobody is around. Turn up the volume on my Bitch In Torment playlist.
In the kitchen I find a note from Dale or Katrina, handwriting kind of looks like Dale's when I compare it to the list he started a couple of days ago. The note tells me there is some leftovers in the fridge, but I'm not in the mood for what I see in there. Nothing in there appeals to me, but I need something.
Spotting the half jar of green olives, I open that and munch on them while I try to decide if I want to cook something. The olives are helping, but they are salty and drinking the brine doesn't help that. Okay, I open my last can of ginger ale. Mmm, sugar. A menstrual cramp starts. Pickle juice is supposed to be good for cramps, so I pour some into a cup and drink that.
Odd combination all that, the flavors all mixing together. Salty, sugary, briny, gingery, vinegary, and so on again. My tampon is feeling squishy and now my underpants do to. I go take a shower and then get in bed. I need sleep before work tomorrow, get back up in a panic to make sure I have clean underpants for work. Can't go commando while the bitch is leaking out.
So, here I am, just about asleep, dwelling on why I'm all alone and why Dale and Kat hadn't at least told me they were going home. They didn't even give me a hug before they left. I could have used a cuddle while I'm feeling miserable. Why do I have abandonment issues all of a sudden?
Maybe that's been a problem for me all along. I'd usually get bored with my playthings and dump them before they got tired of me. But this time... this time... they had dumped me. That's what that video I was going to show them was all about. I need sleep dammit, leave me alone trouble!
Monday is hump day, not for work, for my cycle. I start to feel better, with less self loathing. Yesterday I loved them. Today, not so much. I start thinking that I should tell them to take a hike. I need to get back to being myself, not some plaything for them. See, that's not how things are supposed to work. They are supposed to be my playthings! How did everything get so topsy-turvy?
Tuesday, when the flow is lighter and I'm feeling more human, they both send me selfies and they are blowing me kisses. Okay, they're cute, I love 'em again. I text them to find out what they have planned for the weekend. Kat's response is that she is working midday Saturday, but I'm welcome to go over there anytime and she'll join me and Dale when she gets home.
Maybe I should do that, go over after Kat has gone to work Saturday and fuck Dale's brains out before she returns home and fuck her brains out while he's unconscious when she gets back. It looks like I'm starting to get horny again. Anyway, it's an improvement over how it was for me 3 weeks ago when I couldn't even think about sex. I make sure my nipples are hard and send them both a boob shot from my car in the parking lot at work.
The flow of my period stopped mid-morning Wednesday and I'm thinking about sex constantly like before they walked out of my life. I want to hang on to that feeling, but if they leave me again, will I be able to? Shit, now I hate them again. I'm thinking that on Saturday, it might be better to wait until Kat gets off work and have them meet me on neutral ground like Barbarossa's and tell them to fuck off.
I can't quite bring myself to send that text though. On the one hand, if I deviate from what they are expecting they'll know something's changed, right? And then they'll ghost me at Barbarossa's and I'll be right back where I was, abandoned. You've screwed me again haven't you trouble?
For the first time in fifteen fucking years I cry myself to sleep. Okay, maybe the fifth of Crown Royal after I got home made that last part inevitable. Liquid courage my ass! At least I got it out of my system. I didn't cry that day they walked out of my life last time. I just got morose and depressed, no crying.
So Thursday morning when I'm sober, I'm feeling kind of relieved now that the crying jag is out of the way. At work I'm multitasking again at last, thinking about both work and sex per my usual. It makes my boss tell me that he's glad to have me back. I hadn't taken any time off from work except last Friday, but you know. Maybe I should go rub one out in the restroom just to let him know that I'm 100 percent again.