Troglodyte

"And then he sent the bitch to a Mexican Whorehouse. The End."

I had just read the first attempt by my husband Jack Phillips at writing a BTB story for the Loving Wives section of Literotica. Even if you ignored the bad grammar, misspellings, and wrong word choices it was pathetic. I was torn between being honest and diplomatic in response to his question "What do you think of it Alicia?"

"Uh...well...it's certainly interesting," I started out, still trying to decide on the correct strategy. "You certainly got a lot of clichés into 674 words, but it has to be at least 750 words to be published, you know."

"Oh, I forgot; I can just add 76 more words about the wronged husband's revenge and get it up to speed," Jack enthusiastically replied.

"Uh...OK," I continued, "however why do you have all of the wife telling the husband that she's going out on a date and it won't affect them, in fact it will help their marriage; and that she's already cheating with his brother behind her back; and that she justifies occasional sex with a black man all at the same time? Wouldn't just one of those suffice?"

"Well I know that's what's normal, but as you know the women-hating troglodytes who do most of the commenting on Loving Wives stories will probably like all three of those at once since the cheating bitch will get hers," he grinned broadly.

"Well at least he knows his audience?" I mused.

"I understand, Jack -- but then there are the many different punishments for the cheating wife. Isn't that a little overboard? I mean how can you first have her shunned by the community and her kids and regretting that she ever cheated on her flawless husband, and then have her thrown out of the house and penniless, and then still send her to a Mexican whorehouse; wouldn't one suffice? And why does it have to be a Mexican whorehouse, why not a Honduran one, or Costa Rican one?"

"Well at least he didn't kill her too," I thought to myself trying hard to reign in my laughter.

"You don't get it Alicia; that's what's going to put my score over 4.5 -- she gets all three normal punishments as revenges. Also the readers don't know where Honduras or Costa Rica are; we've got to keep it more local." Then Jack paused, rubbed his chin, and with a big smile continued, "You know what, I think that after she's in the Mexican whorehouse for a year I should kill her off -- that will help get me up to 750 words too."

"I don't know about that, Jack..." I started to say finally willing to tell him that at least this aspect of his story was crap, but he was not to be deterred.

"I know what!" he said so excitedly that he also gave a little jump into the air as he said it. "I'll have her get AIDS, be beaten up by an ex-lover who she thought was a real gentleman but turns out to be abusive, and then fall into an acid bath in a manufacturing plant."

I could see that I wasn't going to be able to talk Jack out of his plan to put every revenge-on-the-cheating-wife cliché that appears in every unoriginal Loving Wives story on Literotica into his drama in his determined quest for a 4.5 troglodyte score.

"Uh, well...if you're determined to use everything that gets a high score in the same story, couldn't you at least use some richer language, with less common words? For example instead of 'brazen hussy' how about 'audacious trollop;' or instead of 'cheating bitch' you could use 'charlatanistic termagant.'" I posited.

"Are you crazy?" Jack rhetorically asked, waving his hands up and down. "Guys who give 5* ratings on Loving Wives stories don't like big words, and have never used a dictionary or thesaurus since High School. They'll mark my score down."

"Then how about at least something novel for how the husband finds out. Instead of all of high-tech cameras, his best friend cluing him in after he is naïve for ten years, overhearing a phone conversation, or coming home early from a business trip when his wife doesn't answer his phone calls or texts advising her of that, you do something different?" I inquired, with my game face on.

"What, like something from outer space?" he ruminated out loud. "Nah, guy readers who give five stars don't care about originality -- they want the same tried and true shit. I'll just leave my story having the husband find out all of the ways you mentioned within the same few days."

I sighed. "Well then what about the wife getting a charge out of him eating his brother's cum out of her pussy and him never figuring it out? Is that realistic?"

"Maybe not, but that always happens in Loving Wives BTB stories, and I think the readers expect it to get the picture that the wife is really evil," Jack responded proudly sticking his chest out.

I thought that I'd give it one last try, and then give up. "OK...I see your point. However, maybe you should at least give the black lover's dick a realistic size. According to real scientific studies, I know an alien concept to Literotica, someone with an erect penis 6.5 inches long is in the 95th percentile meaning out of 100 men only five are bigger, and the largest ever measured is 13.5 inches and that guy is admittedly a freak. You can't give the cheating wife's black lover a sixteen inch cock and call the husband's small at eight inches."

Jack thought for a second. "OK, I'll change the black lover's to 14 inches and the husband's to seven -- it seems that all the cheated-on husbands in Loving Wives stories have seven inch cocks, so that should make all of the guy voters feel comfortable."

I gave up. With a big smile I said "OK, darling, sounds like you got it all figured out. Just get the story up to 750 words and submit it; I'm sure that you'll score high!"

"Thanks, Alicia -- your favorable opinion really matters to me. I'll polish it up and submit it tonight and it should be published in two or three days," he grinned. "After I submit it be ready to receive my seven inch man meat," he chuckled, moving his eyebrows up and down, "of course after a little oral stimulation with my lizard tongue."

"Can't wait for his 4.75 inch long penis and half-inch long tongue" I sighed to myself as I smiled outwardly.

*************

Three days later as J. Phillip's tongue, lips, and fingers worked on my labia and clitoris I ran my fingers through his hair as I moaned "Yes, yes, oh Fuck Yes!" over and over again. I swear that I already had had a first orgasm, and soon after I came down from that I had one continuous orgasm for at least two minutes before he finally let up.

When he did let up he turned me on my hands and knees and then inserted his seven inch cock into my pussy in one stroke. I came again. He pummeled me while massaging my ass cheeks and then stuck his thumb in my asshole while he blasted my vagina with pulse after pulse of his thick seminal fluid as he grunted like a pen full of hogs. I screamed as I came again, and was then rendered comatose.

Within twenty minutes we had recovered and were facing each other on my marital bed with big smiles on our faces. After an exchange of sincere compliments on each other's carnal abilities I said "Well, Justin, what did you think of your brother Jack's Literotica story?"

Justin laughed. "I can't believe that that pile of shit got a 4.52 rating so far -- maybe some intelligent people will finally read it and knock it down some."

"I had to laugh when he had the cheating wife fucking the husband's brother in the story, in his marital bed, whenever the husband went out of town while he remained clueless for ten years," I chuckled.

"Do you think we really have five more years before he finds out?" Justin asked me with a mischievous grin.

"Sure, and more so -- unless we run off together before then. Unlike the dumb wife in his story I always do multiple checks of electronic equipment whenever he's away, have a proximity alarm on my iPhone which lets me know when he's within 500 yards of mine, and never do the stupid shit the bimbo in his story -- or the ones he likes to read about -- does. Now if I suck your dick will you fuck me again; I want to be sure to have as much of your jism as possible in my pussy when Jack gets home tonight."

"He's never figured out that he's eating someone else's cum?" Justin laughed.

"Nope -- just like the clueless husband in his story," I smiled.