Dan adjusted his tie as he stared at the text on the computer screen. It said, 'Waiting for the Host to Start the Meeting.' He had already been sitting there for five minutes waiting for his scheduled interview with the Nexcom Corporation.
He looked around the living room as he waited. The updated furniture and decor made a much better background than the stark white walls of his room. He didn't want his bed visible during his interview as that seemed unprofessional.
He hated how nervous he felt. In the past, he would do interviews just for practice, graciously turning down the offers that always followed. Now he was in a more desperate position. The economy was much tighter, and the supply of open positions wasn't there. With his current company reducing wages and his devil's bargain with Lester, he felt more anxious than he cared to admit. He really didn't want that anxiety to be apparent in the interview.
Perhaps he shouldn't have been so hasty to have dismissed Byron's offer. Maybe he could have negotiated. It wasn't like Byron could have been serious about what he was insinuating regarding Sarah, could he? He regretted how he'd handled that, but Byron did have it coming. Perhaps there was some way to salvage the situation --
The text faded to black, and in its place, the screen was divided in two, with a man and a woman appearing on each side. The hiring team at Nexcom introduced themselves and made some small talk with Dan before diving into the interview.
"So, tell us about the most recent project you've been working on," the woman asked. Dan could tell from her demeanor that he wouldn't have to work hard to convince her he was qualified for the position.
He paused briefly before saying, "I'm working on this really great project based in Minnesota that includes a ton of challenging sustainability requirements. It's going to be one of the flagship buildings for our clients. With it, I'm constantly juggling new requirements that pop up from our client. And I'm coordinating our internal team as well as all the contractors to line things up so that we deliver on time and under budget."
"What would your clients say about you if we were to ask them?" the man added. He was terse, and his eyes betrayed his caution. This was who Dan needed to convince.
Dan smiled, "Well, I think they would say I have been very accommodating to them, listening to their evolving project and ensuring I've helped them realize their vision, but I'm also able to guide them and push back in certain areas that don't make sense and might compromise their project. Overall, I'm sure they would say I have been an invaluable asset to their project and that they'd retain our firm for future projects going forward."
"Do you have other past clients like that? I ask because powerful referrals like that could help build up our book of business. Do you think you have clients in your network that might follow you to a new company?"
Dan felt like he was sliding back into a well-worn groove, "Of course. Granted, these are my relationships. I've cultivated them for years, and my reputation with them is important. I would need to ensure their interests would be protected and respected by any new company, so I likely would need to evaluate that over my first few months before I commit them to it."
The interviewers nodded and jotted down some notes. The man looked up first and said, "Dan, before we continue, I wanted to follow up on one point here that I see in your resume. Overall, your resume looks excellent and is pretty much an exact match for what we're looking for. Now I just want to clarify that we do take this hiring process very seriously, and as such we expect the same from our candidates."
"Of course," Dan replied, smiling.
"Great, great," the man looked down at a paper in front of him and then back up at Dan, "What I want to ask about here is the lack of certifications listed on your resume. The posting clearly stated we need candidates with certified training in project management, earthquake resistance design and other supporting fields. Are you certified in these areas?"
Dan took a second to collect himself. He was sure that all of his certifications were listed on his resume. "Yes, I am certified, and I double-checked what was required of the role to make sure I met each requirement before applying. Perhaps there was some mistake with my application; all of those certifications should be listed. I can provide you with that full list if you give me a moment."
"Please do," the man said, "It's essential we have someone in this role with a keen eye for details. Is that you, Dan?"
"Yes," Dan said, feeling as if he was being led somewhere by the conversation. "I take pride in the fact that I double-check and often pick up on details that others miss."
"Then why," the man said, "Is your resume littered with spelling errors? Even when you mention your attention to detail on your resume, the word detail is spelled wrong."
Dan knew that was bullshit. His resume was impeccable, and there weren't any issues with it. He was ready to correct this man but reminded himself that doing so wouldn't do him any favors.
"Perhaps," Dan started, looking at the woman on the screen, trying to discern how she felt about him, "An old version of my resume was submitted incorrectly. For that I take responsibility and would like to send you an updated one to ensure we are on the same page moving forward."
"I think that's wise," the woman said, "Obviously, we like your experience and wouldn't be interviewing you otherwise."
Her tone suggested she was lightly scolding her colleague. "Dan, perhaps you can tell us some more about your background."
"I would be happy to. Again, I will get you that updated resume. Prior to my current role, I used to work at...." Dan's voice trailed off as he heard a sound in the apartment. Lester was awake, which generally didn't happen until much later in the morning.
He stayed focused on the screen and tried to keep his composure despite the background noise, "I used to work at a design firm, Entra & Peck, that worked on projects around the globe. I spearheaded many prestigious projects for dozens of clients, most notably was...."
Dan could hear Lester's door shut and some shuffling sounds around the apartment. "It was an 80-story skyscraper in New York City. The project required us to coordinate a massive amount of contractors and work under tight budget --"
Dan stopped in mid-sentence as he saw a white blob move behind him on the camera. He watched in horror as the interviewer's eyes grew wide with shock. The woman put her hand over her mouth, and the man stifled a laugh with his fist. Dan watched in horror as Lester's naked form walked across his screen and paused behind him as he casually scratched his ass.
"Uh, I, uhh," Dan stumbled, trying to remember what he was just saying. He couldn't recall what the question had been. His eyes were glued to Lester's hairy, naked body.
"Okay, Dan," the man finally said, "I think we are done here for now. We'll be in touch."
The man's screen abruptly disappeared, followed shortly by the woman. Dan sat there frozen as his screen was filled with his own camera feed, displaying just himself as Lester walked past him towards the kitchen. Disappointment washed over him, and he became angry.
"God dammit, Lester!" Dan shouted, standing up. He marched towards the kitchen. As he rounded the corner, he immediately regretted it. Lester was stark naked, bent over, rummaging around the refrigerator. Dan was treated to a view of Lester's hairy ass. His musty scent filled Dan's nostrils. Lester's shower was obviously not part of this morning's routine.
"Ew, fuck. Come on, man. Put some clothes on." Dan said.
"Huh?" Lester stood up and turned around, his flaccid cock dangling between his legs. "Did you say something?"
Dan ignored Lester's dick, "You just messed up my interview! Why did you have to get up early and walk around here naked? Come on, man."
"Oh shit," Lester shrugged, "I'm sorry. I thought you'd be at work already."
"Didn't you hear me talking to people out here?" Dan said, not intending to let Lester get off the hook.
"I just assumed you were talking to our girl Sarah. Were you on a video call?"
"Yes!" Dan said. He didn't like Lester calling Sarah 'our' girl. "They both saw you come into the room naked. You ended the interview right there."
"I feel violated." Lester said, "If you had told me you had an interview, I wouldn't have come out until it was over. Why didn't you tell me?"
Dan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Lester had a point, as much as he hated to acknowledge it. Dan hadn't told his roommate. It hadn't even occurred to him. Somehow, he just expected Lester to have figured it out on his own.
"Just...don't do it again, okay? We've talked about the naked thing in the past." Dan returned to the living room and started packing his laptop.
"Where are you going?" Lester followed him, still naked. "We haven't finished talking about how you exposed me to strangers."
Dan looked at Lester flatly. He saw the bemused grin on the fat man's face. "I'm going to work. I told them I'd be late today. Pretty much a huge waste of time now."
Lester watched as Dan gathered up his belongings for work into a bag. He put one foot up on the arm of the couch, his cock dangling openly. "Hey, don't blame me."
"Dan slipped on his coat and put his bag over one shoulder. He turned to face Lester, momentarily stunned once again at his brazen nakedness. He held the door to the apartment open, "Why do you have to be the way you are?"
Lester smiled, "I am who I am. If you remember, I am a mother fucker after all, right?" He chuckled, enjoying his own joke alone.
Dan stared at him coldly before walking into the hallway and letting the door slam shut behind him. He could still hear his laughter as he neared the elevator.
***
Sarah's fingers raced across her keyboard as she pursued her dream of having zero emails in her inbox. She was replying, forwarding and organizing her emails as quickly as she could before heading up to visit Dan in Chicago.
Sitting alone in her office, she had finished most of her work for the day. In her calendar, she had this time marked for cleaning up her inbox. There wasn't anything unusual today: typical approvals of department expenses, correcting an error made by Suzie in the billing department for the tenth time and putting off sales pitches by overly enthusiastic medical device salesmen who couldn't keep their eyes from staring at her chest. She paused on an email from the head of IT titled 'mandatory training' so she could glance up at the time.
It was well past the time of Dan's interview. He should have had time to get to work by now. She pulled her phone out of the breast pocket of her blazer and called her husband.
"Hey baby," his warm voice greeted her. "How are you doing today? I miss you."
"I miss you too, baby. Work is work. It's going quickly. I can't wait to finish up so I can come up and see you. How did your interview go?"
"Ugh," Dan replied. "It was going alright, not the best by any means. They said there were some issues with my resume, but I know for sure there weren't. But it wasn't enough to stop them from interviewing me, so I handled it, but then Lester....god. Lester walked by the camera naked, and it put them off, and they cut the interview early."
"Wait, what?" Sarah asked. "Did Lester walk into your room?"
"No," Dan said, "I should have known better. I did the interview in the living room and he walked by in the background. I wouldn't be surprised if he did it on purpose."
"Neither would I," Sarah said, "Though next time, maybe do it in your room. Or maybe put up a virtual background."
"Lesson learned," Dan said. "I just wish I could do these at home in our house. I can't risk doing them here in the office, so there are limited places I can have them."
Sarah clicked on the next email, "Well, maybe this weekend we can find a table and chair for your room so you can have a better setup to take these calls."
"I like that idea, I just don't know if we should be spending any money right now," Dan said.
"Then we'll figure something out, we'll look on Facebook Marketplace or something," Sarah replied. "Point is, we'll figure it out together."
"Yeah, okay," Dan said.
"We'll get you out of that apartment this weekend and find something to cheer you up," Sarah smiled. She wondered what their weekend together would hold. She missed spending time with her husband. It seemed like every time she went up to Chicago, she had been spending more and more of her time with Lester.
