To His Wife

Dear Amy,

Sitting down to write you is one of the hardest things I will probably do in my life. I know this letter will break your heart. It will confirm what you already suspect. Most importantly, I hope it gives you the chance to start rebuilding your life, your marriage.

I was there when they met...your husband and the woman he's been having an affair with for the past nine months. It was late one evening. He was working on call, seeing a patient in the Intensive Care Unit where she worked. You had paged him to find out why he was late in coming home, and by judging the one sided conversation that I heard, it was a heated discussion and you were mad that he wasn't home earlier. When he hung up, beaten and tired, he looked into the eyes of a woman who was sympathetic. He talked, she listened. He told her of years spent growing further apart from one another. He was busy being a doctor; you were busy being a mom to your two children. Seldom did you make time for one another. Days, even weeks passed before they talked again Amy. Neither of them wanted to jeopardize his marriage, and they kept a strictly professional relationship.

It happened again late one evening. A second phone call, much like the first phone call...the heated words spoken between the two of you. Once again, she was there to pick up the pieces after the call ended. When he asked if she'd like to get a drink after work, she accepted thinking that by listening she might be able to help.

They met at TGIFridays, and over a pitcher of beer and nachos, they shared their lives in words, in memories. You are a beautiful lady Amy. He showed her your picture, told her what a wonderful mom you were. He told her how you had supported him through medical school, his residency and throughout his career, at least up until the last several months. Time, along with stress was taking a toll on your marriage. That night their friendship took a turn. They tried to justify the kiss on the alcohol they had drank, but deep down they knew it was the start of something to come.

That is how it began Amy. The early mornings, the late nights, he was with her. They found a world of peace and contentment with each other. They reveled in the little things in their relationship that couples lose when they develop a comfort level with one another. He'd bring her flowers. She'd call him at the office just to say hello. They thought of each other when they heard love songs on the radio. They took long bubble baths together, and held hands like two teenagers. They enjoyed traveling together also. Medical conferences allowed them the opportunity to get away, and they often joked about not coming home afterwards. Their fantasy life was much better than the reality they had left behind.

He knew you were suspicious when you found touches of makeup on his dress shirts, the hint of her 'Tommy Girl' cologne on him late at night. In the mornings he'd rush out of the house early, and many nights he'd come home after you'd gone to bed. They were all clues to you. She often wondered how long it would be before it would all end.

All good things have to end. She was in love with him Amy. She still is.

She's a smart lady Amy. I'm not trying to rationalize nor justify what she did. But something happened to change the way she saw their relationship.

She saw you. She saw your kids. She saw all of you together as a family. You were downtown shopping on the market early one Saturday morning. He was holding your hand, the same way he held hers. When he looked into your eyes, it was love. When he interacted with your children, it was contentment that she saw. That is when she decided to let him go.

I hope that you can pick up the pieces. Remember the vows of your marriage. This is one of the 'bad times', but you have so many 'good times' to fall back upon. You have such a strong foundation. You have your children. You have each other. Don't give him reason to stray away from you again. Send him flowers; slip him a note on his way to work. Call him to say "hello" instead of being upset with him. Love him the way she did.

She is no longer a threat, real or imagined to you, Amy. She will disappear from your lives and quietly as she appeared...how do I know? I am the other woman...

~Dawn