"Well, darlin', If you've run out of cliches, it's my turn to talk. I'm a car salesman, so I tend to see things through a car salesman's eyes. Love and marriage are kinda like buying a new car. At first it's all shiny and has that new car smell, and you can't wait to drive it around and show all your friends.
"Girlfriends and wives are the same way at first - she's young and pretty and she's all smiley and fresh, and you can't wait to introduce her to all your friends. Just like you make up excuses to drive your new car, you want to spend all your time with your wife. Just like you want to wash your car, you want to fuck your wife three times a day. And it's just the same for her with him. He's the handsome young stud with the bright future.
"But after a while your car gets a couple dings in the doors from careless clowns in parking lots, and the tires wear down a bit, and the windshield wipers get streaky, and kids track mud onto the floor mats and drip chocolate shakes onto the leather seats, and you come to realize it's just an old car.
"Spouses are the same way. Her boobs start to sag, he snores at night and comes home smelling like beer. You've heard all of each other's stories, and the little quirks you used to think were cute are now just annoying.
"So, there comes a time when it's time to trade that car you loved for a shiny new one. And I guess we've reached the time to trade in the old partner and shop for a replacement. Sometimes if the car has been very special, you feel a pang when you leave it on the used car lot, but the excitement of a new car soon erases that. Moving on is natural. So there's that.
"And then, too, there's the fact that I have no interest in staying married to a woman who would fuck a worthless loser like Kenny Payne, there. My God, what a fucking disappointment. I thought I had picked a better model car - um - wife."
He pulled out his phone. "Janie - Ready to take a test drive?"
