It has been a short week since our new "arrangement". To tell you the truth, I don't trust my feelings any more. By now, I have watched "it" happen several times; each session igniting spontaneously (i.e. while sorting groceries), lasting an arbitrary duration - ending in outcome none of us could predict! I have decided to set aside my feelings and do what is best for Mona - my gorgeous Indian wife. I suppose I owe her this much, especially after what I have done! The memories that keep me up all night are those painful moments when I laid my hands on her. How Could I? What was I thinking? It is probably one thing I will regret for the rest of my life. One day when the storm is over, perhaps I will write a story about this whole ordeal to assuage my guilt. I suppose in real life, we never get to be heroes. At least, I am hopeful that she will be happy in the end.
I tried to reconcile my elusive feelings. I failed. I don't understand it. It's like I have these out of body experiences; I watch myself leave my rational mind and watch myself do things from a distance - humiliating and degrading things - that no husband should have to enact. Nevertheless, I find myself losing control, giving into a hideous form of lust that superseded my gradually diminishing self-dignity. When "the act" is finally over and I feel the blood rush back into my brain, I crawl back into a self-loathing state. What have I become?
I have known Mona all too well to doubt her as a person. She has always been a good heart. People may look at this little piece of our lives and think of her as a total bitch and me as a cuckold loser, but they don't know the history we had together - the loving relationship we had forged in three intimate years. They don't know how we helped each other through the most difficult of circumstances. For the most part, we only had each other. Therefore, when she says that she loves me, I believe her! Despite the craziness, she often longs for my attention. I can see it in her eyes. She had been sleeping with me for the last two nights. Her body language is kind and caring.
The problem, however, is that when she is with him I can sense a transition in her gesticulation. If I hadn't known her any better, I would have called it a matter of rubbing it in my face. She cared little to prepare me for a soft landing, making the erotic scenes evermore exulting at my expense. For example, on the third day, she abruptly declared she is going out to the Rockies for a romantic getaway in a cabin with Anil for a couple of nights. She didn't bother asking me for permission; she just told me what was happening on short notice. I watched them pack and leave! I could only fathom the blissful shrieks they made in the dark of the woods, while I lay in my bed cold, anxious and horny!
To add insult to my injuries, she declared that our mutual friend Karen is planning to go out with Anil. Apparently that is part of her "grand plan"! It seems obscure why I should be the only one kept in the dark about this plan. Mona, the mastermind who conjured this plan to life, has convinced Anil to extend his stay, for how long she won't say because I was not included in the circle of schemers that plan shits. Frankly, I don't get it. I find it very unsettling. Karen and I had a little bit of a history together (not an affair) unbeknownst to Mona. I never told her, but I knew she always suspected that I have some unresolved feelings for her friend. Is Mona trying to exact her revenge on me? Hasn't she done enough?
I woke up late in the guest bed face-down. Mona was not there. I freshened up quickly and walked to the kitchen. There, by the counter, stands the beautiful curvy body that is my wife - making breakfast! I thanked her in my mind. Right now, an ordinary uneventful day seems real good! She was wearing a light gray pair of yoga pants and a faded pink elastic top. The curves of her massive boobs were visible from my vantage point; I felt the tingle watching her sway from behind. Every Saturday morning, my wife meditates and practices yoga. It's her thing. She looked very pretty in that tight apparel - her hair straight and silky. Her fanny looked seductively curvalicious, inviting me in. As I moved closer to her, she turned around and simpered tenderly. I inquired where Anil was. She was smart enough to sense my despondent vibe and assured me not to worry. Apparently, he was still sleeping; nothing really happened!
I was flattered that she finally decided to have a normal day with me. We sat down at the breakfast nook stealing happy glances at each other. Mona looked simply awesome - irradiating a glow of fulfilment. Watching her in yoga clothes was a little bit arousing; her curviness is best served in tight clothes. She wasn't wearing a bra and her nipples slightly eluded the fabric of the sexy sportswear. For a moment, I felt that it was like our typical Saturdays. Other than a few diminishing love bruises on her voluptuous breasts, she managed to wash away the signs of her amorous escapades.
As we both sat there with our breakfasts, she reminded me that her friend Karen is coming around 2:00pm to take Anil out. Karen, a close friend of ours, is a super-hot redhead. She had the right mix of cruelty and passion in her personality that made her highly desirable. She is the perfect Yin to Mona's Yang nature. At one point in our lives, Mona warned me about her. She told me that Karen had the hots for me, and before I get frisky with the idea I should know that if I ever dared to indulge, she would cut my balls and feed it to stray dogs. I guess she didn't know about our history after all, or did she? I felt a stab in my chest - an icy cold spasm of dismay! As jealousy spread through my veins, I wondered - Why Karen? Mona has so many female friends whom she could have chosen to hook up with her boyfriend - Anil - to help him "move on". Why in the rotten hell did she have to pick Karen? And why did Karen agree to this ridiculous proposition? Have they all lost their minds? Or are they testing my breaking point?
"How are you feeling darling?" I faked a loving voice, setting aside my inner turmoil.
"Really good sweetheart... I meditated a little bit in the morning; Feel like I can take on the world now!"
I couldn't help but notice that Mona's face darkened. So I inquired "What is it baby?"
"Nothing..." she said toying with her food to avoid eye contact with me.
I guess all good moments last briefly. In our case, we got interrupted as Anil apparated abruptly out of the master bedroom. He approached Mona from behind gave her a little kiss on the neck and roughly squeezed her boob while pinching her nipple. I found this sudden gesture kind of grotesque!
Mona shoved him away furiously and yelled, "Hey!... Didn't you have enough? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not see that I'm here with my husband! Pay some respect you jerk!"
"Aren't we past that already?" Anil shrugged.
"You're such an asshole." Mona screeched pounding her fist on the table.
She got up and stormed away into the living room, abandoning her meal. What the hell is going on? I went to the living room and plopped beside her. She got up and sat on my lap and cuddled with me. The warmth of her body felt soothing.
"Hey! Heyyy... Are you okay? What's wrong?" I inquired while trying to comfort her by running my hand across her back.
"Please Vijay... He can be such an ass sometimes!" She yelled so that it could be heard in the other room.
