Thoughts Ch 05

You may want to read the previous chapters before reading this the final chapter. Thank you to Estragon for taking his time to edit this story and making it a much better read.

I might add that everyone's life is different. We all have a tendency to judge others, especially if their life doesn't agree with our thinking. Thank you to all that have commented. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

DG Hear

Chapter 5: The Conclusion

Life for me for the past year has been quite different. I've been with a number of women but I often think about my first love, Carol. We just weren't able to work it out. I know I was the cause of our problems in the beginning, but I'm not sure what happened after forty-two years of marriage.

She must have grown tired of me but I still had feeling for her. I guess the divorce was probably for the best. I still saw my kids and grandkids regularly. I found companionship, which I really needed. I was told that Carol had said her life was a lot less stressful.

I have an annual appointment at the doctors' because of high-blood pressure and I'm diabetic so he wants to see me at least once a year. Carol and I used to go together but I called and got an appointment for a different day. I didn't want her to be there when I was there.

I asked the doc if he had seen Carol and he said he had and she was doing great. She seemed less stressed and her blood pressure was a lot better. He was sorry that we divorced after so many years but it happens.

He asked me how I was doing and I told him I thought I was doing pretty good. I did tell him that my stomach bothered me an awful lot. I seemed to be bound up a lot and I was using a lot of laxatives and my stool (shit) was almost black.

He wasn't happy about that at all and set me up for a colonoscopy and an endoscope for two days later. He told me they would be running a camera tube down my throat and later one up my rectum to check out my colon and intestines.

I had to take someone with me to drive home afterward, so I asked my buddy Tom. I told him I didn't want anyone to know, especially Carol. I mentioned to him not to even tell his wife; I knew it would get back to Carol.

He promised me he wouldn't tell anyone and I had the tests done. Afterwards we went out for a light lunch. About all I could handle was soup. The doc did say they took a couple of polyp samples and would be testing them. He wouldn't tell me any more but said he would call me in a couple of days.

I got the call two days later and the doctor told me to come in to his office the next day. He needed to talk to me and didn't want to do it on the phone. I knew it wasn't good. They always gave me the good news right away.

When I went in I told the doctor not to pull any punches. I wanted to know what was going on.

"Bob, your body is riddled with cancer. We tested six polyps and they all tested positive. We don't have a lot of options here. None are all that much in your favor. I want to take a x-ray and a MRI to see if we are dealing with even more."

They ran the tests and said it was even worse than he had first thought. He said we could do chemo and radiation and see if we can get rid of some of it. I'd still have to go through a lot of surgery later.

"Doc, my brother-in-law died of pancreatic cancer three years ago. He went to a special clinic and tried everything but his chances at best was twenty-five percent. Is this pretty much what I have?"

"Yes Bob it is. But it's also in your intestines and colon. As a doctor I feel we have to try and remove as much as we can."

"No Doc, I don't think so. I've had a good life and I'm pretty much alone now. I'm not putting my family through any of this. How long do I have?"

"Maybe four months at best. I can give you pain pills that will help but near the end you'll have to be hospitalized, probably for a maximum of a couple of weeks. The pain will be too great for you to handle on your own."

"What about my life till that day, Doc? Will I be able to live normal?"

"You can live your life just the way you have been till the pain overtakes you. You do need to tell someone that can help you when that time comes. I want to see you every month. You won't be able to drive with the pain medication I'm prescribing for you. I might add that the more physical you are the quicker the cancer may spread. Just try and take it easy."

I thanked the doc and told him that I didn't want my ex-wife to know anything. I signed a directive that they weren't to tell anyone about my condition. I had a friend that I hoped would help me out. I called Tom over and we talked for a couple of hours. I told him everything and that I wasn't going to try and take chemo or be cut open. I just needed a friend to help me in the end.

Tom cried and we hugged. "I'll be there for you Buddy. Whatever you need."

"Tom, I'm going to get my estate in order and I want you to be my executor. I'll be leaving everything to Carol and the kids but I want you to make sure it goes well. I want the house sold and you can talk with Carol about everything else. I figure an auction would be good. Give my truck to my son Kyle."

"I'll do whatever you ask, Bob. I sure wish there was another way."

"Hey, I'm not dead yet. The doc said I can live a normal life till the last couple of weeks. Do you think Linda will let you go on a vacation with me for about a week? I want to go see a few of my out of state relatives for the last time but I'm not going to tell them that."

"I don't care what Linda says, we're best friends and I'll be going with you."

Tom and I did go for a week to two different states and I visited my sister and some of my cousins. It was almost funny when everyone said how good I looked; I had lost some weight. I knew it was the last time I would see them and that did hurt.

After arriving back home Tom came over and said he got a call from Carol. She wanted to know why I went to Michigan and Kentucky.

"I told her you decided to go visit some relatives, what the hell was wrong with that. She said that when your dad was dying that you took him to see his relatives. She wanted to know if you were having any problems. She said she called your doctor and the nurse said since you weren't married she couldn't give out any information."

"Tom, I don't want them to know anything. What good would that do? They'll be finding out soon enough. I'll call her and tell her something."

I did call her and told her she was no longer my wife by her choice and what I do and where I go is none of her concern. I didn't want to be mean but it was in her best interest. She did say she would leave me alone.

This all happened before the holidays and I did tell her I would be at Kelly's for Thanksgiving. I showed up and acted as normal as possible. On the outside I looked good but inside I knew I was a mess.

I talked to the kids and even played a couple of games with the grandkids. I did notice Carol staring at me quite often. After dinner I told them I had to run but would see them all for Christmas.

I kissed my kids goodnight and headed home. I was doing my best to put my affairs in order. I had redone my will and had everything pretty much ready.

I even went to the funeral home and prepaid for the funeral, casket and grave. I know it might seem morbid but it wasn't so bad. I was surprised when the funeral director told me a lot of people bought their burial plans in advance.

After Thanksgiving, I had my next to last sexual encounter, which I want to tell you about. I had one more after Christmas but that one I will take to the grave.

It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving that there was a knock at my door at about nine in the evening. I couldn't believe who was at my door. It was Marie, Cindy's daughter. I heard she was flying in from Florida to see her mother and brother.

She was one gorgeous woman, I'm talking model looks here. She was dressed in a tight dress that showed a lot of cleavage and better then halfway up her thigh.

"Marie! What in God's name are you doing here? My God how beautiful you look, come on in."

"Hi Mr. Beal, I hope I'm not intruding."

"No, come in. Where's your mother? Is she with you?"

"No, she went out tonight with her friend Don. She won't be home till tomorrow morning. I was out with a lot of my old classmates and just got back. My kids are staying with my brother tonight. I know you're wondering why I'm here. It's because of my mother."

Needless to say, I figured she wanted me to stop seeing her mother. Before I had a chance to say anything about her mother being an adult and should be able to live her own life she continued talking.

"Mr. Beal, my mother and I talk a lot and she tells me a lot of things that she doesn't tell anyone else. She told me that she had sex with you and it was absolutely the best sex she had in her entire life. You did things to her that no other man has ever done. It was like at another level."

"Marie, what your mother and I did is only between us."

"No, you don't understand. I want to be made love to the way you did to my mom. I want to feel that once in a lifetime feeling she told me about. Mr. Beal, I want to have sex with you. I don't want you to hold back, I want to feel the way my mother did."

I wasn't sure what to say or do. Marie was married with two kids and in her mid thirties. Her body and looks exuded sex.

"Bob, this will be only a one time thing. I'll be flying back to Florida tomorrow. Believe me, I gave this a lot of thought. I promise not to tell anyone, it will be our secret. I don't even want my mom to know. I've been with a lot of men while in college and I've never felt the way my mom says she felt.

"I love my husband, I really do, and our sex life is good, but I've never been over the top. I want to feel that, the way my mother says you make her feel. Will you do that for me?"

"Marie, I can make love to your body and do everything I know sexually but I can't promise how it will feel for you. Your hopes are sitting pretty high. I just hope you don't get disappointed."

"I'm willing to take that chance. Mom has never told me about any other men that made her feel the way you do."

I could tell she had been drinking and wondered if that helped influence her decision. I took her by the hand and we went to my bedroom. I promised her I'd do my best; she just had to go along with whatever I asked. I let her know that I would not do anything to harm her in any way.

She agreed to go along with me. She went to undo her dress and I told her I would do that for her. Anticipation was a big part of sexual foreplay. She turned and I unzipped her dress and she let it fall. I picked it up and actually hung it up while she waited.

She still had on a bra and pantyhose covering a tiny pair of bikini panties. I undid her bra and pulled it off her shoulders. She had damn near perfect tits. I did my best not to touch them, at least not yet. I walked to the kitchen and got her a wine cooler. She looked a bit surprised. I handed her a pill and asked her to take it.

It was similar to ecstasy but not near as strong. She would know everything she was doing. She took the pill. I had taken a Viagra while I was in the kitchen. I wasn't about to tell her that.

As she stood facing me I pulled down her pantyhose and her panties came off with them. There she stood in all her glory. Her mound was shaven clean. It was actually the first woman I had ever seen shaved completely. At least not in films.

She was so beautiful. I threw an extra sheet on the bed and had her lay on my bed face down. I quickly changed into my bathing suit. I took out some massage oil and began by massaging her shoulders. I knew her mom loved that. She was so soft and yet her body was hard. Looking at her little bubble butt really was getting to me. I worked rather quickly and worked my way down her back and to her butt.

I rubbed and squeezed her beautiful, little, bubble ass and moved down to her legs. After massaging her legs I had her turn over. I began with her breasts. She was very turned on. I spent some time on her tits and worked my way down her belly and finally rubbed her hairless mound.

She wasn't talking but was making a lot of different noises. I could tell she was loving it. About that time I lifted her legs and put a pillow under her ass. I got between her legs and did my best eating and tonguing her pussy.

This went on for about fifteen minutes until she was actually sweating and her pussy smelled like she was about ready to come. That's when I stopped.

"Bob, please keep going, surely you can't be done. It was feeling so good."

"Just come with me little lady." We went out to the hot tub.

I got in and took her hand and helped her in. We sat down and I turned on the jets. She said how wonderful it felt. After about ten minutes I stood up and had her sit on the ledge, just like I had done with her mother. I began by kissing and tonguing her pussy.

She got hot so quickly and I stood up and put two fingers in her and started pumping as fast as I could. I used my thumb to rub her clit. She was really turned on just like her mother and other women whom I did the same thing with. She was making all kind of noise and then it happened.

"Oh shit! Bob, you have to stop, I have to pee." She looked very worried.

"Just let it go baby. Squirt it all out, you can't hurt the hot tub."

She did just that. Screaming and yelling how good it felt to just let it all go. She pissed a long stream and then another short one. I never stopped pumping my fingers in her.

"Mother fuck! God Damn! Oh shit! I've never come like that before."

"It's not over yet Honey." I took her off the ledge and sat down and put her on my lap facing me. We fucked among the bubbles for a good fifteen minutes. Then I felt her coming again.

"Fuck me! Fuck me! Oh so good, never ever felt so good." She screamed out and I came with a solid blast deep in her pussy. I sat there with my cock buried deep in her.

When her pussy finally stopped having spasms I stood her up and my cock came out of her. She could hardly stand.

"Bob, I've never had sex like that ever. I'm so tired I can hardly walk."

I picked her up and carried her to my bed. She was asleep within minutes. I stared at her beautiful body. I even sucked on her tits and began to finger fuck her. Even though she was sleeping she pushed against my fingers.

I knew I couldn't come again so soon and pulled my fingers out of her and covered her up and lay next to her.

I woke up the next morning feeling someone sucking my cock. Marie was giving me a blowjob. She had her little hand wrapped around my cock and was taking about three inches and sucking me royally. She stopped for a moment and told me it was for the wonderful sex I gave her the night before.

I told her I was about to come but it didn't stop her. She took my load into her mouth. I saw some of my cum on her lips. I told her it was my turn. I quickly put her on her back and put a pillow under her ass.

I reached in my nightstand and took out my miniature vibrator. I got between her legs and put the vibrator against her clit. She was loving it. Eventually I began tongue fucking her. I then took my vibrator and place it at her pink asshole and turned it on.

"Bob, I don't like anal."

"I'm just using the vibrator. I'm sure you'll like it." I went back down on her with about three inches of the vibrator up her ass.

It wasn't long before she came and shot a load of her juices in my face. I loved it. She asked if she could take a quick shower before going home. Of course I said it was fine. While she was showering I went ahead and got dressed.

When she came out of the bathroom she put her bra and dress back on but not her hose or panties, they went in her purse. She hugged me and said it was even better then she had anticipated. I turned her around, lifted her dress and grabbed her bald pussy one more time letting two fingers sink in. I pulled them out and smelled them. She told me I was a dirty old man but she loved it.

"Bob, as I mentioned this was a one time thing. I really do love my husband. I'm glad I don't live here because I don't know if I could resist coming back."

"Marie, buy some movies and watch them with your husband. Break him in slowly, I'm sure when he sees how much you like it he will be there for you."

I saw Cindy two days later and she said that she needed to tell me something. She told me she had told Marie about me and her when she drove her to the airport. She hoped I wasn't mad at her for telling her daughter.

I told her we were both unmarried people and could do what we liked. It didn't sound like Marie said anything to her mother but Cindy did say that Marie smiled when she told her how I made her feel. She even said Marie is going to try some of those ideas with her husband.

Cindy told me she would be going to Florida for three weeks during the holidays and wouldn't be back until after New Year's. She told me she would miss me and wanted to know if I wanted a quickie.

I told her that my stomach had been bothering me and I wasn't feeling that good, : it was the truth, and that I would be seeing the doctor about it. Cindy and I never were together again.

****

I haven't been feeling as good lately and was taking quite a few pain pills. I haven't even had sex with anyone but Marie that one time. For some reason the sex took a lot out of me. The doctor did tell me I should take it easy and not do anything overly physical.

Tom would come by every couple of days and we went over old times. I even told him about this story I was writing and that if I didn't get it finished I asked him to finish it for me. He told me he wasn't a writer but would do his best.

He would only have to tell what happened after my death, that shouldn't be too hard. He mentioned he was having a hard time keeping it to himself and asked if he could at least tell his wife Linda. She was wondering why he was always coming over and taking me places.

I told him that he could tell Linda if she promised not to tell anyone else, especially Carol. There was nothing to be gained for anyone to know anything early.

I went to my daughter Kim's for Christmas dinner. Carol told me it looked like I lost a lot of weight. I told her I was eating less and was trying to lose a few pounds. "You always told me I was too heavy," I replied.

She didn't answer the barb. Deep down I knew she was aware of something. Dinner was good and I did over indulge. I knew I would be paying for it later but I wanted to put on a good front for my family. They were all there.

I gave each one a gift card for two hundred dollars from their favorite store as a Christmas gift. The older kids each got their own. The two youngest, who were under five, I added to their parents' gift card but I did get each a stuffed animal so they had something to open up.

I even got a gift card for Dawn; it surprised her. The one I got for Carol was for five hundred dollars. She didn't know what to say. I told her she and Dawn could get some new clothes for when they travel. I shouldn't have thrown in that dig but I couldn't help it.

I let everyone know at Thanksgiving that I didn't want or need anything for Christmas. I was happy that the grandkids drew and colored pictures for me. My two oldest grandkids gave me their latest school picture in a frame. My daughters and son each gave me a picture of their family together.

It was actually the last time I saw my family. Everyone has so much running around to do during the holidays. I stayed home and watched the TV and used the hot tub. It was so relaxing.

Tom told me he would be going to Indiana for a couple of days to see his daughter from his first marriage. If I should need anything I should let Linda know. She was the only person that knew my condition and I hadn't talked to her.