Thought For The Day

No sex with anyone under 18, as if they ever do that.

It's just a story.

Thought for the Day.

Thought For the Day has been a short, under three minutes, slot on the BBC's Radio 4 morning programme for longer than I can remember, I suppose you could call it a religious programme, but it can be a lot of things, it's given by many different religious people, it's given by non-religious people, it's just one persons view on something that has some meaning to them and others, it's odd but yet very... Thoughtful, I haven't listened to it for years, but I sit here thinking, thinking that maybe I should have my turn at giving it, I have views of so many things that others would agree with me on, and I suspect that others wouldn't.

I'm not going into all the things that happened before, not how we met, not how we courted, it's enough to tell you that we met, dated, went to bed together, not to sleep those first few times.

We went out, stayed in, had friends over and went to theirs, we did everything together.

The only thing that we didn't do was get married, I asked, I asked regularly, it had become a running joke between everyone who knew us well, that I asked twice a year, they didn't know that I asked every week, but that was between Linda and I.

I always received the same answer, the same response.

"I will, but not just yet, ask me again later," And then she would kiss me like it was the best thing in the world, which it was to me.

I never got a sensible reason why she wouldn't just say yes, we were doing everything as if we were married, I tried the 'You don't have to change your name' as a joke, but she was known as Mrs Smith in a lot of places already, so that wasn't it, I gave up trying to understand her reasoning.

We had reasonable jobs, we rented a flat in a nice area and were saving for the deposit for a house, we didn't go on holidays, we stayed home and did days out, saved a lot of money by doing that, we only had the one car, a fifth hand low mileage estate car.

Things were going on fine with the savings, things between us were nothing unusual, some of our friends were more at loggerheads with each other than we were, we never went to bed on an argument, we talked about it and sorted it out, and on a lot of occasions we ended up screwing each other's brains out before going to sleep.

Life was great.

Three years bleed into four which was then five before I knew it, our savings were just getting to the point of being the deposit for our first house, we were starting to look in the windows of estate agents in town whilst shopping, we went in and put our name down as first time buyers.

That brought large amounts of post, I don't know if things have changed, but as first time buyers with a limited amount of money, we had to tell the agents this, why do they send you reams of paper that were of five bedroom houses, that were at least twice the amount that you could afford, maybe they were going on the premise that they knew I was going to win the lottery or come into a lot of cash from somewhere, whatever it was, I didn't win the lottery, I didn't do it, and as far as I knew nobody was going to give or leave me lots of money, and I wasn't going to rob a bank.

Then things changed, we needed to get this house thing sorted.

Linda was pregnant.

I laugh when people ask how it happened, come on people, Linda and I were banging each other as often as we could, most nights, and at weekends during the day.

Linda was on the pill, for some reason it failed, it happens we were told.

It didn't slow down the lovemaking, it increased our need for each other more if anything, but the house hunting wasn't going so well, we missed several, we didn't have the money to up our bid, some, when we went inside and looked at them, some were more work than we could cope with, some were just not right, not in the right location, whatever it was we were still in the flat as her seventh month passed.

Then we had a stroke of luck, a friend of a friend of a friend was selling just the house we wanted, we went and looked at it, we put an offer in, it was accepted, then the paperwork began, solicitors were engaged and the process started.

In England the process is long and can be filled with heartache and pain, nothing goes quickly, the solicitors seem to only look at your paperwork once a week, it drags on and on and on.

Linda was the bright pregnant woman with a big belly, her boobs were getting bigger and bigger, but I wasn't complaining, Linda did, but I made the most of them, I'm a man, and breasts are important for most of us, in ways that women can't understand, and we, men can't explain either.

It was summer, a hot one for a change, Linda was finding it hard, we, the block of flats we lived in were having a get together outside on the grass area, someone had a BBQ set up, we took our stuff and joined in, most were there, most were friends, it was all going great.

Linda was the centre of the women, all baby talk, I was with the men, talking crap that only got crappier as the drinks went down.

I noticed this as I wasn't drinking much, I was on call for work, not that I had ever been called out in the years that I was being paid for it.

I was the Key holder in case of a break in, who in their right mind breaks into the local dump, it's the one that handles all the household crap, there's no metal, no electronics, it's just crap, tons and tons of crap, it was a good deal as far as I was concerned, paid to do nothing, my job in the office during the week was bad enough, but being paid for holding a key chain... who was going to say no thanks.

I'd held onto Linda's hand as she got up, just popping back to use the loo she said, I watched as she slowly made her way back to our flat.

Someone offered me a few nibbles, but as I turned back to my seat nibbles in hand, I just happened to see Billy, Billy from over the road stepping into my front door.

Now Billy isn't a best friend, he's a friend from over the road if you get my drift, he must be two, three years younger than me, he was mainly single, which means that he has people, all women, stay with him, at a guess they seem to last about... four to six months on average, some of those women have been beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, some of them were definitely not beautiful in any way that I could see, but I wasn't privileged to see them in bed was I, from what Billy bragged about, every one of them was ready to fuck and suck every night and whenever he wanted them to, I'll take a lot of that with a pinch of salt, but he can't be that bad in the sack if he's never short of a woman in bed for more than a week.

But back to now, Billy going into my place, Linda being in there already and I couldn't think about that could I?

I walked nonchalantly over to my front door, which was still only half closed, I stepped inside and listened, I heard voices that I could barely hear, I moved closer to the kitchen where the voices were coming from.

At the end of the hallway, we had a long mirror, Linda used it before going out, you could see the full length of yourself in it, but if you were on the side, close to the wall, like I was you could look into the mirror and see into the kitchen, I saw Linda backed up to the sink, Billy was in front of her and just to the side, if Linda was that keen to get away from him she would have no trouble, but she hadn't or didn't move away, Billy was caressing Linda's bump with one hand, his other was under her top, I saw his hand playing with it, if he was like me it was her nipple that he was playing with.

That was confirmed when she held his hand still, "Be gentle with it," but she let his hand go again and this time Billy pushed her top up and her bra went with it, he leaned in and sucked first one then the other nipple as his hand went up her skirt.

I backed out and went outside, I wasn't sure what I was doing, I didn't want to hurt Linda, well not badly, she was pregnant after all, I wasn't thinking, I just did it, I picked up the little dustbin by the door, we put our waste vegetable peelings in it, it kept the flat free from smells, well that was the idea, it went to my allotment but I had left it a bit long if I'm honest, it was full.

I wasn't trying to be silent, but either they were too occupied or I was quiet, they hadn't noticed me before the contents of the bin hit them, it was all over them, Linda still had her tits out but Billy was still dressed, I put the empty bin over Billy's head and kicked his knee, he stumbled as Linda was screaming blue murder.

I walked out and retook my seat, well it was Linda's, but she wasn't coming back for a while I was thinking, Billy came out limping muck all over his clothes and head, Linda was still screaming, people had started to look at me and then at Billy and back again, one, then several of the women went to see to Linda, one of them ran back to me.

"Andy, you have to come and see her, I think the baby's on its way,"

"Just call an ambulance, they'll sort her out," I said.

The bitch slapped me, hard.

We had this conversation, no we shouted at each other, she called the ambulance and I called Linda's mum, I told her she should get to the hospital ASAP, and hung up.

I had to go and find a bottle of beer, the one that I had been drinking was empty I found, I watched as people, mainly women run into my place, I went and had a hamburger, nobody was eating it appeared, I washed it down with another beer, the ambulance came, it went off not long after as well, I wasn't looking, but someone said that Linda was taken away, good I was thinking.

It was dark when someone was speaking to me, well the next time I was conscious of anything.

"Linda's in labour, you need to get down there to see the birth,"

I wasn't feeling anything, I didn't think it was the beer, but somewhere in my brain it made sense, I needed to make sure that it was mine.

Later I was grateful that they, my neighbours wouldn't let me drive, one of them took me to the hospital after I was made to drink several coffees.

Linda's mum was shocked that I refused to go in and hold her hand, I'll be honest that before today it wasn't the best thing to look forward to, but after today I wasn't going to be there, it might not be mine, the nursing staff looked at me in an unfriendly way as I sat waiting, and when I was told that I had a little daughter I think I killed the good mood asking how I got it tested, to see if it's, I used that phrase, 'it's' loudly, and I told anybody and everyone who was interested or listening, that I wasn't going to be called the father until it was proven that I was.

I was asked to leave if I couldn't be civil, I chose to go home.

I was expecting it, but her language wasn't what I was expecting.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I'd never heard Linda's mum swear before, it was quickly followed up with.

"What happened in here, what's all this... this mess?"

I told her, everything, as it happened in my mind, up until now.

The baby was early, and as it was from shock that it had been born it was going to be kept in for a least a week I was informed by Mum the following morning, that Linda would be home tomorrow if all was well with her.

I did express my feelings that it would be better if Linda went back to her mums, but my thoughts and ideas were ignored.

It was three days later that I came home to Linda and her mother in the flat. Linda wanted to say how sorry she was, she wanted to hug me, her mum was trying to keep in between us, be the referee.

I'd calmed down a lot but her consistent saying sorry was driving me mad and I had to shout at her at one point, just to make her stop.

I slept on the sofa that night and the next, my mind was going from I wanted to kill her to... oh yes, I wanted to kill her slowly.

I woke up to Linda sitting in a chair watching me, that was more than a bit scary.

Linda went to the hospital every day, I didn't know how much time she spent there, I didn't.

It was a fortnight before I came home to Linda's mum and a baby there, Linda and I had hardly said a word to each other.

She talked at me, I pretended to be deaf or walked away, I was still waiting for the results of the DNA test, I couldn't afford to fast track it, and it wasn't like it was on the telly, instant.

Mum stood in the doorway stopping me from walking away.

Linda picked the baby up showing me, mum put a sheet of paper on the table in front of me, it was the test results, I was the father, not that I really thought differently, not back in the depths of my mind.

Mum stayed, I slept on the sofa every night up until then.

"I'll need the sofa for a few nights, I'll be staying until everything is settled, a baby is going to be a big change in here,"

I didn't have much choice, I didn't have anywhere else to go, I had to share a bed with Linda again.

"We could have sex, but I'm not allowed to for at least the next month," Linda said as I was trying to stay as far away from her that night.

"And mums here, I wouldn't feel right, her maybe hearing us," Oh great, just what I wanted to hear, because I was feeling horny, Linda's tits had filled with milk and were enormous from what little I saw of them, enormous.

Mum went home after two nights, I'm not sure that Linda was aware of it but I watched as she breastfed the baby, we still hadn't named it yet, but we had to soon, it was a legal issue if we didn't.

Her breastfeeding in front of me wasn't helping me in any way.

She caught me watching and had this smile at me as she swapped nipples, the baby was latched on to the new one and Linda just said she might as well leave them uncovered as she would have to swap back again.

Linda burped and winded the baby, changed the nappy and put her down for the next three hours if we were lucky.

I'm Mr. Smooth.

"This no sex thing, it happens every time?" Linda nodded, a sad smile on her face.

"I'm sorry," I stopped her again.

"I don't want to hear it, no more, it's happened, I don't want to hear it,"

I don't know where it came from, but it just popped into my head.

"In the words of Bill Clinton, it's not sex, get over here, suck me off, show me how sorry you are,"

The look on her face was priceless, there were a lot of but's, lots of I don't feel sexy, and I don't want to, but I gave her a choice, suck it and show me how sorry she was, or pack up in the morning and go home to mummy.

I know I'm an absolutely horrible human, but she did, oh we'd been doing oral on each other nearly as long as we had known each other.

But it had been a while since Linda played the cum flute for me, I didn't last long and filled her mouth with my juice. "Swallow it, it's good protein for baby," I said as I held her head still.

I'm a shit and I know it, but I needed that, Linda sat there not saying anything, I don't think we looked at each other the rest of the night.

We were back to sleeping together, but no sex yet, I didn't try and Linda didn't offer to do anything again, I went to work each morning and left them to sort out their day, two days maybe three, Linda was doing the breastfeeding thing and again left her top off as she swapped nipples with Kate, her grandmother's name, I didn't care, it was nice enough.

But watching that and the way Linda was making a thing about her tits being out got me horny, she did the burping thing, nappy change and came back down only in her skirt.

"Stand up," she told me, I stood and watched as she knelt and undid my jeans, pulled them down and played with me, I was half hard having watched her feeding, it wasn't instant, but it didn't take long, and Linda then showed me that she hadn't forgotten how to play the cum flute, she, like old times took her time bringing me close and backing it off, getting me close and backing off, and then she took me over the edge and I spilt my load in her mouth.

I was wiped out, it hadn't felt that good in I don't know how long, but her next sentence made me look at her in a new light.

"I've never done that for anyone before, I don't know why I let Billy do what he did, it was only like you saw, never gave him anything more than a feel. Now, Kate didn't want a lot tonight, I'm hurting, will you... oh fuck, will you suck me and drain my tits they hurt,"

What do you think I did? I played with those big tits, I never knew that the milk was like little, fine pin-prick streams, it could and that night did go everywhere, I wasn't impressed with the taste, but I survived and went back on several nights.

And so it went back to how it was before, nearly, Linda went to the gym, which was new, but it got her body back into shape, she had bigger tits that I loved, I think I was the reason for her producing milk for as long as she did, not Kate, I couldn't stop playing with and milking her tits, Linda never said no, let it happen whenever I wanted to.

We have two kids that are just starting their exams, Linda and I have had other things to disagree on, but it's never been as bad as that day in our flat, do I trust her not to do something stupid again?

Not 100%, 99% maybe, but I have to say that Linda always makes sure that I know where and what she's up to, I have to admit that on some days, only a few, but on some days I do check up on her.

I'm sure she knows it and understands why I do it, and it's as if she can sense that I'm not 100% happy on days like that, she has the knack of taking me to bed and making sure that I don't let things get out of hand again, she loves me in any way I want her, since that day of making her suck me off, she has done anything I want, in the bedroom that is, she is as submissive or as willing a partner that a man can want, I'm sure that I could beat her and she would let me, I don't and haven't, but we've played tie and tease at times, toys are a strong point of our relationship, and she always wants me to suck her nipples as she self pleasures herself.