What is Marriage? She didn't know. What she did know was what her marriage was taking away from her. Time. And a life too.
Anushka Banerjee was married when she was 27. Just when she'd realized life was too short to be little and wanted to fly and explore the sky of her desires the jolt of an arranged marriage happened. It came at a time when she had started to like a guy in her office. His name was Sourav. When she thought she was ready to date him, her mother told her some people were coming to see her. See her? A post graduate from Calcutta University in Economics, working in a MNC and people will come to see her! Like that! But they did and she had to come in front of them pretending that it still were archaic times where women were born only to initiate a family and maintain it till she was alive. Her then prospective groom, Bikash Mukherjee, didn't even look up at her eye to eye and yet he was ready to get married to her. He did say a servile yes. The three months that followed went by like a hurricane by the end of it Anushka became Mrs. Anushka Mukherjee. They moved to Pune from Calcutta.
Bikash's family didn't want their daughter-in-law to work anywhere. One for vanity and two they thought Bikash was already earning enough. And this was another problem for Anushka. Bikash never did or said anything that he wanted. He was always the mediator. It was always "Dad doesn't want you to work anymore" or "Mom doesn't like you wearing jeans or any western outfits." She did try to talk to him stating it was their life now and all that mattered to her was 'his' wish even if he wanted to keep her at home forever she would do it but she pleaded to make it his wish. That never happened. One year went by with Anushka doing the same things 365 times over. In between she visited Calcutta twice but for some undecipherable reason she found both her home and in-laws place all the more stifling. Living in the posh colony in Pune at least she was all by herself in the day and in a way perhaps got used to the loneliness which, to her horror, was becoming comforting with each passing day.
On their first marriage anniversary Anushka somehow coaxed Bikash for having dinner at a nice restaurant and then go for a late night movie. It was first of its kind opportunity for Anushka. She felt happy and thought perhaps with time Bikash would change for her. The food was good which relieved Anushka since she had selected the restaurant herself while surfing the internet. Her in-laws of course were told over the phone that they were home. A marriage anniversary wasn't too big a deal for her in-laws to allow their only son to celebrate it. While moving out of the multiplex after watching the movie Anushka clasped the hands of Bikash. She knew he never really appreciated any 'touch' in the public but she was sure he would not say no this time. She was right. Clasping each other's hand as they passed by some guys one of them quipped, "Sexy ass!" It was obvious they were hinting at Anushka's ass. She was wearing a sari, had her hair loose and was wearing some junk jewelry around her neck and wrist which made her look strikingly beautiful. Anushka heard it right and she thought Bikash would retaliate but instead he suddenly let go of her hand. She for once glanced back at the guys who were still looking at her and chuckling probably cracking a dirty joke amongst themselves.
In the car too Bikash didn't talk much apart from the fact that he was feeling heavy and would like to have some antacid before sleeping. But in the silence of the night, lying beside Bikash in her bedroom, Anushka kept thinking. She was sure Bikash had heard the comment. 'Sexy ass'. How did he feel? Someone noticing his wife's ass in his presence and then daring to call it sexy. There have been men eying her many times before too but this was the first time she heard someone popping out a piece of his mind verbally.
The incident triggered a sexual epiphany of sorts for Anushka in her mind. She went back to her desires during college where she and her friends would secretly watch porn films and rate the guy's dick and body and would tell each other what and how they would like to do with their respective husbands. Anushka's thoughts were always on the wilder side. She told them she wanted to be naked with her husband and moan wildly as he fucked her. There was a time for emotional, sensuous love making and there was a time for a relentless animal fuck and a sexually healthy couple should know which should be done when to keep their sex life rocking. But she was yet to get naked in front of Bikash. As in their honeymoon, so happened in the twice a month intimacy that they had. Lifting of the night gown, pulling down of the panties, kiss, smooch while he pumped her and came. That's all. No foreplay. No change of position. She tried to give subtle hints to Bikash that she was okay with experimentation on bed but those subtle hints were either too subtle for him, she concluded, or Bikash simply was not interested. Everyone's mind is not sexy. At least Bikash's was not. Unfortunately hers was. She started using the mind more and more during her loneliness. All sorts of dirty to divine sexual imagery came alive in front of her. When she went to the vegetable market she thought how it would be if she walked stark naked there. How would the men react? Would they simply pounce on her or will stand their ground masturbating furiously. She felt wet. At home she stripped herself naked in front of a full length mirror and admired herself. A well sculpted piece of meat. Fair, spotless and creamy skin. As she walked a little she smiled at the slight naughty wiggle of her ass cheeks. She concluded the guys at the mall must have had masturbated fantasizing about her. She was sure they must have come profusely as well. If a plumber came home to work on any broken pipe she thought what it would be like to be raped by an uncouth man. It was all their in her mind. Her most menacing fantasy was to guess Bikash's reaction after she rocked the bed with someone from his office. Finally he would know how one should do a woman like her on bed. A naughty smile followed the thought as she looked at her husband snoring and sleeping ignorant to his wife's thoughts. Soon she started guessing the best sex position with the men she noticed every day. With the milkman she would look sexiest in the doggie pose. With the newspaper boy, legs on shoulder. The lift-man, reverse cowgirl. Mr. Mehta, her neighbor, cowgirl. With Anil, Bikash's colleague whom she met once, a perfect 69! Fantasies became the anti-dote to the boredom her marriage had cultivated.
It was after few months after the mall incident that she visited an eye clinic following regular headaches where she met her college friend Simi. She was there to change her glasses.
"Simi Goyel?"
"Oh my God! Anushka Banerjee! How on earth are you?"
"I am good. And am Mukherjee now. Married."
"Awesome. Congrats."
"Thanks. I too am Simi Sharma now."
They decided to catch up over a cup of coffee straight after their eye clinic visit.
"So, when did you get married?"
"Been a year. And you?"
"Little more than two."
"Wow!"
"Any kids?"
"Are you kidding me? No way! Now is the time to have fun dear. What does your husband do? And was it an arranged marriage?"
"He is in software. Arranged. You know I wasn't the type to marry early."
"Like me! We both wanted to enjoy the wrong men till we settled for the right one." Simi burst out laughing. "Remember those college and hostel days?"
"Hell yes. Miss them too."
"Oh God! Time really flies."
Simi's phone buzzed. As she talked over the phone hastily Anushka perused her. There was a difference now between the two friends, she noticed. She didn't dare to confess the difference to herself lest she broke down.
"You working?" She asked as Simi cut the phone line.
"Yup darling. Will stagnate otherwise. What about you?"
"Am stagnating in that case." Anushka smiled trying to veil the subtext in the comment. But Simi was smarter than she thought. There was a silence after which Simi said, "Honey, I need to go to my office now. But hey, why don't you come over to my new flat. I shifted last week. We can really catch up properly."
"Sure. Where are you putting up?"
