My husband Joe still maintains contact with several friends he made in college. Mick we only saw about once a year because he lives so far away. Even though we don’t see each other that often, when we get together its like we never were apart. We just pick up where we left off.
We have gotten reasonable close over the years. Kissing and hugging each other was a natural thing to do. It’s never been sexual but rather indicative of closeness.
Mick was married and that broke up about 3 years ago. He kept custody of his teenager. During this, 3-year period Mick hadn’t dated. He was content to keeping to himself until his child was gone. Even though we haven’t seen him since he broke up, there have been numerous phone calls to each other. My husband teased him merciless on countless times, during these calls. The teasing usually referred to their respective dates, me for my husband and Mick’s hand for Mick.
My husband and I were each other’s first. We have an active sex life with each other and on many occasions we would fantasize. Our fantasies began including other people. We decided it was O.K. to fantasize as long as we knew that our fantasies would not become reality. My husband would often bring up Mick as someone for me to think about. The thought of him abstaining all these years and how I could help him appealed to me. The fact that he was so far away also made it safe. Soon Mick was one of my favourite fantasies.
This year his child went away to university and Mick was becoming lonely. So one night, after a phone call to him, my husband decided that we should visit him the following weekend.
We decided to leave on a Thursday and return Sunday. It was a long drive up. We talked about him on the way up and what the last three years must have been like for him. We marveled over his sexual abstinence. It wasn’t too long before we talked about the fantasies that included him. I shared with my husband how much fun it would be to tease him but it wouldn’t be fair to him. We talked about the line between fantasies and reality. We are happily married and didn’t want to jeopardize our relationship. We concluded that it would be O.k. to tease him and that if things did develop it would be fine as long as there was no penetration.