Author's notes:
I feel like I start each of these chapters with an apology. Well, here goes.
I know that I left you guys hanging with this chapter for months now. I wish there was a good reason for it, but to be honest, there isn't. Life happens to all of us. Sometimes, things just leave you exhausted. People suck the energy out of you, and all you wish for is a moment to not have to do anything for anyone else.
I have read stories from time to time, and have answered a few comments when they pop up, but for the most part the desire to write wasn't there for me.
I have been feeling a little better lately. One of my regrets is leaving this story hanging. So, I will finish this series out. Thank you all for the emails; even the ones that weren't so nice.
And...I'm sorry.
So, for those of you who still care about these characters, I am finishing this. This is one of two chapters to finish this off. The next one will be the conclusion. I hope you enjoy.
Thank you.
***
Synopsis of the last four chapters:
Chapter One:
Regina went away on a vacation with a co-worker; Brian. She was trying to escape the despair that she felt in her marriage, which came as a result of Lee's earlier infidelity. Though she was conflicted about her choice, she had sex with Brian. Naturally, she returned home to a hurt and angry husband. After an argument, Lee stormed out.
Chapter Two:
Regina had a talk with her sister in which she was forced to think about her insecurity surrounding not being able to have children. This was exacerbated by the fact that Lee mistakenly impregnated the woman he cheated with. This was the rage that pushed Regina to make the impetuous, ill-fated decision to run away in the first place. Being confronted with her rage made her rethink her marriage and wonder if it was worth it.
Meanwhile, Lee was dealing with his own issues surrounding the situation. He felt guilty for his own infidelity yet was angered by his wife's. His own was a bad choice made at a weak moment. His wife's was a calculated, planned out process. He too was on the cusp of the decision of determining if the marriage was worth salvaging.
Chapter Three:
After her talk with her sister Trudy, Regina was finally ready to begin building a bridge across the gap of communication that had been severed. However, Lee was still dealing with his anger. He wasn't ready to talk.
The latter part of chapter one and the entirety of chapter two happened on the day Regina returned from her trip, so chapter three found the two trying to navigate their way around each other the next morning as they prepared for work. The communication barrier continued to grow.
As the two went their separate ways to work, they had different experiences. Lee found that he needed a day off to process things. His best friend, Daryl, offered him a place on his couch while he got his head on straight. When Lee went home to pack a bag, he found Regina's bag that she took on her weekend trip. The contents of that bag held evidence that made Lee feel like she was trying to replace him. It broke something inside of him, and he decided to make this temporary hiatus a little more permanent.
Meanwhile, Regina's work day was filled with her trying to come to terms with her conflicted feelings regarding Brian. He pursued her relentlessly. His confidence that he was better for her than her husband made his pursuit justified; at least in his mind.
She came home that evening to find that Lee had left her.
Chapter Four:
For the first time, the couple had face life without the other person.
Regina coped with Lee's absence with mixed feelings. She was relieved to have some breathing room away from him silently judging her on how she was dealing with her issues, yet she missed him immensely.
After repeated attempts to talk to him, she finally got him on the phone. The conversation was an honest one, but not one that put the couple in the best place to move forward together. After it ended, Lee stopped taking her call.
She also had to deal with her feelings about Brian. He was not letting her go and was making it very difficult for her to concentrate on fixing things with her husband. He felt entitled to her love; like he deserved it.
But that wasn't his choice to make.
Meanwhile, Lee was dealing with his past actions. His mistakes held grave consequences for his life, but it also brought the gift of a son. The realization that he was going to be a father started to dawn on him.
It was time for him to grow up. He made a vow to his unborn child to do everything in his power to give him the best life possible. Right now, keeping that vow was the most important thing in his life.
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"Why do you keep coming back here? I told you, I don't want your help."
Jennifer protested Lee's existence from her reclined perch on the couch. Her face was scowled with irritation as she threw ugly at him with her eyes.
She was careful not to speak too loudly. Cradled in her arms and softly suckling at her breast was the blessing named Malcolm.
Lee ignored Jennifer. Her irritated words to his presence were beginning to lose their power. Ever since she gave birth, they'd been doing this song and dance.
Go away!
I don't need you here!
Stay away from me and MY son!
Instead of responding with pleas and/or arguments about seeing his baby, Lee simply took comfort in the realization that if she really wanted to be rid of him, all she had to do was not open the door when he rang the buzzer.
But she always did.
He silently went about his business of putting the groceries that he bought in her fridge. He had to make room by throwing out a half empty gallon of spoiled milk, a loosely wrapped Subway sandwich with crusty bread, and some questionable Chinese food.
"I thought you ate healthy. What's up with all this fast food?" he asked, as if he was oblivious to her obvious irritation of him.
She snarled at him from her reclined position on the couch. Careful not to scare Malcolm, she whisper-yelled, "And I thought I told you that we don't need anything from you! Go home to your wife!"
Hearing Regina mentioned caused Lee to pause momentarily. His eyes darkened with the blackness of residual anger. "Don't bring her up." He said simply before he threw an empty carton of eggs out and replaced it with the ones he bought.
The offhanded statement caused Jennifer's eyebrows to arch curiously. She took notice of the gloomy cloud that had descended on him with the mere mention of "her".
A small, cruel part of her wanted to press that hot button to see what kind of response she would get. That was overruled by the reminder that she'd just got Malcolm quiet, and she didn't want Lee blowing up and disturbing the small slice of silence that she was currently enjoying.
Besides, no matter how deep her distain for him went, she didn't really have it in her to kick him in a vulnerable spot. While she would like to believe that it was common decency on her part, the scary truth was Lee's presence wasn't as much of a nuisance as she was making it out to be. Yes, he was a complete jackass who was married to an even bigger jackass, but he was all she had right now. Going through this pregnancy alone had been tough for her. Depression and fear became as much a part of her as the child growing in her womb. Her super religious Christian family had long ago labeled her the rebellious reprobate beyond redemption. Pastor Malcolm Williams III couldn't have his perfect family's image sullied by the tattoo wearing, premarital sex having, alcohol drinking, weed smoking harlot.
God's love truly at work.
Even bringing their grandchild into the world wasn't enough to be granted a reprieve from their ostracization. They say that a woman is closer to death in the delivery room than she is at any other time in her life, yet the only person who cared enough about her to show up at the hospital was a stubborn one-night stand who wouldn't go away. He flat out refused to leave, even when she screamed that she didn't want him there. When the nurse tried to send him away for fear that his presence was too upsetting, he reluctantly compromised by sitting in the waiting room.
And that was where he stayed until he saw his son's face for the first time, which was nearly 6 hours later. Even then he had to be content with viewing Malcolm through a glass window.
So, for all her bluster, this pigheaded man was just what she needed in her life right now. Her issue, the reason she could never trust him, was because she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Guilt is a powerful emotion, but it is also a fleeting one. Once a guilt-ridden soul feels that he/she has paid their penance, they are free to ride off into the sunset.
Was this good dad act born of a guilty conscience, or was it genuine? The guy in her kitchen right now wasn't the man that she reached out to months ago.
"You hungry?" Lee asked, noticing the cooling in her temperament as her thoughts ran away with her. Her face had involuntarily softened as she briefly forgot that she was supposed to hate him.
She felt Malcolm start to squirm in her arms, though his lips still stayed latched onto her nipple. Looking down at him, she saw his face grimace. She knew what that meant. Switching him from his cradling position to her shoulder, she pulled at the hem of her shirt to cover her exposed breast.
As she gave Malcolm's small back firm pats to release the burp that needed to come, she cut her eyes at the man who refused to just disappear and die. She wanted to tell him to go fuck himself.
But her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten since breakfast.
She silently cursed her body for betraying her as she reluctantly gave Lee a stiff nod. If he wasn't going to go away like a good little lying snake, he might as well make himself useful.
"Ham and cheese sandwich okay?"
Another wordless nod
"Coming right up." He said with a small grin, amused by how painfully hard that was for her.
As he made her meal, he noticed that she had her head turned slightly in his direction; like she was trying to watch him without appearing like she was watching him. He wished he could hear what was going on in her head.
Once he was done fixing her food, he poured her a glass of orange juice and brought both over and placed them on the coffee table in front of her.
"Enjoy." He said and walked away without waiting for her to thank him. Not that she was, anyway.
This would be the point that most people would disappear. Having done their good deed for the day, they would be free to go on their merry way, doing what it was they really wanted to do.
