I woke with a dry mouth and throbbing head. Through bleary eyes I didn't recognise the image of the surroundings which danced crazily around inside my head. I stopped to think for a minute. Hmmm.... It was clearly obvious that I was suffering the ill effects of drinking too much from the night before, but this didn't shed any light on where I was, what time it was, how I got to be here, or indeed, what day it was.
God, I really must have been very drunk. I pulled myself from the horizontal position I was lying in on some stranger's sofa to sit upright and almost instantly regretted doing so. The room spun round and round, nausea engulfed me. I lied back down again to keep myself from throwing up. It was then recollections of the previous night's events started to spring in to my mind.
Music... I remembered there had been music. Music and lights. That's it! There was a disco we were at. We - not I? I paused. My wife Lin was there with me. Yes, okay, we were there together, but where was I now, and more to the point where was she? I continued my train of thought, trying to remember more.
We had been invited to a wedding reception, some friends of Lin's were getting married. When I say friends, they were more like acquaintances and when we got there we hardly knew anyone. So far so good, my memory seemed to be restoring gradually as I traced the night's events. I idly thought a little more about it. I picked up from where I left off. We hardly knew anyone there, but everyone was really friendly, laughing, joking and after a while we found ourselves sitting on a table with some close friends of the bride and groom.
We talked like old friends, buying rounds of drinks for each other, dancing and generally having a good time. By now my memories were becoming a little more obscured - by this time I think that the alcohol was taking its toll. I remembered the disco stopping for what must have been the end of the night and getting into a car driven by one of the men we had befriended on the table. I sat in the front passenger seat, Lin had sat in the back in-between two other friends of the man driving the car. Mike and Steve, yes, that's what there names were. John was driving. The journey to wherever we were going to lasted a fairly long time, but Lin seemed to be enjoying herself, whispering and giggling with the other two in the back.
We eventually pulled up in a driveway in a house, got out and went inside. And that was it - that's where I was - in John, Mike or Steve's house. Ah, I thought, one piece of the puzzle solved. We went inside and I was poured another drink. Someone put some music on. Music.... Lin was dancing with John in the sitting room, some slow songs were playing and they were fairly close to each other. At first I didn't notice it, although it must have happened practically the moment they started dancing, John's hands were resting on Lin's arse.
This progressed from a gentle caress to a full-on grope. And yet I sat there saying nothing. This, now, being sober, made me feel sick to the bone, my wife had been touched up in front of me and I had quite plainly accepted it. Maybe it was the drink, maybe I was being naive, but this was for sure - Lin was being quite clearly being groped by this man and obviously knew it, and yet she said nothing neither, there again, I thought to myself, if I were enjoying a little fun and my husband didn't object, neither would I.
My non-objection for things getting a little out of hand was like a free for all to have a quick feel up whilst having a smooch with my wife. John, Mike and Steve took it in turns to have a dance with Lin, each pressing themselves close to her, hands roaming along her hips, around her waist, stroking each arse cheek in turn, feeling the back of her thighs, whilst Lin responding by giggling and whispering in each of the mens' ears, her fingers intertwined around the back of their necks, swaying in time with the songs playing on the stereo.
My memory was becoming fuzzy again, all I could remember now was sitting and watching the men dance in turn with my wife while I drank my way through the bottle of vodka which I had been presented with. And that was it - that was all I could remember, I must have blacked out. I looked down at the floor, there was the empty vodka bottle and drained glass...
I decided that it was time to do something, even if it was to get a glass of water. I hauled myself up and set off to look for the kitchen. Feeling a little better after finding the kitchen sink and drinking what seemed like a gallon of water I headed off to have a look round to see where everyone was. This proved to be less than fruitful, the two bedrooms I found were empty, although obviously slept in - the sheets were messed up, the bathroom was empty, although obviously used - towels were discarded all over the floor, the kitchen was empty, although littered with empty cans and bottles. I wandered back in to the sitting room. It was only then I saw the letter on top of the television addressed to me.
I opened it up, it read: "Darling, thought you'd better have a lie-in, get a taxi back home when you've woken up, there's a taxi-rank outside, love Lin xxx".
The journey home in the taxi took around half an hour and £28 out of my wallet, but at last I was home, home sweet home.
Lin was up and about when I got in.
"Recovered then?", she asked.
