"Michael Wells has been seen around town with an attractive married woman."
Those were the words that began the destruction of my marriage. They were factually true. The photo clearly showed my face, it only showed the back of her head.
I am Michael Wells. My friends call me Monkey. I won't go into all the details about that, I will give you the quick version.
My initials are MW. Years ago there was a large department store chain with the same initials, some of you may have heard of it. They were referred to As Monkey Wards in some parts of the world. Needless to say someone saw the initials on a bag or something, and the name Monkey was applied and it stuck. I guess it is a bit ironic that I run the local (almost a) department store. We are still growing, we are currently at 45,000 square feet..
I have lived in the same town almost all my life. You sneeze on one side of town and someone on the other side will be calling to report to all their friends that you are sick. Before the day is through you have died and the services are being planned.
The town is not so small as some of the minds within it; after all we have 5 stoplights here. Well, it is 6 if you count the one out by the fireman's carnival grounds. They only use that one when something is happening there.
The local paper only publishes on Monday and Thursday. In my opinion it is not worthy of being called a newspaper; but then it is too rough to use as toilet paper and I have no bird cage. The owner's wife writes a local gossip column that is known to always tell the truth. That is the name; ALL THE TRUTH.
The padre at the Catholic Church was seen drinking wine; during Mass was not stated. There was a report as to the number of bottles in the trash. Glass recycling is once a month here. The fire chief was seen running around at the fair grounds without his pants on; he was in the dunking booth at the carnival in his swim trunks. The stories went on and on, all reporting actual facts that were completely true, just leaving out the information that would make complete sense out of it.
Cleve Barker was the owner/editor of the local paper. His wife Emma Barker was the gossip maven, the seeker of eternal truth, the person who ruined my life. Emma Barker was the most vindictive bitch I ever met.
She had been in the week before to replace their washing machine. They bought the old one from us 25 years ago. We only made one service call to replace a drive belt, the washer was considered unreliable after that. We had one on sale, at $10 above cost. She wanted that one with free delivery and setup. I pointed out that the ad clearly said "Delivery and installation extra." She stormed out.
She went to the big national name store in the next county and paid nearly double what we would have charged her for the same machine, and additional for the delivery and setup. They would typically deliver it in a week; we would have had it there the next day.
It was not the cost; she just liked pushing her weight around. And, oh man, did she have some weight. Rumor has it that she slipped on an icy sidewalk, fell down, rocked herself to sleep and almost froze to death. Too bad it was almost.
The day my life as I knew it almost ended.
I arrived home from work, that fateful day, to find all my clothes in the yard. The sprinkler was running, the locks were changed and a man waiting for me with a rather large envelope.
"Michael Wells?"
"You know I am you stupid idiot."
"You have been served."
The stupid idiot was my cousin Steven.
"You could have done me the courtesy of warning me" I yelled as he went back into the house.
My neighbor, Spud, was on the way over to help me clean it up. I waved him off and said "Let it be. I'll get some more tomorrow at work." He wanted to load it all in my pickup but that was going nowhere until the flat tires were replaced.
Spud said "I called for the rollback down at Tom's Garage. He will get it in the morning." Then he handed me the paper and showed me the latest gossip.
"The bitch gives her a compliment and she divorces me. WHAT is wrong with this?"
Spud commented, "She has not figured out how to get into the garage yet. Imagine what she would do with your car and tools."
The car he referred to was my first car, a 64 Dodge Custom 880. The first half of the year they made the Custom 880, the second they put out the Polaris. The thing is a boat, oh what a smooth ride. Mom gave it to me after Dad died, it was his last car. He must have driven it for 20 years before he died. I also have the first delivery van from the store in there. It is almost completely restored to new condition.
I was 17 when Dad died of cancer. Mom and I ran the store together until she got too old to work full time. At 68 years old she is still doing well but can not take the stress of a full time job. She still opens the store a few days a week to be sure I am doing things right.
Spud continued "I also called Arnold Benedict to get a restraining order to keep her out of the garage." Arnold went to school with Spud and me. He is the other local lawyer in town. By that I mean, other than Eileen's brother.
Eileen is my wife, for the moment. Neither she nor her brother is very smart. She got the looks in her family; he got the stupid name. Wadsworth Wallington Smythe VI, it was a family tradition. The others had all died young. Spud claims it is the 'shame of the name' that causes it. In reality they all got careless and died in accidents; the first couple were horse and wagon, the later ones were all in automobiles.