The Honey-Do List
Ah yes, the honey-do lists, never ending yet constantly expanding. I have come to loath and fear this reminder of how "days off" are never easy nor relaxing in preparation for the next week of work.
Once again, the weekend begins and soon the list rears it's ugly head. The sink to fix, the tub to re-plumb, and the grass to be mown is only the beginning.
As the alarm clock ticks to 6:00 a.m., the air raid warning wails from the tiny plastic box, so eager to interrupt my slumber. Groggily, I reach over and attempt to smash it through the night stand to silence it for a few more winks. Fortunately for it though, my wife has other plans. Up at the slightest noise, she bounds over me, like an Olympic hurdler, hell bent for gold. Crap! No snooze button today.
"Noah? Are you planning on sleeping in all day?" Jody politely asks as she legs into her jeans.
"Yep" I reply.
Then, in a brilliant stroke of loving cruelty, Jody casually leans over me, caresses my cheek with the back of her hand, "Honey, I was hoping that you could fix the kitchen sink for me today." At this point she grabs the covers that I have wrapped myself in and whisks them off the bed. In an instant the cocoon of warmth is shattered as the frigid morning air rushes in to greet me with a mild case of hypothermia.
My eyes spring open, mouth claps shut and my teeth begin to chatter.
"You are Evil, just plain evil," I inform Jody.
"I know, but you love me anyway, right."
"Can I think about it for a little bit?" I stupidly ask.
Immediately, a searing pain shoots through my shoulder as Jody lands a well-placed punch.
"Come on" Jody says "get dressed and I'll get the boys."
"All right, I'm up, I'm up. By the way, yes, I love you, especially in the morning. You're so beautiful when you're mad."
Jody slips her shirt over her head, which is tilted slightly, gives a mock laugh, "Ha, Ha, very funny," she says. Then She open the door and steps out on her way to wake up our twin 15 month old boys in the next room.
So, my morning begins, wrapped in the arctic breath of Mr. Freeze and a sore arm from my loving wife. I reluctantly release my claim to the bed, get dressed, head to the bathroom, brush , rinse, and flush...out the door in five minutes flat!
As I head downstairs, I walk pass the pantry, where, emitting like the beacon from a lighthouse, the reflected light shines off a 2 liter bottle of Code Red Mountain Dew. Truly, one of mans greatest inventions! Breakfast in a bottle. I reach in, grab the bottle, twist the cap to a satisfying "hiss" and take a long, slow, heavenly swallow. Yes, my friend, this Truly is the nectar of the gods.
Jody, now with the twins, joins me downstairs. I take our "youngest" son and place him in the high-chair to eagerly await his breakfast.
"Do you want anything for breakfast, dear," Jody asks.
"No, Im good thanks" I reply "I suppose I'll get started working though. What do you need taken care of first?"
"The sinks been acting funny lately. Could you start with that?" She asks.
"Sure."
Now, Jody is a true master of ceremonies, able to direct someone like the captain of a warship in the heat of battle and I am no exception. After the sink, comes the leaking faucet in the bathroom, then the aftermath of a storm our boys created in the family room, which is a daily occurrence, and before I know it, it's 1:00 pm. PERFECT...I now get to mow the lawn in the hottest part of the afternoon! ♬ "Oh happy day".♬
As I pull the lawn mower out of the shed, an obscure thought hits me "I can't wait till Monday."
The sun beats down on me as I push the mower back and forth across the yard. Causing mass genocide to blades of grass, lawn bugs, and rocks alike. Sweat pours off my forehead and into my eyes.
Then, relief! Jody arrives at the edge of the porch with a tray of lemonade and a couple of glasses.. Upon seeing her, I kill the mower ans walk over to her.
"Hi honey, care for a glass of lemonade?" She asks.
"Do fish need water?" comes my witty reply.
A symphony of music greets my ears as liquid and ice meets glass. She hands a glass over the rail, but before she has a chance to fill her own cup, mine has been drained, quenching my thirst like a rainstorm to a desert cactus.
"More?" Jody asks.
"Yes, please" I say "Thanks, sweetheart, That really hits the spot."
"I thought it might. How much more do you have to do?" she asks
"Not much, maybe another 30 minutes or so."
"Ok, well, the kids are asleep, so I'm going to enjoy the sun for a bit while you finish."
As I restart the mower to continue, I see Jody pull over a lawn chair, remove her shirt and lay out in her bikini top.
Now, I don't know how many of you have tried to mow a lawn without looking at said lawn, but let me tell you, It ain't easy!
My attention is drawn to my wife, lovely in every way, she stand 5'10" and just a shade under 160 lbs. Not bad for having twins a little over a year ago. Anyway, the sunlight highlights her 32 D breasts like islands on the open sea.
Back and forth I mindlessly mow the lawn in a zig-zag pattern. Drinking her in with my eyes. After about 10 minutes of this, she stands up, hooks her finger into the top of the waistband of her shorts and eases them down over her nicely rounded ass. I'm positive that she knows I'm watching because she seductively lowers them. Not slow but just fast enough to be an erotic strip tease. My god, she has an awesome MILF body.