The Teacher's Husband - Ate's Story

This is a sequel/ extension of Offkilter123's "The Teacher's Husband" story. I want to say from the outset, I enjoyed the story and gave it a full rating. I suggest you read that story first to give you some perspective. Yeah, he had some editing issues, name changes etc, but the story was moving and the plot was good. Offkilter told me commenters saw more in his characters than he'd originally intended. I know from personal experience how true that is. But as I read the story a second and even a third time, I saw another side. Offkilter graciously agreed to let me write a sequel from the cheating wife's perspective.

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The son of a bitch! He slammed the door in my face. He did not even give me a few minute's time to explain myself. Of course I saw the woman who came up behind him. Her baby bump was apparent. I guess Pete got his vasectomy reversed.

I knew he had a girlfriend, I could not complain about that. Not a bit, especially considering all the crap I'd pulled over the past several years. But to have him dismiss me like that without even giving me the tiniest bit of courtesy? Hell no!!

Yeah, my approach was abrupt. I should have called him, but I did not have his number. My daughters would not give me his cell phone number even though we had begun to talk recently. They refused to give me his address either, but that was not hard to find. Damn! I have a fucking Phd and all I can think of to say to the man I was married to for twenty years was, "I know I have a lot to make up for. I was the worst wife in the world and a terrible mother to our daughters. I'm here to set things right."

Actually, I thought my statement fair. I wanted to talk and hoped a little contrition would get him to listen. I wanted to finally state my case, explain what happened from MY viewpoint. I wanted to explain in a coherent manner. An explanation not clouded by near debilitating depression nor subdued by massive amounts of drugs. Yeah, I should have left my suitcase in the car I'd parked on the street. At the last minute, I thought Dave would have enough sympathy he would invite me inside if he thought I had no option but him. The man I knew before would never have turned away anyone in true need.

I should have known better. Pete never understood mental, emotional need. Had I showed up dirty and starving, he might have offered me sanctuary. At least for a night. He might even have listened to me. But I showed up at his doorstep clean, well-dressed and looking as sexy as I could. And he rejected me, once again. He dismissed me with a wave of his hand and a slamming door.

Well this time he will not get away with that. I was going to make him pay for his actions.

Three months later:

"How could you be such a vindictive bitch?!!" Pete seethed when he saw me as he entered the conference room, "Why can't you just move on or slink back into......" He stopped. Elizabet, his wife and I assume part of his legal team, touched his arm and gave him a look of warning. She knew how bad it could be to set me off. Pete's father, Guy, and two other lawyers completed their group. Two from my team of lawyers were already seated as were my daughters who I had encouraged to attend.

The only reason Pete agreed to appear at all was my demand he be present. He would have preferred for the lawyers to handle all the negotiations but I'd insisted otherwise. His legal team knew they were going to lose their case and wanted to mitigate that loss.

"Okay, I requested this meeting so I would finally be allowed to have my say." I began. "You lawyers can stay or leave. I'm going to lay out some of the family's dirty laundry. Elizabet, I'd advise you stay so you get some real insight into Pete. I'm sure he told you his side of the story. I've heard bits and pieces about some of the distorted crap he's spread around. But I'm going to explain it from my side. And Pete, I'll warn you right now, you are not gonna like some of what I say, but if you do your standard, default move of walking out the door to avoid a discussion, I swear I will take you to court and seek punitive damages on top of what you are already going to be paying me. I know you've been told this and that's the only reason you are here but I want to reiterate that. You will finally sit and listen to what I have to say."

"The real story begins six and a half, almost seven years ago. My therapist and I really thought my problems might have started before that, but that was when it came to the tipping point. But a little background is necessary for the rest of you."

"Pete and I knew each other all our lives. Our parents were close friends before we were even a thought. We were born months apart and we had never been apart until our ultimate divorce a few years ago. We were as close as two siblings. Closer. Nothing we did, from the first few months to the end was separate. Those early photos embarrassed us growing up, but years later, we'd laugh at the ones showing us naked together in the bath. We'd giggle and joke about how now we 'knew things' as we'd recreate those pictures. I'm sure our twins were conceived after one of those sessions." I looked at my daughters Taylor and Kendal and grinned. They were adults now. They knew the score.

"Pete finished his engineering degree while I wanted to continue my education. The man was brilliant. He did not need any advanced training to succeed. On the other hand, an English major has few options for a real career. I stayed in school, got my master's and then my Phd."

"I was on top of the world. Not only was I a "doctor", I was pregnant! Our lives were right where we wanted them. As part of my graduate studies, I done the necessary teaching assistant jobs. I even got a master's in education, not that it was needed to teach in the college environment. It was almost a freebie since I had so much experience. Of course, Pete did not see my career as that great. He saw me as a 'teacher' and that is how he introduced me." Pete began to protest, then shut up. We both knew that was only partially true. He had been proud of me, in the beginning anyway. It was only later, after things changed had he had referred to me in that way.

"Unfortunately, jobs opportunities are not that abundant for English professors. I wanted a job at one of the bigger colleges in the Dallas, Fort Worth area but I'd have to wait until somebody died or retired. Moving across the country to Louisville, Kentucky to accept the unsolicited position I was offered at the university there was not an option. Pete had a great job and was not about to move. Plus our whole family was in the Dallas area and I was pregnant."

"I took a job at Fort Worth Community College to teach English literature. It was not really a bad gig. It was a starting point and I hoped to move to one of the other colleges in the area once I 'made my bones'. My whole family supported that decision. My mother in law, Toni, is a CPA. She worked the numbers and also insisted it was in the family's interest I teach there until an opportunity comes up for a position at one of the more prestigious local institutions. Plus, we had my Mom available to help with the babies. Another consideration for me accepting a position at the community college was I was much closer to home in case I was needed on short notice. The traffic in Dallas, Fort Worth is horrendous and I could count on at least an hour commute each way to any other institution."

"So I agreed and actually I thrived. I got to determine my course curriculum. For a junior college, I taught more than the basic composition courses. We had classes studying American and even British literature. I eventually got promoted to department head, such as it was. I was a happy camper until my world imploded."

"Somehow I got pregnant. Well, I know how that occurs of course. But my birth control failed. It was unexpected and at first a little disconcerting. I already had twin daughters who were starting puberty. Well, not starting, but certainly not to the point that sex was more than an idea or a biological concept."

"But I quickly got into the right frame of mind. I was on top of the world. Pete was concerned at first about us having another kid. I understood. He was looking forward to our being kid free sometime in the near future instead of having another one and prolonging that eighteen years. Still, he got right on board and loved the idea. Or so it seemed." Pete opened his mouth to protest, so I added. "Well I am just guessing what he might have thought privately from his actions later."

"But, almost three months along, I aborted the baby. Nobody in this room has any idea how devastating that is. Pete's mom, Toni, knew. She understood fully since she experienced the trauma twice." I saw Pete's dad's mouth drop open. Pete looked at his father. I'm sure he never knew she'd ever had a problem. "Yeah, Guy. You knew about the one time, but Toni did not tell you when it happened again. Not that you did not deserve to know, but for how you acted. Telling a woman it is not like losing a 'real baby' is NOT conducive to a loving relationship nor forgiveness." He stared back, obviously shaken.

"Let me tell you what I was holding wrapped in the paper towels from the restroom when Toni arrived to help me. It was about the size of my thumb, maybe a bit larger. But it had a head, a face, two arms and two legs. It was a baby. I did not look close enough to see if it was a boy or girl. That did not matter. It was my child and it was dead! I watched it die in my hands!" I paused a second to gather myself. I had rehearsed this but still almost broke down in tears at the memory. I looked at Pete and he at least had the decency to look abashed. He'd said something similar to me about it not being a real baby and I suspected he'd heard it from his father.

"I spent almost a week off before I returned to work. I tried to work from home but could not stand to sit there alone even though Toni and Mom came over to check on me every day. I sent Pete to my office to get the notes for my lecture so I could email them to all my students. I heard later Pete said I was teaching a class in gender identity in Hemingway's story. What a crock of shit! It showed me how much he really thought of what I did. The block of instruction was a comparison of how early twentieth century authors portrayed their female characters compared to the present. Pete was as obtuse as a brick then as he was later."

"Yeah, Pete was a little sad at the loss of the baby, but he had no concept what I was feeling. I'd failed. I'd lost a child, I saw that face, those arms, the legs. That was not some lump of tissue Pete seemed to treat it as. Yeah, he lost having another child. I lost more. He really had no idea why I went into such a depression and I could not explain it well enough. You had to experience it to know."

"Toni did. She told me privately after her two spontaneous abortions, she could never risk a third. Which was why Pete was an only child. Somehow we bonded closer than I did with my own mother. We'd always been close but this secret just cemented the bond."

"I tried talking to Pete. I really did. He suggested counseling for me, but it did not help if he was not really in the same frame of mind. He thought he'd done the right thing. All he needed to do was give me time.. I was lost. I began to wonder if maybe I'd really lost my mind. I'd break down and start bawling at the drop of a hat. He told me to buck up and work through it."

"I know I wasn't there for the family. I was barely there at all. My daughters needed me and I could barely function. I went through the motions." I looked at my daughters. The gave me slight smiles and nodded. We'd talked about this over the past few months. I never tried to justify my cheating but they knew I loved them and wished I'd been there for them at the time.

"One day an adjunct professor who had taken over my classes whenever I was out asked me what I was feeling. I realized nobody really asked me that. Toni just understood. Everybody else told me how to cope. How to put it behind me. Pete was big on that. Yeah, according to him, I'd had a great loss, but I needed to take over and by force of will, I'd get by. Just give it some time. He even suggested it would make me feel better to get pregnant again. I almost panicked at the thought. There was no way I could risk going through losing another baby. Pete suggested I get my tubes tied but when I showed him how that is not such a minor procedure, he finally agreed to get a vasectomy, which we can all see he got reversed." His new wife put her hand on her belly.

'I'll admit, listening to Kevin was stupid. I had no idea I was THAT vulnerable. He was there with a hug, a shoulder to cry on. That turned to him talking about more intimate things and I got suckered in. Pete was not talking with me about anything other than basic family business. I even sent Kevin photos of my breasts. He asked. I owed him. I have to admit it was kinda fun showing my tits. I was not going to do it in public of course, but shaking my titties in front of the camera made me feel like a woman. NOT like a failed mother. He sent me photos of himself nude. Our conversations got out of hand."

"Reality struck home when my daughters saw us kissing in the mall. They screamed, "What are you doing Mom?" and then they ran before I could explain. I could not explain my feelings to Pete either. My actions spoke for themselves as far as he was concerned."

"Pete was going to divorce me. I'd cheated. It did not matter I had not actually screwed the guy. I could not lose my family. My husband and daughters were everything to me. Yeah, Pete, I saw those printouts you left on the computer desk at home. I know you left them for me to read. You made a little research study on cheaters, with all kinds of cute little abbreviations like WW for wayward wife. I also saw your research on divorce in Texas. How children of a certain age could pick their custodial parent. I knew a threat when I saw it. I was on the ropes. I felt guilty as Hell anyway, and in total fear of losing my family. If my depression was bad before, it plummeted."

"To make things worse, Pete made demands that devastated me. I had to give up my whole career. I know he wanted to separate me from Kevin but he destroyed my professional life. Thirteen years down the drain. I could teach high school or maybe middle school if I wanted to stay in the teaching field. I had a choice. Lose my family, find an alternative job or stay teaching which I loved but at the lowest level possible. Pete would not let me apply to one of the other colleges. To him, they were all cesspools of temptation. It was his way or the highway. I knew if I lost my family I would die."

"I submitted my resume to several places.There really are not many job options for a doctorate in literature. I had only one vague possibility for an editing position with a publisher but they wanted to see what I had written. Had I published etc. I had a few outlines for possible novels but that was all. Pete also demanded I earn an income for the household. His words were, he would not support a cheating slut while she 'played around' when I suggested staying home and writing my novel. He knew full well that a high school teaching job meant a full day every day plus grading papers at night at home. So with family commitments, I'd have no time to begin to work on a novel."

"I took the first job that presented itself. It was a high school but not the one my daughters would attend. Pete would have preferred me to teach there. He suggested I could drive the girls to and from school and be there for any after school activities. The girls balked at having Mom around all the time even at their school. I don't blame them. Still, I was teaching high school English. It was like pulling teeth to get my students to read their assigned books, much less listen to or discuss the nuance of characterization. My honors class was the only bright side to the whole experience. At least they sincerely wanted to learn. I hated my job, but I had to put on a happy face every morning and go teach."

"Pete knew full well I resented the whole thing, but he left me no choice. He told me I'd get over it eventually. He thought I was getting better but I'll tell you it was the meds. Yeah, he wanted me in therapy for my depression but did not give a damn he was making it worse. And the drugs had my emotions all over the place. My doc had finally got me on the right regime and I thought I could cope when I had a cancer scare."

"I found a lump. My grandmother died from cancer that started in her breasts. Mom had a double mastectomy as soon as she found she had the gene. I could not bear to lose one of my tits let alone both. It might sound stupid but the only thing I really had left was my body image. I'd slathered my tits with vitamin E when I was pregnant and did not even have stretch marks. That was one thing Pete used to praise me about. He seemed as proud of my tits as I was. I suspected if I lost them, I might lose him." Pete opened his mouth to protest. "Shut up Pete. You need to know my thinking. I was in a terrible state of depression barely kept in check with medication. I had a job I hated but had to do to keep my family and now I was in danger of losing my breasts. And what did you say? "Well at least the cancer was cured with just a lumpectomy."

"You probably never realized I went for mammograms every six months let alone having my lymph nodes biopsied. I know you never paid attention to my taking medication. I have to admit, I did not tell you all that. You just praised me for 'snapping out of my funk'. Hell, I stayed on a fucking roller coaster emotionally. I took pills on top of pills to try to control it for a while. I told you many times I resented your making me teach at a high school and you basically told me tough shit. It was that or divorce."

"And yes, I will confess to everyone here, I screwed up. AGAIN! At beginning of the last school year I taught, we got a new teacher. Some of you met Paul and I'm sure the rest heard about him. He's a real sensitive guy, one of those touchy feely types who empathizes with everybody. One day he asked me why someone with a Phd would settle for teaching high school. I broke down and told him. I NEVER said you were abusive like I know you told others I did. Paul said it. I realized some of the other teachers thought the same thing when he asked them. They all thought you inconsiderate, domineering and abusive and I began to believe it myself. I realized you were a controlling asshole. I could have and SHOULD have been teaching at the college level except for your demands. I suffered almost FIVE years of your punishment. I did it because I loved you and the girls and could not bear to lose you." Pete stared at me, his face turning red. I knew he was about to burst, but from anger not regret.

"Yeah, Paul and I had first an emotional affair and then we took it the next level. But NOT as often as I'm sure you imagined." I paused to look at my daughters. I'd told them some of this as we'd been talking off and on for the past year or better. But they had never heard me speak so candidly. "We probably had sex like three times before that day he showed up when we were getting ready to leave on that trip. But he loved me. Why, I have no idea. Most of the time he would hold me when I felt a breakdown coming on."

"Yeah, he proposed to me and begged me to divorce you. He even bought a damn ring. I did not want it. I did not want to marry him. I wanted you. I wanted what we'd had. But the words tumbled out of my mouth that yes, if I divorced you, I would marry him. I really had no intention of doing that, but I needed a lifeline. You have no idea what it is like to be clinically depressed. Oh yes, I'd contemplated suicide more than a few times and it scared the shit out of me." As I looked around the room, I saw Pete's dad and the other lawyers fidget. They were uncomfortable and probably wished they had left the room early on.