The Stairway to Heaven

Sometimes my husband makes me so irritated I just want to scream. It's not that I don't love him, but he just can't seem to see things the way I do.

You see, I've always felt that science doesn't know everything about the world. I believe in secret forces like ESP, medicinal herbs unknown to medicine, and spirits from beyond that influence our lives -- that sort of thing. Randy, on the other hand, is a pragmatist. He's an engineer and he says the only thing he believes in is Occam's Razor, whatever that is.

He's always putting my beliefs down. Let me give you an example. I was reading this book about past lives and how each of us used to be somebody else before we were born. I'd always felt like I might have been a queen in some ancient land, but Randy just laughed at the idea. "Missy, if we all kept coming back over and over, there wouldn't be enough souls for the population of the world to get any larger," he told me.

Does that make any sense? Of course not. He's just being contrary.

If Randy would open his mind and give some of these things a chance, he'd realize they're true. But he's always so skeptical about anything that isn't proven scientifically. If they could prove it, it wouldn't be magic, would it?

Here's another example. I read an article in a paper I bought at the grocery store that talked about the dangers of eating animal products and how they cause cancer and heart disease and lots of other terrible things. The author said that if we would avoid all meat, dairy, or eggs, that would purge our bodies of all the harmful toxins.

Guess what? When I wanted us to try it, Randy balked. He said he'd never heard of any toxins that needed purging, and besides, humans are omnivores and need to eat all kinds of food, including animal products. Well, I just ignored him and started on the diet by myself. It was great, except that after a few weeks, I found that I was hungry most of the time and I didn't have as much energy as usual. I finally went to my doctor about it and he told me I was anemic! He also said I wasn't getting enough amino acids, whatever they are, and he made me stop the diet right away. I guess it just wasn't right for my blood type or something.

Randy never said anything about it, but I could tell he felt smug about being proven right. That made me mad, so I told him I had a headache when he wanted to have sex that night. But I couldn't stay upset with the big lug for long, and I made up for it the next night. I think that steak I ate must have pumped up my sex drive.

I was kind of down for a while after the diet fiasco. I know that Randy is really smart, but just once I'd like to make him have to admit he's wrong about something and I'm right.

Fortunately, I didn't stay down for long. My spirits got a real lift when I paid a visit to my favorite psychic. She said I would soon have an experience that would change my whole life. That got me so excited that I asked my best friend Julie to have lunch with me so I could talk with her about it.

I got to the restaurant a little early so I could get us a good table and ordered a glass of white wine for both of us (I made sure to ask for organic.) I was sipping mine when Julie arrived. Wow! She was wearing a black leotard with tights and a flimsy little pink dance skirt around her hips. "Hey, girlfriend," I greeted her, "don't you look sexy! Are you on a diet or something? You're positively glowing."

We kissed each other on the cheek and she sat down and had a quick sip of her wine. "Thanks, Missy. And no, I'm not on a diet; I just got back from The Stairway to Heaven."

"The Stairway to Heaven?" I asked. "Wasn't that some rock opera or something?"

She laughed. "You're thinking about that old Led Zeppelin song," she said. "I'm talking about the new Eastern mind and body discipline that's got everybody so excited. The guru who started it has opened a new center here in town, and I've been going for several weeks. You ought to try it."

"What is it, some new yoga thing?" I asked doubtfully. "I tried yoga back in college, but it didn't do anything for me."

"Oh no," she assured me, "this goes way beyond traditional yoga. Master Sativa says that people live lives of isolation. He says we're cut off not only from each other but also from our own body and spirit. His program leads you through the steps to reintegrate your body, mind and soul, and from there to become one with others and the whole universe."

"Wow," I said, "that does sound like something I'd be interested in. Besides, my psychic told me I was going to have a life-changing experience soon. Maybe this is it."

"Well if you're interested," Julie said, "he's giving an introductory talk tonight at the new ashram. Why don't you come with me?"

That evening, Julie drove me to the ashram, which wasn't at all like I expected. At one time the place had been a small urban grocery store that had long since closed. The front of the building hadn't changed much except that the windows were all blacked out and the grocery store sign had been replaced with a much smaller one reading The Stairway to Heaven. It was almost as though they didn't want to call attention to themselves.

But when we entered, the interior of the place had been completely remodeled. In front was a waiting area with a reception desk and pictures of India on the walls. Once we passed through the door behind the desk, we entered a large open area with walls painted a soothing neutral color and dark-stained wooden floors. The indirect lighting gave plenty of illumination but still maintained the quiet, restful feeling of the area. In the back were several doors which I presumed led to offices and conference rooms.

The big open area had been set up with chairs arranged in a semi-circle around a large wooden platform. There must have been two dozen other women present. As Julie and I found some empty seats, I noticed that there was some kind of Eastern music playing through a hidden speaker system.

Just then, the music died away, one of the doors opened, and a white-robed Indian man came out and stepped onto the platform.

If the ashram wasn't what I had expected, that went double for Master Sativa. I had been looking for an old man with a white beard draped over a bulging belly; what I saw was a handsome young man, clean-shaven with dark, curly hair. His robe was untied, and as he walked around the platform, bowing to different sections of the audience, we could see he was wearing nothing underneath but a kind of white loincloth. His skin appeared to be oiled, and his pectoral and abdominal muscles glistened as he moved. I heard murmurs coming from some of the other women in the audience.

I leaned over to Julie. "Wow, what a hunk. He's really built!"

When the audience had calmed down, he began to speak in a sonorous voice. "When I look at you tonight, I am saddened because I see before me a room filled with the blind. You stumble through your lives sensing objects, people and forces around you, but you do not truly see them, and you cannot understand them. Worse, you cannot even comprehend yourselves, your own bodies and spirits. Our ancient ancestors saw and felt the magic in the world around them, and they were connected to each other and to nature. But the modern world with its science and technology has severed those connections and hidden the sacred and the spiritual from your view."

"That's exactly how I feel," I thought.

"All people strive for enlightenment," he went on, pacing back and forth on the stage. "In their secret hearts, all people long to be one with the universe. Sadly, few if any attain that, because they are unwilling to take the steps that can lead them to the eternal, the universal, nirvana, heaven."

Suddenly he turned and pointed his finger directly at me. "But you," -- then he turned toward a woman several seats to the side of me, "and you" -- he turned to point at another, "and you, and indeed all of you are here because you want to change that. Whether you realize it or not, you are seeking fulfillment, though you don't know how to find it."

He went to the center of the stage and raised his hands in an encircling motion. "But I am here to help you make your ascent. I can help you move from blindness to self-awareness, from isolation to communion with your fellow man, from ignorance to integration with nature, and from the mundane to the spiritual. There are many steps on The Stairway to Heaven. I invite you to take the first one with me."

With that, the lighting rose to full brilliance and then suddenly went completely dark. When the lights came back up to their previous level, the stage was empty, and everyone began to applaud. As the applause continued, the pretty young woman who had greeted us when we first came in now mounted the stage and began to discuss membership, class schedules, enrollment and other details.

I turned to Julie. "That was fabulous," I said excitedly. "I felt like he was talking directly to me; everything he said made so much sense. I want to try it."

"I knew you'd love it," she said. "Come on, let's get you signed up."

When I got home that night, I was so excited by the experience that I had to tell Randy all about it. He listened patiently while I went on and on about what the Master had said, and he read over the flyers they passed out after the meeting.

"Well, what do you think?" I asked him eagerly.

He hesitated a minute, but when I prodded him to respond, he gave a little sigh. "Well, sweetheart, I hate to say it but it all sounds like mumbo-jumbo to me."

He must have seen my face fall, because he hastened to say, "But if you want to do it, it's fine with me."

I decided that I wasn't going to let Randy's stupid skepticism bring me down, so I took the brochures back and read them again to try to regain all the enthusiasm I'd felt before Randy pooh-poohed the whole thing. I'd show him: I'd really throw myself into this, and then he'd see how great it would be.

The brochure said that the master's program incorporated elements from dance, yoga, meditation and other disciplines. So the next day Julie took me to a store that sold dance wear and I bought a bunch of leotards, crop tops, dance shorts and sports bras. At first I was a little hesitant because some of the outfits were pretty revealing. "I don't want the Master to think I'm not serious about this," I told Julie. But she reassured me that I'd feel right at home, so I took her at her word.

When I went to my first class, I quickly saw that Julie was right. There were half-a-dozen other women in the class, and all of them were wearing body-hugging clothing. "This is a sexy group of women," I thought enviously, "I'm going to have to really get in shape to keep up with them."

The chairs had all been removed from the room, and a large soft mat had been placed in front of the stage. A pretty young woman wearing a sports bra and dance shorts mounted the stage and slipped on a wireless microphone. "Ladies, we'll begin in just a minute. For those who are here for the first time, my name is Margaret and I'll be leading you through the first-step exercises. Master Sativa will observe."

At that, the hunky young Indian emerged from the back, wearing nothing but a loincloth. He climbed up on the platform, bowed to us, and then retired to the back corner of the platform, where he sat cross-legged in the lotus position.

Margaret now began to lead us through our paces. After a few minutes of warm-up exercises, she had us perform a series of simple yoga poses, or asanas, as she called them, mixed with rhythmic movements. They may have seemed simple to her, but I was soon groaning as my tendons and muscles began to protest.

Next she led us through breathing exercises. "It's essential that you fill your body with the oxygen it requires," she told us, and she made us take a series of deep breaths. After a while I felt almost giddy, but it wasn't unpleasant.

Finally, Margaret took us through a series of more advanced asanas, and this time she made sure that we practiced the breathing techniques while we did them. Again I felt a little light-headed, but what really surprised me was how aware I became of my leotard and the way it pulled across some of my more sensitive areas, if you know what I mean. It actually felt kind of pleasant.

Throughout the whole session, Master Sativa remained in contemplation. At first I thought he might have gone to sleep, but several times I noticed his eyes following us as we went through the positions. "I guess we're being evaluated," I thought.

Then we were finished. Julie dropped me off at home, and I was so tired I just plopped down on the sofa. Randy came home a little while later, and when I tried to stand up I was so stiff that I could hardly move. Randy laughed when he realized what was going on and helped me upstairs to the master bathroom. After he helped me get my dance gear off, he wanted to join me in the shower, but I begged off because I was just too tired and sore.

He was really nice about everything, and when I put on my robe and came downstairs after my shower, he had a nice big salad waiting for me for dinner. By the time I finished, I'd begun to get stiff and sore again, so he gave me a couple of aspirin and put me to bed. I think I was asleep before he left the room.

The next morning I called Julie. "What have you gotten me into?" I asked. "I thought I was going to die when I got home," I moaned.

She just laughed. "I felt exactly the same way my first time," she told me. "It'll get better -- you'll see."

I have to admit she was right. After a few more sessions, I found the aches and pains seemed to have disappeared, while all the pleasant sensations continued. I also had to admit that I seemed to have more energy than before, and my body was starting to tighten up nicely.

I got another surprise at the next session when Margaret followed up our routine with a talk on diet. I was expecting to hear a lecture on vegetarianism, but what I heard was just the opposite. "Master Sativa teaches that if we are to be one with the world we must partake of all of it, not just a single part," Margaret said. The brochure she gave us promoted meals that included all kinds of meats, vegetables and fruit. The key, it said, was to keep portions within strict limits.

The next night I fixed a meal using the Master's instructions, and Randy really enjoyed it. When I told him where I had gotten it, he admitted that maybe he'd been too hasty in judging The Stairway. Then he said, "And I also have to say that you look really hot in those work-out clothes you bought." I positively glowed: not only did I appreciate his compliments but I thought that maybe he was starting to come around.

My next session at The Stairway was a really good one. My joints felt like they were oiled, and my muscles had a new strength I hadn't felt before. As we moved through our asanas and did our breathing exercises, I became increasingly aware of my body. In fact, to my amazement I was actually getting aroused. It's hard to explain, but the breathing combined with the pull of my leotard seemed like a lover's caress. By the time we were done, I was so turned on I could hardly stand it.

When I got home, I quickly stripped off my sweaty sports bra and dance tights and began to touch myself. Just then, I heard Randy's car pull in the garage. I ran to the door and waited. As soon as he came in, I grabbed him by the arm and began pulling him towards the stairs.

"Wow!" he said. "What's got into you?"

"I don't know," I panted, "but if you don't take me in the bedroom and screw me silly, I think I'll explode!"

It was actually pretty humorous: he was trying to get out of his clothes and I was trying to strip him. We kept getting in each other's way, but finally he was as naked as I, and we fell across the bed together. He started to kiss and caress me, but I stopped him. "No!" I yelled. "No foreplay, just fuck me!"

I didn't need to ask twice. He spread my legs and pushed into me while I humped up against him. He definitely didn't need use any lubrication; I was as wet as I'd ever been. As he pounded into me, I kept practicing my deep breathing, and my arousal jumped up to another level. It didn't take long for both of us to reach a glorious climax.

After we had caught our breath, he rolled over to look at me. "Wow!" he repeated. "If that Stairway stuff is responsible for this, I want you to keep on with the program."

I was so glad Randy was happy about the program; I know I was. I had lost a few pounds, but more importantly I had tightened up in a lot of places that used to be a little saggy, if you know what I mean. I had more energy and strength, and the little tingles I got while going through my routine were an unexpected but very nice bonus. I know Randy was enjoying it; our love life seemed to have returned to the same level as when we were first married. "Money well spent" was the way he put it.

The next time I went to the ashram, however, things changed. The girl at the reception desk stopped me when I came out after the session and told me that my instructor wanted to talk to me. That made me a little nervous: had I done something wrong?

So you can imagine my surprise and relief when Margaret came out and gave me a big hug. "Congratulations, Missy. Master Sativa has been watching you and has decided you have successfully completed the first step on The Stairway!"

I was so excited that I began dancing around the reception area. When I finally calmed down, a question suddenly popped into my head. "What happens next?" I asked her.

"Oh, you'll love it," she promised. "For the next step, you change from group to individual instruction. Master Sativa is going to personally supervise the next steps on your journey. It's a great honor."

I felt overwhelmed at the thought that I would get to spend time one on one with the Master. But then I quickly became very anxious. "What if I don't measure up? What if I'm not good enough for him?"

She just laughed. "I think everyone who takes this step has the same fears. But when Master Sativa decides that a student is ready, he is almost never wrong. Don't worry -- under his tutelage you'll soon be ready to take even more steps before you know it."

That afternoon I told Julie about my news, but she didn't seem quite as excited as I expected. I think she might have been a little jealous because I was progressing so fast. You know how women can get.

The next time I was scheduled to go to the ashram I was nervous. I changed my outfit several times because I wanted to look good for the Master, but I also wanted to show him I was serious about my training. Finally I decided on a simple teal leotard with matching tights. Then I had to hurry to get to the ashram, but I made it with a couple of minutes to spare.

The receptionist told me to go back through the large open area, knock on the door on the right at the far end and then enter. When I did so, I found the Master seated in the lotus position on a large exercise mat on the floor. One wall of the room was mirrored; there was no furniture.

He beckoned me to be seated facing him, so I put myself into the lotus position and tried to calm my beating heart. After a few moments, he began to speak. "Up to now, Missy, you have worked on re-establishing connections between your mind and body. That is the first step in climbing The Stairway. But now you face a more difficult task: breaking the chains that bind you within yourself so you can reunite with your spirit. Many who have tried to do so have failed. Do you want to take this next step?"

"Oh, yes, Master," I said hastily, "but I don't know what to do."

He smiled gently. "Do not fear, Missy, I will guide you each step of the way. Now, if you're ready, let us begin."