This story is humbly dedicated to Lucian. Two millenia ago, he wrote a tale of Ancient Egypt we know today as 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice.'
"Oh, darling. Not tonight. I'm so tired." Belinda smiled sleepily at her husband. Once again, his fingers had been roving over her body in an obvious attempt to initiate sex. Now those fingers stopped and withdrew. Simon fought to hide his feelings from his pretty wife. That's the third time she's said 'no' this week, he thought bitterly. That matched last week's record. The week before had been her 'time of the month', as she coyly put it. (Period, dammit. They're called periods by anyone who's not caught up in some late-Victorian guilt complex about sex.) "I've managed to make love to my wife just twice this month so far," he concluded bitterly. He lay back on the bed and tried to settle down to sleep.
Belinda snuggled up to him in her customary sleeping posture. She was as content as Simon was frustrated. Wonderful husband, nice home, great job, enough friends and a satisfactory social life - yes, things were working out just fine. Both were young - early thirties - and healthy. In a couple of years, she and Simon would have saved up enough to start a family. All things considered, Belinda saw nothing to disturb the even tranquillity of her life. Well, maybe if Simon was not so persistent in bed. She did her duty to satisfy her husband's physical desires. If only his appetite matched hers! Still, it was such a minor problem, even if he did go on about it at times. She drifted off in her husband's arms.
Simon found sleep did not come easily that night. He lay in bed, staring into the darkness. What on earth was Belinda driving at? What did she want him to do? Was he supposed to use porn magazines and masturbate his urges away, as he had done before marriage? Was she giving him a tacit 'green light' to get a mistress or girlfriend? Sighing, he put these ideas to one side and faced up to the truth: Belinda did not give a moment's thought to his perspective. There was no problem so far as she was concerned, so therefore there was no problem. It's not that Belinda was a selfish cow or anything like that: she just lacked the necessary imagination. He dozed off.
The next evening, Belinda was out at one of her evening classes - history of art, or something. Simon was alone and home and surfing the net. It was becoming a habit of his to browse through one or two of the adult 'chat lines', just to have a snigger at the vapid, disjointed conversations. Tonight, just for a change, the chatroom was not dominated by males making vain attempts to chat up the females. Everyone was discussing a problem. A very familiar problem, as Simon realised. What happens when one partner's sexual appetite outstrips the other partner's appetite? The conversation went round in circles, as it usually does. Still, Simon thought, at least I am not the only one with this problem.
He was thinking about logging off when a new arrival, calling himself Phil, calmly announced that he had the solution. It was a system based on hypnosis. It was tried and tested, and it worked. Some people believed him and were agog to find out more. Others reckoned he has been trying some illegal substances before logging on. Phil was bombarded with questions and sceptical statements.
The only response Phil made, when things started to calm down a bit, was that he was an academic in Cambridge. No, not Cambridge, Massachusetts but Cambridge, England. Simon sat bolt upright. Someone who claimed to have a solution to his problem lived just fifteen miles away! Simon took a deep breath and tapped in, "I live in Huntingdon. I'd like to hear more. Fancy dinner at the Langoustine in Grantchester? My treat." The bait was laid. Academics in Blair's Britain were notoriously underpaid. Would one really pass up the chance to have a free meal at a fashionable, expensive restaurant?
A minute passed. Then Simon's heart gave a leap as he read, "Fine. 8pm tomorrow?" Simon confirmed the arrangements and logged off, breathless.
The next evening, Simon and Phil met. Phil seemed a bit young to be a lecturer, but no matter. The conversation went like a dream.
Phil explained his method, which was behaviour modification based on a system of positive reinforcement. That is, a social habit was established in the subject, using hypnosis. This habit was given sexual connotations to the subject. The habit could be anything from walking down a particular street to drinking a glass of orange juice. As the habit was indulged, the sexual appetite was stimulated. Sexual pleasure helped to establish and buttress the habit. Habit and sexual pleasure acted together, each reinforcing the other. What's more, the subject would not connect the habit with the change in sexdrive. It all worked - well, in theory anyway.
Simon was puzzled. "I thought you said it was tried and tested?"
Sheepishly, Phil had to admit it was only theory. Then it all tumbled out. He was not actually an academic at the University, just a Psychology Ph.D. student. Still, it ought to work, and there was no reason why it shouldn't, and....
Phil's voice trailed away and he stared at the table, unable to look Simon in the eye. For a moment, Simon was furious, then he remembered the advice his business school lecturers had drummed into him: "Never react prematurely. Consider the upside and downside to every proposition." If the kid was right, then this would be the answer to his prayers. If the kid was wrong (and he probably was), then what did he have to lose, apart from a little time and a mildly embarrassing explanation?
Rapidly, Simon sketched out his problems with Belinda. Could Phil's system help? Yes, no problem. Was Phil willing to help? He was: he needed a trial like this to be able to prove his theory. There should be no problem in finding a couple of controls for the experiment. There were plenty of women in the faculty where Phil worked: a couple of them should be perfectly happy to act as the necessary contrast. Of course, Simon would need to keep a diary of what happened...? No problem.
Now, what habit should they choose? Phil's view was that it should be something quick, simple, unobtrusive and socially acceptable. It should also be something that Belinda would not do of her own accord, or something that other people might encourage her to do..... They thought for a few minutes.
Absentmindedly, Simon pulled out a packet of cigarettes and lit one. Phil watched and an idea occurred to him.
"Does Belinda smoke?"
"No. I suppose she experimented in her teens as we all do, and her parents both smoked, but she doesn't. She's no anti-smoking Nazi, but I suppose it just doesn't appeal all that much."
"It could be perfect. It's quick, it's something unremarkable, and it's something she would never do of her own accord. Just so long as you don't overdo it, so she becomes hooked."
Simon frowned. "How would it work?"
"I implant a trigger phrase into her subconscious, which will make her smoke. All you have to do is use the phrase."
"Can you make it so that she will respond only to the phrase from me? Somebody else could say it by accident."
"No." Phil grinned. "Contrary to what you read in science fiction books, the human mind is not that discriminating. We'll just have to fix on a phrase that is obscure enough, yet not so outlandish as to make you sound like Svengali to eavesdroppers. Ummm..." Phil looked at the cigarette packet on the table between them. "How about, 'Would you like a Dunhill?' That would work."
The next problem was how to get Belinda hypnotised so the trigger phrase could be implanted. Phil's college had a formal dinner coming up, so he suggested that Simon and Belinda should come as his guests. After dinner, they would go to Phil's rooms, where everything would be assembled. No, don't worry, no drugs would be involved. It's all done by suggestion straight to the mind.
They were getting their coats on when a thought occurred to Simon. He wanted Belinda to enjoy their new sexlife too. "Could you arrange it so that Belinda has an orgasm at the same time as me?" Phil smiled, and thought that simultaneous orgasm should not be difficult to arrange. However, it could not be specifcally linked to Simon. The trigger would have to be when Belinda felt a penis ejaculating in her. So if Belinda ever took a lover, he would have quite a surprise! With that, they shook hands and parted.
Belinda was thrilled at the thought of a college dinner. This particular college was world-renowned for the quality of its cuisine and wine cellar. She did not know their host, Phil. Still, Simon knew so many people through business and his clubs, so she was not surprised. They had a delightful dinner. Phil seemed a little young and ill-at-ease, but otherwise he was easy enough to get along with. He was not very forthcoming about his work, so Belinda assumed it was either very complicated or very secret.
After dinner, she was relaxed and a little tipsy, so she thought nothing of accompanying Simon to Phil's rooms for a nightcap. There, the subject got around to hypnotism. Phil shyly revealed that he was an amateur hypnotist - "just a party trick." Had Simon ever been hypnotised? Yes, he had. On his stag night, he woke up to discover himself walking down Huntingdon high street dressed in a ballet dancer's tutu. After the shout of laughter subsided, Phil asked Belinda the same question. No, she hadn't. Would she like to have a go? Simon encouraged her, assuring her in mock seriousness that he would make sure she did not become the victim of a practical joke. Shyly, she agreed.
Simon fought to conceal the great surge of joy within him.
Phil sat Belinda down at his computer terminal, put headphones on her head and started a program. Belinda, relaxed as she was, found it easy to watch the screen and listen to the voice. She felt herself drifting off on a magic carpet.....
After twenty minutes Phil removed the headphones. "Belinda, can you hear me?"
"Yes." Her voice was soft and distant.
Phil carried out a couple of tests to make sure she really was hypnotised, and not just sleepy or shamming. Once satisfied, he told her to listen to a set of instructions. He replaced the headphones and activated a different program. Half an hour later, he removed them.
"Belinda, when I clap my hands, you will wake up. Your only memory of being hypnotised will be floating on a little pink cloud." He clapped his hands and Belinda woke up with a start.
"How do you feel?" Simon asked his wife.
"Fine. It was lovely. So relaxing," smiled Belinda.
Simon looked at his watch. It was getting late, they had to get home. They thanked Phil for a lovely evening and left.
Simon could not wait to try things out, but he was mindful of Phil's advice to take things slowly.
The next evening, neither Simon nor Belinda had anything planned, so they enjoyed a leisurely dinner at home. Afterwards, they cuddled up on the settee together over a cup of coffee. Simon took out his cigarettes, as he usually did and took one out. He paused, and took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing," he thought.
